STARGATE ATLANTIS

PRIMIS : THE MISSING

: THE PAST

They were down but not out, John thought, as he watched his small team sit on the large boulders this strange but colourful planet had dotted about in the immediate area. He moved towards them purposely to take another piece of the edible yellow fleshed fruit Ronon was hacking non-too-gently into with his sword. To get through its tough skin to the delicious prize inside Ronon was excelling in and John watched Torren as he held onto his leather coat and tugged it continually to get his attention. John laughed as Ronon pretended he wasn't there and eventually helped Torren out by lifting him up until he was face to face with the smiling man and grabbed a piece of the fruit from Ronon when he wafted it in front of him. A small mouth greedily demolished more and more until Teyla called time, saying he would get a sore stomach if he ate any more. All eyes, of course, especially Rodney's turned to watch Carson's expression and he hurriedly agreed with Torren's mum after receiving a glare his way. But she had a point. Would they get ill? After all it was new to them, like so many others.

"It came up safe on our scans." Carson Beckett assured everyone.

"No citrus?" Rodney asked in mid bite. "You are sure?"

"Rodney! I told you it was safe. It's our second day of finding and eating these and you were fine yesterday. So eat them! Be thankful we found some more today for everybody else."

Rodney took one out of Carson's hand and sniffed it cautiously before tentatively placing it in his mouth, trying to quell a growing smirk that had him pull his lips to the side. They really did taste pleasant.

John was pleased for the last few minutes when a quiet peacefulness had settled in the team. They decided to camp here whilst they harvested more of the fruit to take back to Atlantis for the others to enjoy.

John placed a wriggling Torren back on the ground and immediately he was off running towards his mum, but futilely resisted the hand that came to wipe off the excess juices that were covering his chin. Teyla caught John's eye and they shared a quick, private smile that was meant only for each other. John wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms at that moment and kiss her long and slow, but now was not the time and place. Back on Atlantis, however.

A light mist descended upon them and John grimaced as a rain now dropped down through his hair and into his open collar. He zipped it up and looked up into the darkening sky. The turn of weather was certainly unexpected.

"Rainy season?" Ronon asked beside him.

"Who can tell? I don't understand this world." He said faintly.

Torren looked to Teyla for permission to run into a growing puddle and shook his head smiling as the small boy jumped into it with both feet in glee. If only everybody could be that happy, he thought. And yet, he looked around at Teyla, Ronon, Rodney, Carson and Lorne, and their faces had full smiles on them at his antics; yes, even Rodney's, he was pleased to notice. A few other marines in their surrounding sentry positions were also looking back and sharing in the fond memories that reminded them all of their youth.

Reaching out a hand, Teyla gripped it tight. Warm flesh on flesh.

"I shared your dream from the previous night."

"Of Wraith?" Teyla asked concerned.

John scratched his head, clearly uncomfortable that he had said something he now regretted. "Yeah. Wraith. Except they weren't…really. Sorry, I'm not making any sense. Ignore me."

A risk, but she took it and put her warm hand on his face for an instant to grab his attention. "Tell me?" She spoke softly, her eyes beseeching his to tell her the truth.

"I dunno, Teyla. Like you said the other night, it was like they were trying to communicate with me."

"Perhaps you are not far from the truth."

"What do you mean?" John asked as he withdrew her hand from his face but squeezed it gently before letting go.

"On Athos there were stories of Wraith's melding with minds but it was just stories told around the fire at night."

Teyla caught the look John sent her, and could not help but feel she was on to something with what he had been thinking. She threw a look over her shoulder to check on Torren before she continued.

"Torren!"

The scream that tore from Teyla's throat that fateful day would stay with them all over the coming months. It was one borne of a terrifying alert to the knowledge that her son was in danger. Teyla pushed off of John's chest and broke into a run, even as the rain came down in cascades, leaving eyes trying to separate the wet sheets to view a young boy in the grip of a large familiar foe with long white hair and a feral smile.

The wraith seemingly appeared out of nowhere and scooped Torren up under one arm whilst the other brandished a stun gun which he proceeded to turn on the marines who were closest to him and knocking them down immediately before turning it to face Teyla who had an arm outstretched towards her son; her whole being focused on him and only him.

There was something about the grin the wraith had on his face. It looked particularly satisfied with its situation; like it had no reason to fear an attack. The reason of that became clear when two others materialised beside him and the truth hit John in the gut. They had not realised they had been harvesting fruit, and sitting down to enjoy them, beside a cloaked and open 'gate. It now materialised in all its glory, and the quiet portal shimmered; its exit would always be to an unknown world as there didn't seem to be anything else but the 'gate in situ, and the minutes were ticking by.

