This is the actual second chapter, which again is cut up more than originally planned because it doesn't look like thousands of words on a 5-inch screen. This chapter will be in Bella's point of view but will (in a separate chapter) be retold from Carlisle's point of view. I cut this chapter off at eleven pages, so be warned.

Homecoming Part 2

"And you said you'd make a promise

But a promise never stays

So how am I supposed to act

When that's just how it is nowadays?"

"So what's the plan for the day?"

I smile up at him, glad he has changed enough to value my opinion fairly. "I need to shower, and get something to eat. Other than that, I'm open to whatever, I can't sleep anymore."

"We could go home. Carlisle and Esme wanted to see you."

And the panic is back. "W-why?" I felt nervous, not knowing what I would say to them.

"It's nothing bad, Love. They just missed you."

I feel my brows furrow. "Why would they miss me?"

"They think of you as their daughter."

". . . They do?" I don't believe it. I won't allow myself to believe his words. The thought of seeing these two people who had always felt like a safe haven to me felt incredible and I desperately wanted it to happen. . . But why would they want to see me?

"Do you not remember the conversation you had with them earlier today?"

"I thought that was a dream."

He rolls his eyes. "Not this again."

I let out a breath in irritation. "Look at it from my perspective, Edward. A lot of strange things have happened this last week, things that shouldn't even be possible. I should be allowed to question a few things without being mocked."

He looked abashed. "You're right, my apologies."

"I'm sure your parents have better things to do with their time than watch over your clumsy human girlfriend."

"You would be wrong, there's nothing they want to do more. They love you, Bella. I don't know what I can do to make you believe that."

His words don't make sense and I don't want to let myself believe them. "But they left. . . Without saying goodbye. I just- over the summer I started- I thought we were close like the parents and family I always wanted. . . But they didn't even bother to say goodbye." I mumble. I pick at my thumbnail, unable to look into his eyes.

Forgiveness was never the problem, it was the lack of trust that remained. I know I'll forgive them, if I haven't already. . . But will I ever be able to trust that they won't leave me again? It was so easy for them to pack up and leave in the middle of the night, and as a human, I would have no way to find them if they didn't want me to.

"That's my fault, and I'll spend the rest of my existence apologizing to you for my mistake. I thought you- I thought it would be better if you had a clean break." His words sound pained and I don't have it in me to comfort him.

I was angry. Angry at all of the Cullens. Had he talked about it with the others? Was their departure planned out, or was it a rash decision and they really didn't have the time to say goodbye to me? "I deserved at least a goodbye no matter what your intentions were." It was true. I did deserve at least that.

But the main question remained: Why did the others just do what Edward wanted? He had told me this was his worst mistake, so did the others not know how badly his leaving would affect either of us?

I thought about Esme and Carlisle and how much I missed them. They really had felt like my parents. At the time they had taken me in, I believed almost like their own daughter. I had learned how caring and motherly Esme was and how much love Carlisle put into his family. They seemed like the pair of parents who would do anything for their family.

Then why did they leave? Even if they thought that would have been a good idea. . . they still left me behind, their so-called new daughter. No explanation, no goodbye. Was it that they didn't actually see me as part of their family and so they didn't have that hard of a time leaving me behind?

"So everyone just listened to you? Went along with your plan without a fight?"

"There was a fight," he admitted, the crease in his forehead deep with grief. "Lots of them actually. Days of arguing until I convinced them that leaving was in your best interest. There was so much danger in your life that we were the cause of. I'll never get over what I put you through, what I put all of us through." His thumbs wipe the tears from my cheeks that I didn't realize were falling. "They all want to apologize as well."

". . . So they really want to see me?"

"They do. Carlisle and Esme are worried about you. They want to talk to you."

I could tell there was something he wasn't saying and my stomach dropped with the familiar fear. "What? No more secrets, just tell me please."

He pauses. "Did I ever tell you Esme's story?" He asked.

My brows furrowed, he would easily be able to remember if we've had this conversation, I answer him anyway. "Not really, just that Carlisle changed her after he changed you. That and how you'd first pretended to be her brother instead of her son."

He nods, clearly still conflicted. "The reason Carlisle changed her. . . He was called to the morgue of the hospital he was working at. She tried to kill herself. . . By jumping off a cliff." He admitted.

"Oh." I sit back as I take in what he said. "Oh." Realization hits me and I look up at him with wide eyes. They think I was trying to kill myself.

"We hurt you, me most of all. Carlisle believes you need to talk about it, we all do. He thinks it will be good for you."

