TW: This chapter contains character death.

Growing up, Teppei always had great aspirations for the future. He believed that he would be granted a Vision for his deeds and he would use it to protect and better the lives of the people of Watatsumi. But even if he believed in himself, the higher power of Teyvat did not. Time continued to tick by and Teppei continued to remain powerless.

Despite all that, Teppei still chose to help in every way he could. He joined the Watatsumi Army, when urgent calls went out for recruitment due to the Vision Hunt Decree, in hopes to find glory in battle, only to be assigned to logistics. But Teppei was not angry at his new role, he knew logistics was one of the most important roles in the army. Logistics, after all, held the lifeblood of the army. An army could not run without food and water, supplies had to be delivered to the frontlines, and information had to be efficiently passed along without any detail lost in the middle.

And yet, he still felt that his place in the world was on the battlefield.

But as time went on, his place in the army did not change and he began to wonder if he would ever move up the ranks. He had seen Gorou rise up the ranks from a mere infantry soldier to a general in a blink of an eye and yet, he remained a lowly logistics grunt since the first day he joined the army.

He was happy for Gorou, really, but he could not help but feel jealous of his success in his career.

(Jealousy is natural but no one can see when it settles down deep in the mind to whisper words to you. No one can foresee how those words will affect you.)

He begged and pleaded to be let into the front lines, to join his brethren, to contribute more to the resistance, but his request was denied every single time. Was it the lack of experience? He could fix that by being on the front lines. Was it the lack of skills? He could learn, he could be better. If it was not any of that then the reason had to be because he lacked a Vision. But how was he to fix this? No one knew how Visions were given out and it was not like Teppei could just drop by the nearest weapon shop to get them. Still, there was still hope for him, he knew of some soldiers who wield no Visions and yet, have shown themselves strong even without one. All Teppei needed was an opportunity.

(But wishes do not conveniently come true simply because one asks for it. Even if there is such a thing as a miracle, who is to say that there will be no price attached to it?)

His opportunity came when Sangonomiya Kokomi had to leave for the main island of Inazuma, only taking a few men with her when she left. A day after she left, the Shogunate army attacked the resistance. Suddenly, there was an influx of activity, more so than usual in order to defend against the attacking forces. There were not enough men anywhere, supplies failed to reach their destination due to ambushes, people were sleeping three hours max between their shifts, and men were dying on the battlefield as tactics failed. General Gorou was trying his best, everyone could see that, but as time went on in this battle of attrition, he would break before Kokomi's return. But in the midst of the chaos, Teppei had finally gotten a taste of the battlefield and he hated it.

(The world will watch as you shatter in your own self-destruction. It watches because the world is never a fair place.)

Thankfully, Kokomi returned before the Shogunate army could break through the resistance defences. And with her return, she brought allies, powerful Vision wielders who easily turned the tide of battle.

(Subterfuge is a part of war but lies are a part of yourself.)

Of them all however, one stood out stronger than the rest, as he single-handedly decimated the Shogunate army by himself. Teppei only caught a glimpse of the man but the way he threw out tornados and blades of wind was a sight to behold. It was as if he was watching a god bringing down his wrath upon the people who dared to go against him. It was awe inspiring and at the same time, very scary to watch.

Teppei retreated to the camp with everyone else while Gorou went off to meet Her Excellency's guests. The camp was buzzing with gossip as people tried to speculate who those people were. Some were aware of their identities, especially those who were close enough to fight with them. One of them was a ronin by the name of Kazuha, speculated to be the same Kaedehara Kazuha who had shown up at the resistance camp some months back. There had been a group of sailors according to a few soldiers, pirates most of them said, heroes all of them agreed. The resistance owed much to the Crux crew, had they been even a minute late, most of the people Teppei had been talking to would not be alive to tell the tale.

But of all the people Kokomi had brought back with her, it was the Traveller who had garnered the most interest.

The mysterious Traveller who single-handedly destroyed half of the Shogunate army. He wore no armour, as if he never needed protection. His companion was a strange being as well, a small floating creature, unlike any creatures spoken in tales and myths. What in Orobashi's name was a Paimon anyway?

Everyone in the resistance camp was eager to meet the guests but no one saw them in the aftermath of the battle. General Gorou had returned to the camp and immediately headed straight for the command post but neither the Traveller nor Kazuha were seen following him. If they were not with Gorou then where did they go? Were they still outside the camp? Teppei stepped out of the camp but he stayed close to the boundaries of the encampment as he searched for the Traveller and Kazuha. As soon as he went round the corner, away from the eyes of the guards, he stumbled upon the Traveller and Paimon, chatting beneath a tree. As soon as Paimon had noticed him, the conversation between the two of them ceased and their expressions turned wary and guarded.

