Here's another chapter in our crazy saga!

Ithorian Favors

The three companions left the apartment and walked about the residential module, finally spotting a sign for Jerka Corporation.

"Let's go see Janet Torso," Exile says.

In the reception area of Jerka was a protocol droid. "Hello, I'm I-P4U. Welcome to Jerka Corporation. May I help you?"

"We are here to see Janet Torso," Exile replies.

"Yes, she is expecting you. You can go in," I-P4U says.

They make their way through the offices, passing many people just standing around. "They don't seem very busy around here," Atomic states.

Finally they reach a desk with a tattoo-faced woman. Exile recognizes her from the communications console. "What do you want?" she snaps.

"You told me to come and speak with you," Exile replies, wondering at her bitchy attitude.

"Oh, yes," she says, confused. "I remember now… I think. I need you to do some errands for me."

"Whoa, hold on," Exile replies. "I'm not your errand boy, lady. I'm not sure I care for your bossy attitude. I think I'm going to go speak with the Ithorians."

"The Ithorians?" she screams. "They are the root of all our problems! They are using up all the restoration funds for growing their marijuana. They want to reseed the planet with their weed and then sell it for a profit."

"I don't know about that, I think I'll have to find out for myself," Exile replies. "And why are you yelling at us?"

"Do you have to ask? Look at my hair?" she screams, pulling at her hair with her hands. "I'm having a bad hair day and I have PMS!"

"Sorry about that," Exile says. "Maybe we'll see you later." The three companions turn to leave. They can hear Janet screaming and crying behind them as she stomps her feet.

When they leave the office, Exile says, "Well, that was unpleasant."

"Hey, uh, you really think the Ithorians are growing weed?" Atomic says, hopefully.

Exile shrugs. "Let's go find out." They walk into the Ithorian compound and up to the front desk.

"Welcome, fly boy," the Ithorian at the front desk says. "You looking to feel good?"

"What?" Exile asks, confused. "I'm here to see Chow Chow Habit."

"Ah, you want to see the boss man," the Ithorian replies. "Go on in."

They enter the complex and looked about for Chow Chow, mistakenly arriving in some sort of indoor garden area.

"Yes! This is the stuff all right," Atomic smiles, rubbing his hands together.

"Hey! What are you doing back here?" an Ithorian asks, crossly. "No free samples."

"So it's true, you guys are growing marijuana," Exile replies.

"What! Ah… no… this is just shrubs from the planet surface," the Ithorian says, nervously. "We have to… test them. Yah, that's it, we are testing them."

"Whatever you say, buddy," Exile replies. "We are looking for Chow Chow."

"Other side of the building," the Ithorian says.

They make their way to the other side and see Foxy standing there with another Ithorian.

"Howdy, Jedi," Foxy exclaims. "I'm happy you made it."

"I'm Chow Chow Habit," the other one says. "You're the Jedi with the big gapping hole."

"I suppose so," Exile says, slowly. "What did you want?"

"The evil Jerka Corporation is trying to stop our grow…, I mean restoration of the planet's surface," Chow Chow replies. "We are lovers, not fighters. We need a big strong Jedi to stand up for us."

"We won't be here very long," Exile replies. "I don't know what you expect us to do."

"Well, for starters, we need you to escort a droid from our docking bay, you know, bring it here," Chow Chow says. "We'd do it ourselves, but Jerka's got mercenaries hunting lone Ithorians, making it look like 'accidents'."

"That's terrible," Atomic says. "Why doesn't security stop them?"

"Have you met Dumb Hen and his friends?" Chow Chow says, knowingly.

"Yeah, we see what you mean," Exile answers. "What's in it for me if we do this?"

"Free marijuana to help fill your gaping holes," Chow Chow replies.

"I don't do drugs," Exile says.

"Speak for yourself!" Atomic interrupts. "It sounds like a good deal to me."

"That's because you only have half your brain left," Exile says. Then he looks at Chow Chow. "What else can you do for me?"

