A WOMAN APART: Chapter 20 - THE TRUTH

by tarskeewee08

John sat with his head in his hands. He wanted to stop Candace several times through the story. The more he heard the sicker he became with despair. No one should have to deal with what was forced on his Vangie.

Candace looked at John and softened "Later that night when her parents were asleep she crept to the phone to call me. She told me the whole story asking that I contact my boyfriend Bryce. She wanted to tell Dennis that it was an act on her part and that she would run away with him if he still wanted her. I left my house and walked three blocks to deliver that message. Bryce took me to Dennis house and we saw the paramedics and police cars before we even turned onto the street. Dennis had killed himself.

That was the end of Evangeline as I knew her. When I called her the next day and told her she didn't cry or scream. She simply thanked me for calling and never mentioned Dennis again. It's like she turned it all off.

Back at school word got out of his suicide and since most knew of their relationship they blamed her. Her senior year was spent in solitude. No prom no nothing. She was ostracized. I tried to reach her but the Vangie I knew was gone. She didn't smile, didn't talk, she just bore down on her studies and prepared for college. Even now she doesn't visit or write. I used to keep in contact with her sister Layla but once she moved to LA I lost all contact. I think about her a lot she was a great friend to me."

John looked at Candace and smiled "Glad that she had a friend like you Candace. I wish she was able to share her pain with you"

Candace blushed "That's my home girl. I still can't get over how she broke his heart. But I know Vangie was just trying to please everyone like she always did. What I don't get is how she could stomach that mother of hers."

John nodded thinking back to the Palace and how Lisa taunted Evangeline. Everything made perfect sense to him. He looked at his watch then picked up the picture of her and Dennis "Can I hold onto this picture" he asked

Candace nodded "Please, take a look around I'm a pack rat, I don't need to hold onto anything else. Keep the picture." She said laughing.

John stood up and helped Candace rise form the couch "Thank you so much for telling me this"

Candace waved her hand "No problem. Do me a favor, take care of my girl. If you can get her pass her guilt you'll find something special in Vangie. I always saw it when we were in school. She has a way of sharing herself with people that makes you feel special. And if she asks about me tell her I miss her."

John smiled at Candace "Will do"
Candace went to the door and opened it for him.
"One thing I'm curious about, did Dennis leave a suicide note?"
Candace frowned "I think his mother had something that he left for Vangie but I don't know if she got it. Vangie wouldn't talk to me after that day."

John nodded and walked off the porch. He was going to back to Llanview to face Evangeline.

Evangeline came in the apartment and dropped her briefcase. She was exhausted. Her mom had come to the office and prattled on about family and responsibility. She had no desire to fight with her so she listened and agreed. She walked over to her bedroom taking off her suit jacket. All she wanted to do was take a hot shower.

After stepping out of her shoe, she heard the doorbell ring. Confused she walked to the door and asked who it was. Looking through the peep hole she saw it was Layla.

She opened the door and Layla walked in "What's going on?"
Layla smiled "I think I met someone" she said excitedly walking over to the couch.
Evangeline closed the door. "Layla I am really not in the mood"
Layla frowned "You are never in the mood for me."
Evangeline pulled off her other shoe and stared at her sister "Okay who is this somebody you met?"

"Officer Antonio Vega" Layla said with her hands on her hips rolling her neck.

Evangeline looked at her confused "What?"
"Why do you say it like that?" Layla asked frustrated.

Evangeline walked over to the lounge chair next to the couch and sat down. She'd never really been a sister to her. She was off in college when Layla was dating and going through teenage angst. Leaving her home alone with her parents probably made that stage in her life even more difficult. "Sorry" she said struggling to make girl talk with her.

Layla rolled her eyes "Why do I bother."
Evangeline felt guilt at the comment and tried again "Okay tell me what's going on with Antonio"
Layla smiled "He asked me out. He's taking me to Ultra violet tonight. I really don't have anything nice other than the dress I wore last night to dinner with you and mom. Can I raid your closet?"

Evangeline softened. "Help yourself…" before she could finish her statement Layla was off the couch heading to her bedroom. She laughed to herself and heard the doorbell again.

Frowning she got up and went to it confused as to who it was. She opened it surprised to see John standing there.

"Hey" he said smiling at her
"Hey" she said uncomfortably
"Is this a bad time?"
Evangeline looked back into the apartment and then at him. "Actually it is"
John stared at her "We need to talk"
She rolled her eyes "I'm really not in the mood"
John touched her face "I miss you"
Evangeline softened at his touch "I miss you too" she said weakly

John smiled and stepped closer to her. She started to back away but couldn't. He lifted her chin and kissed her softly on her lips. "Please let me in"

Evangeline stared in his blue eyes and melted. She stepped aside and let him come into the apartment. John walked in with his hands in his pocket. He stopped in the living room and faced her. Watching her close the door he thought about all that Candace said to him and he wanted to hold her and erase that heavy burden she carried. Evangeline frowned at how he stared at her. "Something wrong?" she asked.

Before John could respond Layla came out of the bedroom with three dresses in hand "Which one Vangie" she said and then stopped and looked at John.

"What are you doing here?" Layla said nastily
"Hello to you too Layla" John replied

Evangeline watched the exchange between the two of them confused "What's going on?"

Layla rolled her eyes and looked at her sister "He came back to the Palace last night and gave me the third degree about Dennis"

Evangeline looked at him confused "You did what?"
John saw the look on her face and said nothing.

