Chapter 21: Tired of Runnin'...Now I'm Runnin' With You

Summary:

Bucky and Chanel travel to Wakanda to heal Chanel and connect with each other.

Notes:

Title song: Positions by Ariana Grande

I hope you all enjoy this one, it's a little different!

Warnings: There is a reference to The Eternals it's not really a spoiler though.

Bucky looked over at Chanel in his peripheral vision. She sat in the co-pilot seat, her legs curled up underneath her while she fiddled with the shredded hem of her dress.

"Are you okay, doll?"

He had half expected her to make good on her non-promise to Yelena, but she had been quiet since they took off.

"Yeah, just a lot on my mind." Chanel offered him a small smile.

Her gaze dropped back down to her hands, and Bucky looked at her closer. A tiny U-shaped furrow sat between her eyebrows.

"I'm sorry about Stephan," Bucky whispered hesitantly.

Chanel looked up and then quickly looked away from him.

I will not cry over him in front of Bucky–I won't.

Once she had suppressed the tears, she turned back to him. "Me too, but–it's for the best."

Bucky started to reply, but Chanel cut him off, needing to change the subject. "I've just realized that I'm still wearing half of a ripped-up gown and Yelena's extra boots...I can't go to Wakanda looking like this."

"I really don't think they're going to care, doll. It'll be late when we get there; you're only going to see Shuri and Banner."

"Oh, just the fucking queen of the whole goddamn country."

"I promise you, she's not going to care. Maybe try and watch the language around her, though."

"Bucky," Chanel whined.

"I'll buy you all the clothes you want after they get this poison out of your veins."

"Fine," Chanel huffed.

"You do want the antidote right?"

"Of course I do," Chanel sat up, "I–when I was fighting Stephan–I almost couldn't stop."

"But you did."

Chanel looked down at her nails, her voice getting smaller. "But what if I can't stop next time?"

Bucky nodded and rubbed her thigh affectionately. "Everything is going to be okay, I promise."

Chanel wrung her hands as she and Bucky followed Ayo through the palace. Everything was more grand and beautiful than she had imagined. Bucky noticed her fidgeting and offered his hand. She held onto it tightly, feeling like an intruder in this place of regality. Her mind and body froze when Shuri and Banner walked around a corner just ahead of them. Their heads were down, looking over papers and deep in discussion.

Ayo paused and cleared her throat to get Shuri's attention. "Your guests, my queen."

Ayo stepped to the side as Shuri leaped over to them, wrapping Bucky in a quick hug.

Chanel shrunk back, trying to hide behind Bucky, her attire making her even more nervous than she would have usually been.

Shuri scanned her from head to toe and smiled at her nervousness before turning to Ayo with a laugh. "This is the woman who got the best of you?"

Ayo rolled her eyes as Shuri turned back to Chanel and hugged her. "I've heard a lot about you already."

Chanel twisted her hair around her fingers nervously, assuming Shuri referred to her friendship with the man responsible for her father's death. "I'm sure you have, I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry–"

"No apologies needed, come on, let's go before Bucky has an aneurysm." Shuri grabbed Chanel's hand and pulled her away from an impatient Bucky, leading her to the lab.

Chanel glanced back at Bucky, and he gave her an encouraging smile.

"Don't be nervous; you are welcome here." Shuri patted her hand. "Now, let's see what we can do about getting this serum out of you. And maybe find you some new clothes."

Bucky paced around anxiously outside of Shuri's lab. She had kicked him out an hour ago, claiming it was impossible to work with his hovering. He trusted her and Banner, but neither of them had done this before; they didn't know what to expect.

Bucky looked up as Banner exited the lab with a look on his face that made Bucky frown.

"Hey, wanna go for a walk?"

"What's wrong?" Bucky tried to push past Bruce to get to the door.

Bruce grabbed his shoulders. "Everything is fine, but she's experiencing some pain. We think as the serum leaves her system, it's just going to get worse, and you don't need to be around—"

The cry wasn't loud enough for anyone outside of the lab to hear, but the pained sound easily found Bucky's sensitive ears. He pushed past Bruce and forced his way into the lab. Shuri was holding Chanel's hand; they had changed her into pants and a t-shirt that was now soaked through with sweat as Chanel tried not to scream.

"What are you doing here—" Shuri started as Bucky moved her out of the way.

"Just let me help. Can't you give her something?" Bucky grabbed Chanel's hand and winced at how hard she squeezed it.

Shuri shook her head as Chanel screamed, no longer able to hold it in.

"I'm sorry—she'll be okay. It just has to pass." Shuri busied herself checking the heart monitors with Bruce.

Bucky didn't know what to do; he knelt down, still holding her hand tightly. "It's going to be okay; I'm here," he whispered in Chanel's ear.

Each scream that left her lungs stabbed him in the heart. "Shuri!"

"I know, I know!"

He was trying not to cry, but the tears slipped down his face anyway–he had no idea it would be like this.

Should I have left it alone?

If Stephan wasn't already dead, he would have killed him–he wouldn't have been able to stop himself.

Shuri moved to another computer and sighed with relief. "It's almost done, brother. Her heart rate is slowing down."

"Thank god, Chanel, it's almost over; you're going to be okay."

Chanel turned her head, the pain subsiding enough for her to speak. "I'm okay, Buck, don't cry."

Bucky smiled through his tears and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

"I told Shuri to get you out of here–stubborn."

