Hi everyone. Again, I apologize for the delay in updating. Life's been busy. Here's the next edition to this crazy adventure. I hope you enjoy it! Let me know.

An Unwelcome Arrival

Exile runs into the cockpit as Atomic flies the ship out of Perilous Mining Facility and through the asteroid field. "Avoid the asteroids and then jump to hyperspace," Exile says.

"Oh, really?" Atomic says, sarcastically. "I thought I would just drive us straight into one of those big rocks."

"That would not be wise," says a crackly voice behind them.

Exile and Atomic both jump, startled at the sudden appearance of Krusty.

"How did you get on here?" Atomic asks, amazed.

Krusty shrugs and says, "I'm like a wart. You can keep getting rid of me but I'll always come back again."

The Hard Liquor Binger begins to fire at them but hits an asteroid, which causes all of Perilous to explode.

"Damn," Exile says, "but at least everyone there was dead already."

"Yeah, true," nodded Atomic. "Hold on everyone. We're jumping to hyper speed."

The ship makes a sudden jolt, knocking Exile into Krusty's arms. Krusty holds on to him and smiles into his face, wagging her eyebrows. Exile jumps away from her and clears his throat. "Yeah, well, do you have any idea what those Sith want with me?" Exile asks.

"You are the last Jedi. Once you are dead, then they have won," Krusty states.

"Won what?" Exile wonders.

"Well, last I heard, the grand prize was an all expenses paid trip to the Outer Rim world of Farbia," Krusty says. "But I think they're throwing in some extra bonuses now."

"So there is a bounty on my head?" Exile says, trying to make sense of it all.

"Sounds like it," Krusty says.

"But who wants me dead and why?" Exile asks.

"Oh for Pete's sake!" Krusty grumps. "How should I know? All I know is that you're the last of the Jedi!"

"The last? That can't be true. Besides I'm not even a Jedi anymore," Exile says.

"You're the only one that wasn't killed by the Jedi Civil War or seduced by the dark side, gallivanting off to follow Revan," Krusty explains.

"That's bull! What about the Jedi on Dreamadream and Coreslime?" Exile asks.

"The Jedi Academy on Dreamadream is nothing but a brothel now. And the Jedi Temple on Coreslime lies empty. The Jedi couldn't come up with the taxes," Krusty explains.

"There has to be others, there just has to!" Exile states.

"Nope!" Krusty says.

"Yup!" Exile retorts.

"Nope, nope, nope!" says Krusty.

"Yes, yes, yes," Exile replies.

"Enough children!" Atomic yells. "Let's just call a stalemate here. I want to get to Tealess without listening to your crap."

"Are we there yet?" Exile asks.

"NO!" Atomic answers.

"Are we there yet?" Krusty asks.

"NO, I SAID!" Atomic answers. "If one of you asks me that just one more time, I turn this ship around and head back to that asteroid field. Now get your asses out of cockpit and leave me in peace."

Exile and Krusty make their way to a dormitory to talk and Exile says, "How can we stop the Sith from this murderous rampage?"

"It won't be easy," Krusty replies. "We'll need allies, weapons, and an extremely old woman with strong dark side powers."

"Where can we find all that?" Exile asks. "Besides, I just want to defend myself. Not start a war."

"You hear but you do not listen!" Krusty snaps. "My wound pains me. My hand has been cut off and my arthritis is acting up and all you can do I ask me stupid questions. Have you no pity for me? How about a nice relaxing back rub?"

"But you have only one hand left?" reminds Exile.

"No! I meant for you to massage me!" Krusty answers as she lies on a bed.

Exile backs slowly away towards the exit. "Uh… I need see if Atomic needs help…" He turns and hurries back to the cockpit. He pops his head in and says, "Hey, Atomic, Krusty needs to see you."

"Why?" Atomic says. "She wants to play Pazaak?"

"Yeah, sure, probably," Exile smiles. "I need to see T4-U2. I don't have time to play."

