STARGATE ATLANTIS

PRIMIS : THE MISSING

A/N... This chapter is dedicated to Shepsgirl72 who is being whumped herself just now! Hope better soon.

THE PAST

JOHN

Hope was dying and it was dragging John down with it. Weeks had passed since he had had the tracker surgically placed in his wrist, but no 'games' has been initiated yet and he was worn out thinking about it.

On his usual rock seat inside the cave, John sat watching Torren sleep with his right thumb stuck in his mouth. It soothed the boy from the daily miseries they had to endure together. John's own right thumb moved softly over the raised lump on his left arm where he could feel the intrusive tracker under the skin as he watched the gentle rise and fall of the small boy's stomach. He put his head in his hands and sighed. He wanted more for him, but he was paying the price of an earlier bid for freedom when he had seen a chance of escape when the doors to the outside world malfunctioned one day. Of course, he couldn't grab Torren in time and run before somebody noticed, and they called out to the wraith to stop him. He had been beaten down to the ground and held in place by two drones until long-hair hauled him up and then turned him around to watch as Arla and Vari were also repeatedly hit until all three were unceremoniously dropped to the ground.

Torren had clung to him then, inconsolable. Arla and Vari were taken to their bunks and had their cuts and bruises treated with healing salves. John had been left to fend for himself. He wasn't hurt bad anyway. John's eyes had darted to Taan's face, but the older man just shook his head and followed long-hair to the door; receiving new orders, he supposed.

Now, dejected, John had no idea how to get out of this predicament and he was sorely disappointed in himself for failing Torren this way. So, he sat brooding on his rock, day after day; chances of escape were non-existent – not without hurting those left behind anyway, and he was depressed – it was not a good feeling, and certainly one he was used to. Without his team…without Teyla, he was lost.

But returning to his guardianship duties, John checked in on Torren again, and grinned when he woke and smiled up at him. Each time he did that, a little piece of his heart fell away and left him feeling heavy with responsibility. Torren was tough – he quickly hugged him and was off running. John was amazed in how little time there was taken to orientate himself between waking up and then running off to play with his friends. The little kid was amazing. Resilient. John was jealous.

Life continued on like this for a few more days, perhaps weeks; how long he didn't know. He had stopped caring a long time ago. There had been no more fights. Long-hair and the Queen seemed to be away somewhere. John had only seen the queen twice more since their captivity, but it had only been fleeting visits, and even though John knew he was being watched by long-hair, the Queen had not spoken to him at all. Eventually every-body, including Arla, Taan and Vari spoke to him again, and he was slowly integrated back into the community.

One day John heard the whine of a dart landing near-by.

"Did you hear that, John?"

John was by now used to the look on Arla's face when she was surprised, so he knew immediately that she, like everybody else, knew something had arrived.

The pair had been standing at the wall, uncoiling the long, sharp conduits and feeding them through a narrow opening. The limus that was left behind, fell into a gloopy pile that had them almost wanting to gag at the stench it accumulated.

The wall shifted just minutely under his palm, the huge doors opening; a dart became visible. John was in full alert. He spun round to see Torren just to his right. He had time to grab him and run, somehow making his way to the dart and fly it away. Possibly he could sit on his knee while he piloted the dart – just like the day he had been born. His mind worked in overtime at the possibilities for escape.

But, reality struck once again into his sharp mind at the desperate situation he was in. He couldn't leave the others behind by fear of the repercussions. He just couldn't do that…and yet…?

"Arla. Given a really good chance, would you like to escape?"

Arla's hands froze in her work and she fairly gave John a look. "John!" She whispered, looking around. "I thought you had given up on that idea. Talk like that is not good. What if someone else heard you?"

John bit his lip and ducked his head sighing, before righting it again. "I've stayed compliant for you all, Arla, even knowing I have had some chances I could have taken…but that…" John pointed beyond the cave door, "…that is a ticket out of here." He drew his finger down fast.

Arla started up her work again, terrified they had been spotted in a heated discussion. "Vari and I. We used to talk of escape when we first arrived. The penalty for that, John…well…I have been on the receiving end of it far too many times."

