A WOMAN APART: Chapter 23 - FIGHTING FOR LOVE

by tarskeewee08

Evangeline stared out of the window in her office. She was exhausted. The more she tried to make the flood of emotions cursing through her veins stop the more drained she became. John was right. It was up to her to get pass these issues. But her guilt and grief were a part of her. She's had it since his death. There was no escaping it.

Dennis killed himself. The last words he heard from her were ones proclaiming their love to be a lie. What did he think when he put the barrel of that gun in his mouth. Did he hate her for what she'd done to him? Of course he did…just like she hated herself. After Candace called and told her he died she went numb. The shock and horror of what happened shut her down. She told her father what happened and she could see the regret on his face. Lisa however excused it as a senseless tragedy and forced everyone to the table for dinner.

She sat at the dinner table and her mom carried on like it was nothing. Layla glared at her through dinner and whatever bond they had disappeared. Something else replaced it. Her dad showered her with just as much affection as before. It was like it was her reward for disposing of him. She wasn't allowed to go to the funeral and his name was never mentioned in her home. Making her internalize everything more.

She loved her parents. But she couldn't process how to love and hate them at the same time. So instead she bought into the lie and lived it for her own sanity. To her the horrid things done to her and Dennis were a distant faded obscure memory.

She spent her adulthood in empty relationships. Using sex as a way to get the closeness she craved, but choosing men that would settle for less intimacy. Her relationship with RJ was satisfying. He fed her needs and accepted little in return. She liked that. She should have kept that with him. Then she could go through life protected from herself. Closed off from the horror of who she was.

But it didn't last. Like most men he eventually had hopes of knowing her heart and she knew it had to end. But what she hadn't anticipated is what one night in Mary's basement with a handsome detective would do to her. She tried to dismiss the desire for him as just sex, but from the moment he touched her something ignited and she's been unable to extinguish it since.

John investigating her didn't really hurt. Not as much as she told him it did. What hurt was his discovering the truth about her. Knowing who she really was. He sees the monster in her, he has too. How could he want a woman capable of the cruelty she was capable of?

Now she's pushed him away without telling him that he'd awakened something in her that she forgot existed. He gave her strength in his touch and courage in his faith. She wished that she could give him the woman he wanted. But Dennis and her father had a grip on her that even John's love couldn't break.

Dennis haunted her nights and days and reminded her constantly that the life she's leading is one she chose over him and her child. Her happiness is not a luxury she was entitled too since it came at the cost of his love for her. Everything about Evangeline Williamson esq. was a lie. A 'Fake' as john said. She was who her daddy had molded her to be nothing more.

A man wanting to discover her true nature would never be allowed too. That's the bargain she made with herself after Dennis died. That's the choice she made for her father.

Daddy, are you satisfied? By over achieving she accomplished each of his dreams. Some of them he was able to witness before he died.

She smiled.

She loved her father and always wanted his love in return. He showed it whenever she pleased him and held it back from her as punishment when she didn't. She knew she couldn't make it up to Dennis and her baby….but she hoped that she could make it up to her daddy for failing him. She worked tirelessly to make that happen and just when she was set to try her first case he slipped away from her. She wanted him to release her. Tell her she'd done well and set her free from the oppressive hold that only a parent can have over a child. But she never got that release and her mother kept raising the bar.

Her mother was the cause of her pain. As much as she was fearless to those that tried to control or destroy her, she had no courage when it came to Lisa. She was raised to believe and obey everything that Lisa said. As an adult she knew her mother was sick.
Yet Lisa's smothering and demanding nature was welcomed by her. It was fuel to the fire of guilt that raged inside. It kept her emotionally unavailable to everyone. Evangeline knew that what she did to Dennis….was what Lisa did to her family. Maybe she was her mother's daughter.

But Layla was different. With all of Lisa's judgment and cruelty Layla never gave up her spirit. Even thinking back to the when she was young girl, Lisa constantly taunted her younger daughter. Calling Layla to dark…or complaining that her hair was to nappy. Constantly holding Evangeline up to be the epitome of beauty….while reminding Layla of the contrasts between the two of them. She watched this and never protected Layla from Lisa tyranny. Leaving home as soon as she could and visiting less and less, Layla was forced to endure by herself. Just another thing she carried extreme guilt over.