"All right, all right," Chow Chow grumps. "You drive a hard bargain, Jedi. I may be able to heal you using ancient Ithorian techniques."

Exile thinks for a moment. "All right, we'll get your droid after we pick up our stuff from the impound lockers."

"Thanks, Jedi," Chow Chow says.

The three companions leave the Ithorian compound and make their way to the Entertainment Module of Whatasmell Station via a shuttle.

On their way to the Tealess Security Force's office, they pass the cantina and Exile pauses.

"That is not our destination," Krusty reminds him.

Just then they notice that two mercenaries are hassling a Sullustan. "What is going on here?" asks Exile.

"Shut your mouth, punk," the mercenary replies. "It's none of your business."

"Please help me," the Sullustan begs. "They say I farted near their table in the cantina. But it wasn't me, it was a Rodian."

Exile turns to the mercenaries. "You heard him. He said he didn't do it, the Rodian did."

The two mercenaries run back into the cantina and drag a Rodian out. They begin to kick and punch him while Exile speaks to the Sullustan.

"Thank you so much for saving me," the little alien says. The Rodian begins screaming in the background as the mercenaries beat the tar out of him. The Sullustan leads Excile away from the scene and says, "I can't hear anything with that Rodian crying for help."

"Yeah," Exile nodded, "I know what you mean. So is there a reward?"

The Sullustan smiles and says, "Yes, here's your reward." He turns and farts at Exile and then runs away.

"Why that little …" exclaims Atomic.

"Forget about it," Exile says, waving his hand in front of his face. "Let's go get our stuff."

They walk in the TSF Station and talk with the protocol droid at the front desk.

"Where's our ship? We need to get our stuff?" Exile asks.

"I'm sorry, but a white haired woman was seen stealing your ship," the droid says.

"What!" Exile exclaims. "How can someone walk in and take our ship? Didn't you have it in lockdown?"

"I really don't know how, sir," says the droid. "But I do know that she took it somewhere on the surface of the planet."

"Can you guys get it back?" Atomic asks.

"So sorry, we can't spend time on that, we have other problems on Whatasmell Station. Your stuff was taken off the ship, however, it's right behind you in the lockers."

"What about my droid, T4-U2?" Exile asks.

"It was a tea serving droid, was it not?" the droid asked.

"Your point is…?"

"Well, sir, Tealess is a tea free zone. That means T4-U2 is now an outlaw. In fact we have security forces searching all over for him now," the droid replies. "There are even mercenaries trying to hunt the slippery tea server down."

"You mean you can't spare the manpower to hunt down a stolen ship, yet you can send a bunch of people after one harmless tea droid?" Exile asks.

The TSF has its priorities, sir," the droid replied.

"Obviously," Exile rolls his eyes. They leave the droid to fetch their equipment from the lockers. Exile throws open all the doors, getting more frantic with each locker he opens. "Where are they? Where are my Space Slut Magazines?" he says frantically. Then he looks at Atomic and Krusty with a knowing look. "I bet that Dumb Hen took them! Come on, let's find him."

They walk further into the office where Dumb Hen is standing. Dumb Hen quickly hides something behind his back when he sees them enter. "What do you want?"

"I know you took them. Give them back," Exile demands.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Dumb Hen replies.

"The Space Slut Magazines, where are they?" Exile says, gripping his sword tightly.

"Probably still on your stolen ship," Dumb Hen says.

Exile studies Dumb Hen's face carefully. "You better be telling me the truth," he threatens.

"You think I have time to read magazines?" Dumb Hen grumps. "We've got lots of problems. First there is your missing tea droid. I can't believe you had the audacity to bring a tea droid to Tealess. Then I can't find my friend, Booty. I sent him to spy on a smuggling operation and I haven't seen him since. Then we have dangerous, psycho killers running around loose at Whatasmell Station, a Devarronian and a Rodian. And to top it off, we can't seem to find the real Kenny, not the fake one that you three killed."