Ronon raced for one of the nearest drones and Lorne and two marines tore towards the other, leaving Rodney grabbing Carson's arm and push him to safety behind a large rock in the centre, before he looked him in the eye and they both drew their weapons ready to shoot at what came their way.

Teyla blew out a deep breath and her weapon came upwards to become an extension of her right arm which began to shake with hesitancy, not wanting to harm her own son.

The fighting raged around him, but for John it came down to only Teyla and the Wraith holding the love of her life in a fierce grip that had the child sobbing uncontrollably. The rain did not register anymore; his path was clear and his arm holding his sidearm was rock steady; his sight focused. There was a place between the Wraiths eyes that his own were fixed on and his finger was only a millimetre away from putting a bullet in that area.

Then Teyla saw and put her hand up in sudden panic that her son could be hit instead and tried a placating hand up towards the wraith instead, frantically looking at John to stop moving forward.

But he was a wraith…and wraith don't care. John knew that. Teyla had taught him that in the beginning. He advanced.

The wraith stepped back, once, twice. John realised that even if he shot him now, it would only take the strike of the bullet to force the two backwards into the shimmering pool. Teyla's body was rigid with fear; John stopped.

"Put him down." He bellowed, changing tactic and side stepping to the right. The din around him had subsided slightly so he presumed all the other drones had been killed and it was just the tall, long haired one holding Torren that remained.

Then he noticed the Wraith's single look at his wrist. A timer. The 'gate would collapse any minute.

All that mattered was Torren.

Another glance at Teyla's terrified eyes and he was committed to his plan.

John Sheppard was never as fast a runner as Ronon, neither was he stronger than him. He also wasn't as agile as Teyla, but in the next moment he drew on their strengths and what they taught him, and he turned his body into a spin and drop that took one of the Wraith's leg from under him and the beast fell onto a knee, still holding Torren tight who was now crying with increasing volume which seemed to annoy the wraith who proceeded to slightly hit him, just dazing him into silence; his round eyes going wide with shock at the treatment. The rude slap on Teyla's son gave him all the adrenalin he needed to complete his attack and John lunged for the wraith again; his head hammering straight into the unguarded fleshly belly part of the large body, holding and twisting him as he did so to knock him away from the horizon that meant death; his arm taking the brunt of his efforts and was ripped open in a wide cut from the gravel on the ground.

The wraith wavered as John landed on his knees, gasping with exertion and looking on in horror as it simply picked up Torren from where they landed and flung his annoying load into the unknown. Teyla's scream goaded him onwards towards the wraith with rage and with a scream of his own he landed on the wraith, and with momentum they both too disappeared from view, just as the 'gate closed and the shimmering pool dissolved.

John Sheppard was floating.

He didn't know how, but there was a warmth on his flesh that was almost comforting. Eyes were too heavy to keep open but he willed them to remain so for a time. Colours eventually floated past and then came the realisation that he was actually moving. Like a truck hitting him he started to remember what had just happened to him…to Torren!

No!

Where was he?

Torren?

John started to struggle and the strong arms holding him dug into the flesh of his arms to keep him still. He thought someone was speaking to him but his thoughts were garbled, hearing roared like the ocean and nothing was clear.

He allowed his heavy head to fall back and he knew he moaned but there was a sickness in him that was threatening to make an appearance and he let them know of his discomfort before it happened.

The next thing he knew he was roughly dropped and he curled up onto his side before letting go of the contents of his stomach.

Feet were in sight. Pacing and scuffing the ground; clearly in agitation.

Then they walked away and left him there. He lay there panting when he watched two sets disappear from view and he took his chance to move not knowing that one remained and had placed a solitary foot on him, pushing into his stomach. John looked up into the face of the same long haired wraith and quickly tried to prise his foot off of him for some air, but the wraith pushed and pushed and was winning the war to take his breath from him in increasing oxygen depleted increments, when…

"Stop!" John could hear the roar rolling down the cool corridor's floor and into his thumping head.

The pressure only released slightly, but it was enough for John and he pushed it off him and he scooted backwards on his backside and arms until he hit a solid wall and his legs failed him and he could move no further. Long legs laid out in front of him, useless.