"He also thought-" I flinched, stopping the harsh words in my mind before they could escape.

Edward laughed mirthlessly. "He also thought it was okay for us to leave you." He finished for me, kissing me once more. "You don't have to pretend you aren't angry. It's okay. . . You have every right to be, with all of us."

He pulls me up, placing my feet on the floor and not letting go of my hips until he knew I wouldn't fall.

"Go shower, I'll make you something to eat." He leans down to kiss my lips before turning me in the direction of the bathroom, slapping my ass.

"Ouch." His distraction tactics worked. I rub my backside with an exaggerated pout. It didn't really hurt. I think I'm more shocked by this playful side of him.

I grab my toiletries from where I left them on my desk last night and head for a much-needed shower.

I stay in the shower longer than I had planned, until the hot water runs out. I've literally traveled around the world since the last time I showered, a thought that wasn't all that pleasant.

I picked out something comforting to wear, a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized sweater I hoped would hide some of the weight I had lost in their absence. I could do without an exam from Carlisle today if he was worried about my health.

Edward had a plate of pancakes for me at the table when I came down, far too big a serving for one. I looked at him in disbelief.

Before I could sit down I was drawn into his arms, his face nuzzled in my hair as he breathed. "You smell wonderful." He chuckled at my face.

"Thank you?" I asked and he grinned.

He sat down across from me and I fought the urge to offer him something to eat or drink as I started eating my own breakfast.

The shadows beneath his eyes were still too dark, too pronounced in his beautiful face, though I know I didn't look any better. "You're going to have to hunt," I pointed out reluctantly, knowing that would mean our separation. "You can't keep ignoring it forever."

He shrugged, his crooked smile on his lips. "Disregarding it has worked out fine so far."

I frowned. "That's very irresponsible, you know. We can't have the neighbors disappearing. Charlie's a cop, in case you forgot."

Edward smiled her favorite smile. "And shockingly unobservant about having a vampire under his roof."

I cut a small piece of pancake and moved it around my plate.

"What are you thinking?" He asks after studying my face.

"I don't want to tell you."

He sighed softly, I know he wanted to insist but he refrained.

I appreciated his effort. "I'm just worried."

"About?" He prompts, his hand reaching across the table to grasp mine.

". . . Are they mad at me?"

"Who?"

I sigh. "Your family."

"Why would they be upset with you?"

"Because of my actions. I'm the start of the cataclysmic turn of events that almost killed two of their children."

"Three children, actually. But regardless, that wasn't your fault and no one blames you." He insists.

I know that before I met the Cullens I'd never even considered making myself so vulnerable. . . so dependent on anyone else. I never let myself open up to the pain that has overcome me since they left, even now I still feel raw.

I felt stronger than I had in a long time, and although I knew I couldn't let myself completely depend on them, it was nice to feel as though they were on my side if Edward's words were anything to go by.

"You could say you miss all that we had,

but I don't really care how bad it hurts

when you broke me first."

"They're looking forward to seeing you. They all are. None of them approved of my decision. They didn't want to hurt you or see what I'd be like without you. I was bad enough in the last days, trying to make up my mind."

"Can I ask you something first?" I say the words before my brain can stop me.

"Anything." He replied.

I chew on my lip while I look down at my hands in my lap. I lost the nerve to ask the question I wanted, but I know I need to ask it, lest it leads to more problems later.

"Bella-" he prompted.

I take a breath. "Um, I didn't think of this at, at the airport. . . I, uh, know it's been a while and. . . And I don't want to be rude or offensive. . ." I ramble, still not reaching the point.

His hand traces the line of my jaw as one hand holds the wheel. "Ah, if only I could read your mind."

"I'm glad you can't." I force a smile at our ribbing, though my words couldn't be more sincere. "Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it-" I decide, but fail to continue.

"You're worrying me. Is it that bad?" He asks.

I let out a deep breath. "Should I call your parents Dr. and Mrs. Cullen? It's been so long and I don't want to be rude or offensive or anything like that. I know you started calling my Dad Chief Swan again." My neck and face are burning with a dark blush.

"Two questions, two answers. You can call Carlisle and Esme by their first names, it hasn't been too long and nothing's changed there." He answers. "I call your Father Chief Swan because when I dropped you off after the airport he corrected me after I called him Charlie. . . And his thoughts may have been leaning towards a vaguely homicidal path if I made that mistake again."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

He smiles and I can't help but return it as he holds my hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss. "It's fine, Baby. I deserve far worse, it's really the least I can do for him."

