"...maybe it's because it's my first time even trying to go this far, or… I don't know - but that's why I need you - you've far more experience than I, and, maybe, together we can see much more." Padparadscha finished, trying not to sound so despondent.
'Everyone's already miserable enough…' The thought whispered to her, but she waved it away with cool courtesy.
Despite her own long ago internalised insecurities, Padparadscha continued to stand there in front of them with a scarce hidden pleading.
Yet, this rarely practised confidence could not last forever. As Padparadscha kept waiting, she could see more and more the thoughts ticking behind her friend's eyes. Try as they might to hide it, if but to be polite, she was not fooled. She all too easily spotted the familiar glimmer of doubt that graced Ammolite's visage.
She had learnt the tell-tale signs of that look quite thoroughly by now, having been on the receiving end of it from so many for so long.
On the surface she held her tongue, but within, unease gripped her core.
As was the case all too often, despite her initial firm front, anxiety raced to the fore once more, 'Did I sound too desperate? Or perhaps I was… agh! I should have-'
Her rapid self-criticisms were cut off as Ammolite stood up and said, "Alright, give me a moment."
Padparadscha stilled, both in mind and body. Her circuits skipped a ping, for realised she never quite thought she would quite get this far - she had no idea what to do, how to react. So again, she stood there, dumbfounded.
Then, the moment she understood that she had been taken seriously, her troubles seemed to just… melt away. Some of them at least.
A small, yet so very real smile crossed her face - to let Ammolite know that she appreciated their decision. Though it may have been little other than a few words to them, to Padparadscha, their agreement with her plan meant so much more. Naturally, while saving their lost kin took precedence over everything else, there was a small part of her that practically preened at their acceptance.
Eager to seek approval, it quietly spurned her on from the background by doling out a dose of enthusiasm; if, perhaps, doing so not for the most selfless of reasons…
For now though, it did not seem to be a major issue, and her mind soon returned to the matter at hand.
A flash of brilliant purple light filled her senses, then a twinkling ring echoed past her. Ammolite had split, leaving their components behind. They looked to eachother for a scant second, then a mutual nod prompted Pearl to take Sapphire's hand and guide them over. Afterwards, Pearl parted with them. They stood a ways behind and watched, anxious for what might come out of the fleeting yet fateful union.
Padparadscha let out a quiet breath. She also steadied herself for what she may find. Try as she might to continue being upbeat, there was always the ever present and disquieting thought that whatever the two would scry may only confirm their worst fears.
But she had already come this far. Turning back now would have been turning back on them.
"Ready?" Padparadscha asked.
She found herself taking the lead, presenting as reassuring a voice she could muster as she raised her hand towards Sapphire.
Evidently, though they again tried to hide it, Sapphire seemed surprised at her unusual level of initiative. So much so that, practised as they were in courtly behaviour, they spent a moment or two longer than was polite staring down at where their heightened hearing suggested Padparadscha's hand would be.
Again though, she held her tongue. No point in pushing any further when they had already agreed, Padparadscha felt.
"As much as I ever will be." Sapphire replied as they raised their own hand, doing their best to be courteous after their initial, awkward display.
Padparadscha obliged with a nod, guiding her own hand forwards to hold the blind seer's own…
…and then a figure solidified from the ensuing amalgam of light. Reaching just above Pearl in height and clad in a floor length aristocratic dress of regal purple, complete with the usual shoulder puffs, Lavender Sapphire appeared into the world. A first breath was taken there - a deep, drawn out inhale, followed by an equally drawn out exhale. Two pairs of arms, one of which was at the waist sides, stretched out and allowed the cool, subterranean air to whirl past them.
Then, her left eye - the one not covered by a gemstone - sprung open, and took in the world for the first time.
And as she did, Lavender could not help but succumb to that feeling. The one that had been in the air for days. That eerie pallor of deathly silence, which floated in place as fog and choked all life from the settlement that had once bustled with life.
It was a grim thing - to be the first sight she was witness to.
However, was it not the product of something to otherwise be cherished?
Half of her recalled old memories. In the gleaming megacities above, three people going missing may have only been noticed after an investigation, formed of apathetic strangers, was launched into why they were so late for their next shift. Here though? It was but a small community, everybody knew one another. Three people, and one of the community leaders nonetheless, going missing left a profound and palpable feeling of emptiness in everyone.
Yet, this show of emotion - this show of grief - showed that they cared. Cared enough to cry for the lost, and not to merely relegate them as some statistic, forever damned to be buried and never thought of again in the titanic Imperial Archives.
With a suppressed sigh leaving pressed lips, Lavender was filled with a singular thought that burnt of bright determination, 'This is exactly why I am right here, right now.'
They were here to help, to find what happened to the expedition - and if the worst came to pass, then to at least find closure. Closure so everyone could at last grieve, then, for however long it may take, move on…
'No. There is still a chance.' She thought, firm. These were some of the few people who had ever given a shard about her. She was not about to give up on them, not until she had done everything she could, 'It does not matter how small, I must try regardless.'
Though it was perhaps the more unyielding half of her formed by Sapphire that spoke then, the part of Lavender's consciousness formed by Padparadscha did not disagree either.
"Hey."
She jolted a little, but Lavender regained her composure soon after and realised that a hand had fallen on her shoulder.
A gentle squeeze from it got her full attention, and as it unclasped and slipped away, she turned around. Pearl stood there, right in front of her. From this distance, she could see as clear as crystal the wilted brows, wide eyes and thinned lips that held sway over their expression. There, upon their face, were the signs that spoke aloud of rising, if well-meaning, concern.
Instantly she wished to understand why, so Lavender asked, "Oh, uhm, is there something happening?" With a dash of confusion spilt on her face.
"Sorry," Pearl began, "It was just that… you looked like you were tensing up alot there. Is… is something bothering you?"
"It really is that obvious, isn't it?" Lavender said, and an abashed look grew on her, "But don't worry, it's nothing dire - I hope. I was only… thinking."
Pearl's eyebrows rose at that, "About what?"
Lavender then contemplated if she should speak further. But there was already strong trust between them, and as always, there were only good, pure intentions in Pearl's eyes as they spoke.
So she revealed what ailed her without delay, "Rhodonite, Bolt, Pery… they're all good people, strong people, in their own ways. Still, I can't help but think that if Blue Diamond," She spat their name, then collected herself, "was involved somehow, then they might…" She trailed off, so the implications spoke for themselves.
Pearl nodded, solemn as she understood, "I know this must be difficult, to know the odds are against you before scrying, but remember-"
Lavender understood, "So long as I try."
As Pearl gave a weary, if still approving smile, and Lavender gave them a knowing nod back. Pearl had been fused as Ammolite on many occasions, and so was perhaps one of the few in existence not of the seer caste to truly understand how it is like to deal with future vision. In that, their support and input had much more weight to them. So Lavender appreciated that they had given it.
