Authors note:
The until proven otherwise has happened , Wordpad was discovered (Ta-Dah!).
But seriously , jokes aside . lettuce continue (pun intended), as previously mentioned ,
all comments are welcome.
If someone brings somthing up a what-if or crackship I find interesting ,I will be tempted to use it in another writing.
As with all fics , this is a AU , all OC's intaled within are creatures of my own
making .
I own naught of GRRM's works ,period.
_ 263,Winterfell, six moons later_
It was six months since the twin's birth ,the Second Great War of the Birthing Bed more like it .
Eddard was the quiet one of the two . Simo even though quiet when compared to Brandon at six moons ,is a creeper and wriggler that keeps Old Nan on her toes, although he's behind Ned
on his words , Eddard Called me Mar-Mar, Rickard Dar-Da and even called Old nan Na-Na, Simo simply blubbered his way through Mar-Mar and that was all he could muster she thought.
As she was walking down the hallway to the great hall to the great feast in her twins honour , she remembered a discussion that was playing back and forth in head .
...
Rickard said to her "The lords in winter need celebration , what better reason than their liege lord's lady wife's successful birthing of twins." .
"We had a feast for Brandon's birth two years back why another feast, winter has another nine months at least" she said.
" We need to maintain connections with our vassals and bondsmen to ensure faithful service and as much as I agree with you my guelder-rose on this ,ties we need , they are loyal today ,on the morrow and next moon we cannot tell." he replied.
"If we are to give a feast to your lords, we must use my dowry then , it's the only source of coin that we haven't used to build up our personal demense or have lent out to our vassals to fill their wintervaults and granaries before winter hit em ,my father won't like it's wastefulness ," Lyarra reminded him.
"The fact your father's dowry offer was three chests of coins from all the free cities and a quarter of his loot saved up from his time as a sellsword,that said , the coinage's worth varies bewteen less than a groat to scoretimes more than a dragon. My father's dower was that your father and mother would live in winterfell,the second best bed and 50 of the best kegs of beer a moon for both of them until their mother has taken to selling her's to the pubs and taprooms in Winter-Town, she'll end up the richest Flint in history and with that tongue of hers at this rate she'll make 50 dragons a barrel each a moon , yearly she makes tenscore more than our Winter-Town Watch lieutenants do in that time. By the time she dies... she'll have made a rough fourth of the dowry back at this rate due to the Innkeepers feirce competition to aquire those barrels with demand increasing , within the year the 50 dragons will be 75 dragons ."
Rickard answered her.
" Why now of all times, would'nt a grand springing-of-the-year feast be better than this?"
She retorted
" Your father made an offer my father could not refuse , as well rejoining the two branches of our house into one ,Rodrik out offered the Manderly,Mormont,Karstark and Bolton, A feat I am thankful for since your'e the only woman i've ever wanted...It is also my property by virtue of wedlock." He finished,
And that was that.
...
Damn Rickard for that last thing about me being the only woman he wanted, we only needed use of one sixth of one chest for all the costs. Instead he went overboard and used half of the first chest Lyarra thought to herself .
, she could smell the many the dishes that were had made a list beforehand and gave it to the cook . she rememberd the cook and his wife' s faces go whiter and whiter when they read the list and smiled a great grin as she remembered it.
Leg of bear , pies , meat, sweet and beavertail , (the cook has undoubtably has made atleast one squirrel pie and claimed it rabbit ,) bannock, white bread , figgy duff ,vension , rillsmen pudding , various stews,wintergreens,reindeer, crubeens , fried goat cheese , whiskey , stormlander brandy,spruce beer ,wine ,mead , birch beer, normal beer,spitcakes ,spotted dick , bloodsplatter's, haggis and what ever else you deem proper .
She got to her seat just in time for her husband's adress to the Lords,
"My Lords , I welcome you to my halls and hearth to help me celebrate the succesful birthing of two new wolf cubs for my pack !" her husband announced , the lords cheered , as they were cheering she noted that some houses were not in attendance. Bolton , Wull ,Whitehill,Mollen,Holt ,First Flint, Harclay,Wells ,Waterman, all of the crannogmen except Reed and Peat and the skags never attended any feast or grand melees so they're not important at all she thought
As Rickard finished his announcement ,GreatJon Umber Shouted "Feck ya ,bout time , I see you had it twix this go" at that , the lords laughed and even Rickard himself had a chuckle .
" Umber...for once I'll igore that crude remark" Rickard returned, the lords and ladies laughed again ,
this off and on again friendly flyting match between her husband and The Umber had ,as far she's known of it has been going on since ... I'm starting to believe , they don't even know when it started, last time it was Rick's turn , this times the Umber's go she thought to herself .
Rickard and Jon were a odd pair of companions ,when Jon said " Fuck em, southeners alle! " ,Rickard was for Integration with rest of the Seven Kingdoms.