"I wasn't going to leave you," Bucky gently moved her hair out of her face, "can I kiss you?"

Chanel nodded, sitting up to meet him halfway.

"Okay, okay, not in my lab." Shuri left her computer and took the heart monitors off of Chanel. "I expect you'll feel pretty weird for a bit."

Bruce brought Chanel a cold glass of water. "You should probably rest."

Chanel nodded and tried to stand up; her legs didn't feel like they belonged to her.

"Careful," Bucky caught her and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"It would be best if you stayed here for observation—"

"Shuri," Bucky snapped.

"Fine, fine," Shuri groused. "Before you leave, I would like to get a blood sample; it'll help us improve the antidote." Shuri looked at Chanel expectantly.

"Can we do it tomorrow?"

"Of course, go rest."

"Thank you, both of you."

Bucky helped Chanel walk, but halfway to the guest room, she gave up and let him carry her the rest of the way.

Bucky sat her gently on the bed. "Do you want me to get you some food before you sleep?"

Chanel shook her head, too tired to do anything. "I'm so tired—but I really want to take a shower."

"How about a quick bath?"

Chanel nodded sleepily, and Bucky kissed her forehead before running her bath. She was practically asleep as he bathed and dressed her. He laid her on the bed, and she was unconscious before he even covered her with the blanket.

After his own shower, he joined her in the bed, careful to not disturb her, though he didn't think anything could wake her up. Relief surged through him as he watched her sleep. She was finally safe, and he could breathe again.

His cell phone rang, Yelena's name on the screen. Bucky quietly got out of bed and left the room.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"He's up—"

"You just left me here?!" Sam's voice yelled in the background.

"And he's fine," Yelena continued.

"I can tell," Bucky laughed. "Can I talk to him?"

Bucky waited as Yelena gave Sam the phone.

"I can't believe y'all left me here."

"We waited until you were out of surgery. How's your leg?"

"It'll be fine. Yelena told me where you went; how's Chanel?"

"She's going to be okay. She's passed out now; it was a lot. Painful."

"I'm glad it worked; I can't believe the bastard did that to her."

"Did Yelena tell you what happened?"

"Yeah, I was shocked it was Manfred."

Bucky rubbed his hand over his face. "I don't feel bad that he's gone. Is that horrible?"

"I don't think any of us are cut up over it, Buck."

"Chanel is," Bucky whispered.

"She's been through a lot in the past 24 hours. Just be there for her; she'll be okay."

"Yeah, of course."

"Yelena's flying me home tomorrow. You and Chanel can come when you're ready. Maybe in time for Christmas."

"Alright, Sam. Get some rest, see you soon."

"Bye, brother."

Bucky, finally feeling exhausted himself, hung up the phone and slid under the comforter. The sun started to rise as he drifted to sleep, finally feeling peaceful enough to slip into a dreamless slumber.

It was the middle of the night when Chanel woke up, disoriented. She panicked for a brief moment, thinking she was still in Stephan's house. But when she turned onto her side, she saw Bucky, and everything was okay. He was sitting up in the bed, a small lamp lighting up a file he was holding.

"Hey," Chanel yawned.

Bucky turned to her with a soft smile. "Hey, don't get up; it's late."

Chanel stretched and moved closer to him, snuggling against his torso. "I can't believe I slept so long. Why are you up?"

Bucky ran his thumb over the file in his hands; he still hadn't opened it. "Just a lot on my mind."

"What's that?" Chanel sat up, looking at the file.

Bucky started to argue that she should get more rest, but she was insistent. "Um, Shuri said it's family if I want it."

"Family?"

Bucky gently threw the file on the other side of the bed and laid his head in Chanel's lap. She knew immediately what he wanted and started carding her fingers through his hair. "What is it, Buck?"

Bucky's voice was small when he started talking again. "I had four sisters—I was the oldest."

The thin line Bucky's lips were pressed into told Chanel this was hard for him to talk about; her free hand started rubbing circles on his arm.

"Rebecca, Mary, Linda, and Betty." Bucky smiled faintly. "They were a pain, but I loved them, of course. They were young when I left for the war. I never got to see them grow up, never got to intimidate the boys they would have brought home, never got to see them start their first job, get married, nothing. I always wondered if they knew about me, you know before they—passed. And what would they have thought?"

"They would have been proud of you," Chanel whispered as she wiped a lone tear off his cheek.

Bucky turned to look at her, pulling her hand to his chest and holding it there. "Shuri figured I would have some extended family around somewhere, and she found them. She said they wanted to see me. But—so much time has passed. Will they even know my sisters? Do you know what I mean? I feel like I'd just be walking into a room full of strangers."

"I know what you mean." Chanel chewed her lip, debating if she should say what she really felt. "But, if I was handed a file and told I had family wanting to see me—I wouldn't hesitate to open it."

Bucky immediately realized his mistake and sat up. "I'm sorry—"

"No, no, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm just—jealous. Sorry, that's really shitty."

"Doll, you don't have to apologize for how you feel." Bucky kissed her forehead.

Chanel squeezed his hand encouragingly. "I'm here for you; if you want to open it, I'll open it with you. If you want to burn it, I'll find a lighter. If you want to put it away until you're ready, I'll wait with you."

"Have I told you how in love with you I am?" Bucky gently kissed her face, his lips traveling toward hers.

"You may have mentioned it," Chanel smiled and turned her head to catch his lips.

"The moment I saw you, standing there outside of Sam's building like a fucking angel, I knew I wanted you." Bucky traced his finger over her lips as he laid her back onto the bed.