She felt mostly at peace on the inside now. As Lavender closed her left eye, Pearl's smile was a good last sight to see; something warm before she plunged far into the icy depths of the flow of fate…
…only for rays of tropical amber and rhythmic, gentle waves that lapped on sandy shore to meet her as she awoke.
Mouth agape, part of her was left blindsided by what was before them. These were not the perpetually overcast skies and sombre blue lands that part of her was used to. Under Sapphire's directive, Lavender scanned the sky, as if doing a double-take to see if what was before her was real. It was to no avail though. The horizon remained the same hue, of amber which faded into faint pink then strong purple, as though this dimension were wreathed beneath a perpetual sunset.
Padparadscha, though, did not seem to oppose them and allowed Sapphire to continue their search. She sat back, unbothered at the rear of Lavender's mind, as if expectant and patiently waiting for the other to do… something.
Entranced by Sapphire's daze, Lavender scanned the area. In her search she spotted that, despite its infinite width, the beach did not stretch very far inland. A little ways in, it was cut off cleanly by an equally infinitely wide hillside of low sloped coastal dunes. However, there seemed to be certain parts of this short sand wall that broke away and revealed either sheltered coves, or a number of flat, vast floodplains.
Floodplains which, in turn, seemed to have the all too recognisable fingers of river deltas which pierced through them. Though she could only see so much of these deltas before the dunes blocked her from tracing them back any further, Sapphire reasoned to herself that where there was a delta, the river that fed it was likely not so far behind.
With that in mind, she used her lower set of hands and picked up her skirt a little to keep it out of the sand. Then under Sapphire's uncontested control, Lavender moved towards the dunes. She trudged onwards, fiercely curious to see if the theory she had just come up with was true.
The dunes were at least not so steep, and so her pace was scarcely slowed as she worked the mild incline. When she reached the top, she looked over to her right at the closest flat floodplain. She followed it back along its course, past the limits of where she was able to on the beach.
She held back a smile, but within, temptation nonetheless itched away unchecked as she spotted what came next. She was right. There it was, perhaps a five minute walk away. The point where all the twisting branches of the nearest delta merged together into the solid trunk that was a single, united river.
The rush of rapids acted as a siren song to Sapphire. Unbidden portents of the golden fog aside, the call to peer into the rivers remained strong. For her whole life, the one place where Sapphire had truly felt in control was within the flows of the future. She could see everything there. She needed no guide there. No, she was the guide, stars be damned.
After everything, it was only natural that she would be drawn to it…
'Should I..?' The temptation drifted again through Lav- Sapphire's mind, even as she tried fighting off the compulsion to walk towards the river.
The memories of gold flashed brighter now, as though trying to warn Sapphire of her folly, 'but what if it will be different this time? Yes… maybe. Ah, no one would mind anyway.'
This time, Sapphire thought, she was fused to another of her own kind. Another seer. Perhaps with their powers combined, she may be able to endure through the burning fog. Then, at last, she could peer at the future it so jealously guarded behind. Not into the past, of what has already been, but instead of what has yet to be. Unlike the past, the future was malleable. The future could be controlled by her will, by her actions.
Sapphire spoke to herself, the words coming out of Lavender's mouth as a low, unsure whisper, "There's no harm in trying. For them."
A half lie - composed solely to provide ill-gotten comfort and to patch up ill-thought out rationale. Somewhere, within a small part of herself, Sapphire knew this. But the majority won out and silenced any dissent against it.
And so, she took one step forward…
…then the world around her collapsed. In an instant, the amber afternoon sky was smothered, and the deep, dark blue of midnight drank in every last ray of warmth from the horizon. Icy winds were whipped up, where they reached turbulent speeds as they flew past her, slashing away at her skin with knives of chilling cold. Even the very river ahead of her, and every river after, was not spared. From their calm, they were roused to violent churning. Each one exploded out of their once mighty banks, and the plains around them disappeared under a flood of frigid liquid.
Startled out of her stupor, Lavender froze for a scant second, her limbs locked solid and unwilling to obey her commands. Even her neck grew stiff, and left her unable to look away even as paradise was destroyed before her. Then, like a lagging holoscreen that suddenly registered the fervent button mashing of its desperate user, she burst into a flurry of uncoordinated action.
Lavender scrambled backwards with such haste that she had barely the time to register the contours of the dunes. With an unceremonious yelp, she slipped on the shifting sands and landed on her head. She lay there a while before she picked herself back up, letting out a slurred groan. Then, she looked down and dusted off her outfit in stern fashion.
"What was that!?" She hissed out, "Gah, it doesn't matter. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have-" In an instant, she stopped.
A ray of light pierced its way through the midnight, and Sapphire's panicked instinct caused Lavender to raise her hands up to shield her face. The golden light, it was here, she thought. It had escaped her memories and manifested itself in the realm of fate once more.
Yet, it was what she feared it to be. As seconds passed and a minute came, she realised it neither seared nor burned. No, it was not even near bright enough to have been the same thing.
Tentatively, she forced herself to bring her hands back down, and there, she saw the amber rays of the eternal sunset had returned. She turned around in confusion, and found that on either side of her, the rivers looked as though nothing had happened to them. They had resumed their old courses, and no longer were they large enough to break their banks. Their floodplains too had dried, as though they were never covered by a deluge in the first place.
She took a few deep breaths and calmed her mind. Now, full curiousity had settled in place of temptation, and she steeled herself as she inched forwards again.
The horizon, almost instantaneously, shifted into that deep blue hue. But this time, it was not the oppressive midnight dark. Instead, it almost seemed… natural, like the early night sky of any other planet. In fact, spots dotted across the sky seemed to almost twinkle at times, as if an emulation of the stars. The rivers too no longer had raging rapids. Though the flow may have quickened slightly, it was not much - barely above their speeds when she was on the day side, she reckoned.
To test an idea, she walked backwards a few steps. Sure enough, the lazy rivers and late noon sunset returned. A few more steps forward, and again, the blue night took its place
'Okay,' She thought, a small smile appearing as she eyed the floodplains, 'maybe this time it will work. So long as I know what to expect and I stay calm, everything should be fine-'
However, just as Lavender lurched forwards, Sapphire was overridden. Midstep, they were stopped by another.
"Please, no. Don't." Lavender spoke, any excitement in their voice had evaporated away.
Sapphire jolted. She had been caught in the act. Forced to think on her feet, she decided that - perhaps - with a little feinted innocence, she could probably get away with it.
"Don't do what?" Sapphire asked aloud, and thought nothing more of it.
Silence ensued. Then, Lavender's upper hands balled into fists. She took in a shuddering breath, the ensuing exhale heated by rippling irritation.
Padparadscha stole total control, if for just a moment.
Just a moment. And yet, it was still long enough for them, via Lavender to speak, no, to snarl out - through clenched jaws - five words.
"I'm not stupid, you know."
Lavender's good eye shot open, Padparadscha having immediately fumbled and dropped control. That had been Sapphire's reaction, for she was left at the helm once more.
