Sacrificial Doll
Part 6- An Uneasy Confession

A Ryvius fic by Elise

Rating: R
Warnings: Vampires, blood, yaoi. Oh, and AU. With spoilers.
Pairings: IkumixKouji
Disclaimer: If I wrote the original, you would have seen a lot more of Elina Rigby. She's cute (Not that this has anything to do with the chapter at all...)
Summary: Piloting student Kouji Aiba is bitten by a vampire, and his friend Ikumi promises to protect him- against himself, if need be.

April 9, 2006: Finally, three years after the start, two after the last chapter, an actual new chapter! I apologize to those of you who are actually reading this ;;; I am not the world's best updater.

IMPORTANT NOTES.
Please read before continuing!
This chapter contains SUPER SPOILERS for Ikumi's past. If you don't want to know about Ikumi's issues more than I've already hinted at, then, well, you'll just have to wait to read this until you've finished the series. Sorry.

"They found a body."

Juli looked up at Stein Heigar's words. "What?"

Some of the Zwei sat in a break room in the officer's section. Juli was at the table, drinking a coffee and writing a letter to her mysterious and unwillingly-talked-about significant other, with Carabona badgering her about the details of her relationship. Brian was trying to ignore them, unsuccessfully, when Stein entered. His words had been addressed to Juli.

"The body of a female student was found by one of the patrols. She had been bled from the neck, according to the examiners, but no blood was found at the scene."

Brian and Carabona both looked pale, while Juli looked pained.

"We were too late," she said, mostly to herself. "Have you-"

"I've already doubled and armed the patrols," Stein interrupted, sensing her question.

"I should contact Aiba-kun."

"Aiba? Why?" Stein was clearly puzzled as to why the Second Class pilot should be contacted.

"Because," the sub-captain said, "He was attacked. He's involved in this."

"Juli, is there really a need to keep a lower Class student involved in what is clearly a matter for us and the higher staff?"

Juli stood and rounded on the other Zwei. Brian and Carabona backed away. "This is a matter of everyone's safety! We should be notifying the entire student body, not just one assaulted boy!" She slammed her laptop shut and took out her com-card, a grim look on her face.

Stein stayed out of her way.

Ikumi and Kouji were walking down a hall, on the way to a diagnostics training session when Kouji's card beeped. Ikumi stood a few paces away, respectfully not listening.

Kouji's face fell as the conversation progressed, and when he put his card away, the other boy rushed back to his side. "What? What is it?"

"Someone else died," Kouji said softly. Ikumi stiffened.

"No."

Kouji nodded. "Juli just heard from Stein. They found her a while ago, in one of the more remote corridors." Ikumi looked at his feet.

Kouji knew the other boy was blaming himself. Since he'd been hurt, he'd realized that beneath his happy exterior, Ikumi was troubled by what he perceived as an inability to protect the people close to him. He blamed himself for Kouji's half-vampiric state, for George McCartney's death, and now for this girl he didn't even know. Ikumi had taken everyone on the ship as his responsibility. Each and every one of them was under his protection, and each hurt was his own failure. Kouji admired Ikumi's resolve. He realized that it was hopeless to try to protect everyone on the ship, but he also realized that he wanted to help Ikumi do it.

"Are you okay to go to class?" Ikumi said, so softly Kouji wasn't sure he heard him.

"I'm fine," he said. It was a good, catch-all response.

Ikumi nodded. "Let's go, for now. Tonight, I'm taking care of things, once and for all." The steel in his voice startled Kouji.

"But…"

"This has to stop, Kouji." Ikumi looked him in the eye. "I never, ever wanted to kill, but to stop this… thing… from hurting anyone else, I will destroy it."

Kouji didn't like this Ikumi. His face was taught with tension, the laughing green eyes dark and hard. He didn't like it at all.

"Let Yuki do it," he blurted out.

"What? Why? Why that brat?"

"Because you shouldn't kill. You were meant to protect, Ikumi, not to hurt."

"I can do this!"

"Ikumi…."

"No. It hurt you. I will take care of it. Myself. Without that little prick." With that declaration, Ikumi stormed off to class, with a helpless Kouji trailing in his wake.

The girls knew something was wrong. Women were good at sensing that, and just because Kozue and Aoi were only sixteen didn't mean they were any less acute at it than a grown woman. Neither said anything through most of dinner. Aoi frowned, though, and Kozue had a small, concerned look. Finally Aoi got sick of the silence.

"What is wrong with you two!" she demanded of Kouji and Ikumi. The boys blinked and straightened in their chairs.

"What… what do you mean?" Kouji stuttered. He leaned back as far as he could, almost tipping his chair, when the girl loomed over him.

"Oze's quiet," she said. "Any idiot can tell that means something."

"Hey!" Ikumi said indignantly. She ignored him.

"I… Ah… That is…" Kouji started sweating under Aoi's intense glare. Kozue pouted in Ikumi's direction.

They grey-haired boy looked away from Kozue, and started talking. "He got beeped by the doctor-types," he lied, saying whatever came to mind. "They think he's got mono. And… maybe anemia."

Aoi immediately relaxed into her more familiar Mommy Mode. "Oh, Kouji! Why didn't you say so? People get mono."

"From kissing," Kozue put in. "Have you been messing around, Aiba?"

Kouji stuttered again. He was not helping his case. Ikumi jumped in again. "That's not necessarily true. People who haven't been kissing sickies get mono, too. It's just one of those things. Really, give the guy a break; he's vitamin-deficient."

Aoi huffed and sat back down. "I hope they gave you something." Kouji nodded quickly. "Are you taking it?"

"Yes! Do you think I'm stupid? Really, what the heck…."

Kozue laughed at that. After all, if Kouji was spouting his normal whine, what could really be wrong?