(They say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, but do you not fear the knife that will stab you in the back from those you call allies?)

No matter how hard Teppei tried, the Traveller would not respond to him and at times, he would ignore him. Paimon was happy to engage in conversation with him but the Traveller remained silent throughout. General Gorou found them hours later, frazzled and worried but perked up at the sight of the Teppei with the Traveller.

When he heard that the Traveller was going to be assigned his very own platoon, Teppei could not help but feel jealous once more. He had been in this army, serving as a grunt much longer than the Traveller had and yet, the moment he showed up and destroyed half of the Shogunate army, he got to commandeer an entire platoon. How was this fair?

(The world is never a fair place and war is definitely not.)

Gorou pulled Teppei aside after showing the Traveller and Paimon their sleeping quarters, a temporary tent that was set up for Vision wielders seeking asylum in Watatsumi, and private as requested by the Traveller. Gorou explained, in quiet whispers, of the Traveller's disability and Teppei listened with rapt attention. As he listened, the jealousy he once felt of the Traveller turned into amazement. If he was blind like the Traveller, would he still stand on the battlefield? Would he still fight for his people? Teppei doubted that he would.

(When the odds are stacked against you, can you still claim life to be fair?)

The Traveller needed an ally in the resistance, someone he could trust. Sangonomiya Kokomi had burned her bridge with the Traveller while attempting to get his assistance. Gorou could not lead his men while fighting alongside the Traveller. Kaedehara Kazuha would be Gorou's first choice but where the Traveller excelled in close-quarters combat, Kazuha excelled in stealth and speed. The two could not be placed in the same unit, not when their skills were better off in different areas. Kazuha would stay with the Traveller while they were in camp but not when they were required to perform the missions. The only option left was to pair a soldier who could stay on the front lines with the Traveller and Teppei just happened to be there.

The next day, Teppei greeted his new platoon mates and his new leader, the Traveller, Aether.

(Convenience and coincidence are not the same thing. But opportunity, whether arising from convenience or coincidence, is not something you should let go.)

Being in the same platoon as Aether, though the man had every right to despise the resistance simply because of its association with its leader, Aether still led his team to the best of his ability. However, where Teppei grew up with the people he fought together, Aether was a stranger forced into leading them. There was no trust in a leader that no one knew, no faith in a stranger's ability that no one could see. No one else knew that Aether was blind, it was a secret told only to Teppei because Gorou was worried of the pressure that he laid about the man's shoulder. To inform the others of the man's disability would sever what remaining faith everyone had of the stranger.

General Gorou was counting on Teppei to be Aether's friend, if not ally. Teppei was trying, he was trying so hard but there was only so much one person could do.

(Fear eradicates common sense and the fear of disappointment is no different.)

Being in the same platoon with a group of elite veteran soldiers however, further showed how powerless Teppei was. His skills barely measured up to a fraction of their capabilities and it was incomparable against Aether's abilities. He could train all his life but he would never catch up to them. Teppei knew but he kept trying, even when his own comrades laughed at his attempts. Aether never knew about the bullying, not when everyone hid it from him and his seeing-eye companion. Teppei never told Aether, not when he was embarrassed and ashamed for needing to ask for help in the first place. But how was he to fix something unfixable?

That was when he heard rumours of a false Vision.

(What will you do when you are driven into a corner? Will you stake everything to get out, even your own life?)

Rumours of the false Vision origins had been sparse but when someone showed proof of its power, people wanted one and began to badger those who had one. With the false Vision, they could finally break through this stalemate. They could attack the Tenryou Commission at the heart. They might even be able to win against the Raiden Shogun with that power.

And yet, even when Teppei held the false Vision, a Delusion, in his hands, he felt misgivings about the thing. The concept of a Delusion was in every way heretical. How could such a thing be equivalent to a Vision? How could a man-made thing be equal to a gift from the gods?

(Are gods so different from the mortals they rule over? Even gods are not immune to the higher power they serve.)

As he stared at the Delusion on the palm of his hands, Teppei recalled all the times he watched his platoon leader single-handedly taking down enemy soldiers by himself. He remembered thinking how if only he had a Vision, he could fight alongside Aether. He would no longer hold his leader back, he would no longer have to endure the poisonous words of the Vision wielders. He could finally be someone, someone who could never be good enough, someone who could never find the courage to fight back, someone who was not him.

(To become someone else, will you risk destroying yourself?)

