Chapter 19: Why Do I Run Back To You Like I Don't Mind If You Fuck Up My Life?

A/N: Title Song: Monsters by All Time Low

Summary: Bucky and Chanel are both heading back to Riga, intending to confront their feelings for each other. At the same time, Stephan arrives in Riga to set his plan to get Chanel back into motion.

Stephan stepped out of his plane, his long black coat blowing in the wind. He took a deep breath of the fresh sea air and smiled a sinister smile. It was going to be a good day. Armed with lies and the violent videos of Chanel, he was going to take back what was his.

As he drove the short distance to Zemo's house, his mind was filled with rose-colored memories from the beginning of his relationship with Chanel. The first time they had sex, barely making it inside the house first, was passion, not lust; the moment he realized she actually did love him was romantic, not a screaming match over a woman he had been working with; this game of cat and mouse she was playing with him now was just her usual dramatics, not a sign that she didn't love him anymore.

His black car rolled to a stop in front of Zemo's house just as Bucky disappeared inside with Ayo.

Stephan slipped on his black leather gloves and loaded his pistol before tucking it into his coat. He grabbed the USB stick, holding it tight in his leather grip, and knocked on the front door.

"You don't give up, do you?" Sam answered the door, opening it just enough for Stephan to see his face.

Bucky stood behind him, arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

Stephan put his hands up. "I'm not here to cause trouble. You both know how much I care for Chanel. Something has happened, and I'm here to help."

Sam glanced back at Bucky; he could see the uncertainty in his eyes. If Chanel was in trouble, they had to know, but at what cost?

"What happened?" Sam asked suspiciously.

"Just let me come in and show you; it's the Power Broker."

"Let him in. You have 5 minutes." Bucky turned away and went back to the living room as Sam let Stephan in.

"Where is she?" Stephan looked around the expansive home for Chanel.

"She's not here."

Stephan ground his teeth in annoyance but continued on. "I need a laptop."

"Yeah, here." Sam handed Stephan his laptop. "Now, what's going on?"

Stephan sat on the couch and motioned for Bucky and Sam to join him. He inserted the USB and pulled up the first video of Chanel shooting Nicolo the night of the warehouse fire. He clicked play and got up from the couch, pacing around as Sam and Bucky watched.

"What is this?" Bucky asked, voice wavering.

"The Power Broker has these videos, and he's threatening to release them if we don't pay him back. There's more; click through them." Stephan continued pacing, running a hand through his golden hair—careful to look distressed but not mess his hair up too much.

Bucky hesitantly clicked on the next video and flinched when he watched Chanel administer painful cuts to a man tied to a chair.

Stephan grinned to himself at the reaction before putting his worried face back on. "This is partly my fault. I made the videos."

Bucky closed his eyes after the video of Chanel straddling a man's lap and slicing his throat in one fluid motion. He slammed the laptop closed, and before Sam could react, Bucky's hand was wrapped around Stephan's throat.

"What the fuck is this? Huh?!"

Stephan remained calm, enjoying the reaction he was getting. He glanced down at Bucky's vibranium hand that was balled into a fist.

Bucky caught the movement and guessed what Stephan was thinking. He leaned in closer to Stephan's face. "When I kill you, it'll be with my own flesh and blood," he flexed his fingers around Stephan's throat, "I want to feel the bones in your neck crack."

"So aggressive. No wonder Chanel likes you," Stephan smirked, "the bruises on her neck last time I was here—she asked you to do that, didn't she?" Stephan paused only long enough to watch Bucky's eyes get darker. "Yeah, she's a freak—part of the reason I fell in love with her so fast."

"Shut up," Bucky pushed him against the brick wall.

"Buck, calm down; he's messing with your head," Sam called from the other side of the room.

Bucky ignored him, his glare never leaving Stephan's repulsively perfect face.

"James, there are many things about Chanel that you could never understand. Do you know about the man she killed in America? The one who was drunk and killed her friend?"

Bucky squeezed his throat harder until Sam pulled him away.

"I'll take that as a no." Stephan rubbed his neck and put his hair back into place. "Well, the Power Broker knows," Stephan said as he caught his breath, "and he's threatening to expose Chanel for who she really is. Everything she's done will be out there for anyone to see. She'll get burned."