"Yeah?" Chanel whispered.

Bucky leaned in to kiss her jaw. "And the more time I spent with you, the more I needed you–craved you." His lips moved to her neck. "You're smart, you're fearless, you're funny, and you make me feel like—like everything is going to be okay, as long as I'm with you."

Bucky planted kisses along her collarbones as he talked, smiling to himself as he listened to Chanel's heart race.

"Bucky—I—fuck I can't think when you're doing that," Chanel sighed and ran her hands through his hair.

"You don't have to think; just listen. I've wanted to say these things to you for so long." Chanel nodded, still unable to form words. He was intoxicating, his scent enveloped her, and he was so large and warm on top of her—she never wanted to get up.

"The night you woke me up from my nightmare…." Bucky sat up to look into her eyes. "God, I was so in love with you. You should have hated me–for many reasons, but you didn't. You touched me like I mattered—and I wanted you to know me, to know everything about me."

Chanel sat up and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I want you to know me too, Buck. I'm not as good at this as you are—" Chanel leaned back to clear her head, trying to find the words to express her feelings. "I never expected this. I thought you'd be a good fuck—which you were—" Chanel grinned as Bucky rolled his eyes. "But I never expected to become friends with you, to feel safe with you, and I never expected to want to spend every moment of my day with you, to want to wake up next to you every morning…." Chanel's face flushed as she got more and more flustered. "Fuck, you make me want to do shit I've never done before—I want to cook and clean for you like a 50s housewife, I wanna go out of my way to do things that will make you smile, and I wanna do cute coupley shit like have a picnic in the park or—"

Chanel laughed as Bucky pulled her back to his lips. She let her body melt against his, taking time to savor the taste of his lips and the feeling of his tongue in her mouth.

Bucky pulled away, breathless. "You're everything to me, Chanel. Everything."

Chanel bit her lip, fighting the smile spreading across her face. "Okay, you don't have to keep talking; I'm already in the bed with you."

Bucky chuckled and kissed her again before standing up. "Maybe later; you need to eat."

Chanel frowned but couldn't deny the emptiness of her stomach. "Okay, fine, but quickly."

Chanel looked through the clothes Shuri had left for her, throwing on a plain shirt and sweats. "Hey, Buck. Do you happen to still have my necklace?"

Bucky smiled as he retrieved her sun necklace from his bag. "I never let it go." He kissed her neck after returning the jewelry to its rightful place.

After getting her to eat something, Bucky took Chanel to one of the palace's many gardens. The stars were visible for miles, and the sweet scent of lavender and roses surrounded them.

"This is beautiful, Buck," Chanel said in awe.

Bucky stared at her, bathed in moonlight and beaming like she had never seen stars before tonight–at least not like this. He shrugged out of his jacket and laid it on the grass.

"Let's stay for a bit, yeah?" Bucky sat down in the soft grass and tugged on her hand.

Chanel laid back, her top half against the warm leather of his jacket and her bottom half in the cold grass. She smiled when he reached out for her hand, such a simple gesture that made her want to giggle like a schoolgirl.

"So, do you bring all your dates here?" Chanel disguised her genuine curiosity with a teasing smile.

Bucky let out a short laugh, "oh yes, the long list of women I've dated–they've all been here, laying on this same jacket."

Chanel shoved his side. "Seriously–we've never talked about it. Your dating history."

Bucky turned on his side to look at her. "I used to come here alone, after appointments with Shuri–which were always draining and depressing. Not her fault–but having someone poke and prod at you and make comments about how fucked up your brain pictures or whatever she calls them are–this was my refuge." Bucky laid on his back. "And I don't have much of a dating history–my last relationship was in 1941, which ended because of the war. Of course, there were a few casual hookups but nothing serious."

"So there's no hundred-year-old dame somewhere waiting on you?"

Chanel felt Bucky shake with laughter next to her.

"Not a chance, doll."

"Good, because I'm not above fighting a senior citizen."

"You're ridiculous." Bucky pulled her closer to him; he couldn't keep his hands off of her. He was thrilled to be able to touch her whenever he wanted now, and he never wanted to let her go.

"I actually came out here earlier while you were sleeping–I–"

Chanel twisted her neck to look at his face. "What is it?"

Bucky swallowed his embarrassment and continued on. "I felt the stupid need to call my therapist and tell her–about you, and I don't know, I thought she'd be excited–tell me that I was getting better."

Chanel sat up on her elbows. "She didn't?"

"No," Bucky laughed humorlessly. "She told me I was avoiding dealing with my problems–she asked about the stupid amends." Bucky paused to let out a frustrated breath. "She said I was hiding and not taking responsibility for my actions."

Chanel sat up completely and looked at him in disbelief. "What a fucking bitch. Are you serious?!"

"She's kind of right–going on this mission with Sam was a distraction. I told you–I couldn't face any more of them."

"That goddamn bitch–I–Bucky," Chanel hovered over him, her hands caressing his face. "You don't owe anyone a goddamn thing. I get that you feel responsible, and I wish I could take those memories away from you because they're not your memories. Don't forget that you are the victim here–if you want to make amends, do it because you want to, to make yourself feel better."

Rather than argue or dismiss her, Bucky laid there quietly, digesting what she said. Chanel laid on his chest, still grumbling about how this woman even got licensed. Bucky massaged the back of her neck until he felt the tension lessen.