Struggling for words, naught but erratic gasps and choked, half-formed syllables left Lavender's jittering mouth as Sapphire tried to come up with any sort of response.
"Wha- I- uhh.. Well! But the-"
Five words.
That was all it took for Sapphire's idea of Padparadscha to be shattered into a thousand pieces, never to be put back together again. In vain, she tried to rein it in, to keep it from collapsing. But it was of no use.
Five words already did so much damage, but the way they were delivered…
That was what truly smashed the hammer and chisel blow against Sapphire. She had never heard anything negative - nevermind such genuine, raw disgust from Padparadscha before; disgust which was only emphasised by their fusion together. The other seer may have gone dormant again, yet, Sapphire felt awash with the disgust that radiated from their hibernating mind as if it were her own.
It faded soon however, as Padparadscha returned to her usual self. Quiet. Unassuming. Never wishing to hurt anyone, even indirectly.
However, that very same swift forgiveness only gave Sapphire cause to feel worse. She knew it was not just her who took Padparadscha's kind nature for granted.
Again, it was their tone… their tone. She tried ignoring it, telling herself that it was unnatural, an anomaly. But she knew it was not. Sapphire found herself reflecting, a rare occasion, for her to look back instead of forwards in her life. There, she realised just how she and the others, perhaps with the exception of one, had always treated them. Feinted politeness being used as a mask to hide behind, to allow them to ignore or only half listen to Padparadscha - despite how much they tried to help in their own way - in the hopes it was enough to placate them indefinitely as the rest of them got on with 'more important things'.
Was it really so anomalous, so unnatural, to retaliate with disgust after being treated like that for millennia?
Indeed, now that Sapphire had taken time to reflect, even disgust felt as though it was a half measure. Why, if she were in Padparadscha's position, she would have exploded long ago…
Sapphire then paused. Completely.
Three words came next.
'I have been.'
Their experiences were not exactly the same, but they were similar in all the ways that mattered.
That same powerlessness. That blindness with but few respites. That feeling of being a burden, where others needed to look after you even while doing the most basic of activities…
'What have I done-'
Sapphire recoiled, and her part of the gestalt suddenly shirked back in preparation, for Lavender had begun speaking again - and it was not of her own accord.
"Sapphire, please, it's- it's a- alright," Padparadscha awoke, trying to get her to stop, "Don't worry, no one else will know… I w- won't say a word. Promise."
Silence reigned once more, and Sapphire was again taken at a complete loss. She slowed down, trying to process what had just happened. Why were they apologising? Was it not her who was in the wrong? Should not she be the one saying sorry? These and more were what she wanted to say, to tell Padparadscha how wrong she was. But…
"O- okay."
That was it. That was all Sapphire managed to croak out, meek. At this point, she had lost any will to say any more than what was needed. This was Padparadscha's plan, Sapphire reminded herself. It was not hers to hijack, not when she had failed already, so many times before.
And besides, after what she had done to them, not only now, but for thousands of years… it was the least Sapphire could do, to begin trying to make up for so much.
An awkward, pained peace fell upon the two. Lavender stared on in the distance, unmoving as both of her components waited for the other to take command.
In time though, Sapphire decided to create a distraction, to nudge away from what had just happened.
"So… how does the ocean factor into everything?" She asked, turning to the sunset sea once more.
The strained silence continued, but she did not press further. With how things were, she felt that it was best to give Padparadscha breathing room - to let them take their turn to speak through Lavender at their own pace.
Soon though they began, if slowly at first, "It is the past."
Sapphire resisted the urge to flinch. Padparadscha may have returned mostly to their usual cheery note, but beneath it, there lay an audible lilt. One that was never there before.
Then again, no one but her had ever managed to offend Padparadscha before, so…
Without any idea on how to resolve the tension, Sapphire continued trying to distract - both them and herself, "The past?"
Again, it took some time for them to begin again. And much to Sapphire's unease, the odd lilt remained, "Yes. I never quite knew why or how, but now that I am here, with you, I think I have s- some sort of explanation."
"Explanation? For what?" She asked, hoping her expression of curiosity would spur the other seer on.
"Hmm," A pause, "Do you normally see time as smaller bodies of water? Like lakes, rivers and the like?"
"Yes..?" Sapphire said, not quite understanding where this was leading.
Strangely enough, she was struck by a pang of… was that jealousy? Coming from Padparadscha as they heard her reply.
Despite this, they shooed it away without a second thought, carrying on with almost the same cheer as usual, "Well, for me, it has always been a huge ocean, without end. Together though, as Lavender, it looks like these two perceptions of time, future and past, have been merged."
Sapphire blinked, beginning to understand. If scrying the future was blocked off to her, then… "If we go into there," She said, pointing to the ocean, "can we see the past?"
"Exactly." Padparadscha said, "I think that eventually - just as a river eventually flows into a delta, which itself then leads into the ocean - there comes a point where the future becomes the present, then the present becomes the past."
However, just as the revelation sunk in for Sapphire, doubt sunk in too. Try as she might, it was hard to forget completely just how limited the other seers' abilities were.
Padparadscha seemed quick to notice as well though, but continued as if they had seen nothing, "And this is why I needed you here," they told her, and despite her efforts, the same doubt Sapphire felt was evident in their voice as it cracked then, "the shallows are easy enough to wade in, but they show only the most recent past - the freshest runoff from the rivers and deltas."
Realising her error, a burst of panic flitted through Sapphire as she backtracked, only for the solution she found being to distract further, "I see, so to brave the deeper waters long enough to divine anything from them, our fusion as Lavender is the key?" She asked, speaking perhaps with too much swiftness and eagerness.
"Yes!" Padparadscha said, they as well seeming all too eager to move on, "Fused as we are, it should be far easier to brave the waves. Though, to tell the truth, I've never peered any deeper than about a person's height, but hopefully it should be nothing too difficult. I mean, the water on the surface looks calm enough, and there's not much wind either - so the waves and currents shouldn't be too strong…"
They went for a while, speaking apace the whole time Sapphire noticed. Perhaps they had gone on for longer than necessary, as if their eagerness hid more than just a wish to escape the tension.
But what ailed them escaped Sapphire, for Padparadscha seemed to guard it well. Despite knowing this, after the previous spat, a small pit grew at her core at the thought of asking them further. She decided it was best to keep silent then, for in truth, she was of like mind, and also wanted to wrap up as soon as possible…
If only so the two could have some space between them.
So after a short pause, she replied with a brisk, "Fair enough," as she looked out to sea.
Fair winds, short waves and enough light still left to mark their way. Fair conditions for a swim by any definition.
'She is right, it really is calm out… shouldn't be too difficult then.'
What went unnoticed by Sapphire, however, was that the moment she thought of the ocean in that dismissive way, a short, sharp pang of fear flitted through Padparadscha and the waves grew in size - if but a fraction.
