I'm Not a Model
Chapter Thirteen
"I know that when I see you, I'm going to die. I know I'm gonna want you and you know why," Kairi sang. A real No Doubt fan to the end, I'll admit.
"... How many times are you gonna sing that song?" I always asked. Not like I hated her singing or anything, it just bothered me how often she'd sing it.
"I kinda always knew I'd end up your ex-girlfriend..." She smiled, and threw a paper ball at me. It was the same routine everyday in Study Hall. "I kinda like that song, even if it is a little old."
"... It came out like four years ago. That's almost like half a decade ago."
"The way you're wording it makes it sound like it's older than me," Kairi said flatly.
"Why do you like that song?" Honestly, with the way she sings it, you'd think she was obsessed.
"There's one part that I always thought about: 'Why'd you have to go and pick me, when you knew we were different, completely'. Kinda makes you wonder how we got together, doesn't it?"
"No, not really."
"Agh, Riku, you could atleast act intelligent just this once!"
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Yuffie asked. It was seventh hour study hall, also known as 'Waste Your Time' hour. She was in my my class this hour, even though she wasn't even in my grade level. She skips her real assigned class and comes here, where the teacher and her are actually good friends. She sat on the desk behind me, wearing beige shorts and a green t-shirt. I know it's not exactly cold outside, but it's summer not anymore.
"Look, it's not like we're going to have sex or anything. You just act cute and cling to my arm, and I pay you twenty dollars a week." It's not hard or anything, all the other girls at this school could do it if I bothered to let them.
"I'll give you a full week free if I get to see you make-out with him," she pointed to Sora. Sora, who had his head down on his desk, almost falling asleep, shot straight up at that.
"What? No, I'm not gonna be used as a device to get cheap pleasure!" He scowled at Yuffie, who had enough sense to look sheepish.
"Sora, you are a device used for cheap pleasure, so get over it. This time, we can use you for something that can save me money," I glared at him. "Maybe if I'm nice enough, I'll use the twenty I'd save and buy you another piercing or something."
"Oohhhhh, I see," Yuffie said, "Riku is Sora's sugar-daddy."
"What?" me and Sora said in unison.
"Well, when has Sora bought you anything, Riku?"
"Hey, she's right! I'm not buying you jack shit until you buy me something. I paid for that eyebrow piercing of yours, you better buy me something!" Sora slumped his shoulders, letting out a groan of protest.
"Fine, I'll buy you something. Will a bag of potatoe chips do?"
"No, thirty cents is no where near the price of your piercing." I heard a muttered 'Damn' as he sat back into his chair and pouted with his hands across his chair. "You're a spoiled brat, I swear it."
"No, you're just Sora's ho'" Yuffie laughed and I swiftly punched her on her bare leg. She scowled at the red mark I left and promptly grabbed my hair and pulled.
"HEY, no one grabs the hair!" I exclaimed as I reached up and grabbed her chest.
Yes, I went there. It's been too long since I fondled a girl and she asked for it. I feel violated when people grab my hair, so she should feel violated along with me.
Sora looked away like the little wuss he is as Yuffie's face went totally red. And who knew we were causing such a commotion to have everyone in class looking dead at us. Even the teacher was looking, but she wasn't saying anything.
"Ecchi!" I recieved a nice, hard slap for that stunt. I mean hard enough to make a loud clap sound and leave a mark. And she would yell a random Japanese word while slapping me. "You're a dirty pervert, Riku!"
"I'm not the one who isn't wearing a fucking bra!"
"Um... Riku... guys don't wear bras..." I heard Sora quietly point out.
"I am wearing a bra!" Yuffie exclaimed.
"I know when a girl's wearing a bra, and it didn't feel like you were wearing one," I said flatly. "Matter of fact, it was squishy, and soft...Usually, a bra messes the feeling up by either being kinda stiff, or made of some crappy material." I should of shut up before that, because before I even knew what happened I got a good, swift kick to the chin. Well, she had the perfect position to that since she was sitting on a desk and I was in a chair.
"You really didn't need to tell my business like that!" she screeched.
One of the students, a guy, who was watching us fight decided to speak up. "I thought it was obvious she wasn't wearing a bra. I mean, they shouldn't just jiggle like that..." I heard the door slam, and I noticed the teacher was gone. I wouldn't want to watch this either, because it just keeps getting more and more perverse. And it went from perverse to dangerous when Yuffie managed to conjure up a few shurikens...
"Okay, Yuffie, that's more than enough," Sora looked sheepish and a bit frightened. He was trying to calm the ever active girl down, which seems like an impossible task right now.
"He touched me!" She pointed accusingly at me. Sora leaned close to her ear and whispered something that made her look as if she was calming down. "You promise?" She asked. Okay, what the hell was he telling her? I really wanted to know, since it seems like something really good.
"Yes, I promise," Sora said, and Yuffie gave me the most sinister of looks.
"Guess who I get to go home with after school today?" she asked. Dear Lord, NO. "I get to go home with you, Riku! Well, I should, seeing how I'm your girlfriend and all," she announced loud enough for the whole friggin' school to hear. Well, atleast she's doing what she's suppose to do.
I glared at Sora. "What the hell did you tell her?" I hissed as she kept giving me the 'Evil Eye'. My chin was still sore from Yuffie's foot colliding into it, so I was rubbing it, looking like a complete dumbass.
Sora looked sheepish for a second before going through a folder on his desk. He pulled out a piece of paper and grabbed a pencil and started scribbling stuff down. He put his pencil down and gave me the paper. It said:
"I kinda told her she could watch me give you a blowjob to make her calm down.."
