Lee, Neji, Tenten were running across a field towards Kakashi, who has temporary replaced Gai by waiting for Team Gai with the food.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot my lines," said Kakashi. "You want to do it again?"

Lee, Neji and Tenten let out a groan.

The Maito Gai Fanfiction Series

(Episode 04: Supposed to be a Valentines Day Release. Vincent Valentine not included.)

By PikaFlash

Disclaimers: As usual, all characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

A Pikachu's Endorsement for The Maito Gai Fanfiction Series:

Pika pika, pikachu pikachu pikapika pichi cha pikachu pikachu. Chu pikapi pika pi pikachu pika ka chu pikapika pikachu pika pika pikachu chu pika pi. Pikapi pikachu pi chu ka pikachu pikapika chu pika.

Pikachu

Summary: Sakura gave Sasuke some money to buy a new shirt. Sasuke instead bought a new chair. When he realized that Sakura's birthday is coming up and he didn't have enough money for a present, Sasuke had to figure out how to get Sakura a birthday present. Then he sees a dress being delivered to Ino. Sasuke quickly tells the deliveryman that he will collect Ino's dress as she is not home. Sasuke takes the opportunity to give Sakura the new dress at the party. Unfortunately, when Sakura tried the dress on, Ino arrives at the party, but before Ino could accused Sakura for stealing her dress, Sasuke slits her throat with a kunai. Blood splattered onto the dress Sakura was wearing, so Sakura beats Sasuke's head into the floor.
I (beep)ing Dare You!

Neji was standing outside a cave holding a microphone.

"Hi, I'm Neji Hyuuga. Sasuke Uchiha has sent us to pay a visit to his long lost brother. Unfortunately, we're not going to do it."

Gai was in an editing room.

"Do it properly, Neji," warned Gai. "Or you're off the team."

Neji was back outside the cave holding a microphone.

"Hi, I'm Neji Hyuuga. Sasuke Uchiha has sent us to pay a visit to his long lost brother, Itachi Uchiha. Let's go."

Neji and the camera crew entered the cave, where Itachi was torturing a Sasuke Voodoo doll and making his voice sound like Sasuke.

"I will kill you, Brother," said Itachi, imitating Sasuke's voice.

"I like to see you try," said Itachi in his regular voice.

"Itachi Uchiha, I'm Neji Hyuuga from 'I (beep)ing Dare You!' You have been selected for a special task on request of your brother."

Itachi looked at Neji. "I decline."

"But, Sasuke has also told us that while you were a kid you did..." Neji whispered into Itachi's ear.

"That is not true," said Itachi.

"Indeed. But Sasuke gave us a picture of you doing 'it'." Neji showed the picture at Itachi. "Is that you?"

"Errr...yes," Itachi reluctantly answered.

"So, are you willing to try out a stunt specially for you?" asked Neji.

"Errr...yes!" Itachi answered with a lame 'happy face' look.

Enter Lee's narrating voiceover.

'Itachi has been taken from his hiding place to a special location in Konoha, where Itachi will paddle down the side of a building and die in a canoe, at Sasuke's request.'

Itachi was brought to the top of a stunt building, sitting in a canoe near the edge of the building.

'Stunt coordinator, Rock Lee is giving Itachi tips on how to die in a professional way.'

Rock Lee was giving instructions to Itachi. "All you need to do paddle your way down. The rest is up to the 'springtime of youth'!"

'After that, it is time to push Itachi and the canoe off the building.'

Neji, Tenten, Lee and Gai pushed the canoe with Itachi on it off the side of the building.

'Unfortunately, Itachi was replaced by a Kage Bushin Kawarimi at the very last minute, not killing him in the way we expected.'

The Kage Bushin and the canoe crashed landed straight onto the ground. Neji quickly ran to the canoe, with the kage bushin quickly replaced by a living and breathing Itachi, who was still sitting in the canoe.

"Are you still alive, Naru...I mean, Itachi?

"Errr...yeah," said Naru...he means Itachi.

Neji looks at the camera. "And now, this:"

Superseded by a New Sign

"And it's now time for round two."

Tenten is hosting a gameshow segment, with Neji and Naruto as the contestants.

