Cristalina: Dancing around holo Jonathan is fun, but looks like Joanna gets a few hits on the nose for the amount of people that test this. Your secret with rare? If you have connections tell them to make PD Zero about Jonathan and not Joanna... keep some realism and possibility in the storyline. You wouldn't want to send Jeffrey because I can only act in self defence and I dunno what would happen to poor Jeffrey.

Yeah Crista I put in almost every detail. No hidden message, although it would have been kinda of cool if there was one.

Viewtiful John: Okies you can be in, mysterious masked figure? Well okay I'll do my best. I was hoping I'd get this kind of reaction. And I have something to say about Perfect Dark Zero... I'm afraid I think it will suck whenever (and IF) it's released.

Oh yeah more disclaimers: The actual people who are in the story gave me their permission, and again as usual I don't own anything except my original characters etc. etc.

"Anyway I must be off" Peachrocks stood up

"What why?" Cristalina asked

"I've got to do you a job. Remember?" Peachrocks said

"Isn't Spider-bear taking care of it?" Cristalina said

"Yeah, but I've got to help out too... besides no use if everybody sees me as a lazy guy who just manipulates everything by a keyboard" Peachrocks said

"But you do manipulate everything with your keyboard or at least try to? So what's the difference?" Cristalina laughed

"Well... you'll see..." Peachrocks then typed and changed into a completely different outfit with a black t-shirt, red jacket with white fur around the neck, jeans, black running shoes and black gloves.

"You didn't prove your point you only supported mine... you typed to change your look just now" Cristalina said still laughing

"Quiet you... I'm going to do something for myself" Peachrocks said

Cristalina was now laughing out very loudly slamming her hand on the desk.

A/N: You may notice Peachrocks/Adam uses the line 'quiet you' a lot. Obviously so do I, generally said when I've lost an argument or can't be bothered to think up a reply, it's not said in a stern tone it's more of a joking tone. Also again I like black and red so I wear those colours a bit...

"The robbery of the truck took place 2 kilometres from the city. Authorities are unsure of how this was possible but witnesses report hearing maniac like laughing... in addition the person who stole the books was a very tall man who wore a tall white hat" The reporter on TV said "The man was in the truck and then when police finally got inside, there was nothing left, the person and the books had disappeared. More as we know it" The reporter finished

"That sounds like Baron Samedi to me" Jonathan said watching the TV in the book store

"Why would Baron Samedi want to stop the delivery of Cristalina's Perfect Light books?" Joanna asked

"So he can get something he wants of her or something... I have no idea..." Foster sighed

"Then we'll have to get them back" Sean said

"But how? We tried getting a peek at his house and got caught... thanks to you" Natasha said rolling her eyes at James

"This time however we'll plan it out better..." Daniel said

"Yeah so who's in?" Sean asked

Nobody was keen to volunteer for the raiding of Baron Samedi house.

"Come on, who's really into Perfect Light? Well Sean, looks like we'll be first ones to read it when we succeed" Daniel said. Joanna raised an eyebrow

"Oh well, their loss" Sean replied as they walked off

"Alright I'll do it! But somebody better be back up in case we get caught or something again" Joanna suggested

"I'll handle that part... just let me know and I'll call for more help" Velvet said

"Excellent anybody else?" Sean asked

"Heh... I guess so... but this still seems like a stupid idea... although I haven't got any better suggestions" Jonathan said

"Then I'll come too... but only if James doesn't come" Natasha said

"You guys are the Perfect Light fanatics, sure I like it but you guys are much more into the I am, I'm not going anywhere near Samedi's place... after hearing more stories from my Dad... no way" James said
"I'll stay here and keep you guys updated through Velvet if anything else happens" Foster offered

"Okay... now we have to plan this strategically and carefully" Daniel said

5 minutes later

Daniel, Natasha, Sean, Jonathan, Joanna were at the vine covered walls of Baron Samedi's house.

"This place gives me the creeps... it's just so dark here... it's not natural" Natasha said

"That's because he uses his magic power to give a dark and scary look about the place" Sean said

"Sean, there isn't such thing as magic..." Jonathan rolled his eyes

Suddenly the vines stretched out and grabbed Joanna...

"ARGGH! HELP me!" Joanna screamed as she struggled against the pull of the vines

"Leave this to me..." Natasha pulled out her freeze gun from last time and fired and froze the vine grabbed Joanna solid. However Joanna tried to get out but the vine despite being frozen was still strong against her.

"Nice work... you've frozen it and now I can't... Argggh!!!!" Joanna screamed again as she was pulled through the wall by another vine.