"I want to believe what you said–it's just not that easy."

"Give it time, be kind to yourself–patient. I sound like a hypocrite but, trust me, it'll work."

"I'll try if you do."

Chanel nodded against his chest, and they fell into a comfortable silence, once again staring at the beauty above them.

Bucky noticed Chanel's shuffling–she was starting to get uncomfortable on the ground. "Wanna go for a walk around the palace? It's peaceful and just as beautiful at night as it is during the day."

"Show me everything," Chanel jumped up and pulled him off the ground.

Bucky showed her artwork, artifacts, technology she couldn't have dreamt of, and finally one of his favorite places in the palace–a hidden alcove near the throne room.

"T'Challa and I spent a lot of time here, mostly when he needed an escape from the council meetings."

Chanel sat on the large windowsill and stared out into the darkness until Bucky sat next to her.

"Buck, I know you already know, but can I tell you about Cameron? I just-I want to actually tell you when I know you're listening."

"Of course, doll." Bucky moved closer to her. "I'm sorry again about that."

Chanel took a deep breath and told him the story; saying it to his face felt so different than just knowing he knew. Laying her soul bare before him and being accepted–loved–it was everything she had been yearning for her whole life.

Bucky listened patiently, wiping her tears and holding her close when she was done.

"Thank you for telling me."

Chanel hugged him tightly. "I told Helmut because it was safe. I was so afraid that you would look at me differently. That you wouldn't want me anymore, and I couldn't handle the thought of losing you."

Bucky pulled out of the hug and tilted her chin up. "I love you, Chanel. Nothing is going to change that."

He kissed her, and she didn't let him pull back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and forced her tongue into his mouth–needy and desperate.

Bucky's hands found her hips and gently pushed her away. "Should we go back to the room?"

Chanel nodded breathlessly and led the way.

Chanel frowned as Bucky disappeared into the bathroom, claiming he needed to take a shower first. She laid on the bed, waiting impatiently for him to return.

She used the time to check in with Lemar, who was recovering at home with his family. She sent him a picture of the Wakanda night sky, and he sent back a selfie showing off his neck brace—signed by many adoring fans.

Finally, Bucky emerged, in his boxers and freshly blow-dried hair

"Took you long enough," Chanel teased as she threw her phone down.

Bucky sat on his side of the bed against the headboard, and Chanel climbed into his lap to kiss him.

"Doll, are you sure you don't need to get some more sleep?"

Chanel sat back. "What's going on, Bucky?"

"Nothing. Nothing's going on."

Chanel pursed her lips. "Then why are you trying to make me go to sleep when I clearly want to fuck you?"

Bucky licked his lips nervously.

"Bucky," Chanel pleaded.

"Okay, it sounds dumb. But I'm—nervous."

"Nervous?"

"It's—it feels different now that we're together. I don't want to just have sex with you."

"Oh, Bucky, you don't need to be nervous." Chanel leaned back in and kissed him slowly. "You think too much. I just need you." She kissed him again. "Need you so bad, baby."

Bucky grabbed her hips and flipped her over. He stared into her pleading eyes and felt his nerves disappear. "I got you, doll." Bucky leaned back down and kissed her from head to toe as he stripped her of her clothes, making sure that his tongue caressed every inch of her skin.

He slowly spread her legs apart and moaned at the sight of her dripping center.

"Oh—oh fuck!" Chanel shuddered as Bucky slowly but forcefully shoved his tongue inside her, the same way he did when he kissed her.

Chanel grabbed a handful of his hair, and he groaned, moving his mouth faster.

"Right there, baby. You feel so good," Chanel panted.

As Chanel felt her legs start to shake and her heart threaten to beat right out of her chest, she finally realized why the sex was always so good. The love Bucky felt for her was pouring out of him—their souls intertwining as he took her to heaven and back.

One orgasm wasn't enough for him; he never ceased the movements of his tongue and fingers.

"Too much—I can't," Chanel whined and tried to squirm away from the blinding pleasure.

Bucky grabbed her hips and pulled her back to his hungry mouth. "Give me one more, doll. Taste like fucking candy—gonna stay right here all night."

Chanel whimpered again, surrendering to him—as if she had a choice.

"I'm close, fu—fuck!"

Bucky moaned as she chanted his name and rode her high out against his tongue.

He hovered over her, kissing up her neck. "Such a good girl," he groaned in her ear.

Chanel couldn't respond; he hadn't said that to her since Monaco, and it made her whole body tingle with desire. All she could do was grab his face and kiss him fiercely.

"Make love to me, Bucky. Need you," Chanel whispered against his lips.

"Need you too," Bucky whispered back as he moved her to the pillows.

Chanel's mouth dropped open in a silent moan as Bucky slowly entered her.

"Open your eyes, doll," Bucky gasped as he bottomed out in her tight wet heat.

Chanel's eyes fluttered open, and she clenched around him at the sight of the love she saw in his eyes.

"I love you," she whispered.

Bucky closed his eyes in pleasure, trying not to come just from her words. "I love you too," he huffed out as he started slowly rocking his hips in and out of her.

Chanel clung to his back, feeling his muscles contract as he thrusted deep and slow into her. Every thrust was hitting her sweet spot just right, and she couldn't stop the noises coming out of her mouth. She didn't even need him to speed up; the frustrated huff of breath he let out against her neck, his sweat sticking to her chest, his whispered I love you's against her skin were enough to take her right to the edge.

