Edd and Eddy managed to conga their way out and finally collapsed in the sanctity of their own male bathroom.

"Let's never go back there!" Eddy managed to say. "Ever!"

Edd threw some water on himself. "I agree, but was a truly educational experience...one I shall never forget."

Eddy held up his contract he had Jimmy sign. "Well, the important thing is, we've got the stuff. This is good for one day."

Edd started for the bathroom door. "What a day it's been...camp is almost over and father may be waiting to give me a ride home."

Just as Edd opened the door, Ed burst inside. "I'm a good secretary! I replaced the soap with gravy! Or maybe it was butter." Ed shoved Eddy under a soap dispenser and poured the contents out on him. "Yup, it's gravy."

Eddy wiped himself off. "I'm gonna kill you!"

"I knew this would happen," Edd rolled his eyes. "Luckily, I put out an advertizement for a proper secretary, not that we actually need one."

At that moment Nazz walked in. "Like, is it okay if I talk to you?"

Everything came to a halt. Ed ran for cover in a stall while Edd and Eddy completely froze up, as they always did when Nazz was around.

Nazz didn't appear to notice and continued talking. "See, I wanted a job, and I saw that Double D put out an advertizement, so..."

There was a long pause.

"I love you, Double D," whispered Eddy.

Nazz smiled. "Uh, am I hired?"

This was followed by a longer pause. Edd and Eddy finally blurted a word out: "YES!"

"Awesome!" cried Nazz and hugged them both. If it was possible to die by sweat, Edd and Eddy would have been goners. Nazz just smiled again. "What do I do?"

Edd found his words. "Well, I've rigged up some tin can phone systems. If anyone calls, answer it."

"Yeah," said Eddy, "and do it like this...'Eddy and Double D! Eddy and Double D!'"

"Eddy and Double D! Eddy and Double D!" practiced Nazz.

"Perfect." smiled Eddy.

The sun was setting as Eddy and Edd walked down the Cul-De-Sac. They reached Edd's house.

"Look," Eddy said when they got there, "you've been a good partner so far, but you may be too weak to do our next errand. I can't have the brains of this die, so I'm going off myself."

"Where and what are you doing and going?"

Eddy looked terrified. "I'm raising the money...at the Park 'n Flush."

"The trailer park!" gasped Edd.

"I don't know why or how, but the Kankers are loaded," explained Eddy. "I'm off to meet my destiny."

"That was surprisingly poetic."

"Put it one my gravestone." Eddy turned away and walked into the darkening forest towards the Kankers' home.

Eddy: The time has come
To be a lover from the Argentine
To slick my hair down with Brilliantine
And gargle heavily with Listerine
Oy!
It's time for me
To go to dangerous territory
The bravest thing I've done in history
So much for all fame and glory


They were mateless
They were dateless
Then along came Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy
They were joyless
They were boyless
Then along came Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy
They're disturbing
And they're creepy
Yet I keep those embers aglow
Always haunt me
Always want me
Well, I cast my spell 'n'
They start yellin'
Eddy's on the go!


They were listing
It's depressing
Then along came Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy
They were desperate
And repressing
Then along came Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy


So romantic
They were frantic
Then their prayers were heard up above!
Heaven sent them
Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy
I'm the celebration of love!

By this time, Eddy was right outside the Kankers' trailer. He could smell something inside that was almost as disgusting and musty as Ed's basement. Timidly, he knocked on the Kankers' (for some reason, quite sticky) door.

"It's our boyfriend!" cried May Kanker as she opened it. The other two Kankers, Marie and Lee, rushed over. "Let's kiss him!"

"Wait!" cried Eddy, knowing there was no way out. "If you guys give me...one hundred bucks...I'll stay as long as you want."

Lee thought for a moment. "Five hours. Take it or leave it."

"I should have sent Double D..."

Kankers: We were listing
It's depressing
Then along came Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy
We were desperate
And repressing
Then along came Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy


So romantic
We were frantic
Then our prayers were heard up above!
It's our Eddy
Hail our Eddy
He's the culmination
The restoration
The consummation
The titillation
Ejaculation
He's the celebration of love!

Eventually, after five long hours of love and torture had passed Eddy staggered out and crawled back to Edd's house. "Double D..." he weakly called. "Double D...I got it...I've raised the money..."

"You have!"

Realizing what he'd just said, Eddy snapped back to normal "Hey! I have! Now all we gotta do is put on the biggest flop in Broadway history!"

"That's great!"

Edd and Eddy: We can do it

We can do it

We can make our dreams come true

"Eddy and Double D!" Nazz called into her tin can phone. "Eddy and Double D! The show's a go!" Upon hearing this, everyone began to sing at once, even people who weren't important to the plot.

Jimmy and Sarah: He raised the money

We're on our way

Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay!

We have our backing

Oh, what a day

Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay!

Wonders of wonders, we have all our cash

Blundering blunders, we should have a smash

Nazz: Eddy and Double D...

Kankers: Along came Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy!

Edd and Eddy: We can do it!

Ludwig: Do the Koopa

Rip the Koopa

Jimmy and Sarah: Gay, gay, gay, gay!

Ed: When you stub your toe and it hurts you know

Friends are there to help you!

Charlie Brown and Linus: Champion Charlie Brown!

That has a lovely ring!

Calvin and Hobbes: I really want to be king!

Jason and Marcus: Link, he came to town

He came to save

The Princess Zelda

Eddy: HEY! Stop the singing! This is our song!

Edd and Eddy: With our brilliance

Our resilience

And we'll always use our heads

Eddy: WE CAN'T MISS!

All: They were fated to be mated

Eddy and Edd: We're a pair of screaming Eds!

The "Along Came Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy" song was written for an episode about sleds that was never finished. It was to be sang by Edd. The part where everyone sings a random song at the end is based on the Act 1 Finale, and eggagerated.

Yes, I cut "When You've Got It, Flaunt It." It just didn't seem like a Nazz song, and altering the lyrics would have been useless.