I felt slightly more at ease but I could feel my heart rate steadily increasing the further we got out of town. All too soon their house came into view.

"Bella!"

The second I set a foot outside Edward's Volvo in the Cullen's garage Emmett had me in a bear hug. He spins me around, my feet never touching the ground.

"Hi, Emmett." I squeak.

"How's my favorite little sister?"

"She's your only little sister, dumbass." Jasper yelled from the living room.

"I have missed you terribly, Bella Swan. Edward is even more of an ass when you're not here, which you might not think is possible, but you'd be wrong."

"Emmett." Esme scolds him.

"Bella's 18, Mom. She's heard worse words than 'ass.' She even called Edward an ass." Emmett finally put me down.

I had to hold onto him since the spinning was making it very hard to stay vertical.

"My turn." Esme wraps me in her arms and I almost start to cry. She pulls back and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. "I have missed you so much, my Sweet Girl."

"I missed you, too." I say shyly, a blush warming my face. "Oh," I remember, "your jacket, the one you lent me the other night. I forgot it at home but Edward will bring it back," I promise, turning to Edward. "Right?"

He nods but Esme cuts him off. "Oh Sweetie, don't bother. You can keep it, you'll get more use out of it than I will, I'm sure."

"Mom, maybe try to slowly drip your wonderful overprotective motherly nature onto her. Don't submerge her all at once or you'll end up scaring her away." Edward teased, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

I bat him away, hugging Esme again. "I really missed you, Esme. Don't listen to him."

She kisses my forehead, her arm around my shoulder as she leads me inside.

My eyes meet Esme's again. "Um, Edward s-said you, um, you wanted to see me?" My face is burning with a blush as I speak. I still don't understand why Carlisle and Esme would want to talk to me. . . Unless- no- unless they want me to leave or- or berate me for putting their family in danger like I expected they would at the airport. They want to make sure I won't kill myself when they leave.

I can do this. I can hear them out, then say- I can say goodbye. I'll thank them for the ride the other night and everything else they've done for me. I'll be strong. . . or at least I'll try to appear strong. They shouldn't feel guilty, not when all their pain was because of me.

Edward loves me. . . Or so he said. But I would never let him choose between me and his family. I- I'll lose all of them again. . . And I know without a doubt that I won't survive this second departure, not that I'd want to. Once I let my mask and armor drop. . . I can't physically or mentally face that pain again.

I know enough to not make any concrete plans, lest Alice see them and guilt everyone into staying. . . Or worse, check me into the psych ward before leaving again.

"Bella?" I heard Esme call my name, her cold hand cupping the side of my face.

My eyes focused back on her. "Sorry, w-what was- I didn't hear you." I could barely string a coherent sentence together.

"Are you okay, Sweetheart?"

I nod. "Sorry." I was lost in thought and berated myself for being rude. That sure didn't endear anyone to you, Bella.

She smiles kindly. "You have nothing to apologize for, my Sweet Girl. Come sit with me and Carlisle for a little."

"Um, okay." I look back at Edward while I let Esme lead me to the living room, her hand around mine. "Edward?" I don't want to be away from him, I can feel the pain in my chest returning at the thought of any separation between us.

"I need to hunt. I'll be back in one hour, tops. I promise." He assures me, kissing my lips softly. "You'll be safe and I'll be back before you know it. I have my phone, okay?"

I nod, trying to appear strong even though I feel anything but. I look at his black eyes with dark purple bruises underneath them and I know I'm causing him pain. I have to let him go, and trust that he'll come back.

I feel awkward the further I move into the Cullen's house. I no longer felt like I belonged, quite the opposite actually.

I sit on the couch, on the edge with my back straight. My ankles crossed as I played with a loose string on my jeans.

"Where's everyone else?" I turn back to Carlisle and Esme, forcing myself to not watch him leave.

"They're hunting, I believe. We asked them to give us a little privacy so we could talk to you." Carlisle replied. He sits down in front of me on the edge of the coffee table, his hand on my knee. Esme sits to my left with an arm wrapped around me.

I take in a shaky breath. "W-What did you want to talk about?" My voice is quiet but I know they can hear me fine. I continue to play with the frayed hole in my jeans, not making eye contact.

"Relax, Sweetheart, take a few sips." Carlisle handed me an open bottle of water that I gratefully drank.

I finished about half before I set it down. If I hadn't set it down then I know my nails would have been nervously picking off the label. "T-thank you." I tell him, my nerves returning stronger than before.

