A/N : Thank you for all your reviews! Yea, I hate it that AdDek has to part but it's just in this fic only, you know. It's an Addie/Mere slash so I guess I'll have to keep it that way till the end, eh? Anyway, here's the last chapter of this story. It's actually the longest out of all 15 chapters. Enjoy!
Nights ago, it was what Addison would like to call "One last sex" with her husband. Her husband by law, by name, but by emotion she wasn't so sure anymore. Actually, no, she was sure. She should be sure the very night she made it happen for one last time. But sometimes, she couldn't help but look back and miss the times when they were happy and want things to go back the way it was. "But it's different now. There's no way." she always told herself. Now the only thing she needs to figure out is how to break it to him. She could file a divorce, again, but on what account?
And on the day of the very night, there was something else. Ellis Grey had passed away, unfortunately, and somehow, the rest of Bailey's interns learnt about the secret affair between Addison and Meredith. That night, Addison should have offered to stay with Meredith, to comfort her, but instead, she felt that there was something she needed to do and it couldn't wait.
"Look after her for me, Stevens." Addison had said. Izzie nodded as Meredith walked into the house after Addison dropped her off, almost zombie-like.
"I'm her friend too, Dr. Shepherd, I will." Izzie had promised. Addison nodded with a smile, starting to walk back to her car when she turned her head just in time before the door closes.
"Thanks, Izzie. And..it's Dr. Montgomery... soon." she corrected before heading off, leaving Izzie standing by the door with her mouth gaping.
The day after, Derek and Addison woke up in each other's arms. Addison, who wanted to stay awake to watch her soon-to-be ex-husband sleep, had dozed off with her head resting against his chest.
"Good morning." Derek had greeted her with a smile, planting a kiss on the top of her forehead. She didn't want it to end so soon, she wanted more. Instead of letting him go, she pulled him back, having another intimate moment before the time constrain force the both of them to work. Over breakfast, he had asked about the day before, about what happened to Meredith.
"Ellis is gone." Addison had said softly, like it hurt her to say it. Derek had tried to control his reaction, trying not to be too curious or too indifferent about it.
"Is she alright?" he had asked, and Addison nodded in response. There was a quiet, awkward moment between them over the breakfast table. Then, finally, he asked. "What's going on between you and Meredith?" Addison froze at the question. What was she going to say? That she was cheating on him with his ex-girlfriend the day after she gave him great sex? Instead, she said, "Well, after so many months of working together, we kinda became friends."
"Kinda became friends?" he echoed her statement, turning it into a question.
"Yea." she said, not giving anything more, and he nodded, pretending to be satisfied with the answer. His wife and his ex-girlfriend have became friends, accepted each other's existance on the planet and actually like each other as human beings. But as for him, he was still conflicted over his final choice of it being his wife. Derek realised he didn't want to be alone, and after Meredith had told him she found someone else, he promised to himself that he would work on his marriage for real. However, he had not been acting like what he had promised to himself. Suddenly, he realise that there were alot of new things about his wife that he wasn't aware of. Like her being friends with Meredith, like he don't know the new friend of Addison whom she had been hanging out with. Why? Because he never asked, they never talk anymore. Words exchanged between them were normally work-related, they don't get into each other's personal space anymore. And then there was the occasional sex, just like how things were back in New York. Sometimes, Derek noticed it, that things were back to where it was before he found her and Mark together. But he told himself he can be allowed more time, because Mark isn't here with them, because the friend Addison has been hanging out with is a female, because there's no one possible from the hospital that she can screw around with. They were safe here, their marriage in Seattle was safer than it was back in New York. At least here, Derek can take all the time he wants without worrying that Addison would do what she had done before--running into another's arms.
A few days later, the funeral of Ellis Grey has been arranged, almost everyone from the hospital attended. Everyone that knew Meredith or Ellis, which included Addison and Derek Shepherd. Richard almost had a heart attack when the news reached him, it took him more than just awhile to get over it. "Ellis isa dear, oldfriend to me." He had said over the stand, being one of the people that had known Ellis personally for a long while. During Meredith's speech, she had been surprisingly, calm and collected.