#####
With the upcoming dive in mind, Lavender began to shapeshift, and she emerged from the cocoon of light with her hair tied back and clad in a simple swimsuit that met her needs. In part of her, there was still fear then of their prospects. To be alone, floating in an endless abyss. But knowing what had to be done, Lavender ignored it as she exerted her will over the time dimension to scour it for clues.
Walking forth, she felt the surf wash across her legs, and the essence of the past began to soak within her conscious. A scowl formed on her features then - despite the tranquil surroundings. She could feel it, and more than but a mere trace. Even here, at the coast, its influence was strong. It sliced through the briny air, stinging the inside of her nose with the sharp and sterile scent of dense ozone.
Lavender stepped back, and her face kept scrunched as she did, 'Even here, I can feel where that damn thing is…'
As much as the golden light's influence spited her, at least she now knew where to look for it. Exerting control over the realm of fate again, her form buzzed to static and reappeared again over the open ocean, many miles away from shore. Falling into the sea, she left a soft splash in her wake. Lavender floated there, doing nothing except the occasional stroke or kick to keep from being pushed along or down by the waves.
Again, she tried buzzing to static, wondering if her appearance over the sea was a fluke. She had willed herself to be far deeper down, nearer to where the golden light was. But here she was on the surface instead. Lavender concentrated this time, closing her good eye as she took a deep breath. Yet, focused as her willpower was, she reappeared no more than a metre down and the waves simply pulled her back up.
The past, it seemed, was too dense to cut through.
She stayed at the surface for a moment and stared out to the boundless horizon. At first, she meant simply to let the calm backdrop clear her mind as she pondered how to best dive. Soon though, even as she was ready to go beneath, the other part of her found itself staring; unable to tear its gaze away.
'Boundless…' The waves grew again then, and she began to notice the turmoil.
That part of her itched for a look, to confirm if it was true. Under its direction Lavender spun around. Once, then twice, and then in desperation, thrice. Neither cycle showed her what she hoped. The ocean here truly was boundless… nothing but empty sea for miles around.
There was no one here. No one but her. No one to come for rescue if anything went awry.
The dread thoughts leaked in now, unbarred, 'How far out are we..?'
The waves grew in size and strength again.
She was forced to take notice now.
Her breathing tightened, and cold terror swept over when the weight of the infinite past rammed into her. The next wave, and the next wave, and each one beyond slammed against Lavender as they threatened to drown her beneath an entire universe's worth of history. Panicked, she gulped in short, horrified gasps as her paddles and kicks grew faster and more frantic just to keep up. Aimless she swam, for with no land anywhere, the most she could do was to keep herself above water.
Part of her screamed again, 'How far out are we!?' And her already titanic thalassophobia was sent careening beyond control.
As though they laughed at her fears, the waves raised their terrible shadows ever higher. The once gentle breeze too turned to stiff gales that howled at her. They mocked and taunted as they rushed past and whipped the waves higher still, sabotaging her struggle against the storm and turning it into a fight for dear life.
Heedless of her terror, or because of it, the waves soon grew too strong for her to stay still at all in the maelstrom. Completely overwhelmed, she could think of nothing and do nothing. She seized up, and her arms and legs failed her. Frozen solid, within moments Lavender sank as a block. Without any opposition, the next wave easily grabbed hold of her, and when it struck the sea, it pummeled her six feet below.
Yet, even hesitation failed as the ghostly stroke of the currents beneath the surface startled her into motion once more. Beset by panic again, the upper half of her began to buzz in static, trying to go back.
Closing her eyes, she wished to the stars this ordeal be over, that sand - not depthless void - be beneath her feet again.
This desire, however, would meet an obstacle far more obstinate than any force of nature. The rest of her remained stubborn - an immovable anchor that would shift at no one's and nothing's whim. Be it part of herself, or the very ocean she was but an insignificant speck within. Then, as the panic failed to subside, that part threw away mere opposition and cut in with direct intervention. Barging past, it ripped away control, and so with the protest silenced, she forced her body upside down.
Lavender gave a mighty first kick and stroke that sent herself shuttling onwards into the quickly blackening depths. The sunlit waters of the surface soon became an ever more distant memory, for each movement brought her further and further beneath the metaphysical waves.
'Calm. Steady. Forwards. Calm. Steady. Forwards…' The thought cycled over and over in her mind, rhythmic as her movements.
So singular and focused had Lavender become that she had barely the time to assess how her enforced calm had shrunk the waves above - and seemed to have a similar effect on the strength of the currents below.
Dimness sank to darkness, but still Lavender's momentum remained unbowed, unwilling to break even when she stared down the yawning abyss…
'Wait! Slow down! I can't-'
That half of her was once more silenced by the other, swift and sharp. After another moment of where she drifted along, powerless against the currents, Lavender pulled herself back to consciousness. Grasping back onto sheer stubborn will, she used it to push herself and pressed on.
'This is for our own good- for everyone's good. Just… hold out for a bit longer,' This half tried to justify. Distractions could not be afforded now, not when they were so close to their destination - to finally finding the lost expedition's fate.
Every moment they were gone was a moment they were in danger, Lavender told that part rest of herself again as she moved on, ever brisk.
Mere seconds later though, she slowed. Slicing through the sunless sea, an unnatural glimmer caught her eye.
There it was.
That damn light. Golden, shining, splendour in all of its temperamental glory.
She pulled herself back, letting the momentum dissipate. Lavender then swam with mindful, measured movements. She manoeuvred herself, a kick here, a stroke there - all to get within perfect distance of the golden current. Then, she ceased altogether. Nothing more beyond what was needed to keep her level with it was done once she was an arm's length out. Diluted as it was, having been stretched across this part of the ocean by the other currents - other events - it had become a part of, there was no doubt of its potential.
It would burn and blind her once more if she did not treat it with due respect.
'Cold, so cold…'
Her body tried to curl upon itself one more time, but she put down those errant thoughts again. With a violent thrash, Lavender unfurled once more.
'Focus, we're here.'
She paused, then blanched at the unintended cutting edge in her rebuke. But when no cry against the strike came from the other half, the rest of Lavender quickly began rallying full processing power behind its sole will. And still, as she did so, there came no response from the rest of the fusion. In fact, the other half of her seemed rather… silent afterwards.
Not merely meek, silent. Complete and outright.
However, she could not dwell on it now. Perhaps it was better that only one mind be in control anyhow, for her powers had to be focused now. Ready at last, she reached out with her lower pair of hands, knowing that much of what she sought out would at last be laid bare if she did.
There was a moment of hesitation then, which was hers and hers alone, as she feared what might be revealed within. But Lavender pressed on, for it was her obligation to at least try.
'Here goes nothing…'
The moment her finger so much as brushed against the auric current, the watery deep was consumed by starlike bright. From it, spinning, dancing fractals of every pattern and every shape filled her vision as her eyelid was welded open - such was the scorching torture. She had made direct contact with the golden light, and so now was left exposed to the full force of its powers as she was forced to watch the nauseating, eldritch lightshow.