"Gonna come for you, Buck." Chanel twisted one hand into his hair while the other clawed at his back.

"Let go, doll. Wanna feel you." Bucky sped up his thrusts just slightly, and she crumbled underneath him.

Bucky sat up to watch her face as she came for him. "So fucking beautiful."

He couldn't hold back anymore; he pulled her up and kissed her needily as he bounced her on his cock.

"You gonna come for me, baby?" Chanel pulled his hair, making him groan against her lips.

"Fuck, yes," he gasped as he moved her hips faster. "You're so beautiful. Can't believe you're mine."

Chanel groaned and pulled his hair again, harder this time. Bucky fought the desire to hide his face in the crook of her neck, staring into her adoring eyes as he experienced the pleasure only her body could give him.

Still trying to catch his breath, Bucky gently grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her deeply. "I love you so much."

"I can tell; that was the best sex we've had so far," Chanel grinned as she kissed him again. "Love you too."

Chanel laid across Bucky's chest as she continued to bask in her high. His hand roamed from her hair to the curve of her ass and back again. Neither of them wanted to move, and they had no reason to. They stayed there and soaked up each other's presence like a drug.

Eventually, Chanel lifted her head to look at him. "Are you asleep?"

"No, just resting my eyes."

"So almost asleep," Chanel snickered.

The package of condoms that Bucky left on the nightstand caught Chanel's attention–she hadn't even thought about where he had gotten one. She reached for the box–the writing in a language she couldn't read.

"Think these are made of vibranium?"

Bucky opened one eye and snorted when he saw what she was holding. "Maybe."

Chanel sat the box back down and scratched Bucky's bearded chin. "You look nice like this–at peace. How long are we staying here?"

"Not sure–Sam wants us to come for Christmas, though."

"I know you and Sam still have unfinished business with the Flag Smashers–but do you think we could just take a break? You deserve it; I need it. I think the world can survive without us for a bit, yeah?"

Bucky gently caressed her back with a smile on his face. "I think you're right."

"Promise? No work until after the holidays?"

Bucky held up his vibranium pinky finger. "Promise."

Chanel intertwined her finger with his before reaching for the box on the nightstand as Bucky showered her in kisses.

After they tuckered themselves out and Bucky was snoring softly, Chanel slipped out of bed and locked herself in the bathroom. She already felt guilty before she even unlocked her phone. She searched the web for any news on Stephan's death; she just wanted to see his face. Maybe that would make the ache in her heart go away.

Of course, it didn't.

God, I need a fucking drink.

Her tears hit her phone screen as she scrolled with shaky hands, pausing on an article about the funeral. There was a picture of his mother, in all black, her ash blonde hair pulled back into a tight bun. Large shades covered her face, but her distinct displeased frown was still intact. A sob left Chanel's chest, her mind flooding with memories of the first time she had met Sofie, the only person in Stephan's family that he had a positive relationship with. She had been hard to win over; the fact that she came over unannounced and saw more of Chanel than she had cared to didn't help. But, in the end, Sofie was happy when Stephan was happy. The last time Chanel had seen her, Sofie told her she was the daughter she always wanted–causing Stephan's older sister to storm out of the party.

Why can't I just hate him?

I love Bucky–why isn't that enough? Why do I have to miss Stephan too?

And why is there no alcohol in here?!

Chanel jolted up off the floor and out of her wallowing when the tremors started, shaking the entire palace. She lurched for the door and ran to Bucky's side just as he shot up in a panic.

"It's okay, Buck," Chanel grabbed his hand before he jumped out of bed. "It's just an earthquake." She placed her other hand on his chest.

As quickly as it started, it was over, and Chanel coaxed Bucky back to sleep. She held him close and willed this feeling–her total adoration of him—to be enough to kick Stephan's memories out of her heart.

The next morning Chanel turned on the news, hoping to catch more about Walker's dismissal from the Captain America duties. But instead found that every channel was covering the earthquake they had experienced. Chanel frowned and called Bucky into the room.

He came in with his toothbrush still in his mouth. "What's up?"

"Look," Chanel pointed to the tv. "Apparently, the earthquake was felt around the world at the exact same time."

Bucky's brows furrowed in worry, he quickly rinsed his mouth and sat next to Chanel on the bed.

"Who are those guys? And what the hell are they fighting?" Chanel asked while they watched shaky cellphone footage of what appeared to be enhanced individuals fighting some type of monster.

"I have no idea," Bucky muttered.

"Holy shit," Chanel leaned in closer to the tv as one of the enhanced individuals shot lasers out of his eyes. "He looks just like you, Bucky."

"What?" Bucky scoffed. "No, he doesn't."

"Look!" Chanel paused the tv and stood up, gesturing at the screen. "I'm pretty sure you have this exact coat."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Okay, I guess he looks a little like me." Bucky started the tv again. "I should probably call Sam and go talk to Shuri."

Chanel didn't like the worried look on his face—she grabbed the remote and turned the tv off, and then snatched his phone out of his hand.

"Doll, this is serious—"

"Shh," Chanel straddled his lap and ran her hands through his hair. "We said we were taking a break. You deserve a break."

"But—"

"You can't save the world from everything, Bucky. Those guys—" Chanel gestured to the tv. "They've got it under control, I'm sure."

Bucky sighed, and Chanel could tell he was still torn. She ran her fingers over the worry lines on his face.

"Come on, baby, we promised each other."

"I know, it's just—I feel like if I can do something and I don't—what was the point of all the suffering…."