"I had not known my mother all that well." she had said. "I believe some of you who are here would know her better than I actually do." her words brought a hint of bitterness. "Hours spent by the hospital were actually longer than those she spent with me. I know she's there, and she's just there, but never really there at all." At that sentence, she paused, taking in a few slow, deep breathes, her gaze fickering to the ground. Then, she looked up to the expecting audience again, forcing a smile on her face. "But she's my mother afterall. And I love her, I do." she said, almost like a confirmation to herself than anything else. "Her death is sudden to all of us. My mother; she had been sick for a long time. But she made me promise not to tell anyone about it. You know, the great Ellis Grey, never wants anyone to know her weaknesses." she said, trying to lighten up the tension in the room. It got a few laughs. "But maybe it's a good thing that she's gone now." she continued. "I'd like to think she has moved on to a better place, a place without sufferings. Still, I wish I had a chance to get to know her better."
Everyone wore black and white that day. Derek was dressed in a black suit without a tie, his hair combed back neatly. He gave Meredith a hug and a soft peck on the top of her forehead in condolence. Addison was too, in black. She was wearing a tank-top dress, a white ribbon below her bust. Her red hair was tied up in an elegant french twist. After she laid the white flower gently down onto the coffin, she pulled Meredith into an embrace, her hands stroking Meredith's blonde hair down in comfort. Out of all those who are looking, only five knew what was really going on between the two. Others that looked on just assumed that the wife and the ex-girlfriend had somehow, became friends, or that the wife was just being a big person to offer her condolences up to a person who has just lost a loved one.
Throughout the ceremony, the only contact between the Shepherds were as close as their thighs touching side by side, and after that, the both of them walked around with a sympathetic smile on their faces as they interact with some of their old friends who were too, taught under Ellis and some, Richard. The whole time, when they didn't need to exchange handshakes in introducing themselves, Derek had his hands placed around his wife's waist. A habit was just what it was. The common responses that they received varies. Ranging from "Oh, the Shepherds! I've heard alot about the both of you." to "I'm surprise you can find time for each other being world class surgeons. Must be alot of work." to "When are you two planning to come back to New York?"
Sometimes, their answers came out in sync and people would laugh and say things like "Oh, the both of you are just two peas in a pod." or "There's no question to why you both got married", or even "You're a match made in heaven." At that, Addison and Derek would just smile, laugh it off, share a look and give each other a peck on the lips. When they do that, responses they get became "Aww, aren't they cute together?". And soon, their responses became one sided. Either Derek would give Addison a peck on her cheek and go "That's my wife." or Addison would put an arm around Derek's waist and smile, saying things like "We get that alot." But in reality, the both of them were putting up a show, plastering a smile on their faces as they walk around, engaging in small talks together. Finally, catching sight of someone familiar, Addison excused herself from the group and her husband, grabbing a glass of martini as she approached the woman.
"Are you ok?" Miranda Bailey asked as Addison approached her. Addison nodded, taking a huge gulp from the drink in her hands. Miranda frowned at that action, excusing herself from her husband, leading the attending away.
"You don't have an alcoholic problem, do you?" Addison shook her head. She didn't know what to say, she just want to get away from being with Derek. Smiling all day and walking around with her husband's hand around her waist was a pretence, and she was tired after pretending for such a long time. Miranda took a glance towards Derek who was still interacting professionally around with the guests. It was hard not to, considering the both of them were world famous surgeons. They stopped by a table, leaning against it. Addison's eyes were distant, not even turning for a brief eye contact with the resident.
"You haven't told him, have you." It was more like a statement that a question, and Addison nodded to clarify. She sighed, turning to Miranda for the first time.
"What do I tell him? How am I suppose to tell him?" she asked. Miranda shrugged and grabbed a glass of champange.
"I can't help you there, Addison."
It went on for awhile before everyone started to leave. Derek had gotten a chance to speak to Meredith privately, but Addison had chose to keep her distance, just in case. Before the Shepherds reach their car, Addison stopped. "I left something in the house." she lied, then instructed her husband to wait for her in the car while she return to get it.
In the house, the interns were helping to clean up the mess, all of them looked up when the door swung open. Addison stepped in, her gaze locking with Meredith's. It took awhile for the rest of them to exit the living room.
"Hey." Addison had greeted, unsure of whether she should smile or maintain a neutral expression. It was Meredith who smiled first.
"Hi." she said. Then there was an awkward silence.
"Are you ok? I.. I'm sorry I couldn't"
"No." Meredith cut her off, laying down the plates gingerly on the table and headed towards Addison. "I understand." she promised. "And I'm ok. Really."