The thought of Chanel getting a burn notice that could land her in prison or worse caused a painful tightness in Bucky's chest. His brain was trying to process too much information, and he felt like he couldn't get enough air into his lungs. When he looked at Stephan again, his tall frame leaning casually against the wall, his hands in his coat pockets as he failed to keep the smirk off his face, Bucky's rage came rushing back.

"That's not who she really is! You used her; you did this! You turned her into a monster." Bucky was shaking with anger, the images of Chanel playing over and over in his mind.

"You need to leave; we'll protect her from now on. You don't need to concern yourself with her anymore." Sam edged Stephan back toward the door.

"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. And James?"

Bucky looked up, ready to leap across the room and rip his head off.

"You're welcome. For showing you who you're really messing with."

Sam pushed him outside and slammed the door before Bucky finished crossing the living room.

Stephan whistled as he walked back to his car. He was pleased with his lies, and although he didn't get the satisfaction of watching their faces as he took Chanel, it was good enough. He patiently sat in his car, waiting for Chanel to show up.

When Chanel and Zemo returned to Warsaw, Yelena was waiting for them. She met them on the tarmac with their luggage, and with hardly any convincing, she ended up joining them on the flight to Riga.

Once they landed, Chanel checked her watch. "It's still early. We have time for you both to help me shop for my surprise for Bucky. Yeah?"

Zemo nodded, pleased to have a few more hours with her.

They were laughing as they walked to Zemo's house. Chanel's hands were full of bags of groceries and decorations for the evening. She was nervous. So nervous, and all day she had been fighting the urge to call the whole thing off. As they got closer to Zemo's house, Chanel noticed Stephan leaning against a black car across the street.

"Shit, what's he doing here?" Chanel stopped in her tracks.

Zemo followed her gaze and frowned.

"Who's that?" Yelena asked.

"Don't worry about it. You guys go ahead, I'll catch up."

Zemo took the bags from her. "Are you sure?"

Chanel nodded and crossed the street. Yelena didn't like the way Chanel's and Zemo's moods had both shifted so suddenly. She followed behind Chanel as Zemo went inside the house.

"What are you doing here, Stephan?"

"Hello to you too." Stephan reached out to touch her, and she flinched back.

"What do you want?"

"Who's your new friend?"

Chanel turned around, "Yelena, I'm fine; go inside."

"No. I don't like him."

Chanel rolled her eyes and turned back to Stephan, who was smiling.

"I came to warn you and your friends that the world is about to know exactly who you are."

Chanel stared at him in confusion.

Stephan pulled up one of the videos on his cell phone and showed her. She looked away.

"Why do you have that?"

"Oh, Schatz, I have videos of everything you did for me." He cupped her face; he could tell she was trying not to cry. "Now, I owe you an apology."

He told her the same lie that he had told Sam and Bucky. The Power Broker didn't have the videos; no one but him did. But he needed her to come with him willingly.

Chanel bit her cheek to stop the quickly building tears; she could taste the blood in her mouth. "You—you showed them?"

"I had to; they needed to know what exactly the Power Broker has on you. And I'm sorry, but I had to tell them about the man you killed in America—the drunk."

She blinked away tears, quickly wiping them off her cheeks. Her world was crumbling beneath her feet, she was going under, and she wouldn't survive.

"What did—what did they say?" She whispered.

Stephan bowed his head in fake despair. "I'm sorry—"

"Steph, what did they say?!"

Stephan fought the smile on his lips as she said his nickname. "I didn't think you would believe me, so I recorded the conversation."

Stephan pressed play on the one snippet of the conversation he had saved—Bucky's voice loud and clear, "you did this! You turned her into a monster."

Chanel closed her eyes; she shouldn't be surprised; she knew—she knew the whole time that this would happen. She had known, and yet she let herself think she could possibly deserve better, that she could ever be deserving of Bucky.

"Schatz, we don't have time—we're sitting ducks here. We need to go back to Berlin where it's safe." Stephan gently held her face, wiping away her tears with his thumb. "Let me help you."