The waters had receded the moment she touched it, Lavender realised far too late. There was nothing to dilute it, not anymore.
She savagely put down the urge to scream in agony, for she knew it was a battle of wills now. But it was by no means easy, for it was maddening as her mind flailed without direction as tried in vain to force third dimensional order upon the whirlwind of the fractals. Even with the power of two seers, to do so was to chip away at a palace with her fingernails, or to topple it with a concerted orbital strike; she could never quite tell which.
Infinity passed one moment, and another moment took infinity to pass.
She lost control and tried to scream now, to rage against the storm, but no atmosphere was there to carry her breath. The golden fractals had willed it away, as they had with the ocean. The ground too was gone, torn asunder and left as a bottomless pit where nothing except more dancing patterns lay. Lavender was at its mercy, unable to so much as even fall because she was surrounded on every angle by shifting fractals that ebbed and flowed in fathomless motion.
'No.' She gritted her teeth, 'This… is… MY REALM! MINE… TO COMMAND!'
No matter what it did to annihilate the time dimension, one fact remained constant. Lavender's mind and body were still her own.
'DO… YOU… HEAR ME!' She roared from within her thoughts, a burning sense of determination growing in her chest, 'MINE… TO COMMAND!'
Out of instinct, summoned amalgams of light gripped her upper pair of hands, each of which solidified into a set of wickedly spiked knuckledusters. She coiled her arms back, for would not be left helpless in her one place of refuge, a piece of Sapphire thought. A thought that the wider mind of Lavender did nothing to dissuade - only encourage and embolden.
Without a second thought, her face twisted into a breathless roar as she sent her coiled arm outwards with terrifying speed, reaching into the far off fractals. Where the horizon was, which way was up, the distance between points - none of it mattered here in the metaphysical. Everything was formed by the imagination, and one needed only the will to shape it.
And so, with fear and desperation as a potent whip, Lavender rushed to express hers directly.
SMASH!
Her strike connected to a fractal an infinite distance away, right in front of her. The clatter of broken glass echoed throughout, and the fractals froze in place, no longer shifting. Then, a harrowing noise - halfway between a scream and shearing metal - shrieked and tore its way across the world of fractals. The scream rippled back again, reverberating faster and louder each time. She tried to retract, to scramble backwards and away, but backwards did not exist in this madness.
There was no 'where' to go, not when her expansive prison was the same in all directions.
Raising her hands around her face, she shouted against the unseen gaoler, 'STOP!'
Then, as though finally listening, it did. When the reverb reached its apex, silence came.
However, this moment of stasis would not last.
A pulse of pure white exploded from the crack made by her fist. So close was the blast point that it gave her so little time, and the white light left her blinded to what it would do next. As it annihilated the fields of fractals, trailing not far behind came another, invisible rippling wave and its path could only be traced by where it painted the blank white canvas. The new wave left behind all the colours of the real world in its wake, then it reverberated, and its the next ripple across awoke the still image.
The picture began to move, for the forces of the universe returned to it - among them, gravity.
Into the dead grey dust her form fell, and Lavender collapsed to her knees. Her lower pair of arms were wrapped tight around her waist, and her upper pair propped her prone body while she began to heave in audible agony.
"Hurrgghh- urrghh- UHWIECH!"
But it was not dry.
So violent was the transit that, after every few heaves, Lavender harked out small globs of purple tinted liquid. Liquid, which to her horror, were parts of her. Molten hardlight - the source of which had come from within herself, as if the immense energies she was exposed to had microwaved her from the inside out. This strange, concerning expellation mixed with the tears rushing forth from her still burning eye, and both splashed and formed a strange puddle in the dust.
Normally, most people would have at least stopped to think if part of their insides began to spill out, but Lavender…
"Urrghh- Uuh… uhh UHWIECH!"
…was perhaps too busy with something more immediate to care.
A last, vulgar retch rushed out of Lavender as her hunched body convulsed in revulsion when one more molten glob slithered up the back of her throat and flew out onto the floor.
Without a mind to compose them, the puddle of her molten innards dissipated into the air with a faint, oddly musical chime. As a last gift, as they exited, they left in the air dancing lavender-tinted sparkles that soon faded away.
She collapsed on the floor, and she lay there, for she accepted the pain that was the price for guarded knowledge. Her breaths heaved, swallowing the fog of grey dust that was kicked up by her fall. But she cared not, even as it began to irritate her throat. So worn was she that she had not even the will to fall into a coughing fit.
Lifeless as she was while laying there, she was not meant for eternal sleep. Not yet. She was still conscious, and so, though it may have been jumbled and in pieces when it arrived, one thought managed to survive the gauntlet posed by her raging headache.
'Is… that blue?'
Her eye had not deceived her. Her still recovering eyesight may have been a tad hazy, but she recognised it well. Too well, in fact. Laying on her back, the view above was plain to see. Through the gash in the planetary crust, she spied the ring of skyscrapers at its precipice - each one uniform in colour…
'Blue District?'
It had to be.
A memory struck, and she remembered how she had heard of Blue Diamond's unexpected arrival on Homeworld, and of how it was attributed to the expedition's disappearance. But so single-minded had Sapphire been that they had not bothered to check on that event, nor read more of Zircon's reports, than beyond the basics.
But before Lavender could chastise that part of herself such, the gold returned. Yet, ingrained as her fear of it was, she found herself compelled to put up no defence against it - to embrace it, even. Somehow, the light had become… gentler. Warm instead of searing. Brilliant instead of blinding. And, as Lavender shakily rose to her feet to get a view, she soon understood it was no small wonder why its nature had changed so drastically…
This entire time, the source of the golden light had not been something, but someone.
"Bolt..?"
There he was, a halo wreathed as a crown of light around him. He stood just behind Pery, and with Rhodonite beside. His face was hidden by that helmet's black visor, nonetheless, Lavender could read him with perfect clarity. The way he gripped that pickaxe, the way his stance was and how his head was held high the whole time to survey the area. He tried to be subtle, as though not wishing to spook the others, but certainly was on his guard.
Indeed, Rhodonite too seemed possessed of their more soldier-like instincts as they assumed the other flank around Pery without a word, their own pick firmly cradled in hand.
"Okay though, remember everything I told you." The image of Pery said before they walked on.
She watched as they followed Pery. Then as her gaze moved with them, she let slip a sharp gasp. At once, she understood what had made Rhodonite and Bolt feel as if they had to be ready for a fight.
"Stars… what are you doing!?"
Lavender almost wanted to reach out, to pull Pery out of the image with a firm grasp and berate them with all her breath - maybe even to slap some sensibility into them. For a short moment, she wished so much to put the fear of death into Pery, to rip into them with a reprimand so severe that it would give even the Diamonds pause
Why, oh why did they decide on bringing her old friend and the child to someplace like here on their first trip to the surface!?
