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Ghosts annoyed Shikamaru more than anything else did. Simply because ghosts could not be logically explained. And Shikamaru hated ANYTHING that could not be logically explained.
So he twitched. And twitched. And twitched until he went epileptic. But then he stopped. And the author is amazed at what she's about to do.
"GIVE THEM THE F?CKING SCROLL!"
Shikamaru used the Caps lock. And the shift to make the exclamation point. Oh. My. God. The sky must be falling.
Whoa look the sky really IS falling.
Made you look.
But in Ninja Land, the sky really WAS falling. But nobody wants to point that out and be sent to the funny house. So they ignore it.
And it comes crashing down, squishing our 'heroes'.
"So yummy." And Kankurou ate it all. "Tastes like cotton candy."
"Is it just me… or did Kankurou just eat the sky…?" Gaara questioned, staring at Kankurou.
"…It seems so." Temari answered, a bit unsure herself.
"But the sky is like… yeah."
"…Yeah."
"…."
"Do not fear! Underdog is here! I mean… do not distress! Do not slit your wrists! I will draw a NEW sky! A better sky! A purple pokka-doted sky!" Kankurou shouted in a superhero voice.
Oh no.
Never let a sugar high puppeteer draw a purple pokka-doted sky.
"I will use Crayola Washable Markers." And so, the sugar high puppeteer used Crayola Washable Markers to draw/color a new sky.
A purple pokka-doted sky.
Iruka was very unpleased with this. "You will never get The Scroll because you drew the most HORRIBE sky I've ever seen." And Iruka ruffled his white gown that comes with being a haunting ghost and all, and floated away.
"…Great. We just failed again." Temari groaned.
"Look on the bright side! We have a new, prettier sky to look at!"
The sky gave everyone extreme headaches.
"P-perhaps we could ask I-Izumo-san and K-Kotetsu-san if they know how to make I-Iruka-s-sensei give us The Scroll." Hinata stuttered, surprisingly, not foaming at the mouth rabidly.
"Nah, my good luck charms aren't good for finding dolphins. But you know what sucks…?" Kankurou questioned.
"…." Temari dot-dot-doted.
"…." Gaara dot-dot-doted.
"…." Shikamaru dot dot-doted.
"…." Hinata dot-dot-doted.
"…My Super Special Super Gorgeous Dolphin Sensing Senses aren't good for sensing dead dolphins." He made a sad face.
Wtf. How are senses 'super gorgeous'? Don't ask me.
"Let's play that game that the author played on the way to Lopez Island!" Kankurou exclaimed giddily.
"…what?" Temari questioned, rolling her eyes.
"Hey Gaara!" Kankurou said eagerly.
"Hey what?"
"Hey Gaara."
"…..Hey what?"
"Show us how you Bungaloo!"
"Bunga—what?"
"Bungaloo!"
"My hands are high my feet are low, and SABAKUNO KYUU, this is how I Bungaloo." As he said 'SABAKUNO KYUU' he sabakuno kyuu'd a passing by Iruka that was alive again. But not anymore. Cuz he was sabakuno kyuu'd.
"His hands are high, his feet are low, and SABAKUNO KYUU is how he Bungaloo-s." Kankurou said almost in a chant, "Hey Temari!"
"Hey what?" She couldn't believe she was about to play this game.
"Hey Temari!"
"Hey what?"
"Show us how you Bungaloo!"
"Bunga what?"
"Bungaloo!"
"My hands are high my feet are low," The slammed her fan in the side of Kankurou's face, "This is how I Bungaloo."
Kankurou was now supporting a bruised head. But you can't see that because of the heavy makeup he wears. Kankurou's a transvestite. Or just a woman. A really…ugly woman that looks like a man.
But off from the subject of transvestites and manly women—I mean womanly men—or unisex. Whatever. ANYWAY, the point is, this silly game was getting them nowhere, and they still had a dead Iruka to find. But if they hadn't been so distracted by their game, they WOULD have noticed that Gaara had sabakuno kyuu'd Iruka. But no.
Hinata foamed rabidly because she hadn't got her turn. But nobody cares. Nobody cares about Hinata. So she cried a river. Literally. Now there was this large river running through Konohagakure. But nobody cares. Which makes Hinata cry a fork in the river, so it slides off to Oto and drowns all the Oto Nins and brings back Sasuke in the current. Mmm. Sasuke.
Hinata felt unloved. Hinata felt unappreciated. Hinata felt underestimated. She went silent. Dangerously silent. Then she went on a killing spree of Konoha that wiped everything out EXCEPT the actual people. So it's not a killing spree. More like a destructive spree.
"…. What the hell?" Temari didn't even want to know what brought THAT on.
Kankurou got hearts in his eyes, "Hinata! You are brilliant!"
Hinata got sparkly eyed, "Oh thank you, Kankurou-san!"
And Shikamaru went insane. He jumped off a cliff only to be reincarnated and placed back in his spot. "You're all troublesomely crazy. Crazy, troublesome."
"Troublesome or crazy, make up your goddamn mind, woman." Kankurou hissed at Shikamaru.
"…Kankurou, Shikamaru's a man."
"What! You mean I didn't know that the WHOLE time?" Kankurou looked shocked, "Oh. My. God. Shikamaru's a man, and he never attempted the Manliness Test."
"Manliness Test?"
"Yes. You have to bite off the head of a herring and swallow it raw or keep a crab on your finger for 20 seconds. You HAVE to do one."
Shikamaru chose the crab.
He sucked.
"HOLYSHITWTFOWWF?CKSHITCRAPF?CKWTFSHIT."
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A/N: Doesn't this make you warm and fuzzy on the inside?
Bungaloo- that was a game I played on the way to Lopez Island.
Manliness Test- A boy I know had to do that. He chose the crab, I think.
Crayola Washable Markers- Washable markers from the brand Crayola. I do not own.
Underdog- an old cartoon about a super dog named Underdog. His 'superhero' call is "Have no fear! Underdog is here!" I do not own.Izumo and Kotetsu- Kankurou's good luck charms. This was established in chapter 2.
Super Special Super Gorgeous Dolphin Sensing Senses- (SSSGDSS) Kankurou's Iruka tracking senses.
Ninja Land- Suna, Konoha, all the villages. Yep, yep.