Chanel scratched his scalp, and he immediately closed his eyes. "You have done enough. More than enough. It's your turn to be happy—with me...yes?"

Bucky hummed in agreement and pulled her closer to him.

"You'll put it out of your mind?"

"Yes, doll. Promise." He inhaled her perfumed skin and hair, and his anxiety slowly melted away.

"Good." Chanel kissed his temple. "I had an idea."

"Yeah?"

"I know Sam wanted us to come to Delacroix for Christmas, but I thought it might be nice to do our own thing...I haven't really celebrated Christmas properly in a long time. And I'm assuming you haven't either."

"Not since the '40s. What did you have in mind?"

"Christmas in New York?" Chanel asked hesitantly, not wanting to force herself on him and his home.

Bucky opened his eyes, and they were bright with excitement. "You really want to? You won't miss your friends? I don't have any decorations or anything."

"That's part of the fun! We can decorate and make cookies and go ice skating…."

"You really like Christmas, huh?" Bucky smiled at her giddiness.

Chanel nodded. "I always wanted to have a family to spend it with; the movies made it look so fun. And now I have you, and yeah, Sam will be disappointed, but I want to be selfish and have you all to myself."

Bucky kissed her deeply, his previous worries wholly forgotten. "Let's be selfish then. When do you want to go?"

"Is tomorrow too soon?"

"Nope," Bucky chuckled. "I have to apologize in advance for my apartment, though. I haven't really—I don't have much."

Chanel laughed and kissed him. "I'm sure it's fine, Buck. I'm so excited!"

Bucky smiled, a warm feeling spreading through his body as he watched her move around the room and chat excitedly about what they should do once in New York. He had been excited to go home with her but showing her his home would be just as sweet. He hadn't celebrated any holidays since escaping Hydra. They depressed him, and he usually spent as much time as possible unconscious to avoid the happy faces and laughter—like a beefy metal-armed Grinch. But this holiday was going to be different, and he couldn't wait to share it with Chanel. He constantly felt like he was living in a dream, and something was going to wake him up any second—his whole world crashing down around him.

"Are you listening?" Chanel threw a pillow at Bucky's head.

"Hey!" Bucky grabbed her ankle and pulled her to him. "I was listening," he muttered against her skin as he planted short kisses all over her face, making her giggle.

"Okay, we'll see on Christmas when I open my gifts."

Bucky frowned. "It wouldn't hurt to repeat yourself; I'm old and forgetful."

"I'll make you a list," Chanel rolled her eyes with a laugh. "I never got to make a list for Santa."

Bucky held her closer to him–he could picture her as a child, alone on Christmas morning, daydreaming about how her life would be better when she was older.

"Whatever you want–it's yours."

"Business first," Shuri led Chanel to her lab, "I need to check your vitals and get a few blood samples. Okay?"

"Sure, whatever you need."

Chanel sat in the cold chair in Shuri's lab. She had demanded alone time with Chanel, and Bucky had no choice but to give in. Chanel found his pouting and resistance to being away from her endearing. She felt the same way but was extremely excited at the prospect of spending time with Shuri.

They were silent as Shuri moved around gathering supplies–Chanel trying not to let her excited nerves make her too awkward.

She chewed on her cheek, trying to think of something to say to her. "So—how is your work on the antidote going?"

"Fine, this will be a big help." Shuri rolled a cart of medical supplies over to where Chanel sat.

A thin woman dressed in all white approached Chanel with a kind smile.

"This is Zalli," Shuri introduced the two women. "She's going to take your blood for me."

"Hi," Chanel shifted awkwardly as the woman prepared Chanel's arm for injection.

"Don't be nervous. I'm very good—it'll be quick."

Zalli smiled at her again and looked over her shoulder to see if Shuri was out of earshot. She turned back to Chanel, leaning forward slightly with an amused glint in her eye.

"So, is it true that you are here with the White Wolf?"

Chanel hesitated as the woman stuck the needle in her arm. "Um, yes...why are you whispering? Is that a bad thing?"

"No, she just knows I don't like gossiping in my lab," Shuri chided.

Zalli rolled her eyes. "She's no fun. He's great, isn't he? I was glad to see that we made a lasting impression on him."

Zalli smiled slyly and pulled the needle out of Chanel's arm.

"What impression was that?" Chanel asked, her voice clipped.

Zalli shrugged as she wrapped a bandage around Chanel's arm. "I just thought you might look—different." Zalli stood. "All done; it was a pleasure to meet you."

Chanel narrowed her eyes as she watched the woman leave the lab. "Shuri? Who was that?"

"What do you mean?" Shuri asked, amused.

"Were her and Bucky…a thing?" Chanel couldn't help the surge of jealousy; her palms were sweating.

"I don't think so," Shuri laughed. "Though, I guess that depends on your definition of a thing."

Shuri left the lab, and Chanel followed quickly behind her. "So he fu—sorry, did he sleep with her?"

"I'm not a child; you can speak freely...though I'd rather not discuss my brother's sex life, please."

"Sorry," Chanel sighed frustratedly.

"You have nothing to worry about...he's annoyingly in love with you."

Chanel smiled and tried to put it out of her mind. "Thanks. So where are we going?"

"Into town, you need a shopping spree—and don't take this the wrong way, but I thought you might want to go to a salon too."

"Okay, trying really hard not to take that personally," Chanel snorted. "But you're not wrong."