No wonder why the expedition had disappeared! Lavender nearly found herself thinking as Pery took their first steps into the slums. But she breathed out, the air still hot and fuming. She chose to give them a slim - very slim - benefit of the doubt-
Vwoom- BANG
At the moment the two behind Pery took their first steps in, the halo upon Bolt's image pulsed. Lavender had barely any warning, naught more than him gripping the hilt of his pick a tad tighter, to tell her to shield her eyes from the burst of light.
However, as she lowered her arms back down, in an instant she fell into the throes of panic, waving her fist around as she rushed to re-summon her knuckledusters. The strange energies that had exploded from Bolt had caused the image to stutter then freeze, for the golden fire spawned from him ate away at the film with ferocious speeds.
Then, as if interrupting a vision was not enough, the anomalous flame left behind an equally anomalous ash - the fractals.
Lavender swung at it with a vicious right hook, her expression of raw will smashing apart the fractals with the sound of breaking glass before they could spread any further. But before the image returned to clarity, the whole image buzzed, as though it were coming from a holoscreen whose projector had been bashed by an irritated operator… so not too dissimilar to what she had just done to the time dimension then.
Then, with a jitter of static, clarity returned. And still, the disappearance of the fractals was to be no source of respite for Lavender.
Far from it in fact. As if the universe itself was conspiring to spite her, a voice part of her was far, far too familiar with spoke out from the ruin. High, haughty, and dripping with arrogance. It could have been no one else…
"An intact peridot? How interesting. I wonder how it got here." They said as they twirled their gravity wand.
She stood within a run down shack as she bore witness to the anarchy outside. Between Bolt and Rhodonite's shoulders, Lavender looked out through the unkempt entrance and caught sight of them. She had to remind herself it was no more than a replay of events past, but still, her fist clenched and shook as it grew a mind of its own and wished to pummel them into the ground.
"Yes, amazing, did you also notice that space is black and the ground is GREY!?"
"Aquamarine." Lav- Sapphire growled beneath her breath as she watched, helpless as Pery - trapped in place by Aquamarine's wand - was impaled by a destabiliser spear from a roving Citrine.
'Odd,' she thought at first, through the clouding rage.
The presence of a Yellow Court gem was certainly strange. But knowing Aquamarine, copious amounts of blackmail or some other kind of bribery was almost definitely involved in procuring such lackeys for… whatever this reckless destruction was meant to achieve.
"Tsk tsk. These gems... always so arrogant." Aquamarine said in false weariness as they bubbled and teleported Pery away.
"You'd know everything there is about being arrogant, you prick."
But as much as fate wished to torture her by dangling a glimpse of Sapphire's true tormenter right before her, her attention was stoon stolen away by light - pink and gold both.
"Get in."
Rhodonite was kneeling down in front of Bolt, and the pearl on her upper sternum glowed with a faint rose tint.
"What of Pery? We cannot leave her out there, to be taken!"
The instant the final syllable of that sentence was shouted, Bolt's aura pulsed again, brighter. Unleashed was an inferno that ceased the film again and then seared it in its wake. Now prepared for what the sign meant, Lavender reacted not an instant after. With practised motion, she used one upper arm to save her eye, then, she used the other to beat fractals, forcing order onto the image once more.
Sizzling and the stink of rusting metal smashed against her senses first when the vision played again. The stinging buzz of energy fields and the cold, metallic despair at her feet was next. Then, as she brought her arms down, the rest of the sombre scene.
'A prison cell,' She realised, part of her knowing intimately what it was like to be within one.
"Frack."
A rush of wind blew her hair aside as a fireball flew right past Lavender. She turned in its direction just in time to witness the now glowing form of Bolt's image bashing an unfortunate guard's head in with a pickaxe. Not an instant after, the prison's alarms blared, and the continuity of the visions broke apart again as a veritable solar flare burst out from Bolt and smashed against her view.
The raw blast of psionic energy torched what it touched, and the terrible ashes began to flitter behind in the blaze.
'What in the stars is it about him?' Lavender found herself thinking in the down time after she attacked the fractals again, 'What causes that?'
He was no ordinary human, that much was made clear soon after his adoption from the metal womb. Yet, for an organic to be able to express magic? The memory was distinct in Sapphire's consciousness, of when, as Ammolite, she was first witness to the abilities he could perform. There, deep into the repressed recesses of Ammoite's subconscious was where his… presence - for lack of a better term - had gone straight towards.
Where that part of Ammolite was left alone, with no aid in the sisyphean task of managing their heaviest, bleakest memories, his presence had offered their's a hand. When she accepted though, it did not so much take away the burden as shared it, for in its tow as it left Ammolite's mind was a few of some of the heavier pieces of baggage in there. Still, its presence left a glow in the darkest recesses of their consciousness, one small, yet warm and bright enough to wield as a lamp against the shadow.
Currently however… aside from within the initial vision at the slum entrance, his presence no longer warmed, but burned.
She racked her mind, trying to reconcile the difference or to find a frame of reference. Of course, there were the Diamonds in all their 'glory', who positively radiated in spectacular fashion to any who so much as was within their presence. Their auras were far clearer to sapphires, whose perspectives extended beyond and deeper than any material sight. So with that aiding her assessment, Lavender found that the similarities between the auras of the creators of gemkind and Bolt's were superficial at best.
The results were similar - to an extent - but the sources were not. In her mind's eye, the closest comparison was much like how a streetlamp and a detonating bomb both produced light. One would far outshine the other for a time, but the former was far more consistent - as was perhaps evidenced by the Diamonds' more direct and less sporadic expression of their abilities.
Lavender racked her memories again.
'Hmm,' She hummed, 'Yes- maybe… no. Nevermind.'
For a moment, she considered that first vision Sapphire did when part of Ammolite, right after that Agate had poofed Fluorite. But after a quick look back, she discounted it soon enough. That vision was not so much directed at Bolt, and more so at finding a safe path with minimal robonoid swarms to reunite with the rest of their group.
Yet, despite how fascinating - and somewhat infuriating - the magical phenomena centred around Bolt was to her, Lavender could ponder on it no longer as the vision stuttered back to life.
"Wait, wait, hold on. Departing? For where?" Rhodonite's voice was instantly recognisable.
"Offworld. Where else could we go?" An unknown person replied.
"Wh- What!?" Lavender waved her arms aside, twisting to the source of the unfamiliar voice, seeing the scene before her.
She had but a second to survey the surroundings, to realise she was within a starship, before Bolt's aura pulsed again and broke the flow of the film. Versed now, she held one arm to her face and used the other to smack the fractals.
"Offworld." The mere mention of it seemed unreal.
On one hand, it was better than being trapped, wasting away in a prison within the capital. However, if that unknown one piloting the ship - whoever they were, for their image had been consumed by a fractal before she could hit it - had not an idea of any safe destinations, then they would be left wandering the galaxy as wanted criminals. Their fate would be the same, only drawn out to agonising extent as more and more aristocrats smelled glory and joined the hunt.
