(35) DOCKINA:
The next day, examining the pictures...
George: Wow, we got TONS of new pictures of him.
Fred: How about this one, can we give this one away?
George: No, the pole hides everything in that one.
Fred (somewhat disgusted): How about this one? There's nothing hid
here, it's all hanging out. George (also disgusted): Oh, yeah. The
girls will love that one.
Harry and Colin enter.
Harry: Hey guys, check this out. We have more pictures of when he
went back to McGonagall's chambers with her.
Colin: Yeah, anyone who has a bad grade in Transfiguration is gonna
want some of these!
Harry (Showing the twins pictures of Snape on top of McGonagall
under the covers, both naked, in various positions): Uhm, it seems
that Snape and McGonagall went all the way last night.
(36) JUSTADAD:
Snape (entering his quarters at Hogwarts...very slowly): "ohhh sweet
Merlin, please let me get some SLEEP tonight"
Susan:(entering his quarters very quickly): "Snape...how could
you?...she's...she's...she's a teacher!", throwing down photos of
Snape and McGonagall.
Snape: "My dear Miss Bones has it occurred to you that I am ALSO a
teacher and that what I do with my time is my business?"
Pansy (entering room): "That may be but when you were with us you
told Susan and I that there was nobody else..."
Snape: "Ladies, we were under the influence of the Voldemort tutu
curse, I cannot be held accountable for what happened or what was
said, now please, I must get some sleep, kindly go on to your
quarters and we'll forget this whole thing happened".
OT: Note: file this under the "you knew it had to happen in this thread"
file...
Walking down hallway towards common room, Susan and Pansy look at
each other and both say "but what about the child?".
(37) CANDYSTAR:
three weeks later
McGonagall: um...Severus? I have to tell you something...
Snape: what? You're not regretting what we did three weeks ago are you?
McGonagall: on no not that! It was great! You were good!
Snape: so were you...
McGonagall: it's just that...well...i'm pregnant! Happy fathers day.
Snape: I'm a father! WHOO HOO!
McGonagall: you don't mind?
Snape: mind? MIND?'!'?'! Not at all. This is wonderful!
McGonagall: oh Severus! that's great!
(38) DANI IMAC:
Snape: I'm a father! WHOO HOO!
Everybody (and I mean EVERYBODY): IT REPRODUCES?'?'!'!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The next day, the front page of the Daily Prophet:
"After hell froze over yesterday...and pigs began to fly..."
(39) JUSTADAD:
The New Year at Hogwarts was starting on a bright and cheerful day,
not a rain cloud in sight and the students, who had arrived the
previous evening, were gathering on the campus taking advantage of
the late summer sunlight and warmth.
Ron, Hermione, and Harry were together on the hillside overlooking
the lake when McGonagall approached...
McGonagall: "Potter, have you, Grainger, or Weasley seen Professor
Snape by any chance?"
Potter: "No Professor, we haven't seen him since Potions, is there
anything wrong?"
McGonagall: "I am just trying to find out where our son is, along
with his half-brothers...three boys are a hand full and I don't know
if he is up for it."
Hermione: "Excuse me...did you say three?"
McGonagall: "Oh yes, thanks to Tom Riddle, Severus now has to
support his children by me, Pansy, and Susan Bones, the least he
could have done was include condoms with those damn tutu's"
(40) CANDYSTAR:
"Neville suddenly comes running up the hill (poor kid! I'm making him run a lot in this episode!)"
Neville: come quick! Snape & Lupin are fighting it out to death in the duel chamber/ Winner gets the girl! That's YOU professor McGonagall.
McGonagall: WHAT?'!'?'! Oh no not the two most sweetest men in Hogwarts! We gotta stop them!
"Neville/Harry/Ron/Hermione/McGonagall all run to the duel chamber, passing by Fred/George/Collin & Myrtle"
Fred: what going on?
Neville (panting hard): its...Snape...Lupin...fight over McGon...to death...in duel chamber! Must stop them!
Collin: what! "looks at Fred/George & Myrtle" lets go!
(41) DOCKINA:
Everyone reaches the dueling chamber and immediately grabs the
dueling Snape and Lupin.
McGonagall: Snape, remember the children! You can't get killed now!
They need you!
Snape: Who says that I'm going to get killed! I'm going to do the
killing!
McGonagall: No, you can't! I love Lupin too!
Lupin: See, Snivelus, she loves me too!
Snape: Shut up werewolf! I don't want you anywhere near my children!
McGonagall: Don't worry Sevie, I will keep our child safe. You can
take care of him when I spend time with Lupin.
Snape: You expect me to babysit while you have your little romps
with him!
McGonagall: Well, he is your child too! You should take some of the
responsibility.
They continue arguing in the background.
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Collin, Myrtle, Neville (all
looking at each other): This is too weird!
Dumbledore enters the chamber and...
(42) CANDYSTAR:
Dumbledore: THAT IS ENOUGH! Remus? Minerva & Severus have a child together so leave the Snape family alone. Besides your TRUE love awaits you but Dora Tonks said she was shy & wanted me to inform you. So go to her!