John's face softened. "I know that from personal experience, Arla. I do not need reminded about how much I had you hurt – that hurt me more than you even felt, but…"

"Shush!"

Two drones framed the door as the long-haired wraith entered with two more.

"Everyone stand at the far wall."

John gulped and scooped up Torren into his embrace as he ran towards him. "What's happening?" He asked Arla.

"The results of a culling." She said, her voice devoid of emotion.

John gawked at the clearing that had been left and waited on the influx of new people the dart must have brought.

Several men, woman and children were led into the room. Their faces, stunned, shocked and even delighted at seeing others they knew. They all looked like they had escaped death and they couldn't believe it. John was frozen to the spot, suddenly unsure what wold happen next. Reluctantly he followed Arla's lead and remained standing where he was.

Suddenly one of the men must have recognised someone near to where Taan stood and made a break from his line to run towards him.

Long-hair intercepted his run and rammed a rifle into his side, bringing the man to his knees and gasping for air.

Low murmurs spread around the room but no-body moved to help him. Arla held back John's arm, knowing him very well by now. John watched with horror as the expected outcome started to happen. Long-hair looked everyone up and down; stopped a second too long to stare at John, but grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Not you. Not yet!" He said slowly, before reaching out to a young lad that stood beside Vari and rammed the butt end of his rifle into his stomach.

Hardened, possibly deadened, John let it happen, and he felt sick to his own stomach. He held the back of Torren's head face down on his shoulder, until it was over. Never did he want the small child to witness such violence if he could help it.

The wraith left and the new and old mingled. There were bitter sweet reunions, but mostly the new arrivals had a look of abject horror that John could identify with.

But a hope had been born out of the last few minutes for John. A hope, to not only escape with Torren, but to bring everybody along for the ride also.

And that ride just happened to be a dart, probably just through a rock wall that could be moved if he felt like moving it one day soon. He just needed the right person to help him.

That day came five days later.

The new group of culled humans had been a wake-up call for everyone in the cave dwelling. They told stories of the heat of summer and of the low crops; hunger forcing many to try and leave the Island by feeble make-shift boats that never made it to shore. Horror stories of how the wraith hunted them down, feeding on them whilst they drowned or chased them down for sport.

John listened, with the others, interested in hearing what was happening in the outside world. Rumours of a better land higher in the mountains, but unattainable by foot raised his head and he questioned them endlessly about what they knew.

A young man called Blu befriended John. He was of medium height, but scrawny through lack of food. He reminded John of a younger Lorne, and was impressed with the way he handled himself, often calming a growing argument, and helping young and old find bunks to suit families together.

On the third day that Blu arrived, John watched him working and judged him the one to ask, knowing he was well liked. "What do you say about us all escaping here?"

Blu whipped his head around fast to match John's interested look. "Best thing I've heard since coming here. But how are you going to do that?"

John continued his walk around the enclosure as if they were just talking about their day. "You materialised from a Dart. I can fly those. I can get you all out of here."

It was John's uncanny ability to know when there was good in someone that he spoke so frankly and openly. He was not disappointed.

"Then let's form a plan."

John stopped dead in his tracks. "I half expected disbelief and you running for the other side of the cave!" He smiled awkwardly.

Blu scoffed. "They talk about you here. What you are like. The trouble you caused in the beginning when you arrived. I think you are just the person that we need to escape. That you can fly a dart is a total shock, I'll not lie. But they say you are an Ancient, so that explains that."

John stopped and put a hand against his chest briefly before carrying on. "I'm not an Ancient. I just have some of their blood, passed down through the generations. It can get me into all sorts of trouble – trust me, but it also enables me to do some useful things – like fly a dart."

Blue kicked a stone and they both watched it roll away. "You can really fly it?"

John cleared his throat. "Yup."

"You want to scoop us all up and get out of here. Is that what you are suggesting?"

Bright kid! "Yup." He said again, barely holding back a smile.

"Then let's do it."