Long haired wraith moved to the side to allow the queen wraith to look down at him with interest. The feeling was mutual. Her face actually allowed for John to do a double take. She was undoubtable wraith that was sure, and the muscular arms and slight stooping posture were a give-away, along with the talons that curled and uncurled in expectation of a tasty meal. But, it was the face – she was, oh god save him…beautiful! In her own way.

On careful inspection, she had wraith like eyes that made him shiver, and she was cold and had an unpleasant green-grey colour; but her skin was smooth and wrinkle free, eye lashes long and silky and there was a smile that when it went wider he could instantly see the difference to her polished and straight teeth – nothing pointy and sharp here.

"You stare, stranger – stop!"

John scowled. "Where's the boy? He's with me."

The queen raised a finger and played with the nail, smoothing it for a time before cocking her head to the side and, of course, ignoring his question, which made John nervous for the outcome.

"I do not need to tell you anything. You will answer my questions."

"You haven't asked me any yet." John sneered, eyes darting everywhere for a clue to where Torren was.

And he was up.

The large hand under his chin took his whole weight. His eyes were now directly lined up with that of the queen's, his arms and legs uselessly hanging down at his sides.

"You seem different. I do believe you are not from here. Tell me who you are?"

John took as long as he dared to think this out. He was in a different galaxy, they surely would not know who he was here, and so keeping his name quiet here seemed redundant. What the hell…

Sharp fingers dug in his forehead and she kissed the top of his head, smelling it afterwards. Pain, fierce as anything he had ever experienced tickled a dance across his skull and back again, it made his breathing stop momentarily and he blinked rapidly in confusion. His brain warred with his mouth until …

"John Sheppard."

"And the boy?"

"Torren."

"You are almost pliable John Sheppard. That is good. But I feel a stubbornness in you that I will find enjoyable later. Amusing even." She laughed and John cringed. He was in trouble. It had been extra hard to stop her mind interfering with his. He only gave her the basics though.

She peered at him and for some reason he found himself a bit hot under the collar. He looked at her wraith eyes, though, and that was soon knocked out of him.

"Yes, indeed. Powerful stuff, emotion."

"Wh…what?" John said from another cell he now found himself in without realising he had moved anywhere.

Crap! She was dangerous.

Was she reading his mind now as she stared at him through the bars? John forced his mind to calm; pleading instead for the safe return of Torren to him. Teyla would never forgive him if he lost her son or had him killed. John swallowed. He would never forgive himself either.

He had to show this queen some stubborn return of strength so he forced his deadened legs into motion, wondering what on earth they had done to him to make him feel like this.

Another rush of nausea threatened but he forced it back and locked his legs and stood as straight and victorious as he could, raising his head to lock eyes with her. She batted her eyelashes and smiled, looking behind him onto the floor he had just risen from and then walked away; her red silk cloak following her like a cloud with her long red hair wrapping around her waist in soft curls and a warm embrace.

John blinked to clear his eyes and turned to look at where her eyes had briefly touched.

Torren!

John was with him in seconds, his joy at finding Teyla's son in the same cell as him almost overwhelming. A quick feel to his wrist and neck and John pulled him up to his chest and rocked him back and forward, softly calling his name over and over again and to open his closed eyes. Tears streamed from his own and he didn't care. Torren was alive. Teyla's son was alive. His charge, his lover's whole reason for being was alive and he would do his very best for that to remain that way, whatever cost to himself.

It took, for what John reckoned, another two hours for Torren to wake up, and even then he was groggy and quiet.

"Hey, sport. You okay?"

Torren just brought a shaky hand up to the bruise on his face that the wraith put there, and when John saw his little face crumple again at the memory, he knew right there and then that he would personally kill that wraith with the long hair if it was the last thing he would do. This little boy lying in his arms did not deserve to hurt like he did now at such a young age. Only a few hours earlier he had enjoyed playing in puddles and eating delicious fruit. Now, he was floppy in his arms and in shock, not speaking, and had been sick several times.

Water had been provided, so John washed his face with some on his hand, mimicking Teyla earlier motion with the fruit juice on his chin, and then gave him some to drink before rocking him to sleep and whispering words of comfort to him as he dropped off.

Unwilling to leave him, but needing to tidy up the mess, John put him down on the ground before bundling him up in his jacket and then placing him on the thin mattress in the corner of the cell. He went to work tidying up as best he could with the sort of sawdust mixture he found in another bucket and grimaced at the sickness they both had brought up. It must have been the gate travel, John decided, for them both to react this way.

