Yugioh

DUEL – a RENT parody

Disclaimer: Although I wish I owned the cast of Yugioh, sadly I do not. I've often asked myself, "If not the whole cast, then at least Malik. Yum." But alas. I also cannot be credited for RENT. Jonathan Larson (February 4, 1960 – January 25, 1996) created the plot, the characters, and the music. His sudden, unexpected death on the day before his dream came true is the stuff of tragedy.

Rating: R for language and adult content

Genre: Angst/Romance/Humor/Parody

Pairings: The pairings for this parody are as follow: Malik/Marik, Bakura/Ryou, Seto/Yami, and Anzu/Pegasus (whom you never see).

Summary: Anzu is Jou and Malik's former roommate. With the help of her wealthy brother-in-law, Anzu has bought the building in which Jou and Malik live, and the lot next door that is inhabited by a group of homeless people. Anzu wants to build a high-tech, cyber-dueling arena on the property. Toward this end, she plans to clear the homeless from the lot and evict all the tenants from the building, including Jou and Malik. Jou's former lover, Seto, schedules a duel protest of Anzu's scheme for midnight on Christmas Eve. Anzu offers a deal to Jou and Malik: if they can convince Seto to stop his duel, they can stay in the building rent-free.

The Cast and Notes

Roger Davis ... Malik Ishtar

Mark Cohen ... Katsuya Jounichi (Jou)

Tom Collins ... Yami Bakura

Benjamin Coffin III ... Anzu Mazaki

Joanne Jefferson ... Yami

Angel Schunard ... Ryou Bakura

Mimi Marquez ... Yami Marik

Maureen Johnson ... Seto Kaiba

Allison Grey-Coffin ... Pegasus (never seen)

Mark's mom ... Grandpa Mutou

Mr. Jefferson ... Shadi

Mrs. Jefferson ... Mana

Gordon ... Yugi Mutou

Steve ... Mokuba Kaiba

Paul ... Katsuya Shizuka

Alexi Darling ... Mai Kujaku

Roger's mom ... Isis Ishtar

Mr. Grey ... Hiroto Honda

Note: Un-named characters (such as cops and carolers) will be named only if they mention their own name in dialogue, but they are not listed above.

Also note: The gender of characters does not change because of their role (although Ryou is a drag queen...). The cast listed above is mostly for my benefit.

Also, also note: There is one character death in this play, but it was not my intention. So, please, no flames. Thank you.

ACT I

VOICE MAIL #1

MALIK AND JOU'S OUTGOING MESSAGE

"Speak" (Beeeep!)

GRANDPA

That was a very loud beep.

I don't even know if this is working.

Jou – Jou – are you there?

Are you screening your calls?

It's Gramps.

We wanted to call and say we love you

And we'll miss you tomorrow.

Michi and the kids are here – send

Their love.

Oh, I hope you like the hot plate.

Just don't leave it on, sport,

When you leave the house.

Oh and Jou,

We're sorry to hear that Kaiba

Dumped you.

I say c'est la vie.

So let him try some other boy.

There are other fishies in the sea.

Love, Grandpa.

(Lights fade on GRANDPA and the answering machine.)