"There's a chance either some won't be in on this plan or for some reason or other not everyone makes it. Pure and simple, these things happen. People have to know the risks."

"Leave it to me. Half of the people here I am related to in some way or other." Blu laughed. "There's a thing – can I leave them behind?" His smile lit up the dark rock face, such was its power. John ended up laughing like he hadn't laughed for ages, almost doubling him up. Torren, startled at the sudden noise from him, ran over and John lifted him high until he was sat on his shoulders, legs dangling down his chest until John held one foot in each hand and felt little arms cradle his head. "Dada, what funny?"

John looked up to the side and smiled up at him. "Life, Torren. Sometimes, prayers are answered."

True to his word, Blu had rallied everyone…almost everyone anyway. Taan, amongst a few others, kept a wary distance; much to John's disappointment, but Taan had kept himself to himself of late, so John respected his wishes and didn't try to force him to join in with the escape and didn't think he would report it either.

John decided they needed a word to either whisper or shout out loud when the perfect time came. They would all run to stay together as tightly packed as they could.

The word was: Home.

On the eighth day of knowing the new group of people, and John's exit plan was in everyone's heads, long hair entered the cave after being absent for a few days. The sound of a dart's arrival gave John a hint he was back. He liked to take his position at the door as if tempting John to make a run for it and could often be seen coming and going and just staring at John whilst smiling.

He was trying to unnerve John, and the only problem was he was succeeding.

"It has to be soon." John said to Blu." He watches me like a hawk. I think something is going to happen to me soon…I can't risk being separated from Torren. We have to leave."

The long-haired wraith suddenly appeared at John's side. "Keep working. You are slacking, ancient one."

John bristled, but returned to his painstaking work. He would escape if he still had fingers to work with anyway.

Helping Blu, he started shifting the coils faster, but out of the corner of his eye he watched as long-hair took a small black box from inside his coat and turned it round and round in his hand. John gulped, instantly recognising a tracker box.

The long-haired wraith walked over to his 'throne' and idly played with it; sometimes making a show of about to press a button, but he always refrained. John's nerves, meanwhile, were being shredded.

John happened to miss the time he actually did press the button, but when he woke up to see Blu looking down on him with worry, he knew he was in trouble. Obviously his tracker, which he had suspected not to be working, was up and running. Perhaps, as Arla suspected, it had taken time to integrate with him. Whatever reason, long-haired wraith had a measure of control over him that hadn't been there before; and that added to the situation.

"How long…?" John coughed.

Arla supported his back, as Blu and Vari took an arm each to steady him as he stood on shaky legs. He looked nervously around, but Torren had missed the incident to his relief and there was no sign of the wraith.

"How long was I out?"

"Not long, only a few seconds. You fell down like a sack of rocks. Are you okay"

John felt slightly nauseous and had a headache, but overall, he was okay. "M'fine. Seems they got that thing in my wrist working then." He said to no-one in particular as he rubbed his slightly tingling wrist.

"That wraith walked away grinning greatly when you fell down."

"Probably away to report back to the scientists that whatever is in my wrist is now active." John poked at his wrist, but didn't allow anyone else to touch it. He had watched long-hair playing with the box, so he suspected he had been pressing buttons to no avail for a time.

"It's imperative we leave here soon. Goodness knows what else they can do to you, John." Blu looked sad without his usual smile.

"Seems so. Everyone ready?"

The three surrounding John nodded their heads. "Good. Because tomorrow we are leaving!"

The night felt long and John was unnaturally cold. He pulled Torren's smaller body closer to him. He was always a hot bundle anyway, so he cuddled in and breathed in his scent through his hair. It reminded him of the scent of Teyla's hair and his heart ached. "I'm getting you out of here, Torren. Tomorrow is a step forward in that direction." He whispered.

An expectant atmosphere hovered around everybody when morning came. Many glanced at John constantly, just watching him and waiting on his nod to move into a huddle.