At that, Addison smiled, also relieved at the absence of alcoholic stench around Meredith. Addison reached down, taking Meredith by her hands for a moment, unsure of what to say. So instead, she leaned foward, giving the blonde a soft kiss on her lips. Meredith's lips parted, kissing back for a brief moment before they pulled away. Addison looked up, blushing as she saw Alex standing by the doorway of the kitchen. Before she could say anything, Alex spoke up.
"It's alright. Go. We'll take care of her." he promised. Addison gave one last lingering look at Meredith before leaving the house, but not before thanking Alex for his promise.
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It had been a few days after Ellis Grey's funeral. The interns sat by their usual table, discussing their morning assignments as usual.
"So, how long has it been?" George blurted out. That day, Callie's lunch break was different from that of George's. At that question, everyone turned to him, Cristina with disbelief, Alex with a frown and Izzie with a warning glare. Then Meredith smiled after the short period of awkward silence with George mumbling an apology.
"No, it's ok." she said. "A little more than six months." she admitted, and at that, Izzie's mouth dropped open in a mixture of shock and surprised.
"She's the mysterious hot date!" she figured out.
"Shh!" Meredith hissed. "Not so loud!"
"Seriously?" Cristina mused, munching onto her salad. "How? Why?"
Meredith shrugged, taking another bite of her sandwich. "It just...happened."
Alex let out a snort. "And who initiated it?" he asked bluntly. And Meredith's response had got all of them staring at her with disbelief.
"Me."
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It was a little over a week after the funeral. Addison and Meredith had a day off each, but was unaware of each other's schedule. Miranda Bailey had decided to stop assigning Meredith to Addison for awhile, allowing the both of them to clear their minds on different issues. Addsion lay in bed on a Saturday evening, a book in her hands as she read it through her maroon framed glasses that sat on her nose. Then, her cellphone rang. Without looking at it, she picked it up.
"Montgomery-Shepherd." she answered.
"Hi." the familiar voice sounded over the receiver. At the voice, Addison's attention was taken away from the book.
"Meredith!" she called out, surprised.
"Busy?"
"No.. no. I had a day off." she said. Meredith laughed over the phone.
"Funny. Me too."
Then there was silence. The both of them haven't spoken much over a week and it was as though exchanging of words now was awkward.
"I missed you." Meredith said softly. Addison placed a bookmark on the page and left the book by the bedstand. She took off her glasses with a sigh, and surprising Meredith, she said, "Me too."
Then, there was silence again.
"What happened to us?" Meredith laughed, trying to lighten the tension that was starting to build up. On the other side of the phone, Addison smiled.
"Yea, well. I don't know." she said. Meredith drew in a deep breathe and let it out loudly.
"So, what have you been doing all day?" she asked, twirling a strand of her dirty blonde hair as she sat on her couch, knees brought up to her chest.
"I've walked Doc, rearranged my shoes, vaccumed the house, watched the tv and well, was reading a book before you called."
Meredith chuckled. "And I've cleaned out my closet, folded every piece of laundry, made everyone's bed, cleaned up the house, rearranged the cabinets..." Addison laughed, cutting the intern off.
"God Meredith, you're boring." she said.
"I'm bored." Meredith corrected her. "And I'm still bored. You're not much better either." she teased.
Addison glance up at the clock sitting on the bedstand. "You wanna come over?" she offered. "Derek's staying over at the hospital tonight, he wouldn't be home at all. We could watch a movie, have popcorn and I don't know, catch up."
Meredith thought for a second. "Where's your house?" she asked. "I've never been there before." At that, Addison laughed.
"It's still where it is. Except that when you reach, you'll be seeing an actual house instead of a trashy trailer."
"Alright, I'll be there in twenty minutes. You need me to bring anything?" she asked, already standing up from her couch, ready to go over.
"Nope." Addison said. "I've got everything here."
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True enough, the bell to the Shepherds' house rang after twenty minutes. Addison bounced down the stairs wearing a oversized white tshirt and a pair of Derek's boxers, her glasses still resting on her nose. She had gone back to reading after the phone call with Meredith ended. She opened the door, greeted by a grinning blonde. She smiled, stepping aside to let her in.
"Cute." Meredith said, checking her up and down. "Glasses." she pointed out. At that, Addison took it off.
"Oh shut up." she said, causing the blonde to chuckle.
