Author's Note : Thank you for your reviews! I realised that there wasn't as many reviews for the previous chapter compared to the rest. Not that I'm complaining but I'm wondering if it isbecause some of y'all didn't like it as much as the other chapters.
I'd love it if you could tell me if you could let me know if there are ways to improve this fanfic. You know, like maybe I should make this particular character more realistic because blahblahblah, that sort of thing. I like to keep the characters in my fics as realistic and believable as possible.
Anyway, here is a new chapter! Enjoy!
The barkings started again. Addison stirred in her bed, throwing her pillow over her head in attempt to shut out the noise.
"It's your turn, Addie." Derek mumbled sleepily, tossing a pillow over his own head. Addison let out a grunt and sat up, rubbing the furry head of Doc's as it paddled around the bed to nudge at her.
"Alright, alright. Gimme a moment to get ready, Doc." she said, yawning as she slided off the bed.
Rubbing her eyes, Addison grabbed her black coat and pulled it over her pajamas, tying the belt around her waist. She ran a hand through her hair several times before shaking it out, checking in a reflection to make sure she looked sane enough to get out of the house. She reached out and pulled the leash off the hook and fasten it around the dog's furry neck.
"Okay, we're good to go." she ruffled the dog's fur with a smile. She straightened herself up and pulled open the door to the trailer, taking one last glance at the still sleeping Derek before walking out.
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The walk was slow today, at least, for the dog. Addison could feel the strong tug at the leash as the dog paddled forward, willing his master to move faster. But Addison refused, she held on to the leash tightly and chose to stroll instead of jog like she usually would. Suddenly, the dog gave the leash a forceful tug and a few yelps, turning its head to Addison once before trying to run off.
"Aww c'mon, Doc! I'm tired!" she grumbled, pulling back at the leash to restrain the dog. But it failed. Doc gave it one forceful tug that cause the leash to fly out of Addison's hands and paddled away at full speed into a specific direction, like it found something. Addison sighed and started jogging after her pet. She followed it around the corner of the trail and stopped short.
"Meredith!" she called out, surprised when she saw the blonde playing with Doc. She made her way towards the two and picked up the fallen leash from the floor.
"Hey!" Meredith greeted, still focused on the animal that had once lived in her house. Giving one last pat at the dog's head, she looked up at Addison with a grin.
"Sneakers." she pointed out, referring to the footwear that Addison had on. "I'd never imagined that you would actually wear sneakers outside surgery."
"Yea." she responded, still surprised to find Meredith along the trail. "It comes in handy when I have to run after Doc. What are you doing here? Do you have another dog? Or a cat that you have to walk?" she asked.
Meredith tucked her hands into her coat pocket and started walking down the usual path that Addison take when it was her turn to walk the dog. "No, I don't." she laughed. "I came here hoping to bump into you." she admitted.
"How would you know you'd find me here?" Addison asked, stopping to unfasten the leash around the dog, allowing it to run wild like she always does the moment she reaches that spot. Meredith turned around, surprised by her question. "Derek didn't tell you?" she asked, running a hand through her blonde hair as the morning wind blew it out of place.
"No. Tell me what?" she frowned, throwing a stick absent-mindedly into a direction, knowing that the dog would run after it.
"I take morning walks here with him, and the dog." Meredith explained.
He takes walk with Meredith here every alternate days? Addison thought, annoyed at the fact that Derek was not honest with her about it. Not that she asked, but aren't husband and wife suppose to tell each other these things?
"Oh." she said, tucking her hair behind her ears, twirling the leash around her hands as she started walking after the dog. "Are you still taking walks with him?" she asked casually. Meredith shook her head. "Haven't for quite awhile."
Then there was a moment of awkward silence. But the dog came running back, the stick in its mouth. Addison bend down to retrieve it from the dog's mouth and handed the stick to Meredith with a smile. Meredith brought her arm back, then flung the stick a little furthur than she had intended. The both of them made a face at the sound of the stick crashing into a low bush not far away.
"So, you're not mad?" Meredith asked, breaking the silence between them.