"If that isn't magic, then what is it Jonathan..." Sean folded his arms

"Very strange plants..." Jonathan replied

"Now let's try get in... preferably without getting sucked in by the wall" Daniel said

"And how to you suppose we do that?" Sean asked

"Easy... I've got this one" Daniel pulled out some kind of device; it looked like a TV remote control.

He pressed a button and it fired a wire which aimed itself into the tree and pulled Daniel up there. When he got up he threw it back down to Jonathan who repeated the process while Daniel landed on the roof of the house. Eventually all 4 of them were on the roof.

"Hey guys pass that to me" A voice down said

"Look its Joanna!" Daniel said

"How'd you get outta there Jo?" Jonathan asked

"I have no idea... I just keep pushing..." Joanna said as she caught the remote control and fired it to the roof and got on.

"Haahhahahahahhah... AHAHAHHA" Baron Samedi's evil echoing laugh was heard

"Let's just keep calm... he wants us to panic, simply do not panic" Daniel said

"Velvet here... how are you guys going?" Velvet asked on her walkie talkie

"Alright, we are on the roof and we are going in now" Daniel said

"Guys are you alright? Are you there? Daniel!? Joanna?" Velvet shouted through the walkie talkie

"Velvet relax WE ARE here!" Daniel replied

"OH NO! Something horrible has happened! I'm going to get more help" Velvet ran off

"... I've never seen Velvet panic like THAT before" Jonathan said

"No... anyway, let's move onto the other side of the roof" Joanna suggested

"Good idea, it might be easier to see or we can try get in from all sides at once to confuse Samedi" Daniel replied

However on walking through the centre spot of the roof, a hole suddenly came below their feet...

"ARGGGGH!!" All 5 of them shouted as they fell down the hole and landed on a slide. At the end of a slide the 5 crashed on the floor and in front of them was Baron Samedi.

"So kind of you kiddies to drop in" Baron Samedi smiled

"That's a really bad joke you know... anyway we've come to reclaim some books, can we have them please?" Jonathan asked

"Hahahaa... you are a funny little boy... but no I have better plans with these books..." Samedi laughed.

The kids tried to move to get away from him, but for some reason they couldn't... it was as if they were tied up by an invisible force, which the kids reminded themselves, they probably were.

"You aren't going anywhere, my voodoo powers hold you right here... I even prevented contact with your friend so she couldn't get help" Samedi said

"But she just said she'd go get help to..." Joanna started but Jonathan nudged her to shut her up

"Trying to hush your friend, so she won't spoil your plan? Well it doesn't matter; your friend is going nowhere..." Samedi said

Soon Velvet was falling down the slide as well...

"What's happened to me? I tried to run but..." Velvet started

"Ah you got caught up in the magic... you see I pulled you in here, so no running away and blabbing your friends were in trouble" Samedi smiled

"Why did you steal Cristalina's books? Why her pacifically?" Daniel asked

"Curious aren't you. You see I want to hold her books and I'm sure common will be happy to pay a certain price in order to keep the readers happy, so they don't lose too much interest in the never coming prequel Perfect Light Zero" Baron Samedi laughed "I'll be still rich... rich I tell you, best part of this is, Cristalina's nor her friends author powers will not work on me, Ahahahahah, hahahahahahaha" Samedi laughed yet again

"Yeah okay, it's really funny... but why Perfect Light, surely you could make more money off something else couldn't you?" Natasha asked

"Ooo... but making an author squirm is so much fun... you see they are used to manipulating characters with ease... let's see how they like it when it's the other way around" Baron Samedi laughed evilly again

"Doesn't this effect common more then Cristalina?" Jonathan asked

"I'm not done with her yet... I have other plans for her... soon she will write 'the really, super duper, exciting, thrilling, breathtaking adventures of Baron Samedi'. If she refuses I control her like she controls Jack in through his eyes... like in chapter 13, Jack will..." Samedi started

"NO! Don't spoil the plot! Don't spoil the plot!" Sean and Daniel shouted

"Aww... well okay... if you are in the vain hope of even reading it... I suppose I should let you have your fantasy" Samedi smiled

"But nobody will want to buy 'the really, super duper, exciting, thrilling, breathtaking adventures of Baron Samedi'" Velvet said

"If nobody wants to buy 'the really, super duper, exciting, thrilling, breathtaking adventures of Baron Samedi' then I shall make them... and you know I can" Samedi laughed

"You are awful, you make people read something that will be as boring as 'the really, super duper, exciting, thrilling, breathtaking adventures of Baron Samedi', even if Cristalina writes it not even she can make that exciting, it'd get predictable by chapter 2, you get killed, supposedly die, then laugh, repeat that throughout the entire book except in different places and for different reasons" Jonathan said

"If she isn't up to the task of writing 'the really, super duper, exciting, thrilling, breathtaking adventures of Baron Samedi', I'll have to find somebody else to control... there is that mayor... he's an author too but he doesn't use his power much..." Samedi said

Suddenly we hear a loud sneeze that strangely sounds like the words bullshit.