Later, the two boys sat in their room, gathering the few weapons Ikumi had gotten before.

"Why are you still hiding from Housen?" he asked Kouji suddenly.

"What?"

"You're still hiding everything from Housen. After the fuss in the beginning, you didn't want me to tell her anything. And now that the vampire stink has died down-"

"It has not died down."

"Yes, it has, Kouji. No one believes it. We're the only ones not assigned on patrols who are the least bit on the lookout. Us, and your brother." He added this part with some distaste. He'd almost been getting along with Yuki- not quite, but almost. And then the kid insisted he couldn't take care of Kouji. Well, Ikumi was going to show him. He was going to protect Kouji himself.

"Now that the warnings aren't coming every day, no one's watching but us," Ikumi said. "I covered for you today, because I don't want Housen involved any more than you do. To protect her, and to protect you, she can't know what we're doing. That's my reason." He ignored the little voice that said it was because he didn't want to share Kouji. This was different than Yuki. "What's your reason, Kouji?"

"I… want to protect her, too…" he said slowly. It was as if the thought was just occurring to him. Ikumi scowled at him. He looked at his hands.

Kouji sat on the bed as Ikumi worked, sharpening a stake. He wasn't doing anything. While Ikumi's hands were busy making weapons to save him from this monster, he sat, his hands idle, doing absolutely nothing. He didn't have the strength to whittle stakes for very long anymore. His soft, useless hands, thinning from malnourishment because he couldn't keep anything down. Ikumi's hands were getting just as thin, from giving him blood and staying up to watch over him.

"I'm embarrassed," he admitted softly, staring at his too-thin hands. "I don't want her to see me like this. She can't handle it like you can." He looked up at Ikumi. "She's a strong girl, but I don't want her strength. I want yours."

He could hear Ikumi's breath hitch as the other boy stiffened. Maybe it was the wrong thing to say. Maybe Ikumi was taking it wrong. But that was what Kouji wanted. He knew he could rely on Ikumi's strength. He'd looked into his eyes this morning and seen the frightening resolve that hid under his friend's blithe exterior. He didn't want it, thought that he was killing the Ikumi he'd become such good friends with, but Ikumi would kill for him, and that was something Aoi couldn't do.

"Kouji," Ikumi said weakly.

"I'm sorry." He flinched away from the pleading green gaze. "I shouldn't have said that."

"No, I…"

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I'm really happy you're my friend, but…"

"Stop there, Kouji," Ikumi said, a little harshly. "I don't want to hear it. Just listen to me for a minute.

"I have no idea what's going to happen tonight. We may not find him, or he may find us. Someone may die. It might not be him. But I'm not going anywhere until I say this.

"I've been in love before. I know how it feels. I was so in love with my sister that it hurt. I'm fond of Kozue, really fond of her, but it's you that I've fallen for." Ikumi put the stake he'd been sharpening down on the bed,and got to his feet. Kouji watched him helplessly, mesmerized by the seriousness in his stance, the way he stood straight and moved to his side with confident, purposeful strides.

"Ikumi…," he choked out as the other boy knelt and took his hand.

"I told you already that I want to be the one you think of, for anything," Ikumi continued. "That hasn't changed. I want to be the one you rely on, the one to protect you, the one you come to when you need anything, day or night. I want…," his voice wavered here. He looked down at their entwined hands. Kouji could see that he was losing his momentum. So he broke it completely.

"And what if I don't want to be the one being protected?" he said, joking. "What if I want to be the man in my relationship?"

"Oh?" Ikumi perked up. His eyes seemed to clear from the clouded sadness they'd held. "Does that mean that you want to top? Or just that Aoi-chan bosses you around?"

Kouji scowled and swatted at him with his free hand. "Idiot. Who do you think would be in charge here?"

"Me, obviously. Haven't you listened to the girls talk about their weird boy-boy shows? The taller one is always in charge."

"Hmph. That doesn't mean anything." Kouji pouted slightly. He couldn't help it. Ikumi was completely irrational.

The grey-haired boy pulled him close, twining his arms around him. "If you want," he said slowly, "I'll need lots of protecting and comforting. The girls don't need to know we're breaking their rules."

"Knock it off, Ikumi," Kouji scolded. He was starting to get uncomfortable, although he didn't know if it was Ikumi's words, or his arms tightening around him.

"I was serious about the protecting," Ikumi insisted. "You can be the strong one, if you want. Once we beat this thing and you get your strength back.

"But until then, I'm going to protect you. I couldn't save my sister from herself, but I will save you." His arms tightened even more, and Kouji's chest was pressed against his. Although Kouji wasn't sure what to think of Ikumi's confession, his warmth and strength were welcome.

"Ikumi…" Kouji tried to begin again, but the other boy cut him off, again.

"Please don't say this is wrong," he said, his voice pleading. "I know it's weird for me to love you, but please don't say it's wrong. I couldn't stand to hear that again."

"Again?"

Ikumi loosened his hold on Kouji, and looked him in the eyes. He paused for a long moment, and finally began. "I was in love with my sister. Really in love. My world revolved around her. She was the only one I wanted to be with, the only one in the whole universe that mattered. And she loved me too, but…. She was ashamed of it, and she… she killed herself. She said we were weird and wrong for loving each other that way. I couldn't… I couldn't make her stay. I couldn't stop her. And now she's gone. And I won't let that happen with you! I will protect you. Whether you love me or not, I will protect you!"

With his outburst ended, Ikumi seemed to collapse, his head falling into Kouji's lap. Kouji hesitantly put a hand on his head. It seemed that it would be his job to give his protector comfort when his strength wavered.

He paused. Was he admitting that he needed the help Ikumi was so set on offering? He looked at his own frail hand smoothing grey hair.

He was. He needed Ikumi. And it seemed that Ikumi needed him even more.