"No." Addison said almost too quickly. "I guess. I mean... I don't know." she admitted with a shrug.
"Oh, ok." Meredith said, looking up to flash Addison a smile. She took a hand out of the pocket and took a glance at the time. "I should go." she announced. "I have to be there early today. Don't want Bailey to think I actually like getting stuck with you." she teased. "I'd walk you back but"
"Yea, Derek. I understand." Addison cut her off. Meredith nodded, her eyes falling down onto the dog as it paddled back with the stick in its mouth. Addison drew in a breathe and tuck the loose strands of hair behind her ears. "I guess I'll see you at work then." she said.
"Yea. Bye." Meredith said, starting to turn around to walk off.
"Yea..." Addison mumbled, nodding more to herself as she watch Meredith walk off. Just about to turn away to walk back to the trailer, she saw a flash of blonde. Meredith had ran up to Addison unexpectedly and planted a soft kiss onto her lips. It shocked Addison at first, but she felt her lips part, kissing back.
When they finally pull away from each other, there was a smile on Meredith's face as she bit a little at her bottom lip. Returning the smile, Addison let out a laugh.
"Well, okay. Bye." Meredith grinned, then jogged off into the opposite direction.
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Addison opened the door to the trailer, leading the dog inside with its leash, then took it off from around its neck and hung it back onto the usual hook.
"Hey!" Derek greeted. "I made pancakes."
"You're up!" Addison managed. And you didn't tell me about your walks with Meredith. she added silently. She would have confronted her husband but how is she going to explain the way she found out? That she had taken a morning walk with Meredith?
"You're happy." Derek noted as Addison pulled off her coat and tossed it onto the hanger.
"That's what fresh air does to you." she said with a laugh, then headed straight into the bathroom to avoid furthur questions.
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"You're here early today, Grey." Miranda noted as Meredith stood there, all dressed in scrubs and her hair ready while the rest of the interns are still standing around their lockers, doing the final preparations before going off for their assignments.
"Was Addison that creepy for you?" she asked, flipping open the chart in her hands, looking up briefly at Meredith. "What did she make you do?"
She had me hiding under the coffee table during lunch when Derek walked in on us. But Meredith only smiled, like she always would.
Shaking her head at Meredith's response, Miranda went on. "Alright. Stevens, you're with Montgomery-Shepherd. Karev and Grey, rounds. O'Malley, you're with Dr. Burke today. Yang, you're with me." she instructed, then slapped her file shut.
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"So how was lunch with McSatan yesterday?" Alex asked, actually wanting gossip. "I don't want to talk about it." Meredith said, flashing him a tight smile.
"You're smiling. Was she actually nice? Did she let you have a go at McDreamy?" Alex pushed on as the both of them turned a corner of the hospital.
"Well, why don't you get a lunch date with her and find out? Since you're so interested."
"I might. She's McHot. But I'm kinda with Izzie right now." Alex said with a cocky grin.
"Ohhh, right." Meredith laughed. McHot? McYeah, she is. she thought with a secretive smile.
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Tomorrow. Tomorrow she will have to wake up early again, to take a walk with Doc, with Derek. Thankfully dogs can't talk, or communicate with human beings in any word forms or Meredith would have so much explanation to do. Now Addison knows. Addison knows that Meredith has been taking walks with Derek. But what Addison still doesn't know is that Meredith isn't over Derek. Maybe she knows. But if she doesn't, she probably shouldn't. Not yet.
Derek. That word fall into her mind again as she stared up at the ceiling blankly. That image of him flickered into her mind's eye, like a television turning on. Slowly as the picture became clearer, she closed her eyes. Derek. she thought, almost sadly. The man that she wanted so much but couldn't have. The man who wooed her day after day even though it's against the rules, and even though he has a wife. The man who made her feel that she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Oh, Derek. she thought, this time with a realization. She wasn't over him.
Meredith is trying to get over him, but does she really really want to? She knows Addison is still in love with Derek, but she also knows that Addison definitely felt something for her. And she definitely knows she felt something for Addison. A threesome would just solve everything. Seriously. She thought with a sigh, flipping over in her bed and stared out of the window. The wind blew, shaking the branches and the leaves of the plant outside her room, casting shivering shadows over her face.
