Daylight Musings...
The shrill ring of the telephone jolted me out of whatever remains of sleep I still held. Smoking the privileged cigarette held some appeal after the dreams from last night.
Must be the change in locations, adding my already volatile musings, had been a recipes for hot crazy dreams. Rubbing my eyes with the backs of my hands. I tried not to growl out Bobby's name.
''Oh come on Bobby, answer your damn phone''! Stomping into his room, I had every intention of using the pillow I had clutched in my hands as a make-shift prodding tool.
Waking him up as suddenly as I had been. Ruin my dreams would you! The wind went out of my sail when I saw the empty unmade bed. As I stood in the doorway the answering machine kicked on.
''Hello Bobby are you their''? You could hear the pout as the voice purred from inside the black electronic box.Ooozing with sex appeal she continued.
''I missed you last night. Playing with my toys just aint the same as playing with you''.
On and on the message went getting so explicit, I actually considered picking up the phone just to shut the bitch up! Boy, how shocked would she be.
It was stupid, I was stupid! Of course he has girlfriends he's not a monk for gods sake. Score one - another point under good reasons not to tell him about Robert. Let him go on believeing it was another man, a man he knew nothing about. If he could keep his women under wraps, I could at least pretend I had a man at hand as well. Someone big and strong waiting in the wings. Spare me the theatrics of the irony in this situation please. His flesh and blood woman lucky bitch was probably lounging beneath him even as I threw my mental tantrum.
Where else could he of gone? The unmade bed led me to believe he thought it was pretty damn important! I glared at the blinking red of the alarm clock. Taunting me in its electric red tempo-eight a.m.-eight a.m.-eight a.m.- that late alreay! So maybe he had gone out for a quickie with mystery phone tag woman.
Being irrational seemed to agree with me as I stuck out my tongue, and flipped the bird at his unmade bed, where he should be sleeping at eight on the weekend.
He made me so angry sometimes. Looking at me with one eyebrow rose-as if Bobby Goren was ever completely clueless. He knew how to play a woman, hell it was part of him, finding out how to get to people then blowing them out of the water. Sometimes he forgot how to play fair, it was only natural some of it would transfer over into his life. These lines had been blurred over the years. So if he really pooled his resources, it will be hard to keep resisting. He would find a crack in my armor eventually. But that didn't mean I wasn't going to fight like hell either.
Last night when he'd rushed into my apartment-all chivalry tall, dark, and armed. Throwing his arms around me. I was surprised by his lack of restraint, I realized that sometimes I forgot how human he actually was, that he wasn't superhuman. I mean I knew that he was mortal it was just that I got so caught up in things sometimes that I over looked that side of him.
Being their crushed into his huge embrace, I'd panicked at first going ridged. Then pulling back I allowed my self to search his face. What I saw their- he had been worried about me perhaps more than I gave him credit for. There was a bleakness reflected by the set of his jaw that made the lump in my throat hard to swallow past. A yearning to make sure I was alright that made me breathless. I thought about telling him everything then. He was giving me so much with the openness of his unguarded expression. That I felt I should give him something else in return. Telling him he had nothing to worry about, how the dreams were just silly non-threatening fantasies yea right how the apartment ordeal must have some simple explanation-nothing that was dangerous.
Then I'd seen the light go out of his eyes as he tilted his head to study the message written across the wall. I knew then that Bobby would never settle for any of the pale excuses I could give him. Of course he would be right. That was the worst part because the more I thought about it, the more I knew just how much danger I could be in.
I smiled up at him doing the best to dampen the anxiety growing inside of me and stated.
''I was planning on redecorating anyway''.
Bobby being who he is understood. Taking hold of the situation he called Deakins, and got some guys down to do the report then look around. After that he offered me his arm, supporting me to his apartment. Leaving the crime scene must have been hard for him, but he'd left to be with me. What more could I have asked for? Except for maybe some of that bone shattering sex the woman on the phone seemed to be getting plenty of. That would have taken my mind off things.
Fuck Alex, you need to stop thinking of him in that manor. He'd corrupted my thoughts, making me feel like a dirty teenage boy. There were too many doubts to sink my future into something that shaky.
Hearing something shuffling outside the door. I went to open it wide, to find the reason Bobby had for leaving so early in the morning. Hoping he didn't reek of perfume, as he smiled at me sheepishly in remorse. I yanked open the door to find a note taped to the splintered wood.
On the front of the envelope my name was printed in big block red letters. This was odd and I considered waiting for Bobby to open it up, but my curiosity got the best of me. With trembling fingers I undid the seal, and looked inside. Dried rose petals clung to the thick black construction paper. It smelled like sex. So I wasn't surprised to find most of the petals stuck together by something that had already dried. I gagged on the strong scent of roses drowned among something only a man could provide.
The paper was done as a decoupage, like it had been clipped out from a novel, and it read;
And as he spread her out beneath him.
He knew where she belonged...
She belonged to him.
Not much to go on, to the point non-the-less. Reading through the letter a second time Bobby walked in the door, totting coffee, and breakfast in his long arms.
''I let you stay for one night, and you're already reading my mail''. Noting the envelope in my hand, he put down the bags. Turning with a forced cheerfulness, he seemed tight around the mouth, something was wrong. Quickly for such a big man he had the note before I even had time to be alarmed. Dropping it not long after discovering the context-I watched in horror as the desecrated petals floated to the floor. I could not tear my gaze from the perversion that lay at Bobby's feet. Feeling violated whoever was leaving me threats knew enough to know where I had stayed last night-I barely heard him as Bobby commented in a disgusted voice.
''Eames, what the hells going on, is this from Robert?''