"Now, Naruto will now go into the sound-proof chamber, where he will not hear any of my questions or any of Neji's answers. All he will be hearing will be some music out of a set of headphones in the chamber.

Naruto enters the glass chamber and puts on the headphones. "Can you hear me?" called out Tenten.

Naruto has no idea what Tenten asked, so he just gave a thumbs up.

"Ok, Neji, what do you not like about Naruto?" asked Tenten.

"Ok, my cousin has a crush on him and I don't like him."

Tenten looks at the sound-proof chamber. Then again, Naruto isn't smart enough to read lips. "I see. Anything else?"

Neji looks at Naruto. "Well, I just don't like the way he brags about defeating me during the Chunin exams."

Tenten looks at the audience. "Could you please applause? I think Naruto is getting suspicious."

The audience (consisting of free Genins and Chunins wanting free entertainment) applause, making Naruto smile, not suspecting the conversation between Tenten and Neji.

Tenten asks another question. "Anything else?"

Neji looks around. "Well, you know how Naruto has the same dressing room as Lee?"

"Yes? What about it?"

"Well, one time I was there, I saw Naruto taking out some cash out of Lee's Chunin jacket pocket."

Tenten looks at the audience once again. "Applause."

Another round of applause from the audience gave Naruto the thought that it was something good.

"So, you're saying Naruto's a thief."

"Yes, and also that he's not meant to be a main character in this fanfic."

"Ok," said Tenten. "Now, which gas would you choose to fill the chamber with?"

Neji looks at the chamber. "I'll pick the chloroform."

Tenten has a smile. "Alright. RELEASE THE CHLOROFOAM!"

The chloroform gas fills the sound-proof chamber, with the fumes knocking Naruto out.

Meanwhile, Rock Lee had just finished dinner at a restaurant and she was about to pay the waitress Tenten when he finds out that he didn't have his wallet.

"I'm pretty sure I had my wallet in my car's glove compartment. I would need to get it."

"You mind if I follow you?" asked Tenten. "Because it's coming out of my pay."

"Sure."

Tenten followed Lee out of the restaurant to the car.

Outside the restaurant, Tenten and Lee walked to the car. Lee unlocks the car and checks the glove compartment.

"Damn. I must have let the wallet with my credit cards at home. I'd better go back and get it."

"Mind if I come with you?" asked Tenten.

"Sure."

Tenten and Lee got into the car and Lee drives home.

Lee's home

Tenten was watching Lee, who was searching around his living room. "I'm sure I had it in here somewhere." Lee stopped searching as it was getting late.

"Well, I'd better get to sleep soon," said Lee. "Good night."

Lee switched off the living room lights and walked to his bedroom, leaving Tenten in the dark.

Lee was at the usual training area when Tenten appeared, still dressed as the waitress from the last scene.

"Oh, I just found my credit card," said Lee, showing the credit card to the waitress.

"How much would that be?" asked Lee.

"650 Ryou."

"I'll pay 800 Ryou and you can keep the change."

"Thank you." Tenten did the payment with the card and Lee signs the receipt. "Here's your credit card, Mr. Hyuuga," said Tenten, reading the name on the credit card.

As soon as Tenten leaves, Neji taps on Lee's shoulder. "Excuse me, but you have my card."

Lee slowly turns around to see Neji with Naruto wearing a black cloak and holding a scythe.

"I'm afraid that the 'springtime of youth' is over for you," calmly said Neji.

Naruto was at a news desk. "We interrupt that last scene because we all know the punch line of that joke. Anyway, she's old, she stinks and she refuses to appear in this fanfic. Typical of Granny Tsunade. And Maito Gai's new album is burning up the charts faster than Sasuke using his fireball skill at the hospital."

Suddenly, Gai appeared into the news room. "Hey Naruto, why did you interrupt my fanfic series?"

Naruto looked at Gai with a surprised look. "Really? I thought I was doing an episode of the Naruto News Show."

"Well, whatever you're doing, could you take us back to my fanfic?"

"Sure, Gai-sensei." As soon as Gai leaves, Naruto looks at the camera. "And now, this:"

Another Gameshow Segment Sign

Lee was standing next to Hinata at another gameshow segment.