She cringed at the thought of failing her sister.

Folding her arms Evangeline felt the coldness in her well up. She sat on her office sofa and tried to keep her tears back. Layla once admired and worshiped her but after Dennis came into their lives it became a competition. She and Dennis thought it was cute. He took extra care of Layla's crush and made her sister feel just as special as he made her feel. When Dennis died she understood why he sister blamed her. She would never forgive her for what she'd done to the boy they both loved.

Facing her demons meant dealing with her family. The family that on the surface was a all American middle class dream. A successful father with great standing in the community, a beautiful mother that doted on her children in public and actively supported promoted their Norman Rockwell lifestyle, and two children that always appeared well behaved and adjusted. What a joke it was to be a part of the Williamson clan. The truth was stranger than fiction.

Hearing a knock at her door she looked up. In walked John, Prosecutor Davis and Antonio. Evangeline frowned to see them all together. She'd called Davis to meet about Eugene but she wasn't prepared to face John. It was still too raw for her. Davis saw the confusion on her face and spoke first "Ms. Williamson I asked them to come"

Evangeline looked at John who stared at her. The tension between the two of them in that exchange made Davis frown and Antonio look away. She got up and went to her desk "Everyone have a seat and I will tell you what I know"

Antonio and Davis sat but John leaned against the door. She tried to ignore the longing look in his hypnotic blue eyes. Each time she looked in those eyes she lost her resistance. She told them of Eugene's visit and threats and she could see Johns face flush with anger. Davis and Antonio just nodded as if they already knew this info and that made her concerned.

"Evangeline there is something you should know" Davis said sitting up in his chair.
"Okay" she said hesitantly
"Eugene has been under constant surveillance for the past 13 months. The indictments we are bringing down against his brother don't include him. We had nothing concrete to link him to his crime family"

Evangeline shrugged "I already know this"
John rose from the door "What you don't know is that the Feds have an informant. Someone that's clued them in on what Eugene wants. And his latest obsession is you"

Evangeline sighed, "I know that already. I've put up with his taunts and flirtations for years"
John frowned at her "Now see I find that interesting, why would you entertain that type of ….."
Davis interrupted "The informant says that Eugene employed RJ Gannon. He thought by getting close to him he could have access to you. But you ended your relationship with RJ unexpectedly, before he could use him against you."

Now Evangeline became alarmed "RJ?" she said feeling her temper rise. "RJ is working for Eugene?"

Davis nodded "I don't think that he knew of Eugene's nefarious intentions where you are concerned. But Eugene wanted to gain his trust so he could be useful"

Evangeline avoided John's eyes again and looked across the room. Her poor judgment and insistence on surrounding herself with dangerous men could have cost her big time.

Antonio felt sorry for her and spoke up "Layla is also in trouble Van"
Evangeline looked at him shocked "What?"
Davis shot Antonio a heated glared at Antonio for telling to much to soon "Well, Eugene set Layla up to get you to dump his brother as a client. Now that you quit and working to protect your sister, he hopes to force you to come to him when he uses her for some other purposes"

"What other purposes!" Evangeline asked angrily
John came closer to her desk "The informant saw Layla arrive at a studio that Eugene owns. It's a studio that does adult entertainment"

Evangeline jumped up panicked "When? Where?"
John came over closer to her and grabbed her hand "Nothing happened. She just did a couple of photos. It's the hook they use to gain the trust of young girls. Next time it won't be as innocent."

Evangeline backed away from John "Where is she?"
"I checked and she's back at the hotel with your mother."

Evangeline shot Davis a angry look "You bastard!" she hissed, "You knew they were using Layla to get to me all along. You knew that when she was arrested. When I had to plead her out. You knew that when we offered you the Columbian contact!"

Davis shook his head "We had no proof. We had to wait and get a solid read on this situation. You were right about the drug trafficking not being related to the Barkers. We had no idea about Eugene's real motives until now."

