Yugioh

DUEL – a RENT parody

Disclaimer: Although I wish I owned the cast of Yugioh, sadly I do not. I've often asked myself, "If not the whole cast, then at least Malik. Yum." But alas. I also cannot be credited for RENT. Jonathan Larson (February 4, 1960 – January 25, 1996) created the plot, the characters, and the music. His sudden, unexpected death on the day before his dream came true is the stuff of tragedy.

Rating: R for language and adult content

Genre: Angst/Romance/Humor

Pairings: The pairings for this parody are as follow: Malik/Marik, Bakura/Ryou, Seto/Yami, and Anzu/Pegasus (whom you never see).

Summary: Anzu is Jou and Malik's former roommate. With the help of her wealthy brother-in-law, Anzu has bought the building in which Jou and Malik live, and the lot next door that is inhabited by a group of homeless people. Anzu wants to build a high-tech, cyber-dueling arena on the property. Toward this end, she plans to clear the homeless from the lot and evict all the tenants from the building, including Jou and Malik. Jou's former lover, Seto, schedules a duel protest of Anzu's scheme for midnight on Christmas Eve. Anzu offers a deal to Jou and Malik: if they can convince Seto to stop his duel, they can stay in the building rent-free.

The Cast and Notes

Roger Davis ... Malik Ishtar

Mark Cohen ... Katsuya Jounichi (Jou)

Tom Collins ... Yami Bakura

Benjamin Coffin III ... Anzu Mazaki

Joanne Jefferson ... Yami

Angel Schunard ... Ryou Bakura

Mimi Marquez ... Yami Marik

Maureen Johnson ... Seto Kaiba

Allison Grey-Coffin ... Pegasus (never seen)

Mark's mom ... Grandpa Mutou

Mr. Jefferson ... Shadi

Mrs. Jefferson ... Mana

Gordon ... Yugi Mutou

Steve ... Mokuba Kaiba

Paul ... Katsuya Shizuka

Alexi Darling ... Mai Kujaku

Roger's mom ... Isis Ishtar

Mr. Grey ... Hiroto Honda

Note: Un-named characters (such as cops and carolers) will be named only if they mention their own name in dialogue, but they are not listed above.

Also note: The gender of characters does not change because of their role (although Ryou is a drag queen...). The cast listed above is mostly for my benefit.

Also, also note: There is one character death in this play, but it was not my intention. So, please, no flames. Thank you.

ACT I

TUNE UP #3

(Lights come up on the loft.)

MALIK

Where are you going?

JOU

Seto calls...

MALIK

You're such a sucker!

JOU

I don't suppose you'd like to see his duel in the lot tonight? (MALIK shrugs) Or come to dinner?

MALIK

Zoom in on my empty wallet.

JOU

Touché. Take your AZT.

Close on Marik.

His girlfriend, Ami,

Left a note saying "We've got AIDS"

Before slitting his wrists in the

Bathroom.

(JOU exits.)

MALIK

I'm writing one great song before I...