Meredith stood on the spot, taking a long moment to check the house out. Then Addison slipped her arm around Meredith's, dragging her towards the living room. "C'mon, I'll show you around first." The tour started from the living room, to the kitchen, then to the dining room. Meredith traced her fingers over several furnitures as they passed, staring with awe at the luxurious living standards of the Shepherds. Then, they headed towards the stairs.
"We have three bedrooms." she explained with a light laugh. "We turned one into a room where we can do our work in, another one into a guest room and leaving the largest one to be our bedroom." she said, leading the way to the guest room first.
Not long after, the both of them ended up in the bedroom, Meredith took a step inside, her eyes wandering around the entire room. "It doesn't take an idiot to know you definitely decorated the whole house." she commented, settling down at the edge of the bed. Addison smiled, closing the door casually behind her.
"Well, thanks." she said, heading towards the rack of movies as Meredith checked the room out. "Any movies in mind?" she asked. Meredith shook her head. "I'd prefer humour or a chick flick." she suggested. Addison nodded and drew out "Mean Girls", waving it in the air. Meredith laughed at the choice.
"Seriously?"
"Yea, why not?" Addison frowned.
Receiving a shrug for a response, Addison headed towards the DVD player, ready to insert the disc when a pair of skinny arms wrapped around her waist. She dropped it, giving a yelped of surprise.
But instead of hearing playful laughter that she had expected, Meredith spun her around, her eyes gazing up into Addison's with a smile. Addison looked down to the arms that were still locked around her waist with confusion, but when she looked back to Meredith, expecting an answer, all she got was a smile. Slowly, but almost suddenly, the blonde reached up, her hands sliding underneath her oversized shirt and up her back, pushing her forward for a kiss. Their lips locked, heat seared through Addison's body as she caved in, her lips parting to kiss the blonde back. Instead of feeling awkward with the hand on her bare back, she felt a strong desire. She dropped the disc cover to the carpetted floor, her hands running through Meredith's hair as she pressed on, willing the kiss to go on. Then, it slowed down, their lips parting, foreheads touching gently as their arms hung loosely around each other.
"I really missed you." Meredith whispered. At that, Addison smiled, tucking one side of her hair behind her ear. "I missed you too." she said, then leaned forward for a kiss softer and slower, with more passion than lust. Their lips parted, tongues roaming around each other's mouth as their bodies moved, ending up with one of their bodies pressed up against the wall. Their positions flipped, and in the midst of the kissing, Addison reached to the switch and pushed, switching the lights off. She pulled away, the both of them catching their breathe. She felt Meredith's hands moving behind her back, her fingers carassing her skin softly.
"Oh, Meredith." she called out, leaning forward for another kiss, her fingers working subconsciously to pry off the jacket on the thin blonde's shoulders, then proceeded to grope under her long sleeved sweater. They moved away from the wall, stumbling over each other's feet and now slumbed down onto the bed. They stopped again, admiring each other's beauty in their own way. Addison brushed a lock of blonde out of Meredith's face, mesmerized by the beauty as the moonlight shone into the room, dancing shadows casted on her face. She licked her lips. Meredith looked up to the attending, her hands still under the shirt, her eyes staring into Addison's. For a second, in the dark, she thought she saw them twinkle. Like the stars. she thought. Then slowly, her fingers grip around the hem of Addison's shirt as she pulled it up, uncertain at first. She remembered the first time that she had done it, Addison pushed away and tug her shirt down. But this time, the red head allowed it to go on, her own hands sliding under Meredith's shirt, sliding down her stomach as they headed straight to the button of her jeans. In a smooth motion, Meredith pulled the shirt over Addison's head as she wriggled out of her pants.
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Derek Shepherd pulled over into the driveway of his house, killing the engine before heading straight to the front door, like he would do every day after work. He had told Addison that he was to stay in the hospital for the night but instead, he came home. There was nothing much there left for him to do, and as much as he loved it at the hospital, the beds there are never as comfortable as his own back at home. He walked past the dog, leaning down to give a ruffle to his head as he settled the keys down on the kitchen counter. Gulping down a cup of water, Derek hung his coat on the hanger and headed up stairs, preparing to give his wife a surprise.
He walked up the stairs, his mind wondering on the things his wife could be doing. Then, a giggle could be heard. He froze at the sound, blinking in confusion. It sounded familiar, but it definitely did not belong to Addison. He waited, hoping to hear more in hope to clear his confusion but there was silence again. He proceeded up the stairs, heading straight towards his bed room.