"What was that?" Velvet asked

"I didn't hear anything little girl" Samedi said "Now I need to get on with a certain ransom" Samedi laughed

"Hmm, something's not right here... you don't normally plot and scheme... you are normally somebody who can never die... so why the change?" Natasha asked

"Err... umm... because I wanted the change... I was sick of being somebody who could never die. I just remember being always told, oh go fight the spy even if you lose and get killed you can't die so it doesn't matter. I hated it... every time I got killed it was painful... a gunshot to the head, eaten by snakes, blown up at least 5 times, stabbed multiple times. So now I am in charge of my own destiny" Samedi laughed again

"So in other words you have an inferiority complex" Natasha said

"Hmmph... no..." Samedi folded his arms and turned away "Enough talk, I will deal with you later... as for now I have a ransom to negotiate" Samedi laughed

Samedi then left the room...

"This is Spiderbear, Baron Samedi is holding the books in his mysterious house... the roof is obviously a trap door, the walls suck people into them or something... this place is kinda weird. Anyway he's captured the kids who attempt to infiltrate the place" Spiderbear said through a radio

"Copy that... I'm on my way" A voice on the other end said

Spiderbear continued to explore the house by jumping from the trees and the rooftops in order to get a different and perhaps better vantage point to work out her best attempt of getting in, her movements were quick and athletic. She decided that the back door would be the best way to try as nobody had tried that way... any other way she must have viewed as too risky.

"Okay... I'm going in" Spiderbear said

"Be careful" The voice on the end said

Spiderbear landed in the back yard landing very quietly, she then headed for the back door and somehow managed to open the door with ease even though it was locked... creeping in quietly she saw Samedi on the phone floating in mid air.

"You have my demands I expect the money no later then midnight tonight" Samedi hung up the phone.

Spiderbear decided to take her chances and threw a knife at the voodoo master.

"Aww... thought you could surprise me did you?" Samedi laughed as he somehow stopped the knife in mid flight without touching it, then he spun it around directing it back at Spiderbear.

"ARGGH!" She screamed and ducked under a kitchen bench

"Now you can be my prisoner too..." Samedi laughed

Spiderbear was now also unable to move because of the power... "Man I shouldn't have allowed that... if only I could break free" Spiderbear spoke quietly, but when she finished that sentence she could move again

"WHAT?! How did you break my power?" Samedi said "Well, I'll have to resort to more normal means..." Samedi then got a sword from its rack and unsheathed it. Spiderbear then drew out a lightsaber.

"Hey this isn't Star Wars! Put that away!" Samedi said

"I'm a fan of Star Wars so there..." Spiderbear replied turning it on, it flashed a green beam colour.

"Well, you shall not have that..." Samedi said

"Yes I shall" Spiderbear replied waving it around in a threatening manner

"Why isn't it disappearing, how come none of my powers work on you?" Samedi asked

"I dunno..." Spiderbear said making a running slash at Samedi cutting his sword in two

"Well then... I have no choice but to fight you, this way" Samedi then drew a lightsaber out of nowhere and turned it on, in typical villain fashion it was red.

The two then begin to fight with lightsabers in the ever dramatic setting of Baron Samedi's fairly normal looking kitchen. Spiderbear swung overhead at Samedi who blocked and got into a lock with Spiderbear who pushed and tried to make him lose his strength but Samedi kicked her catching her off guard and then Samedi went for a lunge but Spiderbear put up her hand and Samedi was caught off balance allowing her to recover her footing.

"You are cheating! You have force powers!" Samedi said

"Well duh!" Spiderbear made a horizontal swing but this was blocked and gave another lightsaber lock but however a kitchen pan out of nowhere hit Spiderbear on the head. Samedi tried to make an overhead swing on Spiderbear but she sidestepped out of instinct. The two swung at each other again and tried to land a blow but it was no good and Spiderbear used the force to push a kettle conveniently full of hot water over Samedi's head and tipped it over him.

"ARGGGH! IT BURNS!" Samedi screamed but just as Spiderbear was going to make a devastating swing a saucepan was shoved into her right cheek. By the time she had recovered Samedi had stepped away from underneath the hot water.

