STARGATE ATLANTIS

PRIMIS : THE MISSING

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THE PAST

KELLER

"Will you stop staring at me, Jennifer?"

"Sorry, was I being that obvious?" I inwardly cringed. Last thing I wanted was for Teyla to feel uncomfortable.

"You were." Teyla spun around on her chair to face me. "I'm tired of everyone watching me, to be honest."

"We are just worried about you. You hardly eat and…well, you are just not the same. I..."

"Same? How can I be the same? What does anybody know about what I am going through?"

I felt awful then. "You are correct, Teyla. Please forgive me. We all miss them too."

Perhaps I didn't understand enough mind you. Teyla came closer to me and pointed towards my heart. "He is my son. I am sorry, Jennifer, but what do you know? What do you understand? How can anybody possible know what it is like to lose their son…and lover…in one day?" Teyla shuffled closer, tears now running down her cheeks uninvited. She wiped the intrusion away abruptly, clearly annoyed that it had happened.

I gulped. "I'm sorry, Teyla." I said and reached out to hold a hand that now usually rejected touch. Teyla looked at it, but didn't flinch away.

"You know, touch is what I miss."

I didn't interrupt her, knowing this was the first time she had opened up in ages. So I gave her time to continue.

Teyla looked up at me. "I can see them, you know. In my head…and in digital images here and there on my wall and desk. I can even smell them. Torren's clothes remain on his bed and I pick them up …and his scent is still there. Would you believe that? John's shirt I wear in bed so I can smell him as if he was next to me."

I smiled. Hopeful that was really the case.

"I can even hear them." She continued, clearly going through the senses. To this I cocked my head, not fully understanding.

"Team videos, when the IOA or Stargate Command wanted a survey, etc. I've been going over them – so I can hear John's voice; and I even have some of Torren on Ronon's camera."

"I'm pleased you have that, Teyla"

Sadly, I watched her eyes squeeze shut.

"But touch – that is another thing all together. I cannot touch what is not here." She said wistfully and I squeezed that hand tighter.

"Can you feel that?"

Teyla opened her eyes, and there was a yearning there.

"It is not your son holding your hand. It is not even John. But it's me, Teyla…or it could be Ronon, Amelia, Rodney, and Lorne…Woolsey even! We are all here for you."

This time a small smile appeared on her face, and suddenly I thought she looked like she had expelled a great weight off her shoulder.

"Thank you, Jennifer. I needed to talk."

"We are always here for you."

Teyla put her other hand on top of mine. "I know that to be true…it's just sometimes…"

"Then come to us when you have a moment that needs to be filled."

I was positive then that I had reached her somehow. Only, she got up from the table and walked away back to their quarters. Hers and Johns…and Torrens. I was not the only one to watch her I noticed, as every head looked up at her departure and then back to me. I smiled in reply until I could not take it any-more and hurried back to my own quarters where I flung myself down and cried myself. It all seemed so unfair, and as a doctor, I worried for their health, like I knew Carson did too. Was the Colonel okay. Was he able to look after and protect Torren after all these months still? My goodness, Teyla. What thoughts must cloud your mind constantly?

Atlantis and everybody on board it ached for their missing people. The kind of ache no doctor could fix. I just hoped they would be found soon.

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A FEW MONTHS LATER

Rodney and Zelenka rushed into the conference room like mad men.

Rodney had called them all there to meet 'immediately!' and all senior staff were waiting patiently on him to appear.

No words were spoken in the room when they started to take their seats. Lorne sat with Woolsey. Teyla took her seat in the usual spot and Ronon paced. Carson and Keller kept their hands clasped together and remained as unaffected as they could muster. They all waited to see what Rodney had uncovered. Expectations were high this time as he had been going over the tracker they had found on the dead wraith with a fine tooth comb. The electronics of it had been so intricate; so minute that it was delicate work.

Woolsey coughed and sat up straight. "Major, should you call him again?"

Just then a thundering of feet could be heard making their way along the gang plank and into the room came the two flushed faced scientists.

"It's a planet called Amitiyaz!" Rodney spat out, panting for breath. Teyla sat forward.

"Never heard of it." Ronon grumbled.

"Well, of course you haven't. We are in a different galaxy, must I keep reminding you?"

Ronon glowered but sensed this was important information so bit his tongue. Problem was, he had bitten it a good too many times when it came to Rodney lately, and his patience was running thin.