That was if they even managed to make it out at all. Homeworld's defences were dense, and its fleets titanic…
Lavender scowled and banished the thought. Though the window she was able to view anything through was growing narrower and narrower, she was determined to view one more vision.
"Offworld…" She mouthed the word, still disbelieving.
Either way, closure was needed, and she would face the truth; no matter how painful it might be.
The film rippled back to place. Gone was the spacious bridge of the ship. What replaced it was a small room. Six simple surfaces, each painted in a smooth white and sheeny coat - crushed marble paint if she had to guess.
Being reliable, hard-wearing, and sheeny made it well-liked across the Empire. Blue Diamond's Imperial palace, if she remembered right, had parts of it painted in a dyed version of the stuff.
This place though, wherever it was, was nowhere near as grand. The door on the far end of the room was ajar, just enough for her to catch sight of the window on the other side of the… was this an apartment? Fascination with the accommodations aside, for usually only certain aristocrats were influential enough to requisition a residence from the hard hand of the state, what lay outside that window had her starry-eyed and speechless.
A street, no, a veritable boulevard lay beyond with street lamps and all. The wide basalt road was flanked on either side by a neat line of utilitarian-looking and uniform, though by no means ugly, apartment buildings set in strong realist architecture. Dense, yet evenly interspersed windows. Jutting pedimented roofs held aloft by pillars projecting from the walls. Entrances surrounded by simple stone brick arches - these were what defined the style.
The apartment blocks alternated between sparkling basalt black and streaked marble white. But, it also seemed whoever painted them made sure the coat was not too thick - and the result was that the outlines of the monolithic carved bricks which they were built with remained plain to see.
Such design choices gave character to them, she decided. Imposing character, yes, but in a way that made one proud, not afraid. Even if Lavender was not there in person, the sensation was palpable. These were meant to make people proud to be part of something greater than themselves, of something able to build structures so grand in their own way…
…almost akin to what the monuments The Empire so loved evoked, but with an actual use as living space.
These were buildings that served the community, not the egos of aristocrats and autocrats.
Her keen eye then spotted the metal gleam of what appeared to be rails that were set within this road. Upon these rails, a form of public transport - some kind of tram with six spacious carriages all linked together - glided past, the lights within illuminating the passengers through each carriage's windows.
Passengers which, just like the pedestrians, were partly formed of those who the Empire persecuted.
There! Were those conjoined twin peridots in the captain's cabin of that tram? Again! Standing on the street right there was a fusion, perhaps formed partly by a Pearl, who held pleasant and casual conversation with a Tsavorite Garnet. Who would have believed it? A high ranking aristocrat in the company of fused gems!
Passing by this apartment's window alone was a kaleidoscope of gems, of crowds so varied to be beyond the counts or categories that the Empire so loved to impose.
But the wonder at what lay beyond was soon to be tempered by the woe within…
"I… what do we do now?" Bolt said, distant as he sunk into a plain mattress.
Lavender jumped a little, but soon collected herself. So enraptured had she been by the sight of the seemingly wondrous society outside that she had almost forgotten why she was here.
She turned around, and there she saw the statue of contained light that was now Bolt collapsed onto a simple bed. He had taken off his helmet - which was resting on a basic nightstand beside - and he now stared up into the ceiling of the undecorated room. Rhodonite was near him, sat at the foot of said bed. Her one foot lay atop the mattress, the knee bent, upon which her hands lay atop eachother, and in turn her chin then rested upon.
Rhodonite's glum mood was clear. Bolt though, his face - and whole body - were hidden from her seer sight by a mask of gold.
But again, no mask could truly hide his feelings. She needed no higher magic to understand that no more than an exhausted, lost child lay beneath.
"Do what we meant to do on Homeworld - build a life worth living." Rhodonite said, a certain dull weight in her tone. But when struck by a heavy weight, her convictions only rang louder, "I know it's just us two now, but we have a real chance here… we shouldn't throw it away."
A goal. Something to keep them focused and with a purpose in life, especially after the crisis they both endured, was important.
Bolt's figure shifted, and through no fault of his own her instincts were set on edge. Then, in spite of those instincts, just as Lavender prepared herself for the inevitable pulse, it never came. In fact, as she opened her eye again, the very opposite had happened. The aura of gold around him receded to reveal a small smile eeking its way onto his once melancholic features.
"I guess… then perhaps one day - that one day, when we'll all meet again," Bolt said, wistful as the glow receded another time. Then, he balanced his back on a plain white pillow as he sat upright to face Rhodonite, "they will see some familiar faces here, happy to host them."
A distant dream, but a dream to strive for nonetheless.
Despite the sudden spark of hope, there remained a strong stain in the air which Lavender could taste, as if both sides still knew within themselves that the chance of reunification was miniscule. Somehow though, neither let it gnaw away at them. That she admired.
Rhodonite scoffed good naturedly, then she raised her head off her knee and she turned towards him.
"Maybe - they do have that ship after all," She said as she entertained the idea, "so who knows what might happen if they fix it? I mean, Fluorite's still there. So I guess even if Pery's here, there's a chance that way…" she added, slowing down towards the end as she pondered her own words.
Suddenly, the dream did not seem so far-fetched after all.
"And Ammolite is still with them too," Bolt realised, eyes widening, "do you think she could use her sight to find us here and to direct them where to go?"
Lavender clicked her fingers, "Stars… now there's an idea," she muttered to herself, filing that thought away for later before she paid attention to the vision again.
The glow around Bolt receded a third time, almost all the way back to just the halo around his head. His face was clearer now, and while he too seemed weary, that small guarded smile on him refused to fail. Indeed, hope had watered it, and from there it grew a size or two.
Hearing his words, Rhodonite was left to stew in genuine thought for some moments, "I- well… it's not impossible. They ghfuld oo amn…"
Lavender prepared herself, because as Rhodonite's voice began to gurgle, the image began to distort. It became awash with waves and ripples and a filter of blue, not gold, began to coat everything in view.
Unfamiliar as this new anomaly was, she moved to strike at it in the same way…
…and a splash echoed as her fist sank. From the impact point, she was sprayed by rapidly distorting blobs that had once displayed the room's door. To her horror however, with one of its jellified supports struck, Lavender could barely shout out a lone expletive before the vision melted into a cascade of liquid. The deluge slammed against her, and again she was left at the mercy of a sudden, roiling wave. Caught in the flash flood, she could scarce do more than flail around as she was left to tumble in its swirling centre.
Whirl- WHOMP
Just as Lavender had comprehended she was trapped within water, the wave she had been trapped in slammed her against abrasive sand.
Nursing the diamond of all headaches, Lavender pulled herself out from the surf. Then, groggy and shaky, she hauled herself back to her feet. So absorbed was she in her search that - it seemed - her immobile form must have been pulled closer and closer to the shore till there remained no more depths to plumb, no more of the past she could look at.