"There is nothing to be afraid of, Bella. We need to talk. I'm sure you have a few things you want to get off your chest and we are both listening to you. You can speak your mind, Honey."

I tried to smile at Carlisle's kindness but it turned into more of a grimace.

"Can I ask you something, more of a follow-up from our last conversation?" He asked. When I nodded he continued. "I know this confrontation with the Volturi hasn't left you feeling as if you have much say in your future. . . What do you want, Bella?"

As if I have ever had much say in my future. My eyebrows furrow as I look at Carlisle. That was the first time anyone asked my opinion while actually wanting an answer. "I want to be a vampire." I look down at my lap as I speak, my cheeks turning red with my blush.

"Even if there was no threat from the Volturi?"

I nod. "There's always a threat of some kind," to put it lightly, "but if there wasn't my answer wouldn't change."

"Why?" He put a finger under my chin, pulling my face up so he could see my eyes.

"I- I don't want to lose you, any of you." I tell them truthfully. "I love Edward with every part of me and, and when he left he took my happiness with him. I-I don't want to die, which will be inevitable. Edward says he'll follow after me but I can't- no, I don't want to break up your family and I don't want to hurt any of you, more than I already have. I love him and my human life isn't enough."

"You are and will always be a part of our family, Bella. You haven't hurt any of us, we're the ones that hurt you." Esme promises.

I nod but I don't think I believe them. "I've never had a real family, not really. It was always just me and Renee, or me and Charlie."

"Even if you decide you don't want to be changed, you will always have a place here. You're just as important to us as Edward, Alice, or anyone in this family."

"So are you not going to change me?" I wipe my eyes as the familiar ache in my chest comes back.

Carlisle squeezed my hands. "I gave you my word, Bella. After Graduation, your high school graduation. I always keep my word."

I want to believe him, to let myself hope. . . But the lingering fear hasn't left, and I don't think it will until I'm like them, a vampire.

"Tell me how you feel. How have you been, Bella?" Carlisle questions softly, his voice sincere.

I don't know what response he's looking for. "M'fine." I mumble with a shrug. I don't need to burden them with my internal debate or the hole in my chest.

While they were gone, when I was alone and allowed myself to think of them, there were so many things I wanted to say. . . But none of them seem to fit here, now.

He sighs, squeezing my hand in a comforting manner. "Esme and I are worried about you."

"I'm okay, Carlisle, really." I insist weakly.

"Whatever is said we won't be mad or upset with you, we love you." Esme tried to assure me. "We also won't break your confidence, everything said here stays here."

"Tell us what's on your mind. This has been a hard time for you these last few days. . . and months. Do you have anything you want to ask us? Anything you want to get off your chest?" Carlisle urged, squeezing my hands softly.

Esme rubs up and down my arm as I chew on my lip.

I take a shaky breath and decide I should just bite the bullet. Rip off the bandaid. There's no use continuing this conversation if their answer is what I fear it is. "W-w-when are you l-leaving," it's hard to force the words out, "again?" I can't look at either of them.

"We aren't leaving." Esme insisted. "I promise."

"So. . . So you want me to leave?" My brows furrow. Where would I go?

"Of course not." Carlisle puts a finger under my chin to lift it so I have no choice but to look at his face. His dark golden eyes, so much like the eyes of the man I love, meet mine. "I know it's hard to believe after how we acted, but we love you dearly, Bella. We hurt you, and there is no way we can ever erase what we put you through, but we are so sorry we hurt you. We won't make the same mistake we made before, we won't leave you. Never again."

"Why- why should I believe you, now?" I wanted to believe them so badly it was almost tactical.

Esme pulled me into her side, placing a kiss on my temple. "We love you more than you can fathom, my Sweet Girl. We won't ever leave you, nor will we ever make you leave."

I looked up at them, feeling strangely like a child in need of comfort. I'd never looked to anyone to comfort me like this, to absolve me of guilt or pain. "If- if you loved- love me then why did you leave me? You didn't even say goodbye." I hate how broken and weak my voice sounds.

Carlisle looked pained, like he forced himself to meet my eyes. "Edward was very. . . adamant. I knew him well enough to know that he couldn't be apart from you for long, a love like yours, like ours, doesn't fade. . . But at the end of the day, Edward is an adult, and if he wanted to leave, I couldn't force him to stay. He was entitled to make his own decisions and mistakes even if the family and I didn't support or believe them. . . He wanted to protect you from our world, which is something I understand. I did the same with Esme." He says, his brows furrowed as if he's deep in thought.