John readied Torren and asked him to repeat back to him what he had been subtly training him. Torren's small mouth whispered the words in John's ear and clapped his small hands when John nodded and smiled towards him. He had repeated perfectly what he was to do given the correct situation. Part of his instructions were, if he had not grabbed him first, to either run to Arla, Vari or even Blu if need be. All three of them would look out for Torren whilst John reached the dart. John actually wanted Torren with him, but understood that might not be possible, so he trusted his three new friends to care for the boy until they could be reunited.

Chance had it that John was near to the open doors when the Queen arrived in her own dart a few minutes later. The rumours of her arrival had been true and with a heavy heart John just knew that this time her visit would spell danger for him. Their trial run of knocking him unconscious via the tracker had no doubt excited them with their control over him, and his imagination was wild with what else it could do. He had to leave; that was now obvious. He just hoped that if he pulled this off, they could get it out of him, or he knew he would have to leave their company once they had escaped; he could not endanger them with his presence as they would be all traced otherwise.

He had been eyeing a couple of darts that were within a tempting distance and had been weighing up his chances to take one, when the sleeker looking one arrived. A slightly different model to the usual ones, John was in a quandary to know if should try for her nearer one or one he knew he could easily fly - worried that her one would be different somehow.

He walked purposely toward Arla. "You had better grab hold of the cutting equipment like we talked about, Arla." She gulped, knowing he meant to use them on his arm. "It is time? I should warn the others?"

"Not yet." John whispered over his shoulder. "I will give the signal. Tell everyone to be prepared and grab what they can when the time comes." Arla quickly moved over to join Vari in the quest.

John had caught Blu's eye across the way and nodded toward him. A single movement that portrayed so much. Blu stood still and straight, watching the wraith at the entrance to their cave and back to John. He would be ready to act whenever John gave him the nod.

Work had not long started this morning, so John took his place near the door, full of anticipation as to what he had to do. His torn and cut fingers clenched and unclenched with the weight of his decision that involved most of the people, but he was resolute and determined to go ahead. There was no going back.

John inched nearer the door that was now wide open. He whipped his head round once, and was amazed to find Torren just sitting quietly watching him; eyes wide and slightly weepy looking. John flashed him a reassuring smile and on a wink, swallowed some and strode purposely towards the open door and possible freedom.

Straight into the path of the long-haired wraith.

"Going somewhere, Sheppard?"

John's heart stopped and his breath hung on a prayer, but he simply could not back down now.

Thankfully, he could see the Queen's long red coat disappear out of sight, and he saw that most of her wraith had followed with her, leaving just a handful behind. Her dart was temptingly close and that the way was clear for all to run out into the cavernous area where he could beam them up and into it.

John licked his lip in imitation of his foe who stood before him, head cocked to the side, and looked fondly at the stunner hanging at its side. Could he reach it and fire on the other wraith in time?

The single word was out of his mouth almost unconsciously and before he could change his mind.

"Home!" he shouted, barrelling into the large wraith's stomach and all the time worrying desperately about Torren. He had no time to look and see what was happening behind him; he just followed the beast down to the ground with a surge of strength made available to him by adrenalin.

Long-haired fought against him, but Sheppard's surprise attack took him unawares and for a moment he could not get the upper hand. Feet ran past Sheppard's eyesight as he rolled and scrambled for the stunner – Blu's feet he realised. He allowed a fast look, and was satisfied that several of the men ran with Blu and Vari to bring down the other wraith now running their way.

Sheppard had presence of mind to notice that one was making towards the alarm and shouting through the din that was rising amongst wraith and human, Sheppard managed to get Vari's attention to stop him.

He never saw what happened there, for next he felt his body being lifted into the air and down again in a full body slam by long-hair. He landed hard and was winded. John found he could not move for a moment, but he then thought he heard Torren cry out for him, so it gave him the strength he needed to roll to the side and just avoid a blow that would have knocked him out, or even killed him. Long-hair was one of the strongest wraith he had ever had the misfortune to deal with. With him he needed to be quick and decisive in dispatching him.

