STARGATE ATLANTIS
PRIMIS: THE MISSING
A/N: Okay, I came back! It seems the pull of this fantastic group of friends and their characters were too much of a pull after all and I just had to start writing stories about them again.
E
CARSON
In the days that followed the tragedy, Teyla looked like the warrior woman I always knew she could be but never witnessed for myself. With every new possible lead she became fierce, focused on the task ahead, and hardly aware of her own needs and comforts to consider. When the leads ran dry again and again she started to look alone, lost, and nobody could breach the long days that turned into several months to help fill the loss of those she loved the most, and which we shared with her also in our own way.
Grief was not allowed. We all felt what happened couldn't be true; we were in denial, that I knew for myself but I was also willing to go with the majority on that one. And yet, time revealed no clues to its hidden past. So now like us all, Teyla breathes, she eats, but only because the silent presence of Ronon pushes a plate towards her and takes no for an answer. When she finally looks up at him with eyes sad and circled dark showing signs of each sleepless night she has had to endure alone, it's hard not to pull her into an embrace but she rebukes contact now and never, never does she lower her forehead in the traditional greeting of the Athosians. She rejects everything that made her who she was before all this happened. I am no physiatrist, but I am aware she is falling apart and I can do nothing to stop it.
There are no words or gestures that reach her to take away the hurt and longing she is going through for her missing son. Torren - presumed left for dead or killed by the Wraith is lost in a new galaxy we know very little about, except what Rodney could gleam from the little Ancient technology that shows up here and there and every so often. We now know they ventured here which came as a surprise. If only we knew more about where we now floated in space. All we know is that dangers follow us like they did in Pegasus.
It is almost a year now since we were wrenched into this unknown galaxy on our way back to Pegasus ensconced in Atlantis, finally severed from the bureaucratic ties to Earth and released to gain more knowledge and intel before the inevitable attacked by the Wraith, but only to somehow find ourselves drifting from planet to planet in a real and fraught battle to survive in this unexplored galaxy we allowed Rodney to name.
He named it Primis.
Rodney took our misadventure the hardest, of course. Something went wrong and a bright, white light shimmering like opal engulfed us and knocked us all unconscious in seconds. None of us knew what had happened but we ended up millions of miles away from Pegasus and, of course, Rodney blamed himself for not anticipating any problems when we left Earth, and now as I watch him in his usual pose of head hanging low; chin almost on his chest, my heart breaks as nothing gets through to my friend either. He is a lost soul also.
Next I turn to watch Ronon, our unofficial guardian. Stalwart. Broken. We all are. We all miss them.
A few months back, we not only lost Torren that day. We lost John Sheppard.
The self-sacrificing heroic act as he dove forward to protect Teylas son from this galaxy's version of the Wraith continues to play out in my mind. He was already wounded and I ran to stop the blood that poured from a deep cut to his left forearm, only to skid to a halt and watch in horror as they were thrown through the Stargate as it closed in front of our shocked faces and Teyla's scream. It took away our commanding officer and friend. For Teyla, it took away her almost two year old son and new lover of only a couple of months.
We were all broken and I didn't know how to glue it back together again.