But how do you tell someone that you're falling for, that you still have feelings for her husband?
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"So here is the spot I was thinking about." Derek said, leading Addison towards the empty field where he thought would be a good idea to build their house on. Derek stopped, grinning at Addison as he swung his arms out, gesturing to the space around him. "What do you think?" he asked.
Addison looked around her, a grin spread across her face. "Wow." she breathed out. The view was great. They would be able to see the waters from here, and the sunsets and sunrises if they were in time to catch it. It was quiet, private and somehow, it gives a strange feel of security. She turned to Derek with a smile.
"Is that a 'yes'?" he asked. Addison nodded, then laughed as Derek ran to her and wrap his arms around her waist, giving her a smooch on her cheeks. They stumbled down onto the grassy fields and gaze up at the darkened skies. The sun was setting and the stars were starting to reveal themselves. Derek had his arms around Addison's waist as she leaned back against his chest. Suddenly, Addison wondered how it would feel like to be in Meredith's arms.
Derek took a gulp from the bottle of water he had brought along with him. Doc paddled away in front of him, sniffing the ground like he usually would. It's been awhile since Meredith had showed up for their morning walks and today, unlike any other day, Derek wasn't expecting her. They turned the corner of their usual path as Derek stopped for a moment, bending down to pick up a thick branch on the ground. When he looked up, the blonde that he wasn't expecting walked up to him with a smile.
"Meredith! Hi!" he greeted, genuinely surprised.
"Good morning." she said, bending down to greet the dog that leaped up into her arms. "Sorry I haven't been here to meet you the last few times. I wanted to sleep in a little later." she explained, then took the bottle as Derek handed to her. She twist off the cap and took a gulp before returning it to him.
"Ahh, being in bed is better than coming out here? There's fresh air, there's Doc, and more importantly, there's me." he said, shooting Meredith one of his McDreamy smiles again. Meredith smiled back, but it was somewhat forced. She didn't want to do it, but she know she had to. She doesn't want to be the one who string two people along, she didn't want to be like Derek. She had to make a choice. Meredith stopped in front of Derek, turning around to face him.
"Derek." she said, a smile still on her face. The smile on her face was the only thing that can make it less painful. At least, Meredith hope it would. "We need to talk."
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That day, Meredith was assigned to Derek. For what, she didn't know. But she hoped she was randomly assigned, and not requested. She walked up to Derek from behind, putting a smile on her face as she greeted him professionally. Derek looked up as she neared, throwing her a brief smile.
"Good morning, Dr. Shepherd." she said. Derek sighed, closing the chart in front of him.
"I have a surgery this morning. I need you to scrub in." he instructed, then without another word, he walked off.
It hurt for him to do so, but he had to. Derek had requested for Meredith to be with him today. Why? Because he needed to know, he needed to understand. What was it that made Meredith said what she said? That very morning, Meredith had showed up at the trail after days of wordless disappearance and told him she was trying to move on, that she wanted and that she needed to move on. And that they couldn't do this anymore. What Meredith meant by 'this', Derek wasn't sure. But he assumed that it was the secretive flirting that they eyes did now and then. He wanted to ask 'why?'. But not just yet. He would wait, at least, till after the surgery. Perhaps then it wouldn't be so awkward for the both of them. But will that be all it takes? For Derek to let go of Meredith completely and put in a hundred percent effort to his marriage? He didn't want to lose Addison, but at the same time, he wasn't willing to let go of what he had with Meredith, he wasn't willing to let go of Meredith. But he would. Derek would try to let go, just because Meredith asked him to.
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Derek looked through from the magnifyers attached to the front of his eyes, the surgical tools in his hands picking at the brain as Meredith stood on the opposite side of the operating table, peering down through the machine, watching as Derek worked on the jelly-like substance.
"Why?" Derek blurted out. He couldn't wait any longer. The curiosity was killing him. Meredith looked up from the lenses.
"Excuse me?" she asked.