"Well, if you can spare a bit of manpower looking for our ship, maybe I can help you find some of those people," Exile says.

"You would?" Dumb Hen says. "That would be great, seeing that you cut off our fuel supply when you blew up Perilous."

"That wasn't our fault!" Atomic exclaims.

Dumb Hen rolled his eyes. "That's the problem with folks like you. You never want to accept responsibility for your actions. But you can't fool everyone."

"Whatever!" Exile says. "Listen, just find our ship and I'll see what I can do to help you out as well." They leave the TSF Station, deciding to head for the docks and retrieve the droid that the Ithorians wanted.

When they enter the shuttle bay, a Twi'lek man approaches them. "Hey, are you working for the Ithorians?" he asks.

"Yes, I'm helping them," Exile answers.

"Janet Torso says that if you deliver that droid to Jerka, she'll make it worth your while," the Twi'lek says.

"I don't like Janet Torso. She's a bitch," Exile answers plainly.

"You'll be sorry, Jedi. You better watch your back," the Twi'lek threatens and walks away.

They enter the Ithorian shuttle bay and see the droid standing with an Ithorian and one TSF officer.

"Oh, I'm so happy to see you, man," the Ithorian gushes.

Exile eyes the shuttle. "Could this thing take us to the surface of Tealess?"

"That would be up to Chow Chow Habit," the Ithorian says. "Take this droid to him and maybe he can work a deal with you."

"We have company," the droid says. They turn around and see six mercenaries walking towards them.

"Did you forget to close the door behind you, Jedi?" the Ithorian asks.

"Oops," Exile replies.

One of the mercenaries raises their gun and says, "Janet Torso says hello." A battle ensues but six mercenaries are no match for two Jedi and a scoundrel. The poor Ithorian and TSF officer lies dead at their feet.

"Should we forget the droid and snag this shuttle?" Atomic asks.

"Atomic!" Exile exclaims. "We are not thieves."

"But we steal weapons from dead people," Atomic reminds him.

"That's different, they don't need their weapons anymore," Exile replies.

"Speaking of weapons," Krusty says, holding up a strange looking blaster. "Look at this baby."

"Wow, cool," Atomic says, glassy eyed, "someone modified this for sure. But it looks a bit illegal."

"Maybe Dumb Hen will be interested in it," Exile says. "But let's get this droid back to the Ithorian compound."

Back at the Ithorian Compound

"Groovy, you got the droid here," Chow Chow says. Here's some special gloves as a reward."

"Gloves?" Exile says. "You promised to heal me!"

"Now, now, don't be hasty, Jedi," Chow Chow says. "Healing would be a very special gift. You have to help us some more to earn that reward."

"How about a shuttle ride to the surface?" Krusty asks.

"That would cost you even more, old one," Chow Chow replies. "Looks like you'll have to help us a lot."

Exile sighs heavily. "Fine! What do you want us to do next?"

"That squid head, Loopy Slush, won't give us the time of day. He's running the Acme Exchange Corporation, but it's just a front for the criminal Exchange. We think he's helping Janet Torso and Jerka. We need you to go talk to him and convince him that it would be more beneficial to him if he helped the Ithorians. Tell him we would give him a piece of the action," Chow Chow explains.

"All right," Exile begrudgingly says.

They find the Acme Exchange Corporation and speak with the Rodian guard outside.

"We want to speak to Loopy Slush," Exile says.

"We have no business with you," the guard says.

"But Chow Chow sent me," Exile says.

"So? We got no business with Chow Chow either."

"How can we make an appointment?"

"Go talk to that whore, Buxom," the Rodian answers. "She's usually at the cantina unless she's busy with Loopy, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I get it. How can a whore help us?" Exile asks.

"She's the only one he listens too," the Rodian answered.

OOOOOOOO

Hope you enjoyed that. Please send a review and let me know. The more people I know are reading this, the more time I spend writing it. Thanks! Hope it made you smile.