"He sure did. All but accused me hiding something. Wait let me see your exact words is that I have baggage!"

John shook his head and saw the angry look on Evangeline's face. "Can we talk?"
Evangeline looked at Layla "Take all three and call me in the morning to tell me how the date went" she said opening the door for Layla to leave.

Layla glared at John again and then picked up her purse "Thanks" she said to her sister and walked out.

Evangeline slammed the door "Why in the hell would you question her about Dennis! That's none of your business John!" she said clinching her fist fighting against her anger.

John saw the anger that always appeared when Evangeline was cornered. He understood it now. It was her defense mechanism. After years of suppressing her rage at what her parents did to her she's now finding it hard to control. He walked over to the couch and sat down. "I want to talk to you."

Evangeline glared at him "Not about Dennis!"
"Why not Van?" he asked concerned
"Its personal and you have no right! It's my personal business"

John shook his head "You're wrong I love you and I have every right"

Evangeline walked into the kitchen "What is it going to take for you to understand that I don't want your love" she said grabbing a glass to get something to drink. She needed an aspirin for the headache she's had all day.

"If you don't want my love what just happened between us five minutes ago at that door. You didn't turn me away. I felt it when I kissed you"

She went through the cabinets looking for her aspirin. Where the hell was it?

"You're scared and it all comes back to Dennis" he said getting up from the couch and heading to the kitchen.

Evangeline slammed the cabinet and started opening the drawers. Why couldn't she find the pills? Her head was pounding harder.

"You are in pain because of something that happened to you long ago and I really believe that together Van, we can beat it. If only you will trust me.

Evangeline slammed the drawer and squeezed her eyes shut "Stop" she said under her breath. John walked closer to her "Please baby just calm down and talk to me." She kept shaking her head "Stop" is all she could whisper. John was standing next to her. "You can do this Van, you can face it"

Evangeline screamed "STOP!" and slammed the glass on the counter breaking it in her hand. John saw the blood immediately and grabbed her hand. He pushed the dishtowel into it to stop the bleeding. Evangeline kept shaking her head and he saw tears coming down her cheeks.

He walked to her the couch "Hold this and keep the pressure on."
He went to her bathroom and got her first aid kit. Coming into the living room he found her still with her eyes closed. "Let me see" he said taking her hand. The cut wasn't deep but it was bleeding a lot. He looked up at her "Does it hurt?"

Evangeline shook her head no but kept her eyes closed. Her hair was in her face so he couldn't really see her but he thought she was crying. These emotional breakdowns had him concerned. Maybe he was wrong to think he could walk her through her pain. Maybe it was time for a professional. Cleaning her wound and dressing it was easy. The wound on her heart was another matter altogether.

When he was done he rose and sat next to her. Pulling her to his chest she wrapped her arm around him and relaxed some. "Can I tell you how I see you?" he asked

She said nothing but he knew she heard him "I see you as compassionate, beautiful, intelligent, complicated and witty. You are for me the most charismatic woman I've ever met. Without trying you could break hearts with your smile. You make me feel stronger when you allow me to comfort you, like now"

Evangeline heard him say wonderful things about her but felt nothing. She clung to him tighter and kept her eyes closed. If he would just let Dennis go she could force it all back down and they could just be together. She didn't want to deal with the past. And if she did she was certain it would destroy her.

She wanted to stop the pain. She needed to find a way to shut it out. Lifting her head she rose from his chest. Seeing the sincere way he looked at her made her want him more. Reaching up she kissed him. He pulled her close moving her hair out of her face to kiss her back. Maneuvering her body she climbed onto his lap and started kissing his face then neck.

John felt the urgent need from her for them to make love. She was using her hand that wasn't cut to try top open his shirt and kissing him feverishly.

"Van, wait…we need to," she stuck her tongue back in his mouth and kissed him again. Pulling up her skirt to her waist she straddled him. He tried to break away from her kisses as she clung to him and kissed him more. "Van, stop" he said pushing her away. "I need to talk to you"

Evangeline looked him in his face "I don't want to talk, I want to forget. Can't you do that for me….just make it stop for a little while?"

John saw the desperation in her face and didn't know what to do. He wanted to make love to her but not like this. She wasn't with him not the way they were when they made love. She was empty. "Not this way" he said tenderly.

Evangeline shook her head and climbed off of him pulling her skirt down "You don't get it do you'

John looked at her confused "Get what?"
"That I don't want you to save me. I just want you to let me be"
John looked at her "It's more than saving you. I'm trying to find you. What you give people is fake. I want to know you. The girl from 17 who believed in love"

Evangeline frowned "The what?"
John didn't want to get into it this way. His instinct told him if he pushed that hard it could have an explosive result.

"I mean…I want to know you before you became jaded and changed"

Evangeline looked at him "John I care for you I really do. But if you think that uncovering some deep dark secret of mine will make me love you even more you're wrong."

John smiled "You said love me more"
Evangeline frowned "What?"
"You said love me more" he said leaning into her.
"Well I meant…"
"I know what you meant and I'm glad you are moving forward with actually saying it" he said kissing her forehead
She laughed and pushed him back "You're twisting things"
"Nope just listening to the woman I love express her feeling for me.
"I'm tired" she said leaning deeper into the couch
"I know, I can tell" he said reaching for her. "Can I stay the night?"

Evangeline smiled and rose from the couch. She extended her hand and he took it. She led him to the bedroom where she allowed him to comfort her and ease away some of her resistance. She was glad he believed in them and wouldn't give up. She needed that.