To Have Loved Him
Chapter 4
The Value of Respect
By: 12stoneswithin
Summary: You never quite know what life has instore for you but sometimes it's better not knowing.
What Happened Last Time-
" I want to speak with him so that I might be able to find myself again." hugging her is the only thing keeping me grounded from my other worldly excitement.
" Then ye will speak with him. Let me take care of everything and ye relax until I signal ye that it is time." pushing me an arms length away she looks into my face as only a mother would. " The signal will be me telling you that there will be no training today do you think you can remember that ? "
"I can remember that no problem."
4 Days Later
" Kagome, there will be no training today ye will be heading west to a neighboring village." Keade's words made my heart quicken with anticipation. " They sent for our aid many weeks ago but I cannot leave the village unattended. I have sent a letter ahead of ye to inform them of the change in plans. Kagome, remember to keep and open mind and an open heart upon arrival. Ye may not like all ye learn but trust in oneself is necessary for a Miko." Keade leaned forward giving me a kind motherly hug, " Now ye must be ready to leave within the hour. They expect ye to be there within the day and to stay for up to two weeks." As I got up to leave my heart was practically doing backflips in excitement. " Oh and Kagome I have already spoke with your Intended. He is fully aware of the postponement of the mating and although he is angry he understands why ye must leave." glancing at my mother figure I couldn't help but feel gratitude swell within me for having her here.
"Thank you so much for everything and I promise when I come back I will know who I am and I will know what to do" having seen her understanding smile I turned and ran to Inuyasha's hut and packed what I could for my travels.
Later That Evening
Now where could he possibly be I've been sitting here for hours waiting for him to appear so that I can have my answers. It feels like no matter which brother I try to speak with neither has any grasp on time. Sighing in frustration I lay down on the grass staring at the clouds as they danced across the sky. As I watched them dance I couldn't help but feel the need to document my feelings once again.
Dear Diary,
As I lay watching the clouds dance across the sky I can't help but feel a small tingle of jealousy. Sometimes I envy their dance for they always seem to intertwine in the most beautiful ways. Slipping and sliding along each other seamlessly like Yin and Yang. Forever equal in a way I can never hope to be as Inuyasha's second mate. For no matter how hard i may try he will never be mine alone. He will always have someone else to run to when I anger him or he deems me unsatisfactory in anyway. Not to mention I will be subservient to Kikyo. It is for this reason I envy the clouds merging with the sky for they will forever only merge amongst themselves. I know I shouldn't envy them but I can't help it. To simply love and belong to another as they belong to only you is all I have ever wanted.
Perhaps it is my fate to never be loved in such away for even now with our mating but a month away he still runs from me, he still compares, but even so he still tries to love me the same way that he loves her. However, no matter how hard he tries its still evident who he loves more. Even so it is still quite possible that my fate lies with him.
I just hope that the fates are kind and generous to me.
Your's Truly,
Kagome Higurashi
Having finally finishing writing out my feelings I stretched and looked around. Being lost in thought so long I hadn't realized it had grown dark. The once milky white clouds were now a deep purple as the stars began to peak through them and the sun gave way to the moon. Strangling yet another sigh at seeing that he still wasn't here I began to set up camp for the evening. As the fire dance about the wood I lay down having tired from the days events and began to fall asleep to the sounds of its popping.
Narrator Pov
The toad had paid dearly for delaying the old miko's message. The idiot had thought it was irrelevant since it had come from a 'human woman' and as such had simply thrown it away. Luckily, Rin had seen it and retrieved it otherwise Sesshomaru would have never known that Lady Kagome was seeking an audience with him. Nor would he be rushing to meet the young women.
With Sess
I often wonder why I keep that blasted toad in my employ. To think the miko has been waiting for almost a full day due to his ignorance. If only he had simply given me the letter sooner I wouldn't be using such a great deal of youki to reach her. He of all people should know that there is unrest amongst the masses of demons who live on the border of my land. He might have killed her himself leaving her in such a vulnerable unstable environment alone. I have no other choice but to push myself to move fast and hopefully I will make it before anything happens to her.
AN
I'm sorry for the delay in the posting of this chapter I ran into computer problems but they have since been resolved and I hope you all love/like this new chapter.