"Well, Hinata. This is what you could win later on. Voiceover, tell her what are the prizes".

Naruto's Voiceover: Thanks, Lee.

A curtain opens up, revealing Tenten wearing a Hawaiian Shirt while listening to music from her boombox (or ghetto blaster) stereo system while standing in front of a background of a beach.

Naruto's Voiceover: Hinata, you could win a boombox, courtesy of Otogakure Records.

The next curtain reveals Shikamaru and Ino standing in an empty above ground swimming pool having a sword fight using fake swords.

Naruto's Voiceover: This next prize is a new above ground swimming pool.

The next curtain opens to reveal Kakashi was reading the latest issue from the Icha Icha series while standing in the background of a desert.

Naruto's Voiceover: And how's this for your beauty. A beautiful 24 carat diamond ring!

Kakashi looks up from his book. "How did I get here?" he mumbled.

Shino and Kiba were showing off the new car...with a background of anti-Pokémon groups burning Pokémon Products, because we have run out of ideas for backgrounds to use.

Naruto's Voiceover: And finally, this new car. All this is yours, if the price is right!

"Hinata, do you want to win these prizes?" asked Lee.

"No," replied Hinata.

"No?" asked Lee, who was confused. "But everybody wants to win these prizes."

"I just wanted to be here to hear Naruto's voiceover," explained Hinata.

Hinata walked back to her audience seat.

Lee was angrily complaining to Customer Service officer Kiba at an insurance company. Lee points at a box in a storeroom.

"You see that box there? It has my name on it!"

"But, company policy does not allow me to make such a transaction," explained Kiba.

"Why?"

"It's company policy," said Kiba.

"Then, get off your big fat ass and get your manager! It's only few feet from here!"

"Alright," said Kiba. As Kiba got off his chair, he took out some clutches and limped his way to the manager's office. Out of embarrassment, Lee walked out of the room, down a flight of stairs into a storeroom, where Tenten and Neji were hiding in the corner, also trying to forget their embarrassment moments (due to events in the previous episode)...

Sakura and Ino were sitting at a table at a restaurant.

"Let me tell you, going to Manhattan during winter...it's really cold."

"Brrrrrr," both Sakura and Ino said in unison, imitating the shivering. "And the guy I met...he's so hot!"

"Really?"

"Yep," said Ino.

Then the waiter Neji appears, holding a bottle of wine.

"Excuse me, ladies. This is from a man named Uchiha from table 15," said Neji. Then, he changes his voice to a girly voice. " Manhattan in winter? That guy you met is soooooo really cold. Brrrrrr."

Neji walks away, leaving behind a very confused Sakura and Ino.

Upstairs, Tenten and Lee was staring at a burning computer.

"And you said that it exploded after we've received 1000 email complaints about this fanfic," said Tenten.

Lee nods.

"Ok, let us go back to the restaurant while we fix this.

Back at the restaurant down below, Neji was serving Gai his dinner.

"Here's your sushi, your sashimi and your tsunami," said Neji as he places the food on the table.

Gai nods. Neji snaps his fingers for the tsunami and quickly leaves the room. A second later, a tsunami entered the restaurant and splashed on Gai.

Tenten was waiting in the corner when Dr. Lee left the surgery.

"Tenten, I have some bad news. Neji did not wake up from his coma. I'm sorry."

Tenten was in tears as the bad news hits her. She hugged Lee as Tenten cried on the shoulder. But suddenly, Tenten pushed Lee back.

"Are you having an erection?" asked Tenten.

Lee immediately shakes his head. "No, it's my belt buckle. It's a very big belt buckle.

End of Episode 04

Tenten was walking to her dressing room when she notices that her door is slightly open. Tenten slowly looks inside and sees Neji stealing some cash out of Tenten's wallet. Neji kissed the money and picked up a cup of Sake and had a celebratory drink. Then, Neji sees Tenten at the door. "Hey Tenten..." Neji looked around. "Well, Naruto did good today in that gameshow segment, didn't he?"

Tenten entered her dressing room, pulled out a scroll and closed the door...

The Real End of Episode 04