Chanel hesitated, looking toward Zemo's house briefly but eventually nodded and swallowed her tears before turning to Yelena. She took her necklace off and handed it to her along with her cell phone. "Tell them I left and I'm fine, and I'm sorry. Please give Helmut one last hug from me. Tell Buc—" she paused to stop from crying, "tell Bucky that I'm sorry I couldn't be who he needed me to be."

"Chanel—are you sure about this?"

Chanel nodded. "This is always how my story was going to end." She stuck out her hand. "Friends?"

Yelena wrapped her arms around Chanel and glared at Stephan. "You know how to reach me."

"Oh, and tell Helmut he can take the GPS tracker out of his boot now."

Yelena nodded and waited on the sidewalk as Chanel got into Stephan's car, and he sped away.

"Hello? Stranger walking in—don't shoot." Yelena found the group in Zemo's living room; they all looked on edge. Ayo and several other Dora Milaje stood against the wall guarding Zemo.

"Where's Chanel?" Zemo questioned. "Sam, Bucky, this is Yelena Belova. Sister to Natasha Romanoff."

"Excuse me? Sister?" Sam looked between Zemo and Yelena, who looked nothing like Natasha.

Bucky's curiosity was piqued too before he noticed Chanel's necklace in Yelena's hand.

"Why do you have that?" His voice was agitated as he quickly approached Yelena, making her flinch.

"She left. She told me to give this to you and tell you all that she's fine and she's sorry."

"What do you mean she left?" Sam asked, panicked.

Bucky had already run out the front door and halfway down the street as if he could find her.

Yelena handed Sam Chanel's cell phone. "She went with the tall, handsome German man."

"He took her?!"

"No, he didn't take her. She wanted to go. Zemo, she told me to tell you goodbye one last time, and I'm supposed to tell you to take the tracker out of your boot."

Zemo's face scrunched up in confusion and then amusement as he pulled the tracker out of the heel of his boot.

Yelena turned as Bucky came back into the house, on the verge of losing it. "Bucky—?"

Bucky crossed the room quickly and grabbed Yelena's shoulders. "Where did she go? Why did you let him take her?!"

"James—" Zemo started.

Bucky turned to him, just as furious. "Don't you start! This is just as much your fault!"

"Bucky, she wanted to go. He didn't force her." Yelena held the necklace out to him. "She said to tell you that she's sorry she couldn't be the person that you needed her to be."

Bucky's fight left his body, everything slumping as he took the necklace from Yelena. He sank onto the couch; suddenly, the room was too quiet.

Sam started pacing, already forming a plan. "Okay, so we know where they went. We just have to go get her. It's simple."

Bucky laughed shortly, and all heads turned to him. "Why? She made it very clear that she wanted to go."

"Buck, you don't mean that. You're not in your right mind." Sam tried to blow him off and started laying out his plan.

"No, I do. She doesn't want to be here. Let it go, Sam."

Zemo attempted to cross the room, but Ayo held him in place. He put his hands up. "I simply want to go slap some sense into James."

Ayo nudged him forward; it was evident to her that Bucky was one second away from a complete breakdown; she could already see the tears starting to rim his eyes.

"James—" Zemo said gently as he sat across from him.

"I don't want to hear it. You already knew this was going to happen."

Zemo lost his patience, leaning forward and grabbing Bucky's jacket collar, pulling him forward. "Quit being an ass. She loves you, you idiot!"

"Wha—what?" Bucky was stunned by Zemo's aggression. "No, she doesn't. She's made that painfully obvious."

Zemo stood up and dragged Bucky to the kitchen; Bucky had not seen him so pissed off in a long time. He let Bucky's collar go and started emptying the fridge, slamming items on the counter, and every once in a while throwing things in Bucky's direction.

The rest of the group slowly inched toward the kitchen to watch.

"Jesus, Zemo! What are you doing?!" Bucky snapped as he caught a bottle of fancy wine.

Zemo spun around and waved his hands over the items on the counter. "We did some shopping before coming here today. You know why?"

Bucky just stared at him in utter confusion.

"Because she was going to cook you dinner and decorate the house and kick the rest of us out so that she could tell you that she's in love with you!"

"I—are you serious?"

Zemo scoffed and nodded his head.

Yelena stepped forward, her finger raised to indicate she had something to add, "there was also mention of a blowjob, just throwing that in there."

Zemo flashed her an annoyed glance, and she stepped back behind Sam.