Long-hair caught hold of an ankle and pulled him closer, leaving John scrambling on the ground to get away, kicking out with his other leg. His fingers tried to find purchase on the stony ground but it was slick and wet with limus.

One punch, two; they were like rocks barrelling into his stomach, and he let out a huge whoosh and panted with the pain; it left him breathless, speechless but not without will.

If long-hair had a weakness it was just that: long hair. John grabbed it and used it like rope to pull himself closer to the beast, striking out with an undercut that rocked its head and probably broke his own knuckle with the effort. Their screams matched each other, and as John tugged and tugged and punched him in its throat. It twisted to get away and left its flank wide open where his blaster hung loose in its holder. John lunged for it. Kicking out as he did so to take the wraiths legs from out under it.

John could not risk taking a second to look at what happened around him, but the noises and shouted words were reassuring; they were winning their coup. His fingers touched the top of the blaster and even though long-hair had regained enough equilibrium to now match his body position, John gave one last almighty punch under its jaw once more. Crying out with pain, his fingers encircled the weapon and fired several times in quick succession. Some went wild, but two landed firmly on the wraiths chest and he fell face down to the ground.

Feet trying to find strength to anchor him to the cave floor, John finally used his knees to lift himself up and lunged onto the fallen wraith's body and quickly searched its pockets to find the small black box that could mean defeat for everyone yet.

It wasn't there.

John yelled in frustration and heard Blu shout that all the wraith were down, and did he need help.

Winded and hurt, John shook his head, but accepted the strong grip from Blu to help him up off the ground. The people he was responsible for were all collecting outside their enclosure walls out into a space beside the dart. Torren was trying to pull away from Arla's strong hold to run towards him.

John ushered Arla to let him go, and after leaving long-hair with no time to check him more thoroughly or even check if he was dead, John pocketed the stunner weapon and ran towards the dart and Torren, raising the small child into his embrace as he ran towards the cockpit.

"Circle up!" He cried spinning a finger.

To Torren he squeezed him tightly. "You'll be okay, keep your eyes closed if you want, Torren. I've got you."

John jumped into the cockpit with Torren and placed him on his lap, pushing down his body momentarily so he could see what was going on all around him.

His eyes fell on Taan, and it was not good.

The next second saw understanding reach John's brain. No wonder the man had such a large belly, where everyone else had bordered on hunger.

He was obviously a wraith worshipper and fed well out of sight. He now stood with his hand poised on the alarm, just allowing John to take notice of what he was about to do; an evil and malicious smile on his face.

He had been a mole, so that meant the wraith were probably prepared for this attempted escape. With no time to stop it now, John continued with the plan, secure in the knowledge that perhaps Taan had not known of his ability to fly a dart.

Blu, who had also noticed what Taan was up to, pointed to an opening side door where several wraith started running towards them following the alarms thundering sound.

It was now or never.

"Home!" John shouted again and raised the dart to the now startled face of Taan and some on the ground. Wraith started firing but John sat secure within the overhead canopy to protect himself and Torren. Thankfully, the controls of the Queen's dart were very similar and John was able to fly it. He flew it up and came down firing on wraith, before initiating the beam and screeched over everybody that wanted to be free, thereby pulling them inside the dart's computer in the familiar white, blinding beam as he flew over their heads.

Taan had given the wraith enough warning to close the Hive's larger doors to the outside world, but it could not contain the dart and its precious load, so John fired and blew them wide open and then they were free.

A white, misty morning greeted John and he had to shield his eyes against the brightness not seen in weeks. His forced his eyes to override the sharp light that eye lids threatened to shut against. Torren stayed still on his knee and he risked a hand off the controls for a second to place a comforting hand on the young boys shoulder. He tried to be relieved, but the pressure was on to get far enough away to safety and land the dart without the power of his tracker making their position known immediately.

The quietness was a welcome calm against the noise of the battle as they left the cave. He wondered if he had managed to catch everyone. Did some rebel or did he manage to save more when they saw they could get out? All these things he would find out when he released them again, so for now he held his breath and concentrated on looking for the land marks made known by Blu for the way to the mountains where he said no wraith had ever ventured for some reason.