"All right," Atomic shrugs. "Haven't got much to do anyway. We're on automatic pilot until we reach Tealess."

Ten minutes later:

Atomic runs into the tearoom, shaking with fear. "You bastard, Exile! You are so going to pay for that one. Do you know what she wanted me to do?"

"Bee, Bee, Bee," laughs T4-U2.

"I think I have an idea," Exile chuckles, sipping his tea.

"I'll have nightmares for weeks!" Atomic says, throwing his hands in the air and giving Exile a dirty look.

Atomic hears Krusty coming down the corridor and he runs back to the cockpit. Krusty walks into the tearoom and sits down with Exile. "He's a feisty one," Krusty says, referring to Atomic.

"Hey, Krusty, what happened to your hand?" Exile asks.

"Poo Doo Man bit it off," she answers.

"I think I felt my hand hurt too," Exile says. "What does that mean?"

"Too much Space Slut magazine," Krusty answers.

"Oh… right," Exile ponders. "Doesn't it mean we have some strange Jedi bond?"

Krusty rolls her eyes, "You think too much."

"What do you think we'll find on Tealess?" Exile wonders.

"Well," Krusty says, "there are swoop races, Pazaak and a cantina with dancing Twi'lek girls. Same as most planets."

"A cantina?" Exile smiles.

"You'd best stay away from the cantina," Krusty warns. "You need to be mindful of the present."

"Thanks for looking out for my best interests, Krusty," Exile says. "I think I'm starting to feel the force again." He looks at Krusty thoughtfully. "Say, Krusty, do you think you could be my master?"

Krusty lifts her old eyebrows in surprise. "It's been a long time since I did the dominatrix gig, but I think I remember a few tricks."

"Ewww," Exile says, disgusted. "No, I mean my Jedi master. I need to be trained up again in case we run into more of those Sith."

"I suppose I could," she says, "but what's in it for me?" She eyes Exile's strong, muscular chest.

Exile shifts in his chair uncomfortably. "Well, I suppose I can give you a backrub once in a while."

"Deal!" Krusty exclaims, happily. "How about we start now?"

Exile looks about, "Hey, did you hear that? I think Atomic is calling me. See you later, Krusty." He gets up and rushes out of the tearoom.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tealess

The Ebon Hawks lands at Whatasmell Station, which is a space city above the planet Tealess. As Krusty, Atomic and Exile exit the ship they are approached by three guards.

"I am Lieutenant Dumb Hen of the Tealess Security Force," says the one of the guards. "You are under arrest for the destruction of the Perilous Mining Facility. Your ship will be detained and inspected and all your belongings will be rifled through."

"We didn't destroy Perilous!" Exile says. "Poo Doo Man did it!"

"Poo who?" Dumb Hen asks. "I've heard enough. Take them away!"

"No, you can't do this!" Atomic whines as they pull him along. "I'm tired of being under arrest. I'm so misunderstood."

"Boo hoo," says Dumb Hen, "save it for someone who cares."

The three travelers are taken to force cages while Dumb Hen and his buddies leave to raid the Ebon Hawk.

"Well, we might as well make ourselves comfortable," Atomic says.

"How are we supposed to do that?" Exile answers. "There is no room to sit in these things."

Just then a rude assassin walks in. "There you are! The last of the Jedi! I'm going to kill you and collect on that bounty."

"How did you get past Dumb Hen and company?" Exile asks.

"There's no one outside this door. They are too busy looting your ship," the assassin says.

"Damn! I hope they don't take my copies of Space Slut Magazine!" Exile worries.

"Space Slut?" the assassin says. "I love that magazine! Did you see the latest issue?"

"Oh, yeah," Exile smiles, "the centerfold in that one? Woo Hoo!"

"I used to date her," Atomic interrupts.

Exile rolls his eyes. "Yeah, right, Atomic. You're so full of it."

"I'm serious," he says, reaching into his back pocket. "I got her information on my datapad right here."

"Let me see that," the assassin says.

"Turn off the force cage and I'll show you," says Atomic.