"We are both strong in force powers... but I will win" Samedi then shot a bolt of lightning at Spiderbear but she absorbed it with her hand.
"Got something else?" Spiderbear asked

"Yes... NOW DIE!" Samedi suddenly rushed at Spiderbear swinging in an angry frenzy, all Spiderbear could do was defend from the relentless attacks of Samedi, he was much faster in his strikes. Suddenly just when he appeared to be finished she made another attack but then Samedi put his hand up and pushed her with the force heavily into the back door. Now on the ground, Samedi put his saber over her and towards her neck.

"You are beaten... it is useless to resist..." Samedi said

However Spiderbear pushed Samedi backwards again and pushed open the door and the fight now took place in Baron Samedi's seemingly ordinary backyard.

Spiderbear jumped on the roof as Samedi came out and just as he did she jumped and swung her saber at his face but he saw her and jumped away from it, she jumped off the roof and tried to get a jump in attack, Samedi however dodged again and the two fought once more slashing at each other. However Spiderbear didn't see the hole in the ground the was covered by grass... as she backed into it completely unaware Samedi made a strike which force her backwards and she tripped caught by surprise. Samedi now had her on the ground, his saber at her neck this time ready in case she tried to push him away.

"Haha, I finally defeated you... now I have something to tell you" Samedi said

"Well make it quick... I've got other things to do today" Spiderbear said

"Spiderbear..." Samedi breathed loudly "I am your father! Samedi said

"Oh, that's nice... can you please get on with this?" Spiderbear replied

"What? You are supposed to act all surprised and shocked" Samedi said

"What? What did you say, I tuned out the moment you said I have something to tell you" Spiderbear replied

"ARGGGH! You've ruined the moment, now you'll die!" Samedi swung his saber aiming for her head but she had rolled away and stood up. She was then ready to plan her next attack but suddenly he dropped his lightsaber. After he fell over she then realised he had a gunshot wound inside his back along with a crossbow bolt. Looking up Spiderbear saw somebody in what would be called a stereotypical ninja outfit, masked and completely clothed in black.

"Who are you?" Spiderbear asked standing up

"You can call me Viewtiful John. I too have reviewer powers like you...they were able to help me and you defeat Samedi for the moment. Regrettably though I must be leaving now" Viewtiful John said before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

"Wait!" Spiderbear called out

But the person was gone.

"Spiderbear" Peachrocks jumped into the backyard "Ah I see you've taken care of him" Peachrocks looked down at Samedi

"No, it was somebody who said something about reviewer powers and they had them, and I had them. You know anything about them" Spiderbear said

"Well a bit, you haven't written a story in the Perfect Dark section... or is it Perfect Light... umm anyways so you aren't an author in this world, but you are a reviewer... a reviewer can sometimes change the outcome of the story as you and Viewtiful John have... so perhaps because of this you two were able to defeat Samedi. Also a story goes nowhere without anybody to review it" Peachrocks said

"Yeah, I suppose so... let's just save the kids get outta here, and slaughter Slippy" Spiderbear said

"Sounds like fun" Peachrocks replied

The two save the kids from the creepy weird house and retrieve Cristalina's books and have them placed in a truck. The truck leaves for the stores around the town. Just as Spiderbear and Peachrocks are about to leave somebody pulls up in a black sports car.

"Well you finally did something without using your author powers" Cristalina winds down the window revealing herself to the two

"I moved books to a truck, so what?" Peachrocks replied

"It's better then nothing... anyway thanks I guess for putting it right, see ya around... oh and since its near the end of the chapter... UPDATE SOON!" Cristalina waved and smiled and then drove off

Peachrocks rolled his eyes

"Not even the end of the chapter and she tells me to update soon... geez" Peachrocks sighed

"Ah hem, where's my pay" Spiderbear said tapping her foot impatiently

"Oh he's over there" Peachrocks summoned Slippy

"Okay... I'm satisfied bye!" Spiderbear then went off for some Slippy hunting.

Back at the mayor's office

"You had control of the entire story, so don't go on about this stuff about reviewers 'changing' the story" Falco said

"To a point, you can't tell me I would keep writing if nobody reviewed now would I?" Peachrocks sat back in his usual chair

"I suppose not" Falco said

Who will finish reading through his eyes first? Will Peachrocks actually ever do something useful without using his author powers? How will this strange and silly story end? I dunno... I haven't written it yet. One thing is certain though, neither I or Cristalina (I hope) is writing 'the really, super duper, exciting, thrilling, breathtaking adventures of Baron Samedi'.