Zemo sighed and put his hands on Bucky's face. "Bucky, she loves you. I don't know what happened out there, but I know she loves you, and we have to go save her from that psychopath."

"I actually know what happened, if anyone cares."

"Yes, Yelena, please tell us."

"Thank you," Yelena stepped into the kitchen and gave Zemo a sarcastic bow. "He recorded you," she pointed at Bucky, "calling her a monster."

Bucky's face dropped. "I didn't—fuck, I didn't mean it like that."

Yelena shrugged, picking up a plum Zemo had thrown onto the counter and taking a bite. "That's what happened. She looked very hurt; that's why she left."

Bucky pulled at his hair in frustration. "Fuck! Sam, was this whole thing just a lie?"

Sam stepped forward, his face twisted with anger. "He played us, he played her. We should have realized."

"I have fucked this up so much. If I just would have told her what I overheard, she would have told that bastard to fuck off."

"Everything is going to be okay; we're going to get her back. Let me make a call." Sam left the kitchen and dialed Sharon's number.

Bucky was bent over the kitchen counter with his head in his hands, not sure if he wanted to cry or scream. The conflicting emotions he felt were overwhelming him. Hearing that she loved him back had made his heart soar, but now she was gone, and she hated him. What if he couldn't get her back?

Ayo cleared her throat, and everyone left the kitchen, leaving her alone with Bucky.

She tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder and waited for him to look up. "You truly love her—I could tell by the way you jumped in front of her when I threatened her."

"I do, I love her, and I fucked it up."

"You can still fix it. We will help you get her back—White Wolf."

Bucky stood up straight. "You will?"

Ayo nodded, "we protect our own. We can drop Zemo off at The Raft after she's safe with you."

"Thank you, thank you." Bucky breathed a sigh of relief as Sam came back into the room.

"Slight problem." Sam waited until everyone had gathered back around. "Sharon got some intel for me. Stephan has beefed up security around the Berlin villa pretty extensively. We can't just waltz in there and take her."

"What do we do?" Bucky's jaw was tight, fearing the worst.

"Sharon needs a few days to get us some more information," Sam held up his hand to stop Bucky's protest. "I know, Buck, but unless we all want to die, we need to give Sharon time to help."

"Fine, I trust you, Sam."

"This will give us time to gear up and plan an efficient entrance and exit strategy."

"I'm glad I tagged along now; this will be fun." Yelena threw back a shot of vodka.

Sam and Bucky exchanged a slightly amused glance, they didn't see the resemblance to Natasha, but they could tell that Yelena and Chanel were definitely friends.

The gang split up, everyone had their orders for the next couple of days while they waited on Sharon's intel, but at the moment, there was nothing for them to do but wait. They were all awkwardly shuffling around Bucky, afraid to relax in his presence. He finally caught on and retired to his room so that they could all chill out. He sat on the bed and rubbed his thumb over the sun charm on Chanel's necklace. He would save her, and he would make things right between them. He had no other choice; he wouldn't survive otherwise.

Chanel stared out the window of Stephan's car as he drove away from Zemo's house, her heart shattering as Bucky's words replayed in her head.

How could I have been so stupid?

Stephan didn't say anything as she silently cried. He knew he would have to be patient and let her get over the friends she left behind. He reached over the console and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Chanel looked up at him, his eyes were focused on the road, but she could tell he was concerned about her. She squeezed his hand back and tried to stop crying.

He's been an ass, but it's because he loves me…

Stephan stopped the car on the tarmac and helped her out of the vehicle. "Are you sure about this Schatz?" He wiped the tear streaks off her cheeks.

Chanel swallowed her doubt and nodded. "Take me home, Steph."

Stephan pulled her into a hug as a smug smile stretched across his face.

After the plane took off, Chanel moved from her seat and sat in Stephan's lap. "I'm so sorry, Steph," she whispered as she tucked her head into his neck.

Stephan lifted her chin to look her in the eyes. "I forgive you; you just got confused. And I'm glad you left because now you know—this is where you belong."

Chanel opened her mouth to speak, but Stephan shushed her. "All that matters now is that we're together."

Chanel nodded; she wanted to force herself to be okay with this, but the ache in her chest was too intense, and the tears wouldn't stop.