Of course, I picked up a pencil, and wrote on that exact same sheet of paper:
"What? You've never done it before and why the hell should she watch something so personal!"
He wrote:
"Come on, it's not like we're actually gonna do it."
My response:
"You really don't know Yuffie. What ever she wants, she gets. One way or another."
Of course, Yuffie took personal interest in what we were writing, she reached from her perch on the desk behind us and snatched the paper. She gave long 'Hmmmmmm' before looking at us again.
"Riku's right," she said. "I always get what I want, and if you two don't cough up the goods, I have kunais and shurikens to help persuade you."
"Sora, this is all your goddamn fault," I glared as he sulked in his seat. Damn right he better sulk. He has no idea what he has just gotten us into.
School had finally let us out for the day, and Yuffie was still with us, sadly. She was smiling broadly, and it reminded me of how Kairi would smile. Of course, when Kairi smiled, it didn't usually bring terror, unlike Yuffie's. Speaking of which, the tall, lanky girl hand herself draped onto my shoulders, giggling her head off. She had her head on my shoulder and arms around my waist, really looking as if she was my real girlfriend. Sora was walking beside us, not really saying anything. He never really talks when we're around other people for some odd reason, and I'm just now realizing that.
"This is gonna be so much fun!" she said into my ear.
"You are one weird sicko, you know that?" I asked sarcastically.
"Oh, such harsh words coming from the guy who is going to finally get blown today all thanks to me," she cooed evilly in my ear. I stopped walking, because something she said bothered me.
"How do you know I've never gotten a blowjob?"
"Don't you know how girls are?" she asked as she let me go and stood up straight. "Me and Kairi were the best of friends, if you remember. Girls can't keep quiet about doing pervy stuff with their boyfriends or some random jock on the football team. The most perverted thing she told me you two did together was when you slid your hand up her skirt and into her panties," Yuffie finished, placing her hands on her narrow hips.
I stood there shocked. I mean, Kairi would actually tell our business like that, especially to this big-mouthed girl? "She actually told you that?"
Sora wasn't listening, or at least trying not to. He was looking down the street, looking at the cars that drove through the intersection.
"Girls have big mouths, ya' know, and Kairi wasn't an exception." She patted me on the shoulders, "But you touching her like that was pretty manly, Riku. Who knows what you're going to do to Sora though. It's not like he doesn't wear underwear or a skirt, so you're going to have a little trouble touching him like that..."
I walked over, grabbed Sora by his skinny arm, and proceeded to walk away from the girl who oddly knew everything. "Let's just hurry up at get the hell away from her, " I told Sora.
I shut the hell up though when I saw something shiny fly pass my head.
It eventually collided into a tree. I squinted as I heard Yuffie laughing to see what it was...
She threw a shuriken at me... How... scary.
"You're not leaving me so easily," she said as she walked up to us, grabbed us by our hands, and kept walking, dragging us behind her. I know we looked gay as hell, but it couldn't be helped. Three people walking down the street, holding hands. I'm on the left, Sora's on the right, and Yuffie's gladly in the middle.
"You know, it still bothers me that you probably know alot of my personal business," I sighed, letting her swing my arm along with her's as we walked.
"Yep, let's see. What has she told me? She said you let her take a photo of your ass once." Sora started laughing at that... Okay, it was funny, but still, don't laugh. "She told me you were too big a lazy ass to go get that tattoo on your back finished."
There was a reason for it being unfinished, atleast that's what I usually told myself. I wanted to take Kairi to the tattoo parlor on her birthday and have her watch it get finished. I know doesn't sound like anything special, but I wanted her to hold my hand while I screamed my ass off from the pain of the needle. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm too sappy for my own good.
I rolled my eyes as Yuffie continued naming things off. I looked over at Sora, who was listening to everything the girl had to say.
This is just messed up.
We were at my house. Sora was use to coming her, but Yuffie on the other hand...
"Riku, why does the garage door say 'Bite Me'?"
"He was mad at his mom that day, " Sora answered and she just gave him the weirdest of looks.
"And the broken window...?"
"He threw his shoe out the window."
"...Riku, you need help." She said, but I wasn't really looking since I noticed my mom's car was in the driveway. Great, just fucking great. Why did she have to be home at a time like this?
"Of course I need help, my mom's home," I said, making it obvious I was irritated. I walked across the lawn, Sora and Yuffie on my heels. I climbed the steps and knocked on the door. No point in me to look for my keys, mom can come open the door for me.
And when my mom did open it, she gave us a weird look. She was eyeing us suspiciously before actually letting us in. She looked at Sora with a distasteful look and didn't really pay Yuffie any attention. My mom let us in, before asking, "who is this?" She pointed in Yuffie's direction.
"Nobody you should care about," I answered coldy before moving past her and up the stairs, Sora and Yuffie quietly followed suit. My mom just rolled her eyes, before closing the door. She wandered off to parts unknown... I don't know where she went, I wasn't paying attention to her.
Leading them into my room, I shut the door.
"Okay," Yuffie said, "Let's get this show started."
"I'm not really giving him a blowjob," Sora said, his voice firm.
He's going to get himself killed.
Authors Notes:
Kinda rushed to get this out, but ya' know... No, you don't, and I'm not telling. I know you all missed me, but it's all good. I'm here, I'm alive... oddly. This chapter is just weird, even for my standards. This is what happens when you slack off for a few months when you don't have access to the internet: You get the craziest ideas. "Ex-boyfriend" by No Doubt inspired the first part of this chapter o.0 It was on my Winamp list, and it was playing when I tried to figure out how to start.
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