"Great! There's so much to show you along the way. I know Bucky wanted to show you around, but, I mean, I am the queen."

"Speaking of, he's already asking when I'll be back." Chanel smiled at her phone until Shuri took it from her.

"Focus, if you're going to be my new sister, I need to learn as much about you as I can."

Chanel blushed. "I don't know about that—we barely—"

"Nonsense, I have a sixth sense about these things. So, tell me about yourself."

Chanel told Shuri everything she was comfortable sharing as they walked through the streets of Wakanda. Shuri coaxed more and more out of her as they shopped, and by the time they were sitting in salon chairs, they felt like old friends.

Chanel relaxed into her chair as her stylists snipped her extensions out of her hair. As the dead weight fell to the floor, she opened up more and more to Shuri.

The cold water rinsing the almond-scented conditioner out of her curly hair felt oddly comforting. The salon back home was her safe haven as a teenager…she found herself wondering for the first time in a while how Miss Dotty was–if she was even still there. She pondered this as she sat under the hair dryer–Dotty had taken pity on her and let her hang out in the salon after school. Eventually, Chanel started helping out, sweeping the floors, washing clients' hair, and operating the cash register. That salon was where she learned how to braid, how to take care of her natural hair–the women that came in and out every week taught her about life and love, how to put in a tampon, how to throw a punch (for emergencies only), and how not to get pregnant. Dotty even taught her how to drive in her busted Chevy.

Shuri snapped Chanel out of her thoughts, shoving her phone in her hands.

"He won't stop!" She yelled over the sound of the dryer.

Chanel looked at her phone, there were 20 text messages from Bucky, and as she read them, he called.

Chanel ducked out from under the dryer. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing–can I come hang out with you guys now?"

"Buck–"

"We're supposed to be spending time together–there's so much I want to show you."

Through their facial expressions, Chanel and Shuri had a silent conversation (argument). Chanel rolled her eyes and turned her back.

"Listen, we're almost done here, I have a surprise for you, and then we can go to lunch. Just you and me, okay?"

"Perfect, see you in a bit."

Chanel hung up and returned to her chair, giving Shuri an apology shrug.

"See, I told you, annoyingly in love."

"Do you think he'll like it?" Chanel looked at herself from every angle in the salon mirror.

Her natural hair had been trimmed and shaped into a cascade of curls down her back, a few small braids mixed in at Shuri's insistence.

"Of course! It's gorgeous. Now let's go before he comes looking for us."

"Bucky said something last night about his time here before–and you scanning his brain–"

"What about it?" Shuri nodded politely to passersby as they walked back to the palace.

"It seemed to upset him–and I was just wondering what you saw in those images that would be upsetting."

"I don't know if that's something I should tell you."

"I just want to take care of him–" Chanel gave Shuri a pleading look.

Shuri made a disgruntled noise but ultimately decided to spill. "I'm only telling you this because I like you, and I want him to be happy."

Chanel nodded, encouraging her to go on.

"I'm sure you've noticed his general gloomy attitude and hesitancy to have fun. I don't think he used to be that way; I think it's a side effect of the brain damage from the ECT–you know when Hydra would wipe his memories."

"What kind of damage?"

"The parts of his brain that regulate emotion–" Shuri paused, trying to translate her words so Chanel would understand. "In the MRI scans, his brain was–and still is lit up like a Christmas tree. Which is not good. Basically, his brain produces too much dopamine, which often results in things like irritability, paranoia, depression…."

"Is that fixable? I don't think he's depressed–do you?"

"Not really, and I don't know I'm not a psychologist."

Chanel laughed shortly, "you'd probably still be a way better judge than his current therapist."

"What do you mean?"

"She is making him think that everything the Winter Soldier did is his fault and that he needs to make amends for it."

Shuri stopped walking for a moment, her mouth agape before she snapped it shut and continued on, entering the palace. "He needs a new therapist."

"That's what I told him–well, in a roundabout way."

Shuri sighed as she saw Bucky approaching. "Anyway, it's not like he can't be happy. I mean, look at him right now," Shuri waved her hand in Bucky's direction, "he looks like a fucking puppy."

"Hey, I heard that!" Bucky playfully shoved Shuri's shoulder as he approached. "And I thought I told you to watch the language around her?" Bucky dipped down to kiss Chanel.

"I did!" Chanel argued.

"I'm twenty years old, Bucky–just because you're like 200 doesn't mean I'm a child."

"Whatever," Bucky rolled his eyes, "are you done hogging Chanel now?"

"For now, I'll have your bags sent to your room." Shuri waved goodbye and left them alone.

"So, how was it?" Bucky asked. "You changed your hair."

"Very fun. And yes, this is my natural hair. You like?"

"I love it–it's beautiful." Bucky reached out to touch one of the shiny curls, and Chanel slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch it." Chanel smiled at his wounded expression. "How are you?"

She kissed him, and he already looked drunk on her when she pulled away.

"I—I'm fine. Glad you're back."

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Chanel half smiled, and half raised her eyebrows in concern. Bucky looked at her like he could see nothing else in the room.

"You just–I really like your hair." Bucky pulled her closer to him so he could run his hands over her hips. "And I'm wondering if the curls will bounce as nicely as the rest of you does when you're on top of me," he whispered in her ear.

Chanel bit her lip and looked up at him. "I'm not all that hungry–should we go find out?"

Bucky smirked, grabbed her hand, and ran with her through the palace to their guest room.