Men are an enigma , when two men have a flyting , they either become best friends and just laugh it off ...laugh it off, barely see eachother in a years time and they bloody name their children after eachother or become eternal enemies .
As the insults between her husband and lord Umber ended , it was at moments like these she wished Branda married her husband instead of her. Branda would of been a natural up here ,damn her burst of wolfsblood , why Branda? Did you have to seduce Lord Templeton's heir Yarrick, you were drooling at his shoulders and hips, damn your hide, he was mine , father signed the agreement and every thing. I even had the cloak embroidered beforehand she thought.
At that moment she realized who was sitting next to her .
"Lady Stark ,you look unwell", it was Maege Mormont. "You look like the sevener who had bloodsplatter and salt cabage for the first time" she chuckled . Maege Mormont ,The Bear that got away,how in the namelessness of the gods ,did you getaway and from what?.
the hand of half the North's Noble Suitors ,you have a dottir two moons my twins elder and you're still unwed.
" A little weary from the preperations" Lyarra answered " In sooth marridge does weather you well ,I must congratulate you on your wedding ,is your husband here?" she continued,Maege's face went from calm to enraged and back was itimidating, lady Mormont took a quick swig of mead, more like she chugged her drink horn and ordered a refill and another drink horn with a tankard of beer on the side .
Maege
The gall this woman has Maege thought to herself , she did'nt say it aloud for offending the lady of Winterfell is just as bad as offending Lord Stark , " Good lass ! Fill it up , a second horn and a beer tankard" Maege barked.
This is going to be one of those feasts .
Maege plastered a grimace on her face and replied" you sound suprised that I am married Lady Stark."
" No I'm just suprised your husband isn't here Lady? ... Who exactly did you marry?" Lady Stark said.
I better to not say my husband's name or house at the moment , the North not knowing my husband's house and my new name is a good thing for me,my daughter and Bear Isle.
Besides, Jorah would go madder than a Umber on Madcap Mushrooms if he knew who my husband is.she thought.
" A Bear" She said " We Mormont women bed and wed who we please . " ,she continued
" Then how was your bear, was he good?" Lady Stark asked, looking like she did'nt beleive a word,"Quite " Maege is she asking this , I doubt she asked her mother about her father's qualities in bed Maege thought .
" Beg pardon my lady , but I must have a breath of air"Maege said,I need to get out before I punch her. I won't break the vow I gave my Ink-hair she thought.
" Yes well ,enjoy the feast Lady?" lady Stark paused, "Mormont" Maege muttered loud enough for the Stark to hear.,
As she walked out of the feast hall, she heard the bards start to sing The-Bear-and-The-Maiden-Fair.
She walked out to the drill yard to smack a training dummy or two ,maybe a would be suitor aswell.I can only hope she thought.
when she got to the drill yard , she looked around for sparring partners, there were none .
More's the pity.
she got to drill rack and picked up a club , walked up to the closest dummy and took a good swing at it.
She heard Jeor's voice behind her "Maege, I thought I'd find you at the feast snarking your tongue off like an ass, not beating a domkoff beyond what it already is."
"Just woud rather not break guest-right dear wall buggering , wife deserting ,coward brother o'mine" she replied as she turned around .Jeor winced at the bits about sodomizing the Wall and deserting Wolfhild . Good let him cringe , it'll keep his face from freezing up.
" Are ye going to give a sprache on glories of the Night's Watch?" she asked, she knew he would, he made Lord Commander due to drive, skill and the fact he left Jorah and Freda who died two years after , to wait for his wife, The lady Wolfhild Mormont's death from brain-rot.
"Yes ,I always do when I'm invited " Jeor said , stressing the I'm.
"and who did you marry?, you've a Gold band on your right arm , a Torc round yer neck and a ring on each hand .Was it Yohan Woodfoot , Douglas Amber or Douglas Morgenthorg, no...maybe a greenlander ? You're not wearing Bolton, Umber or any of the Clan's Colours ?
You know aswell as I that our women don't don finery unless married" Jeor continued.
This evening gets better and better,first Lady Stark , now Jeor's asking , what is with everyone asking me who my husband is? Maybe I should"ve of just sailed off with him as he first insisted.
"You'll find out, in due time , brother , you also know the law of secrecy? " Maege asked .
" Yes of course , but who is it ?" Jeor asked ," a crofter ? wilding? clansmen? andal?ironmen?
I , as your brother have a right to know" . Interesting he does'nt mind the concept of a lowborn fisherman ,wildling or hedgeknight , but a reiver captain he complains about ,if I wedded a bawd he would'nt blink an eye.
"I'm not breaking my vow , you know very well I can't tell til he does"
Maege replied .
He's got to daft if he thinks I'm going to tell.
My thanks to those who read,
for those who want to know, Tormund isn't the father. I have two competing ideas
concerning who it is, so it isn't open and shut . but it's getting close.
When I reveal the house Maege secretly married into it'll be a "what the?" moment
for the characters. The law of secrecy I made up .