Using a Delusion was strange, the rush of power that flowed through him burned but the result was satisfying. He fought off enemies alone with the burning power that ran through him, the fire that seared his lungs each time he used the Delusion. With each painful breath, Teppei rejoiced at his newfound power.

(How much will you throw away for a taste of something different?)

Aether found out about his new abilities. After all, how was one supposed to hide the ability to throw fireballs out of nowhere? However, the origin of the Delusion was meant to be a secret from everyone's commanding officers, that was the deal brokered between the resistance soldiers and the Fatui. Teppei lied to Aether, explaining that he had recently obtained a Vision and Aether accepted it. Why would he not? There was no reason Teppei would lie to him.

The guilt ached in his chest and the lies remained as ashes on his tongue.

(Who is to say that a Vision is not like a Delusion? Who can say that a Vision will not drain away the life of its wielder like a Delusion?)

It was getting harder to hide the effects of his Delusion when his physical appearance changed. It was as if he had aged years within a few weeks. Every time Paimon asked about his new look, Aether would in turn become confused, and Teppei would have to fend off questions from a worried Aether. Other Delusion wielders were showing signs as well and no one knew what was happening. They asked the Fatui who supplied the Delusions, but they told them it was normal and that there was nothing wrong when it was obvious that it was not. They could give up their Delusions but they would not, not when they had finally obtained the power they so desperately sought. Without any other choice, Teppei continued to lie while his body continued to deteriorate.

(Will you give up everything you have ever wanted because you want to live?)

He had everything he wanted, even if the cost was steep. However, is that not the price a soldier had to pay just for even a chance at protecting what they loved? Then why was it that the guilt continued to gnaw at him each day as his lungs struggled to take a breath? He had not betrayed his comrades, he was doing this to protect them! So why? Why was the world betraying him?

(The best and worst lies you can tell are the ones you tell yourself.)

It was when Teppei collapsed out of the blue, completely out of breath, wrinkles on his face and hands, hair as white as fallen snow, was when Teppei finally admitted that he had made a mistake. He crawled, once he found that he lacked the strength to stand, to sit and lean against the boxes of supplies outside Aether's tent. He cried, even when he knew he had brought this upon himself. He wanted to call for Aether, to apologise, to say sorry, to do anything for his forgiveness. He wanted to live, he wanted to see the dawn of the next day, but he knew that his candle of life was burning out. He used the last of his strength to pull out his Delusion, to stare at it in regret and guilt before hurling it away in fury to let it fall into the waters of Watatsumi.

(You do not know what you have lost until it is too late to take it back.)

Aether and Paimon found him just as he was to take his last breath. The look of shock and guilt on Aether's face burned coldly in Teppei's chest and it stung hard. It was wrong, all wrong. It was not Aether's fault he became like this! He needed to tell Aether that it was not his fault, that he should not feel guilty for the decisions that he had made, that he did not deserve to be forgiven if ever.

He needed to but he could not, his body would not obey him and even speech felt impossible. Still, he tried, forcing his mouth to open, to speak the words but only a silent whisper fell out, lost to the wind that no one could hear. A silent whisper that stole the last wisp of smoke from the dying embers where fire could no longer burn.

"Sorry…"

(A finale, an end, and no second chance. The world moves on regardless of the choices you have made.)

A/N:

Hello and welcome to another milestone chapter!

First off, we have hit chapter 30 in Your World In Our Eyes and wow, 30 chapters and almost 100k words? That's a lot of words! Honestly, had it not been you guys encouraging me (whether it's a favourite, a follow, or a comment), it always motivate me to write more so thank you guys!

Secondly, this is a short chapter but most of the chapter contains a lot of my personal feelings. Mainly how I see myself vs others who are better than me in certain aspects. It's not a good feeling. Jealousy, feeling that you're just not good enough or you can never be good enough. I know that these are very normal feelings to have and you just can't help but compare yourself to people (and it really doesn't help when you're surrounded by people who compares you to everyone else). I wanted to convey how Teppei might have felt when he first meets the Traveller and how he was jealous of the Traveller being so much better than him. It also did not help that it seemed like everyone he knew was comparing him as well. In all honesty, I have never gotten over the feeling of inadequacy and I don't think I ever will because it's something that is part of my life since a young age (hooray Asian parenting). I have accepted that this is just going to be me now and that's fine. If I can't be what people want me to be then I won't.

Okay, rant over, I'll shut up now about that.

I want to thank all my readers again for sticking with me and I hope that you will continue to look forward to more chapters and stories to come. If you are interested, I have revived my twitter (wolfhunter7771) so you can drop me any questions you have on the story, suggestions on where I can improve, or just a friendly hi. I won't bite, promise!

With that, I will see you next time.