They ended up giving up on the meditation after about twenty minutes. Alec stayed perfectly still, kind if intimidatingly so, but he kept on huffing out annoyed breaths. And Simon stayed quiet, but couldn't stop moving around every few minutes. The idea was good, the execution not so much.

It was getting late, so Simon needled Alec into having at least a light dinner, while he took care of his privately. Alec told him he didn't have to hide it, but it still felt strange to do in front of anyone else. Non-vampires couldn't truly understand. He also didn't like feeding in front of other vampires because they all seemed to relish in the act. Simon just considered it something he had to do, not something he wanted to do. He and Alec were sort of similar in that way at the moment.

"What are you doing?" Simon asked as he walked back into the main room. Alec was tossing the throw pillows from the couch onto a chair.

"I was planning on sleeping out here tonight, after what happened," Alec replied, moving past him to grab his blanket and pillow from the bed.

"You don't have to do that," Simon insisted, stepping into the doorway to block him.

"I could've killed you last night. Knowing that it could happen again…" Alec trailed off, shaking his head. "It was hard enough going to sleep in the first place."

"But you didn't. And I'm willing to take that risk."

"I'm not."

"What if I promise to throw a pillow at you if you have a nightmare, instead of touching you?" Simon offered, trying to keep his tone light and joking.

"That's ridiculous."

"That's what friends do for each other. That's what we are now, remember?"

"There have got to be limitations to that."

"Maybe. But we still haven't reached them."

"Really, it's not that big of a deal," Alec muttered, finally brushing past him. Simon trailed after him, not willing to give up that easily.

"I'm not going to be able to sleep with you out here," Simon said, eyeing Alec critically as he glanced away. "That's your plan, isn't it? You're just going to stay awake."

"Simon," Alec sighed, sitting down on the couch. Simon sat down on the other end, giving him space, but still showing him that he was there.

"Do you want to tell me about them? The nightmares?" Simon asked gently.

"They're like every bad thought or memory multiplied by a thousand. And the worst part is they are so realistic. I know they're just dreams, but they are hard to shake," Alec explained, closing his fist around the corner of his pillow. "And when I wake up, it takes me right back to how I was before. When everything felt impossible."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"And I feel like I'm trying to get better and making progress, but the idea of my brain ruining it is too much. It's like this never ending cycle."

"But you have to sleep. The more exhausted you are, the harder everything else will be," Simon pointed out.

"I know. That's why I was using my runes so much. It was the only thing that kept me going."

"To avoid dealing with the true problem."

"Yeah."

"Which is what you're doing right now." Alec groaned and tipped his head back against the couch.

"I guess I can't expect to get better unless I face this head-on," Alec sighed, running a hand down his face.

"Unfortunately, I think that's the case," Simon agreed. "You know, I happen to have experience with night terrors."

"Really?" Alec asked, glancing over at him. Simon felt kind of weird talking about this, but if he expected Alec to open up, he could too.

"It was after my dad died. I kept dreaming that I would lose my mom, and then it was just me and my sister alone. Or I'd lose them both. Every night I would wake up in a panic thinking I lost my whole family."

"How did you deal with it?"

"I slept in bed with my mom for a while. I think it helped feeling her presence."

"But we were in the room together last night and it didn't help."

"You also slept fine at my place the other day," Simon reminded him. "It's not always going to go perfectly all the time. There were nights that I woke my mom up with my nightmares, even with her right there."

"So you're saying that it's probably still going to happen and I just need to suck it up and deal with it?" Alec sighed, shooting him a resigned smile.

"Kind of, although I wouldn't put it that way," Simon shrugged. "Putting it off is just gonna keep it hanging over your head. You're going to have to deal with it, no matter what, so why not face it now. Avoiding sleep is only going to make everything else so much harder."

"But that doesn't mean you need to put yourself in the line of fire by being near me when I do it."

"Well, I'm choosing to," Simon replied, tugging at Alec's blanket to drape across his lap.

"I'm not sharing a blanket with you," Alec scoffed, pulling his blanket back.

"But I'm cold," Simon whined, wrapping his arms around his chest exaggeratedly.

"You're a vampire. You're always cold."

"And that's why I need the blanket."

"I don't think that's how it works."

"How would you know?"

"I've been dealing with vampires longer than you've even known they existed," Alec chuckled, rolling his eyes at Simon's pout. He tossed the end of his blanket over begrudgingly and Simon happily covered himself with it. "We are not sharing a pillow."

"I like this. It's cozy," Simon grinned, burrowing down into the cushions.

"I'm glad one of us is enjoying it," Alec snorted.

"The Alec doth protest too much, methinks."

"What?"

"We have got to broaden your horizons," Simon muttered, standing up and walking over to the full bookshelf on the side of the room. "I make a lot of references and it would be easier if I didn't have to explain them all to you."

"Or you could just speak English. I think I've got a pretty firm grasp on that."

"That's debatable," Simon snickered, grabbing a few options and setting them on the couch between them. "Take your pick."

"Any of these about runes?" Alec mumbled, picking one of the books up and flipping it over, before setting it back down. "Reading was one of the ways I avoided sleeping."

"Well, instead of reading, how about listening? Bedtime stories are a good way to relax," Simon suggested, grabbing a book that didn't have an intense theme. Something with violence and relationship drama probably wasn't a good idea.

"Bedtime stories?"

"Just go with it," Simon waved off. He wasn't going to make the same mistake he did with the soup. Simon wasn't going to assume that Alec's parents did anything nice for him at this point.

He started reading from the book as Alec grumbled under his breath, but he didn't argue or leave, so Simon considered that a win. The book was about a group of people who had been sent to a new planet to learn how to survive. It kind of reminded Simon of what Alec was trying to do, out here in the middle of nowhere. Obviously not on the same scale, but still similar.

Soon enough, Simon was enthralled in the book. He'd always enjoyed reading but hadn't done it for so long, with all the craziness in his life. He didn't realize how much he missed it before now. Maybe Alec wasn't the only one who had gotten used to putting his own wants and needs aside for others.

At the thought of his companion, Simon looked up from his book. It was the first time looking away for a few chapters, so a bit of time had passed. Evidently enough time for Alec to doze off. Alec's head was resting against the back of the couch and he was holding his pillow against his chest. He looked so relaxed that Simon didn't dare try to coax him into a different position.

Simon made a note of what page he was on and closed the book, setting it on the table next to him. He could move to one of the chairs in the room, but he didn't want to risk disturbing Alec. And being close made it easier for him to notice if he became unsettled. They could share the couch for tonight.

Simon flicked off the lamp and leaned his head against the arm of the couch, snuggling down into a more comfortable position. He would just get up early and move before Alec woke up, so it wouldn't be so awkward. He sent some good thoughts out into the universe for Alec to get good rest before he finally closed his eyes.