Seeming to sense this, Rodney moved something to centre of the table to distract him.

"What do you mean by Amitiyaz? Is that the tracker again?" Lorne asked quickly, slightly impatient also.

Rodney and Zelenka looked at each other and smiled. "It is." They said in unison.

Rodney tapped Zelenka on his shoulder and pointed at the tracker once again. "Zelenka brought the final piece of the jigsaw together and we were able to translate its code to some degree. It's no ordinary tracker, in that it's designed for one person, and one person only. It…it contains some sort of chemical signature, if you like." Rodney paused for a minute, eyes glued to Teyla's. "It's John's signature."

Teyla's gasp could probably have been heard back on Earth it was so loud.

"John's?" Her eyes travelling back to the tracker on the table excitedly as if he would materialise from it.

"If what little ancient we have managed to gleam from this galaxy tells us. Its John's alright. No mistaking his signature."

"Go on." Woolsey said, shifting in his seat. Could this be the prize they all hoped it would be?

"I was able to trace the last movements of the tracker. The data was there on the day we captured the wraith. Yes, there were spikes of John's signature appearing on the tracked information, but it seemed when we found him on PR4 he had not been on that planet." Rodney's words sunk all their hearts slightly.

"But!" He hurriedly continued. "Okay, John hadn't ever been on PR4 – only that wraith – but most of the data was from the original point of capture. A planet called Amitiyaz."

"That's wonderful, Rodney. Have you the co-ordinates?"

This is when things got a bit awkward for Rodney. "I peaked when I said I knew that the tracker contained Joh's signature and from where it originated." He hung his head and Zelenka came over to sit down beside him. He took up the story.

"Amitiyaz is the home world for the wraith here it seems. Some fraction of it anyway …probably." Zelenka said, straightening his glasses.

The hard, brutal words began to sink in. They had possibly found where John and Torren were being held and it seemed impossible that they could go there to rescue them without being caught themselves.

"I know what you are thinking, Woolsey." Ronon said quietly. "But I am going there."

Teyla had remained quiet throughout all the exchanges. Grasping out for words that were positive and reassuring. She looked worried that Woolsey would not permit it.

"If…and I repeat, If, a cloaked 'jumper is possible on that planet. If we can find a way in. If we can rescue them without further loss of life, then yes, of course …we go in and find our missing people."

Keller ran around the table to take the seat next to Teyla and hugged her. "This is good news, Teyla. We have waited months for a positive lead like this. You hold on to that hope of finding them okay."

Teyla nodded. "Thank you, Jennifer. Rodney. Zelenka." Her voice was almost breaking.

"It's a start, Teyla." Rodney said, and he looked so done in. Tired. Personal guilt following him about like a lost puppy.

Ronon came to Rodney and gave him an almighty bear hug, which Rodney rebuffed, embarrassed. Zelenka ran from the room before it was his turn, with the others filing out after them. Soon it was just Ronon and Teyla left in the room with Rodney.

"I'll find him there, Teyla. Mark my words."

"I have every faith in you, Rodney. It's just…it's just what state will they be in?"

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THE PAST

The shock of the cold water as it hit him in the face was like an almighty slap that goaded John into action. The dart had bounced onto the surface of the blue, shimmering lake a couple of times, before landing pointed nose down, where it started to sink fast due to the barrage of speed from its descent.

John had held fast to Torrens shoulders to try and cushion the landing, but nothing could prevent momentum and they both were jostled hard until the craft stilled and started to sink. The cold was enough to startle John and the moment the cabin was filled with water, he pulled Torren out from his feet and tucked him under his good arm. Funny how his broken knuckle screamed at him for using it at that point.

He kicked for the surface. The water's movement was strong, almost magnetic. He felt himself being pulled down but his precious cargo needed to be saved, so John fought with all his might against the force of nature and purposely worked to break its hold on him. His fingers' pinched Torren's nose shut just as the water enveloped them and he thrust upwards.

Gasping, John broke the surface, released a squirming Torren from under his arm just briefly until the small boy was facing him. Giddy with relief of being free from the dart, John laughed and wiped the boy's face free of water.

"You okay?" He asked anxiously.

Torren coughed a few times and didn't look entirely happy, but he nodded his head and then flung his small arms around John's neck.

"You'll be okay. That was rough I know, but we'll get to dry land soon. Hey…what about that? You a survivor or what?!

