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The Scroll

Chapter 5: Girls are Innocent and Unguilty

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"Idiot! This was your fault!" Temari accused Kankurou.

"How is it my fault?" He looked offended. "Its THAT leafhead's fault." He pointed to Shikamaru.

"….." Shikamaru dot-dot-dot-ed.

"How?"

"Well… He's a leaf nin, which automatically qualifies him to be guilty! And LOOK AT HIS FACE. It is the center of all guiltiness! I mean LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT IT DAMMIT." Kankurou explained.

"…But she's a leaf Nin to." Temari pointed to Hinata. Hinata, in response, foamed at the mouth.

"…But she's A FEMALE."

"…That was so sexist its not even funny." Gaara muttered.

"Females are INNOCENT… and UNGUILTY. But LOOK AT HIS FUCKING FACE." Kankurou once again pointed at Shikamaru, "LOOK AT HIS DIRTY, MORPHED, UNKINDLY, GUILT TWISTED FACE."

"…That made no sense whatsoever." Gaara mumbled under his breath.

Shikamaru at this point was like wtf at Kankurou. But then again, at this point, anybody who is NORMAL…would be like wtf at Kankurou.

"…yeah so anyway, we need to make a plan." Temari kneeled down on one knee, as did Gaara, Hinata, and Shikamaru.

"Dudewtf this isn't SOCCER. We shouldn't need to talk on one knee I mean come o—" Temari pulled him down by…his ears. His ears that don't exist. So she pulled him down by the kitty ears that he got us mixed up in the fist chapter and made everyone believe they were beer bottles.

BUT ANYWAY…. Back to the fic.

"We need to find that stupid academy teacher." Temari pointed out; "He has to know where The Scroll is."

"We're just assuming that." Gaara pointed out, "What if someone pointless like…. KURENAI has it? I mean come on, look at it realistically."

"Don't worry troublesomely, Iruka has it." Shikamaru assured lazily.

"That is where my crazy Dolphin sensing senses come in, right!" He closed his eyes and hummed like he was mediating.

…wtf.

"I sense that the Dolphin is at the ramen stand."

"…It's better than nothing." Temari pushed up from her knee, and headed towards the ramen stand.

"You will never get The Scroll!" Iruka shouted and pointed at them dramatically. Insert dramatic heroic music here.

"Look just give us The Scroll and we'll be out of your way." Temari couldn't believe they had hired an academy teacher to protect it. AN ACADEMY TEACHER. Maybe Jounins/ANBU were overrated or something.

"Nevar" Iruka danced away.

"CHASE THAT DANCING DOLPHIN." And so they chased.

And Iruka ran.

"Hey I think Dancing with Dolphins is a book." Kankurou commented.

"I think it's called Dancing with Wolves, idiot." Gaara hissed.

And Iruka joined in this argument, "It SHOULD be dancing with Dolphins. Wolves are so overrated, with their fur and claws."

"Wolves are more powerful creatures." Gaara protested.

"Dolphins are artistic creatures, and very social." Iruka informed.

"Dolphins have gang rape too. : D" Kankurou said, giving everyone a little too much information.

Hinata foamed, and tackled Iruka. Kankurou followed in a tow, calling out, "DOG PILE." And every kid in a five-mile radius of that spot all piled on top of Iruka.

And Iruka suffocated. But nobody cares cuz its IRUKA come on.

Temari pried The Scroll from Iruka's cold, dead fingers. Wait, he hasn't been dead long enough to be stiff and cold? Shut up.

But just as they were going to walk away, Iruka's soul with wings and halo included, swooped down and grasped The Scroll in his talons. What talons you ask? …shut up.

Now they were dealing with a ghost.

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A/N: …I have a feeling I'm going to get flamed for killing Iruka.

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