"With Esme? What do you mean?" I look between them, confusion clouding my features.

He sighs, squeezing my hand in his. "I met Esme when she was 16. I was her doctor, covering for another doctor in a small town in Ohio. She had fallen from a tree and broke her leg, I set it for her. . . I didn't want to subject her to this existence as I had been. She had a full human life ahead of her and she deserved a chance at that. I couldn't take that away from her. . . So I left. I thought about her every day, every second we were apart. I had fallen in love with her mere minutes after meeting her."

"But you came back, right?" I ask.

"I found her again in a small hospital in Ashland, Wisconsin almost a decade later. I was called to pronounce her dead but she wasn't, not yet. I heard her faint heartbeat and knew I had to try. This life, while not my first choice for her, was preferable to her human life which was cut short. So I changed her."

I didn't realize how similar Edward's parents' love story was to our own. "Why didn't you say goodbye? Why did Edward leave me alone in the woods after telling me that none of you wanted me or anything to do with me?" There are unshed tears in my eyes and my voice cracks. "That- that I was just a distraction for every-"

"Abandoning you in the woods was not part of the conversation I had with Edward prior to our departure. I have no excuse that would make that okay, not just for Edward but for the rest of us as well."

"You left me alone," I mumble the words I've never before said aloud. "It wasn't like when you left Esme. We hadn't just met that day. I- I thought we were supposed to be a family. You all left me alone."

I have never vocalized my fears before. I never put words to my nightmares that plagued me since they left, even when I wasn't asleep.

When I speak there is no inflection. "You just left. I-I didn't have anyone else." I look up at Carlisle and Esme, two people I once thought would be my family, the parents Renee and Charlie never were. "I- I couldn't tell Charlie about my nightmares or, or the fact that there- that Victoria would kill me. . . And soon, she was so close," I pause as a shudder rips through me as I tightly wrap my arms around my middle. "If I did tell anyone no one would believe me. Charlie would probably have me committed. I swore to keep your secret, no one would believe me, anyway. If I went to a counselor to talk, would Victoria be able to get my records as easily as she had from school?" I never let myself think too hard about this, I couldn't handle it all at once. I can barely handle it now. "T-there was nothing I could do. . . J-Jacob and his pack, they're human. Even if they can turn into werewolves, their hearts still beat and they have to sleep. How many teenagers would die trying to protect me? How many Mothers would wake up to find their son missing because they were killed by the vampires I attracted? M-most of them hate me yet they are endangering themselves every day. . . I didn't know how I could do anything to, to save myself or Charlie or the pack." I wiped furiously at the tears in my eyes. "When you left I couldn't just go back like nothing happened, no matter what Edward said. Me running from James, lying to my Dad and leaving in the middle of the night. . . that was the turning point. That moment took me out of this consequential human world into something so much bigger, and suddenly I had to face it all alone. . . I didn't know what to do." I harshly wipe at the tears falling from my eyes.

Carlisle rubbed small circles on my back while I leaned into Esme's embrace as I tried to tell them everything on my mind. I needed to get it out. . . and I finally had someone who would listen, two someones.

"Vampires, I-I know how strong they are. James, he crushed my leg with a flick of his wrist, what could they do to werewolves who they saw as a threat? I couldn't imagine anything could hurt Laurent with you gone. . . So I was scared that, that I'd lose Jake and his pack forever, too." I tell them. "At least if Victoria or Laurent killed me when I was alone- at least everyone would be safe, better off. . ." I curl up into myself, wishing I could stop the open floodgate of pain. "There was no one to save me at the last minute like the vampire that changed Alice did to save her from James." My voice was almost hysterical at this point. "I couldn't imagine Alice not seeing what was happening," I admit quietly, my voice weak. "I thought you all hated me, that you didn't care if I lived or died. No one understood why I was acting like my world ended but it did." In the overbearing moment of silence after my voice faded I instantly begin to feel guilty for unloading all this on them. He probably only wanted a basic answer and here I made them listen to my crap. No wonder they left, I was just an annoying distraction.

I was opening my mouth to apologize when Carlisle shook his head sadly. "Never apologize for telling us what you think".

". . . So you don't hate me?"

"Bella, Sweetie, Esme, and I could never hate you!" he stated emphatically. "You are our little girl Bella, and we will always love you no matter what. You're not our biological daughter but neither are Alice or Rosalie, or the boys. Whether I changed them myself or not, the same goes for you." He ran a thumb across my cheek, wiping away a stray tear. "We see you as a daughter, Bella, whether or not you decide to join our family as one of us or not."