Torren grinned and looked up. Two smaller explosions heralded the demise of the couple of darts that hadn't faired so well on their descent.

"Ignore that." John said. He started to swim to shore. Holding Torren once again under his arm. "I won't let anything happen to you."

A small voice whispered. "I know." And John almost cried at the trust Torren had in him.

They made it to land and there were so many high and wide rocks it made it hard to get on level ground. A gap between two of these mounds finally became visible, so John swam towards it. Soon they were on their backs looking at the blue sky above their heads. Their first in months.

Rough wind, however, came with a battering of sand. Low and biting, it caused John to grunt with displeasure. He needed to get up. Move. Find Arla, Vari and Blu.

John raised his head and shielded his eyes from the glare of the hot sun and sharp sand that sparkled in his vision and crunched under his boots. The light caused him to have a headache, and looking at Torren, he faired the same way.

He looked over to the plain that he had managed to materialise his friends on and reckoned it was a good five miles away. Whether they were making their way to him or staying put could not be ascertained until he started off to find them himself.

John felt Torren squirm so placed him on the ground, holding onto his coat until his feet got purchase. It wasn't cold at all, so he just took the boy's coat off of him and sweater, but left everything else on to dry as they walked. He grimaced every so often with flashes of pain. He had been jarred quite a bit with fighting the controls and the landing. He thought that Torren had probably been well secured at his feet as he didn't seem too much affected by the crash landing. Good!

Close proximity to the exposed land; now that they were clear of the high rocks, revealed surfaces of hard sandy/stone as far as the eye could see, and all bordering the blue lake that's water held mysteries he would endeavour to find out later. Leaving the lake behind him, John and Torren walked further on the hard packed ground towards the faint tree line. Swirls of the hard sand occasionally rose up and showered them with its ware. Something that Torren protested at loudly when it happened. Leaving John no choice but to scoop him up and hold him tight against his chest to protect him from the jagging blasts.

He must have zoned out, thinking about things for a minute. Torren was trying to turn his head unsuccessfully.

"What is it, sport?" John numbly asked him, but now following his small pointing finger.

In the daze of the golden lightshow, three black shimmering figures started to waver, getting closer and closer. John was immediately cautious, but it soon became apart that the overloaded silhouettes were that indeed of his friends, carrying all their worldly possessions.

John waved and allowed Torren to run as fast as his little legs could carry him towards them. He slipped once, landing on his knees. It had to hurt. But this was too important for him to stop and cry; he had friends to reunite with.

Blu was the first one to become a recognisable shape. The young man dropped his load and picked Torren up off the ground and spun him around. Torren squeezed him back and reached his hands out to Arla, who was not far behind.

"Torren!" She shouted and accepted the small child into her arms.

"Look at the state of you!" She shrieked, obviously delighted to see him. She waved to John who was shoulder slapping Blu, and made her way over to him, taking the two of them into her warm embrace.

"Thank you, John." She whispered into his ear with all sincerity."

"My pleasure." Was all John managed; a lump in his throat.

Vari now joined them also and gripped John's forearm perhaps too tight as John jolted.

"Sorry, sorry." He gasped. "I do that to you, after you have rescued us as well."

John laughed. "It's nothing. Glad to see you all made it."

"Thanks to you." Blu said, picking up their possessions once again.

"We spied a dwelling from further up. Other side of the lake. Shall we make for there? Hope they are friendly if someone lives there?"

"Sounds a good idea." John nodded.

"I wish more had come with us now. This is amazing to be free." Arla's voice took on a dreamy quality to it.

"Hold that thought, Arla. We have no idea what this planet has to hold for us yet. Trust me, nothing is ever simple."

"All I know is, John. That you saved us from certain death; if not a life of unwillingly serving the wraith. It couldn't get worse than that."

John reluctantly let it go. But he was worried.

This planet was hot, dry, and barren; and from what he witnessed on his way down – not much land, which equals not much in the way of food and animals.

The lake size was impressive, yes – but what did it hold? Was it safe to drink?

Still, things could be worse, he supposed at that moment. John allowed a small smile. He was not on the wraiths' home world anymore…and that was one step closer to finding his way home to Atlantis, so he set a brisk walk with his friends and Torren towards the dwelling he hoped would give them some reprieve from the growing storm that was picking up and attacking them with needles.

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To be continued …