Lupin (big silly grin): REALLY! Uh...Severus? Truce?
Snape (stiff as ever): yeah whatever!
"Snape/Lupin shake hand/paw & Lupin leaves to find Tonks"
Lupin: you really love me?
Tonks: oh yes!
Lupin: I have a bit of a problem, though. Its love-biting.
You'll get turned into a werwolfess!
Tonks: well its not like it'll kill me. I'll just go crazy on full moons.
Lupin: we could go crazy together?
Tonks: I like the sound of that.
Lupin: me too! Your room or mine?
Tonks: mines closer! Lets go!
Lupin: whhoo hoo! Yeah baby!
(43) JUSTADAD:
OT: Oh I'm sorry for this...but I can't pass it up...
Ron is helping with the photo development; he spies a picture of he
and Hermione after the tutu removal and thinks: My Wand...Look at My
Wand...
(44) DANI IMAC:
(OT: I meant to put this in the original, but I feared what people
might think…seeing as we got deleted, I'm not passing this
opportunity again)
Ron: I could totally be featured in Playwitch weekly! I look good!
OT: Candystar, Lupin and Tonks? lol
Lupin: so, here we are
Tonks: oh yeah
Lupin: say...aren't you a shape shifter?
Tonks: er, yes, why?
Lupin: well, why don't we spice things up a bit?
Tonks: oohh, I see what you mean...What will it be? A nurse, or ...
Lupin: I'll describe her
Tonks: ookeey
Lupin: tallish, black hair, preferably in a bun, square glasses,
stern look...
Tonks is changing as Lupin speaks
Lupin:...tight lips, tight bum...
Tonks: LUPIN! DID YOU THINK I WASN'T GOING TO NOTICE?
Lupin: meekly oopsies?
Tonks: oh what the hell, it's been a while
Lupin: that's the spirit!
(45) JUSTADAD:
Harry, Ron, and Hermione are walking down the hallway towards the
Fat Lady.
Suddenly they are passed by a very happy Lupin who is singing while
walking down the hall.
Lupin: "Good Day, isn't it a lovely day?"
Harry: "Yes Professor, simply marvelous"...looks at Ron and
Hermione.
As Lupin proceeds on Hermione explains: "He saw Tonks again last
night".
Ron: "But it was a full moon...she wasn't bitten was she?"
Hermione: "They found out it doesn't matter, she can turn herself
into a wolf anyway and while in that form the bites don't count...,
there is one thing though..."
Harry: "What's that?"
Hermione: "Tonks is worried; Lupin told her he wants to have a
bigger litter than Severus' three pups."
(46) CANDYSTAR
Tonks: is this just another way of fighting with Severus? Well ok FOUR pups but no more!
OT: AHHHH DOCKINA! Snape & McGonagall under covers?'!'?'! HELP ME! That was hysterical!
(47) JUSTADAD:
OT: Time to move it back down a notch
Dumbledore: "Harry, in reflection I seem to have forgotten
something"
Harry: "what's that Professor?"
Dumbledore: "I don't seem to know what happened to Voldemort after
we removed the Tutu's from the students."
Harry(slight smile):"OH...that was Hermione's idea...we used a
Lockhart memory charm on everybody to remove any...embarrassment"
Dumbledore: "Harry, is there anything else you wish to tell me?
Harry: "well...it's like this…Voldemort got away, but we figure
nobody was going to be scared of a naked 80 year old Wizard
anyway...we used the time turner and went back so that Snape and
Lupin did not get out of control with Professor McGonagall and Tonks
(Dumbledore looks at him curiously)...oh, that's right you don't
know...Snape had children with a number of folks after the tutu
incident...and we just prevented that from happening...Lupin and
Tonks did not get together...We saved the honor of Susan and Pansy
so that the lawsuit filed by their parents against Snape and the
School never happened...in short, we fixed just about everything."
Dumbledore: "About? Everything..."
Harry: "Well; there is this monkey with a tutu, and Hermione keeps
smiling at Ron."
(48) CANDYSTAR:
Harry (looking at some pictures): I cant ever shows these to anyone...Oh well! My own. My preccccciiooooss!
(49) JUSTADAD:
At the same time Hermione is in her bed and looking at some Photos
of her own...Oh Ron, it's a shame we had to erase your memory too
but I have these moments preserved in film to remember...my Ron...my
wand...LOOK at my wand
(50) DANI IMAC:
Ron: hey Harry, have you noticed that Hermione is being nicer to me?
Harry: er- yeah?
Ron: maybe she does like me after all!
Harry: you never know
Ron: I told you, no girl can stand the Ron Weasley charm
Harry: oh yeah, it was your "charm" all right! Apparently, you
have "a lot" of it
Ron: well, it runs in the family
Harry: oooh that explains why Perce could get himself a girlfriend!
Aaah, it's all so clear now...talk about a lucky Penny...
(51) JUSTAMOM:
Weasley is our king...Weasley is our king...
Ginny: Shut Up Hermione, I'm trying to study