Chanel wrapped the wool blanket Bucky handed her around her shoulders with a shiver. "Before you say anything, yes, I want to stay out here, at least until the sun goes down."

Chanel grabbed another handful of raisins and held her hand out to the black and white goat, nudging her arm.

Bucky sat back down next to her, wrapping one arm around her waist. "I think Sammy likes you more than me."

The little goat finally calmed down and laid in the grass next to Chanel. "I've never been much of an animal person–but they're pretty cute."

"They're the best; I didn't realize how much I missed this."

Chanel nuzzled into his side and looked up at him; he was staring into the distance, a hint of a smile on his face.

"Are you sure you're ready to leave? We don't have to."

Bucky smiled down at her, his hand rubbing circles on her hip. "I'll always think of this place as a home. I'm glad you got to see it, but Brooklyn…it's different now, but it's still where I belong. It'll be even better with you there–lighting everything up."

Chanel hummed happily, and they both fell silent as the sunset captivated their attention.

Chanel had never seen a more beautiful sight. Warm colors erupted all around them; the light seemed to touch everything within sight and beyond. She wiped her cheek, surprised to find that she was crying.

She looked down at the light glinting off the sun charm around her neck, making it glow just as bright. Then she looked up at the peaceful look on Bucky's face and made him a silent promise. She would be there for him to lean on, to brighten his days, to chase the demons and darkness away. Because he deserved it. She would lock away her confusing feelings about Stephan's death, her guilt over the things she's done, and give Bucky her everything.

She swore this to herself as she watched the sunset in the reflection of his eyes.

"So, you're really not going to tell me what's in the mysterious cases Shuri handed you before we left?" Chanel sat in the co-pilot seat of Yelena's jet as Bucky flew them home.

"This is the fifth time you've asked."

"So give in already!"

"Fine, but you have to promise that this stays between us."

"Of course!" Chanel was already out of her seat and opening the first case. "Is this what I think it is?"

She gently ran her hands over the white suit with red and blue accents. She picked up the tell-tale goggles and beamed at Bucky. "He's going to love it."

"Look under the suit too," Bucky said over his shoulder.

Chanel moved the suit and found a brand new version of Sam's beloved Redwing. "You didn't! Oh my god, he's going to freak out."

"I hope so," Bucky chuckled.

"I can't imagine what's in the next one," Chanel said as she carefully placed the items back in the case and moved on to the second one.

"It's–uh–it's for you if you want it."

Chanel opened the case and pulled out a black suit with intricate gold detailing. "Shuri–she made this–for me?" Chanel looked at Bucky dumbfounded.

"Yeah, doll. I–I wasn't sure if you were going to stick around with Sam and me–but just in case…."

Chanel took out a vest and two batons that she recognized immediately. "Bucky—what is this?"

Bucky looked over his shoulder and then quickly put the plane on autopilot. "They were Natasha's." Bucky knelt down next to Chanel. "Shuri made these for her–and we thought you should have them. The vest is hers too, to give to Yelena."

Chanel brought the vest to her face and inhaled deeply. She let out a wet, choked laugh, her teary eyes meeting Bucky's. "I can almost smell her. Is that creepy?"

Bucky smiled softly, wiping her tears. "No, doll, not at all."

"Thank you for this," Chanel put the vest and suit back, her hands hovering over the batons. "I always wished I had something of hers."

Chanel put them back and closed the case before wrapping her arms around Bucky's neck.

"You're welcome, doll–I gotta go fly the plane now." Bucky thwarted her attempt to kiss him and chuckled at her pout.

"So, what are you going to do–stay with the CIA?"

Chanel sat back in her seat and pondered for a moment. "I think I'm tired of fighting for them. I just want to put all of that behind me."

She looked over at Bucky, his smile and the crinkle of his eyes made her believe what she wanted was possible.

She sat back in her seat and closed her eyes–daydreaming about the reposeful, festive days that lay ahead.

Meanwhile….

Zemo was laid on his cot, his ankles crossed and a book in his hands, covering his face. He ignored the incessant tapping on the glass of his cell, slowly turning a page in his book.

"You don't want to talk? Fine. Then listen."

Zemo acted as if he couldn't hear her, flipping another page in the book. Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine had offered him a deal many months ago. At the time, he had considered it, believing he had no other options to escape his superhero captors and avoid ending up exactly where he was. But then things changed, and now he had no problems with his current situation and no interest in her.

"I looked into your friend," Valentina smirked when Zemo's finger froze in midair for just a second. "Yeah, she's cute, feisty. I like her."

Zemo clenched his jaw, still refusing to even look at the woman behind the glass.

"I've heard that the Power Broker has reached her limit. She's sparing no cost to get what she wants. Unfortunately for Ms. Thomas–she has a lot of enemies. I have to say, I was impressed when I saw the list of potential hitmen."

Zemo snapped his book closed and sat up, striding to the glass wall where he could stare down at her. "If you know something, then I suggest you tell me, now."

Valentina held her ground, feeling emboldened by the thick glass that separated them. "That's not how this works, Baron. You have to give before you can receive."

Zemo stared her down, calculating–he knew what she wanted. She wanted him on her team, as if he could ever be a team player, and she wanted Sam and Bucky out of the way. If he gave an inch, Valentina would take a mile.

Zemo calmed his emotions, his eyes glazing back into an uninterested stare as he turned his back and picked up his book again. He held it in front of his face until the sound of Valentina's clicking heels faded.

He would have to figure this out himself.