He turned round on his knees and raised one leg up and placed his hand and then chin on it just watching Torren sleep. A sharp throb brought his attention to a large and still bleeding cut on his left arm that he had never noticed until now. John poked at it and grimaced. It hurt but it was manageable. He tore some material off the bottom of his shirt and soaking it with water, he dabbed at it until he got all the small stones and dirt out, and then further cleaned it as best as he could, pressing down to make the blood stop. Satisfied with the results, he sat down beside Torren on the mattress and placed his right hand on his back, closing his eyes with relief to feel him alive still.

John wanted to sleep badly himself, but he forced himself to stay away; not wanting to let Torren out of his sight again if he could help it.

There were no other sounds to be heard and out of curiosity, John eventually stood and moved over to the wraith like tendrils that made for a gate in the otherwise stone surround cell, making him think he was actually captive in a natural cave.

John's thoughts turned to Teyla and the rest of his team. He knew they would be frantic with worry…oh god, Teyla especially.

He pressed his forehead into the bars and closed his eyes but his mind had other ideas and barraged him with several unwanted memories of past events. Weakness made his legs go like jelly and a nauseating feeling rose in his throat as the memories persisted. It was like he was asking himself questions and the answers were being ripped from him against his will.

His breathing quickened and his throat dried up. Finally, he coughed, holding back the memories was taking a toll. If he could only open his eyes and stop the dreams.

"I don't want this…" He cried in his mind, then out loud. "No! Stop…!"

John's eyes flew open, only to find the queen standing in front of him and there was no smile this time. Panting he could only watch as she scraped her long finger nail down one cheek.

"You resist me. How do you do that?"

John fell down on his backside, all strength gone and the sting in his arm pulsating. He concentrated on that instead of her poking in his head; digging his own finger in deeper until it hurt.

She was doing that, he realised. He would never open up the wound again just to direct his thoughts elsewhere.

With great effort he pulled his finger away from his arm and wiped the blood on the ground; looking with dismay at his ravaged wound.

When he looked up again the queen was gone, but in her place was the long haired wraith.

"You have upset my queen."

"Yeah? Go figure!"

"Your insolence will not go unchecked. She already can manipulate you somewhat. It won't be long before you are hers."

John rolled his eyes. "Oh don't be so melodramatic."

Long hair just laughed and laughed in that annoying 'wraith laugh type of way' that made John's blood boil. But launching himself to his feet to face him wasn't on the cards just now, so he just watched him, eye for eye until long hair had had enough of his 'insolence' and produced a stunner that John recognised.

"Oh crap!..." was the last thing he said as he felt the blast encompass his body into unconsciousness.

Waking up from a stun blast was never easy, and usually there was a team member ready to see him through it. Having a toddler look down on you with worry almost tore John to pieces in that moment and he prayed that Torren had only just woken up himself and had not had to sit with him for hours alone until he woke.

Trying to raise his head, he smiled in his direction. "Hey sp…Torr…en. Hey…sport…" He coughed.

Torren wiped John's forehead of sweat and John again could have cried. No! This was all wrong. No child should be the one to look after him when he woke; never mind a child not even two yet! He let his head fall with a thump and grimaced; more for Torren worrying about that now, than the pain it caused him.

"Hey, sport." He tried again. "I'm okay. You?"

Torren seemed to think this over and it hurt John to see him just nod once. "Lost your voice, huh kiddo?" John raised a shaky, but now bandaged arm he noticed, and patted the top of his head as it was nearer. "You'll get it back, don't worry."

Torren blinked and stuck his thumb in his mouth. John sighed, Teyla had been trying to stop this habit back on Earth, but seeing as it seemed to calm him down, and John didn't think it a bad thing just now, he let him. It was the least of their problems just now.

John was still finding it hard to recover from another stun so soon, but managed to crawl back over to the mattress, tugging Torren into going with him.

"John, sic…?"

John stretched his lips once more and lied for the first time to Teyla's son. "I'm fine Torren, just going to lie down for a bit. Hey why don't you snuggle down here beside me?" The relief of Torren talking in his 'kiddy' way, outweighed the fact he had lied to him. Only trouble was, he knew it would just be the start of many and he hated that idea. "Nice to hear you speaking, kiddo. Told you it would come back." John was pleased it had happened quickly.

Torren did mould himself in as tight as he could and John wrapped his good arm over the small body to give him some warmth. John kissed the top of his head as he felt himself fall unconscious again, hoping that Torren would still be with him when he woke up.

He wasn't.

TO BE CONTINUED.