"It's okay, Schatz. You're hurt; you can cry." Stephan wrapped his arms around her, and she cried against his shoulder until she fell asleep.

2 Weeks Later.

The intel from Sharon had taken longer to gather than Sam had anticipated. He had barely been able to contain Bucky to the house. If Ayo hadn't stayed and scared Bucky into staying put, Sam was sure that Bucky would have gone on a one-man rescue mission a long time ago.

Bucky had been close to the end of his rope. He had spent the past two weeks going from being so angry that everyone in the house avoided him to being so depressed that he couldn't get up. He never let go of Chanel's necklace, rubbing the sun charm when he got anxious.

God, I wish I could take meds for this shit.

The pit of dread and sadness in his stomach was hard to shake off on his own, and his super-soldier body was just as unaffected by medication as it was by alcohol. He didn't eat, he barely slept, and when he did, his nightmares were worse than ever. His mind was coming up with every worst-case scenario for what was happening to Chanel while he sat on his ass in Zemo's house.

After the first few days with no intel, he started to get angry with Sharon; he didn't understand what was taking so long. As a week stretched into two, he grew suspicious. He knew Chanel and Sharon didn't like each other, and Sharon didn't like him.

Is she doing this on purpose?

Did she set Chanel up in Monaco?

Sam wouldn't listen to him, insisting that he just wasn't thinking straight, which is why Sam hadn't told him that Sharon was coming over.

Bucky was lying on the floor in his room, even though it was midday, the unwatched tv droning in the background. When he heard Sharon's voice, he sat up quickly and ran to the living room. For the first time since Chanel left, he was hopeful that they would finally have some good news.

"Sharon, what's going on? Do you have something for us?" Bucky's voice was frantic, so were his eyes as he searched Sharon's face for a clue to the reason for her visit.

Sharon leaned back on the couch, much more relaxed than anyone else in the room; she had the audacity to smile at him. It wasn't a kind smile; it was an, I find your situation amusing, and I'm enjoying it, smile. She looked at the necklace he was gripping in his hand and almost laughed.

"You can't say hello?"

Bucky turned slightly as Zemo suddenly appeared behind him, his hand on Bucky's elbow to prevent him from knocking the smile off Sharon's face.

"We need her," Zemo whispered. "Come on, let Sam deal with her."

Bucky gave Sharon a withering glare before letting Zemo lead him into the master bedroom.

"I don't trust her—we have to—" Bucky stopped talking when Zemo held up his hand. "What?"

"I don't trust her either, but we need her if we want to get Chanel out safely. Come sit down; you look exhausted."

Bucky didn't make it to the chairs by the window; he sank down onto the settee in front of Zemo's bed. Zemo studied him for a moment, trying to decipher what he needed—should he make him tea? Food? Did he want to be left alone? Finally, he decided to sit next to him. They didn't speak; Bucky didn't even look up when Zemo sat down. But he stiffened when Zemo's arm wrapped around his shoulders, his hand gently rubbing Bucky's left shoulder. When Bucky relaxed into his touch, Zemo spoke.

"I'm worried for her too," he whispered.

"Every time I close my eyes, I see him hurting her or worse," Bucky's voice shook as he spoke.

"She's a strong wom—"

"He's a super-soldier! She doesn't stand a fucking chance."

"Shh," Zemo unconsciously moved his hand to Bucky's neck, massing it and his scalp, something he used to do for his wife when she was stressed. "It's going to be okay."

Bucky couldn't stop the tears that started falling the second he felt Zemo's fingers on his scalp. He had been craving this kind of comfort but would never ask for it. He was always the one who took care of others, who told everyone else he had them and it was going to be okay. He wanted to be taken care of and, for once, have someone tell him that everything would be alright.

"I'm sorry," Bucky sniffled.

"Don't be sorry; you're safe here," Zemo encouraged.

"I just—if anything happens to her, I'll never forgive myself."

"This isn't your fault, Bucky. It isn't."

Zemo wrapped his other arm around him and let Bucky lay his head on his chest. Bucky wrapped his arms around Zemo and cried as Zemo continued running his fingers over his scalp and telling him it was all going to be okay.

A/N: So….how are we all feeling? Next chapter coming on Wednesday!