But to Lavender, she had found enough. She had gained closure-
"They're safe…"
-and it was better than any she dared hope for.
Worn, with few familiar faces to cling to and lost in a strange land, yes, but safe. Somehow, despite the flood of relief it brought her, the idea remained hard for her to believe.
Stealing a ship from a high security prison already strained the odds set out by fate, but to then escape to parts unknown unscathed? Madness. The latter especially drove her for a spin. All gems knew the reach of the Diamonds was long, so for there to be a place so safe from them, and within a week and a half of Homeworld nonetheless? A place so developed as she had seen in the vision and yet had gone unnoticed? A place safe enough for even a known fugitive fusion like Rhodonite to feel comfortable in planning for a long-term stay?
So far fetched was the mere concept, and yet, there the solid, unshakeable evidence was right before her. By her own measure, that last conversation must have taken place no less than a few minutes ago, and an hour at most. They must have arrived quite recently then - if they had only just begun to plan what to do there… wherever it was.
Lavender scrunched her face in thought. By her rough calculation, under normal FTL cruising speeds, the nearest galaxy was almost two month's journey at the least. Why, even after she considered how they were in a desperate situation - and so may have moved at double or triple cruising speeds - that would only mean being even deeper into the intergalactic void.
Yet how they got there, and where it even was, would be something Lavender could only figure out later. She needed to let the past percolate before searching it again. Or, with luck, Bolt's passive aura would no longer burn Sapphire's vision now that he - seemingly - has time to take a breath, to calm down after everything he had gone through.
'I've done all I can do for now. Time to get out of here, tell everyone…'
Lavender closed her eye. The summer sea breeze disappeared. Next went the smell of brine and the lapping of waves. Then, the last to go was the feeling of sand between her feet.
And so the cold, grey rock of the kindergarten returned.
"Urghhh… how long was I out?" Lavender asked, a dizzied drawl in her voice.
No one answered.
"Err.. hello?"
She searched around, finding no one else. Houses lay on one side, and a sheer cliff drop protected by metal railing on the other, but no people. Citrine though seemed to still be working on the parts of the settlement's ship - if the sound of sparks coming from behind the closed garage door was of any evidence. But Pearl seemed to be among those gone.
"Huh, I must've been a whHHILEEE-"
Lavender melted into a ball of purple light, and the ensuing amalgam squirmed and writhed. More and more pieces of orange began to tear itself away from the mass, leaving the blue mass behind.
The orange mass then tore itself away so suddenly that it flew up into the air. It tumbled onto the ground, and it came to a stop some ten feet away. The blue mass was left on its own where Lavender once stood, and as it reformed, Sapphire was left flat on her rear and sitting on the stone.
"What the-"
"Let's just get this over with…"
She stopped. Padparadscha's voice may have been no more than a whisper, but any protest within Sapphire died right there.
She knew she was in the wrong, there was no other way to put it.
"'M sorry - f'r div'ng in like that…" Sapphire said, her words fumbled and mumbled.
An awkward silence reigned, and though she tried to wait for Padparadscha to speak, their silence began to get beneath her skin. Delay was to be expected from them, but they had been silent for far longer than normal now.
"I guess I should go now… tell Rose, the Twins… all of them." Sapphire said before she turned around and walked off… only to realise she had no idea where to go.
But, just as it seemed she had backed herself into another corner, another voice joined the conversation, "What's happening back here- oh!"
Around the corner from the alley between houses, Pearl reappeared, likely drawn by the noise from Lavender's less than coordinated unfusing.
"So… what did you find?" They asked, tentative.
"They're still alive!" Sapphire said, perhaps too eager to get out of here as she turned to the location of Pearl's voice, "Wherever they were, I- we could not tell. It was far away from Homeworld, and as far as we could see, it was safe."
Pearl's face was blank at first, as if she had fully expected to feel despair, but no now had no idea what to do. However, a cautious grin soon found its way through, "Truly? I- thank the stars, and thank you too Padparadscha."
Innocent as the topic was, the instant Pearl turned to speak to them, Sapphire's circuits skipped a vital ping.
Relief morphed into dread. Then, the silence began. Sapphire counted the seconds - seconds which passed all too quickly for her liking - as she stood there, terrified of the prospect of another extended delay.
But what she dreaded never came, for Padparadscha spoke soon after, and not with a hint of gloom, "Ah, no need to thank me."
Pearl smiled a little wider at their humble response, "Well, after everything that's happened, it's the least I could do," she said, and finished with a courteous nod.
With that said and done, Pearl took Sapphire's hand and the pair walked off. Then, when the two turned the corner, Padparadscha was left truly alone.
…
"It's alright Sapphire… I forgive you." She whispered to herself.
Yet, she found it hard to be sincere.
There was something maddening, to be in a body she had no control over - and not just when Sapphire tried to look at the future either. The entire time they were fused, it had been Sapphire who moved Lavender. She was merely there, sat in the subsconscious, as if her sole purpose in the duo was to give access to the past and nothing more. Then, when she tried to express her own dissent, she was shut up - and for 'her own good' nonetheless!
Even with no one to witness, even with all the solitude she could need to vent, she held her tongue. As she always did.
'Maybe it was for the better that she was in control anyways…' She tried to tell herself, for she remembered how much she panicked when they entered the deep sea, and so caused Lavender to seize up or stall, 'I'm not at all experienced with visions.'
Padparadscha breathed, quiet. They were friends at the end of the day, and Sapphire had already apologised.
Surely that was enough?
A/N:
Welp, the part where Padparadscha and Sapphire fuse turned out to be wayyy longer than I initially planned, but I can't say that I did not enjoy writing it. Was pretty interesting to finally explore Pad as a more complex character beyond just being comedic relief. That, and figuring out how her past-vision looked along how it might work was fun too.
Also, turns out, writing Padparadcha's POV while trying to mention the 'time-lag' she experiences in *everything* without it then becoming clunky is hard. Also, I figured that since her POV is written from her perspective, then the time-lag should not be there because to Pad what she sees is the present - even if it isn't to others.
(Notice: there's been some edits in the time frame involved in the journey in Chapter 22 because I realised just now that it was out of sync with the other chapters. So now, it's been corrected from a 2 week journey to a 1 and a half week journey *facepalm*)
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On another note however:
Sorry for this update being so late, burnout got to me and I had found it hard to write anything of substance for a long time. I did at least spend that time making notes about any ideas that came to me. Also fixed the plotholes all the arcs I had planned up to before the burnout, and even some of the ones I had come up with after, which is nice.
(To give some context, the notes document for this fic has grown from about 25 to 48 pages since the last update in November, and it is written in size 9… but that just means more ideas to make into fic so hurrah!)
For a while into the future then, planning is no longer an issue, and now I've just gotta flesh out these notes into actual writing. So! If all goes well, after getting through this long slump, there will hopefully be much to show for it.