Salt plains, as expected, made the white glare brighter in the cockpit and it made John's stomach turn in on itself, almost making him sick. Torren, he noticed, also struggled with the whiteness and had his small fists pushed tight into his eyes. John pulled him tighter to his chest and winced at the fresh bruises he had received from the long-haired wraith as Torren pushed against him in a bid to get more comfortable. He flinched when his hand patted his head. Looking at it, he saw a bright blue bruise start to appear over his hand; his knuckle was indeed broken, the finger swelling tightly and making it difficult to move. Damn. He hoped it would fix itself well and not need further surgery when he got back to Atlantis. He grimaced but ignored it for now.

The white blended into a dirty brown/green as John flew higher over decimated forests that had a sparse amount of trees left untouched by the devastating effects of the strong summer sun.

John absentmindedly rubbed his wrist. He had expected to be brought down like the last time and that would have meant death for them all if he fell unconscious whilst flying. Knowing that could still happen, John bit his lip and flew as fast as the craft would fly towards the open piece of land Blu's advice was directing him towards.

He had flown high for a time now and was panicking he had went the wrong way when he saw it.

The area of land was tight but Blu thought it doable. John gave it a precursory fly over and deemed it safe enough also. He would like to take Blu back to Atlantis if he could. His expertise could prove invaluable to his crew.

Flying quietly, the pressure of being responsible for countless lives weighing heavily on him, John slowly allowed a soft smile to quirk at the side of his mouth. It looked good. It looked more than good. It was life for these people; it had to be organised that he pressed the button at the correct time. He owed them their lives.

Holding his breath and talking reassuring words to Torren in a bid that it would work for himself also, John quickly released the beam and watched as several people appeared on the open ground beneath him.

Not one life was lost, and as they all looked up at the sky searching for him, John felt a lump in his throat as he settled the craft into a hover, pushing the canopy back to breathe in the mountain air.

He could see their excitement by the amount of hugs and back slapping amongst them, but most of all he was excited to see his new friends in Arla, Vari and Blu, doing a sort of dance as they looked up at him and laughed.

John caught Blu's eye and motioned out of the lowering craft that he needed space to land. Blu pointed to the furthest away area and the escapees rushed to make room for the dart to land.

John hugged Torren to him as he landed and powered down, tears threatening to spill as he had been so tight with worry. He no sooner kissed the top of his head, when arms reached up to take Torren from him and help him out of the cockpit also.

Arla spun Torren around and embraced John briefly, before John took Torren back and the little boy tucked his head under his chin.

"We did it!... YOU did it!" Blu smiled and clasped his shoulder.

"That we did." John smiled and clasped his shoulder back. "Now for the hard part. We have to remain free. You sure the wraith do not come here?"

Blu shook his head. "They will not know which way we went anyway. At least not for a while. They are not the brightest."

John had had more up close dealings than these people knew, so remained quiet on that subject. He looked at his wrist and Vari stepped forward.

"Perhaps you had better let Torren go explore whilst we do this." His face was apologetic.

John grimaced and smoothed his fingers again over the bulge. "If I'm out afterwards, you could see about re-setting my knuckle in the other hand whilst you are at it." He said dead-pan.

Arla took hold of his hand and he hissed. "Gentle!" He added.

"Sorry, John. Look, it is all swollen."

"Yes, well." He looked at Vari, ignoring that particular pain for now. "You know what to do."

Vari grimaced himself, but firmly nodded. "You had better sit down."

John sat on a fallen tree and handed him the wraith stunner. "Hit the tracker with this when you get it out. That should kill it."

Arla took it from him, but Blu took it off her. "Allow me." He said. "It will be my pleasure!"

John smiled through his grimace. Now he reminded him of Ronon.

"Wait!" He said, looking for Torren.

"He's busy looking for small stones to make a fire ring. Do not worry, he is being watched." Arla said as she kneeled in front of him and prepared to help Vari remove the tracker by holding his arm steady.

"Ready?" Vari asked.

To be continued….