"Liar!" she screamed.
Davis glared at Evangeline "You made a deal and I came to collect. We need yours and your sisters cooperation"

John looked at him angrily "I won't have her anywhere near that creep. I won't allow it.
Evangeline bit her lip and looked at John "That's not your call"
John looked back at her hurt "Do you understand what he wants to do. He wants to wire you and possibly Layla and have you entrap this man. That's too dangerous."

"Maybe there is another way." Antonio said, "Maybe we can just use her to get next to RJ."

John looked at him angrily "No!"
Evangeline nodded "I could do that. RJ wouldn't hurt me and I can handle him"

Davis shook his head "I want Layla involved too. She has the access now to infiltrate that porn ring. Girls as young as 15 are being used by these men"

Evangeline put her hand to her mouth "What about the informant, can't you use him instead of my sister. Can't he tell you the details of this?"

Davis shook his head "The informant is under Fredrick...he doesn't work for Eugene so he can't give us a clue. RJ Gannon is dealing with illegal sale and transport of guns so he would be useless in the workings of this porn ring."

John looked at her "I won't let you near this man. You or your sister, its too dangerous"
Evangeline saw the concern on his face and wanted to touch him. She resisted that urge and moved further away from him. "I need to talk to Layla. We'll come to the station tomorrow to discuss how we can assist."

Prosecutor Davis rose and so did Antonio. They thanked Evangeline and walked out. John didn't leave. He just stared at her. "Is this your penance? Another way to punish yourself rather than face what haunts you?"

Evangeline rolled her eyes and tried to walk around him to her desk before he stopped her grabbing her arms "I know the truth remember. I know what makes you want to be with low life scum and defend them. It's because of your own self-loathing. You chose to be a lawyer to make your family proud, but you wanted to taint your career choice by defending the likes of Eugene Barker."

Evangeline laughed, "There you go psycho analyzing me again"

"Lisa came to visit me"

She narrowed her eyes on him "What?"

"She came to tell me to stay away from you. Informing me that I wasn't good enough and that you'd agree. That she controlled you and your life because she was her mother. Is that true? Are you her puppet? Or are you your own woman?"

Evangeline snatched herself from his grip and glared at him "This isn't going to work John, your attempt to use reverse psychology on me so that I can be rid of Lisa. Better men than you have tried."

John flinched at the insult. He hid his hurt because he knew that was Evangeline's way of disarming people when she felt attacked "Okay, if you don't love yourself to want more out of life fine. What about your sister? Are you seriously going to sit back and let them use her like this? Put her in danger?"

Evangeline bit her lower lip and looked down "I don't want Layla used. But you and Antonio can protect us. Besides she signed a plea deal, she has to be involved or sent back to prison."

"If you do this we work as a team. I mean it Van, no renegade stuff on your part. Everything you do will be done with me monitoring you every step of the way."

Evangeline said nothing. She just stared at him.

John rubbed his jaw. "You look tired"
Evangeline ran her hands through her hair "I'm fine"
John touched her face "No, you're not. Can't you see that?"

She looked at him again pulled in by his love. "We said all we had to say to each other this morning"

He smiled "You know that's not true. I can't give up on us. I considered letting you work this out on your own, but after meeting with your mother I knew better"
Evangeline rolled her eyes and sighed, "I can handle Lisa"

John stepped closer to her "No, you can't. Together though we can" before she escaped him he pulled her close "I love you"

Looking into his eyes she shook her head slowly "You can't. Not after knowing what I did"

John moved some loose strands of hair from her face "I love you even more after learning of what was done to you"

Crying she put her arms around his waist "I want to get pass it. I really do. I still can't face it though"
John smiled at her "I know baby. It's hard and it's been a long time since you dealt with Dennis but together we can face it."

She allowed him to pull her into his arms and rested her head on his chest "Thank you John" she said weakly

John rubbed her hair and said nothing. Not only was he struggling on how to help her regain control of her own life without Lisa's influence….but now she was in danger and he had to protect her from it. With all the forces working to pull them apart. They always ended up like this. Their love was stronger than either of them knew at this point.