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Their lips locked, hands roaming around each other's bodies under the sheets. Addison's head laid on the soft, fluffy cushion as Meredith's body hovered above her, a smile spread across the blonde intern's lips. They were so caught up in their own action that they didn't even hear it coming. They did not hear the engine of the car that pulled into the drive way, nor did they hear the jingle of keys before it was slotted into the lock of the front door. Maybe those were sounds so familiar to Addison that it did not even register to her that her husband was home. In her mind, it was filled with the enjoyment of her girlfriend's company, and on the fact that her husband wouldn't be home for the night.
The door to the room swung open with Derek standing in the doorway, confused by what he was looking at in front of him. With the both of them under the sheets, it took him a moment to realise what he was staring at. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something but the people underneath the sheets parted, one rolling off the other as one of them emerged, a look of shock and surprised crossed her face.
"Derek." she breathed out, brushing her messy red hair out of her face, both staring at each other, speechless. And like the night he had walked in on his wife with Mark, Derek walked out of the room without a word. Addison grabbed her shirt off the floor and rushed out, catching up with her husband as he descended down the stairs. "Derek." she called out again, but unsure of what else to say. This time, instead of just packing and go, Derek turned around to face her as he reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Again!" he shouted, his voice rang through the large house. "Why, Addison. Why?" Addison stared down at him, licking her lips as she tried to come up with an explanation. Derek hasn't got to see the other person that was under the sheets, and Addison wasn't planning on telling him.
"You said you were trying." she said, and that was all she could manage. Derek shook his head, spinning around and started towards the living room. It was deja vu all over again for the both of them.
In the bedroom, when Meredith was sure that the both of them had left, she slided out from the sheets and wrapped it around her, following the couple, but stayed hidden. She wasn't intending to leave, she wanted to know what Addison would do because this is the very moment when the older woman would be force to make a choice. She stood at the top of the stairway, her body hidden safely from the both of them as she listened to the exchange.
"Der--"
"I was trying, Addie. I have been trying!" he cut her off. At that, Addison gritted her teeth and shook her head.
"Not enough, Derek. It wasn't enough." she said, her volume not matching his.
"Not enough? You slept with Mark, Addie. The fact that I took you back was more than enough for you!" he spat out.
"Then why?" Addison asked, her voice now matching the anger in her husband's. "Why did you come back to me? Why did you choose me when all you want is for me to be your bedwarmer? We don't even talk anymore, Derek. You said you were going to try, but in your mind, you were still thinking about Meredith!" she argued. Tears were brimming up in her eyes, of anger and of hurt. She brushed them away angrily, looking away from her husband. If he wanted to pack up and leave again, Addison wasn't going to track him down and try to win him back a second time.
"And you dare tell me you weren't thinking about Mark, at all?" he retorted. "And that night, what was that night all about? The scented candles, the skimpy red outfit, the everything?" he gritted his teeth, feeling his own tears threatening to come. Addison looked away, unable to answer the question.
"You were planning all this, haven't you?" Derek asked, his voice tight with anger. "You decided that it was going to be the night where you will have it all with me for one last time, and then--" he drew in a deep breathe. "You took advantage of me!" he yelled.
"I'm sorry." Addison apologised softly, feeling the tears stream down her face. Derek shove a hand roughly through his hair. It was Mark the first time, and this time, he didn't get to see the person. He needed to know.
"Who is that?" he demanded, pointing a finger up towards their bedroom. "Who is that in there? Your new friend that you lied about being a female?"
Addison shook her head, wiping the tears away from her face. She couldn't tell him, she couldn't bring herself to. But she didn't need to. From the stairways, Meredith took a step out, heading down with only the sheets around her body. She brushed her blonde hair away from her face as she looked down at Derek, standing a small distance behind Addison.
Derek's mouth fell open when he saw the person that emerged out from behind the shadows. His arm fell limply beside his body as he looked from Meredith and Addison with disbelief. From Derek's reaction, Addison knew Meredith had shown herself, made their affair known wordlessly.
"Why?" Derek managed, but it was barely audible. Addison turned to face him, her voice firm this time.
"I'm sorry Derek, this is our choice."
A/N : So I was thinking of writing an epilogue for this, maybe a sequel after that. Of course, only if you people want to read it. LOL. So yes, this is the end of the story "Our Choice" (with an epilogue in consideration). I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
- Jess