A/N: I've been meaning to write this fic for a very, very long time. The idea always seemed beautiful to me and I've tried to make it beautiful. I'd like to thank TheseBrokenWings for the inspiration in her fic Pheonix Feathers. Whee! Read, review and be merry!

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A knock on the door rang out in the darkness and pulled me out of probably one of the best sleeps I had had in a long time. The crew and I had finally managed to create a semi-permanent cage around the tigers that were upset that now, they couldn't play their favorite game of sneaking into the lion's den and eating their food. Later, we went down and fed every single animal by hand, taking note of which ones were traumatized by the actions of the Yeerks. It had been about three months since we were allowed to come back in. The Yeerks kept most of the more powerful animals alive for morphs and killed all the rest. The "cleaning" process took up the better part of ten weeks; it took me two more weeks to work up the strength to step into The Gardens again. The war was over, that much was true, but like everyone, I carried a gigantic boulder from it.

"Cassie…" I rolled over and got up to unlock the door. Sam, a young intern that we hired from the San Diego Zoo to help us in the transition phase. He stood there, akward and lanky. For just a minute, I saw Jake as he was before the war. Sam ran his fingers through his hair and shifted to the other leg, unsure of whether he could talk to me. That was how my life was now. I was so famous that everyone everywhere knew my name and the only thing I wanted was to wake up in the morning and sink under the sheets.

"What is it Sam?" I had finally pulled myself up and gathered my hair up in a ponytail, sleeping on the lounge's sofa didn't guarantee that you would wake up with the best hair.

"Um… er… Vick sent me to get you. He says there's something you need to see?"

Ignoring the fact that the last part was more a question than a statement, I grabbed my jacket and walked across the lounge to the security building, with Sam right behind me. Before the lounge and the security center were separated by one mile of sidewalk, two concession stands and an elephant house. Now, everything was in one structure, just a few steps within each other- courtesy of the Yeerks.

"What do we have?" I asked as the bright lights of security TVs burned through my sleep-stained eyes.

"Something that might interest you," Vick pointed to a screen that was near the center. He spun around in his chair to look at me, "This is the third time Cass. He just comes and sits."

I learned forward to look at the screen he pointed to. It was of the polar bear habitat. The gate ran around a pool with rocks and a small tree and a stream that ran throughout it. It took me a while to find what I knew would be there. A bird sat on gate, just sitting there and watching our biggest polar bear- Macho- sleep.

I stopped breathing. It had been months… not since the memorial. So many emotions ran through me. Everything I had tried to bury suddenly surfaced, not that that was a bad thing. I hadn't spoken to anyone in three months- how appropriate it should be him that woke me up again- he who had lost his only love, and I who had lost mine.

The bird suddenly hopped off the gate post and onto the seats that we had set up so the people could watch the bears. Then, he began to do something extremely unusual. He changed into a boy. His talons grew longer and fatter. His beak disappeared into a nose and his eyes popped out into those of a human. And so a boy emerged from the body of a predator. I had to get down there.

"I'll um… be back," and I stumbled out of there.

It was about a quarter mile walk to the habitat. I passed the tigers (who were hissing at the lions through the cracks) and made a mental note to just hire professionals. The snake house was on my left when I came into view of Macho and the boy.

I walked up behind him. He knew I was there. I collapsed onto the bench next to him and all of the memories and weight from the war fell with me. Everyone thought it was behind me, that I was just interested in the morals and ethics now that it's done. Not true. I lost my best friend and my first, and maybe only, love in that war. Getting over that doesn't come easy, debating morals and ethics on late night shows just makes it look like it.

"Hi Tobias," the words came out in a rush and they broke through the silence before landing on his ears.

He turned to look at me. He was still the thirteen year old that I knew before the war. If someone had seen us sitting there watching us (Vick and Sam probably were from somewhere in the control room) they would've turned their noses up and said something horrible about how I was taking advantage of Tobias.

Honestly, I could care less. His eyes looked into mine and I saw Tobias the hawk, Tobias the boy, Tobias the man but most importantly, I saw Rachel's Tobias. He blinked and smiled one of the saddest smiles I've ever seen.

"How've you been Cassie? I figured you would eventually come out."

"Yea." Silence once again, but it wasn't strange. Somehow, if felt more right than I had felt in three months. For the first time, I was with an Animorph. I was with one of the few people who knew me as Cassie and that was the best feeling.

He stretched out and ran his hand through his messy hair. I remembered Rachel telling me once during a sleepover that move is what made her fall in love with him.

Rachel.

He was here for her, obviously. It was Macho who killed her, the Yeerk had used Macho's DNA to morph the bear and kill Rachel. Our Rachel.

"She would hate you sitting here like this, Tobias." It was out before I could stop it. But it was true, every word was true.

Silence fell once again on them. It was not as comfortable this time. He moved and his head fell into his hands. Suddenly, he was crying.

"I know… I know Cassie but God- she was all I had left. It's not like you and Jake, Cassie, you two will always be together. It's like fate, you two are per-"

"We're… not… It didn't work out, Tobias."

And suddenly Tobias and I were on the same level. Rachel was all we had left.

"I'm sorry," he said. I nodded.

"I know."

"So, what now?" he asked me. I shrugged and looked at Macho. He was huge and beautiful and peaceful. Safe.

"Move on." Even as I said it, the possibility seemed impossible.

"Yea," the word escaped him like a breath.

I stood up and moved towards him.

"I love you Tobias," I said, but he knew. You can't escape death with someone that many times and not love them.

"I think I'm just gonna stay here for a while longer." I nodded and managed to escape the tears for a few more seconds.
"Take care Tobias," I whispered and kissed his forehead before walking away.

My shoes squeaked and I could here Macho stirring in his sleep. Tobias stayed there, watching the polar bear and thinking of Rachel.