"Why? Was there someone else?" he asked, but his eyes were still focused onto the operation at hand. He asked, because he knew, thatAddison wasn't here to hear the conversation. He couldn't feel her presence like he always would if she was gazing down from the OR gallery.
"Did you expect me to wait forever, Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith said, trying to lighten up the tension. Derek gaze up at her, seriousness reflected in his eyes. That was when Meredith understood, he really wants to know. But she didn't say anything.
"No. I don't expect you to wait--at all." Derek said, now waiting for Meredith's response. She sighed, her eyes wandering back down onto the lenses.
"But I was." she admitted."I was waiting, and hoping that someday, your marriage will fail and you will come back to me." It was the truth, and it sucked to have to say it in front of the entire surgical team because Derek was demanding for an answer.
"And then I decided that I shouldn't. It's time for me to move on." she continued. And it was your fault, you chose your wife. I shouldn't have to wait for you. she thought silently. "And yes." she added. "There's someone else."
Derek nodded solemnly. He knew he chose his wife and he shouldn't expect Meredith to wait for him, it wasn't fair to her. But he had wanted her to.
The surgery went by in awkward silence. Words exchanged were only on a professional level. After it was over, Meredith's eyes were everywhere else except on Derek. She needed to get out of the OR before her emotions get to her. As though noticing her needs, Derek spoke up.
"You are done here, Dr. Grey. Thank you for your help." he said as a form of dismissal. Meredith nodded and thanked him silently as she made her way out briskly.
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Addison frowned at the page that appeared on her pager. Then at this moment, the wrong moment, her husband walked by, greeting her with a peck on her cheek. "Hey." he said, casting a glance at her as he reached out and handed the file to the nurse who just happened to walk by.
"Hey." she greeted back almost half-heartedly, not looking up at him. "You ok?" he asked. This time, Addison looked up, throwing him a smile. "Yea."
Addison headed off casually, then turning swiftly and slided into the dark, supply closet and locked the door behind her. Thanks to the small slits in the air ventilator, the room wasn't completely consumed by darkness.
Under the dimmed light, Meredith looked up at the person who just entered the closet.
"You paged me?" Addison asked, making her way over and settled down on the floor beside Meredith. It was then that she noticed the glistering tear stains on the intern's cheeks. "What's wrong?" she asked, clearly concerned. Meredith brought her knees up to her chest and shook her head, tears threatening to pour out of her eyes again.
"I'm not over him." she choked out, only causing Addison to frown. Meredith turned to face Addison straight on, allowing the tears to now flow freely down her face. "Derek. I'm not over him." she explained. "I'm so sorry, Addison."
What? Addison thought. She swallowed, tongue-tied. She couldn't find the right words to say. The woman she was sitting right next to has just admitted that she still has feelings for her husband. And at the same time, this very woman is the one who clearly felt something for her. Thinking that it was best for her not to say a word, Addison stretch an arm over and drap it around Meredith's shoulders. As thought taking it as a cue, Meredith leaned over, burying her head into Addison's shoulders. And all Addison could do was to hold her. Addison had thought of just walking out of the room, but it wouldn't be fair. Meredith confided in her, she had comforted her the day before, and all Addison can do for Meredith right now is not to walk away.
"I told him there's someone else." Meredith whispered softly after the sobbings have subsided. Addison pulled away slightly, looking down at the intern in her arms. Meredith drew in a deep breathe.
"I meet him at the trail this morning, I told him I needed to move on, that he should stop giving me those looks and giving me those smiles to make me think that there is still something. Because he's with you, and it's not right, and that I wanted to move on." she explained, brushing a strand of blonde hair away from her face. "And in surgery he asked me why. If there was someone else. And I said 'yes'." she said, looking up into Addison's eyes.
Addison nodded, pulling Meredith into a hug, her chin resting on top of Meredith's head with a sigh. She knew that now, it was her turn to make a firm choice.
Author's Note : The length of the upcoming chapters may increase, I don't know yet. I'm thinking of going more in depth into each character's emotions, the building up of the Addison/Meredith relationship etc. Tell me what you think!