The assassin turns off Atomics force cage and Atomic leaps off the platform and wrestles the assassin to the floor. They roll around fighting for the next five minutes until Krusty yells, "Atomic! Turn off our cages."

Atomic manages to push away from the assassin and flip the switches for Krusty's and Exile's cages. The assassin leaps onto Exile, his hands around his neck.

"Exile!" yells Atomic. "Be careful."

Exile hears the magic words and vomits into the assassin's face which causes the killer to let go and wipe it. "Damn it! That's nasty," the assassin sputters. Exile, Krusty and Atomic kick and punch the blinded assassin until he's dead on the floor.

Just then Lieutenant Dumb Hen walks in and says, "What's going on in here? Get back in your cages you filthy animals." He sees the body on the ground and says, "You bastards, you killed Kenny."

One of Dumb Hen's pals says, "That's not Kenny. Kenny is on holiday at South Park."

"Oh, yeah," Dumb Hen remembers.

"He said he was an assassin," Exile says. "It was self defense."

"All right, I believe you," says Dumb Hen. "Guess that's why my name is Dumb Hen. I'm going to let you live in an apartment here at Whatasmell Station because I don't want to have to babysit you until the Republic gets here."

"The Republic?" Exile wonders.

"Yeah, Admiral O'Nasty wants to speak with you," Dumb Hen answers.

Exile, Atomic and Krusty are led to an apartment and told to stay put. They gratefully fall onto the beds and sleep. In the middle of the night, the communications console starts to ring.

"What the… ?" says Exile as he rolls out of bed. He walks to the console to see it is one of the guards outside.

"You have an Ithorian visitor named Foxy out here. He wants to speak with you," the guard says.

"It's the middle of the night!" Exile complains.

"We are in space, sir," says the guard. "It is always night."

Exile huffs in impatience. "Fine! Send him in!"

The door opens and Foxy strolls in. "Howdy, Jedi," says Foxy. "My boss, Chowchow Habat, sent me to speak to you. He wants you to help us with a problem."

"What problem?" Exile asks.

"The evil Jerka Corporation is trying to interfere with our restoration project on the surface of Tealess. And since you're a big, bad Jedi, we thought you can use the force and put the fear of Chowchow into them," says Foxy.

"What's in it for me?" asks Exile.

"Chowchow says he can heal you. He says you have a big gaping hole he can help fill," Foxy says.

Krusty says, angrily, "Tell Chowchow that Exile's holes are my business to fill."

"Ewww, Krusty," Exile frowns. "Stay out of this." Exile looks at Foxy. "I'll come talk to Chowchow when I'm free."

"Sounds good, Jedi," Foxy replies. "Catch you later." Foxy turns and leaves the room and Exile returns to bed.

In a few minutes the console rings again. "What now?" Exile grumps as he gets out of bed. This time it's a woman named, Janet Torso.

"Don't listen to the Ithorians!" Janet screams. "We are honest, decent and upstanding people here at Jerka. Come by Jerka later and I'll fill you in."

"Why does everyone want to fill me?" Exile says.

"What?" says Janet.

"Nothing," Exile says. "I come by if I can."

Exile goes back to sleep until Lieutenant Dumb Hen comes back.

"You've been cleared of all charges," Dumb Hen announces. "But you can't leave until Admiral O'Nasty speaks with you. So go ahead and enjoy yourselves here on Whatasmell Station."

"What about our stuff?" Exile asks.

"Oh, yeah," Dumb Hen says, "You have to go to impound and get it out of the lockers. Have a wonderful day." Dumb Hen turns and leaves.

"What should we do?" Atomic asks. "It looks like we are stuck here for awhile."

Exile looks at Krusty, "Didn't you say there was a cantina around here?"

"You promised Jerka and the Ithorians that you'd go see them," Krusty answers. "Though I think helping others is a waste of time. It's better that we look after our own hides."

"Krusty, you're all heart," Exile replies.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Please review this chapter and let me know your thoughts! Hope you enjoyed it.