"Where would you get such a ridiculous idea? That we could possibly hate you." She asked perplexedly.

I shrug, unable to meet either of their eyes. "What Edward said- how he made it seem-" I don't know what to say. "I-" I trail off. All of their reactions were as if they hated me, well except Alice (who came back), but even she left without saying goodbye. She didn't look into my future to see how I would handle their sudden departure. How could I move on when everything I knew was ripped out of my hands like it never existed? Like all of them never existed.

I didn't realize I was crying until Carlisle pulled me into his lap and wiped my tears.

"Bella, you deserve far more than a simple apology." He starts. "I'm sorry," he said. "I am so very sorry for. . . everything. It wasn't right, what we did, what I did, leaving you alone like that. I will never forgive myself for the suffering we put you through," he continued. "It wasn't fair for us to put all of that on your shoulders."

"No, it wasn't." I agree weakly, there's no point in sugarcoating it.

"I know you will probably hate me for a long time and I understand that. . ."

"I don't hate you, Carlisle. I hurt, I thought I might for a while, it was really hard, but I don't." I told him. "I don't think I'm able to hate you." Carlisle, and Esme as well, were too good, too nice to hate.

"You should hate me. I betrayed you, Bella. I should have fought harder, but I was just so focused on Edward at that moment. I'm sorry. I know saying sorry doesn't fix anything but I want you to know, without a doubt that you are a member of my family, this family. You are my daughter, which means I will never abandon you." He looked at me so tenderly that I had to occupy my eyes with something else.

"But you did." I countered, the hurt and pain I had felt at their abandonment of me shining clearly in my voice and eyes. It all boils down to this, because as much as I wanted to trust that they would never leave me, they had, and the wound was still fresh.

I saw the flash of pain in Carlisle's eyes before he closed them. When he opened them I could clearly see guilt and sorrow. "Bella, Sweetheart, I cannot express how deeply I regret what happened. It was a mistake, a horrible mistake, but I felt at the time that we were doing what was best for you."

"What was best for me? How could you think that?" There's no emotion in my voice.

"I have no worthy explanation. I know leaving you, Bella, was, is my biggest regret. I've lived close to three hundred years, Baby Girl, so believe me when I say that I have had many mistakes and have countless moments I wish I could take back, but hurting you like we did is at the top of my list." He looks deeply into my eyes and I can't help but believe him.

"Why didn't you say goodbye?" I look between both of them. "Why didn't you leave me with some way to contact you in case Victoria or someone else came back?"

"We wanted to give you some closure, and I even suggested that we at least keep in touch with you for a while." He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Edward refused to back down though. He was adamant that we give you a clean break."

Esme rubbed my back softly, her voice pained. "He assured us that he would explain everything to you and that you would understand."

Carlisle sighs. "We trusted he would make you understand why. . . And against my better judgment, I finally conceded."

"He didn't explain anything," I replied, the underlying confusion and sadness clear in my tone.

"I know," Carlisle said, the pain in his voice was evident, and I wasn't expecting to find tears in his eyes. "After Italy, Edward told us what he said to you, and I am so sorry Bella. We both are. If I had known what he was going to do to you, I would never have agreed," he apologized before bowing his head.

I trusted what he said, I have always trusted Carlisle. "I know."

"I'm sorry."

"You have to stop apologizing."

"I will never stop apologizing to you for what I did." He looked at me so tenderly that I had to occupy my eyes with something else. The carpet beneath my feet suddenly seemed interesting.

I feel my eyes fill with tears against my will. I rub my eyes roughly with the heels of my hands and let out an apology for not being able to better control my emotions.

"Listen to me when I say you do not have to apologize or feel embarrassed ever for crying or needing comfort. Do you understand, Sweetheart?" Carlisle asked in a more gentle voice as he brought my face up so he could see my eyes.

His words were kind but I didn't think I could believe him. "Yes, Sir." I responded, immediately looking down at my lap again. I've always had a good handle on the emotions I let people see, I've never been like this before.

"We are here for you, if you need anything or just want to talk. Anything you need." Esme's soft voice was calming.

I took her words to heart, I've never had a parent to turn to like Carlisle and Esme.

"Bella, I know this subject is difficult but we'd like to talk to you about what happened in Italy?" Carlisle broached the topic like he was approaching a wounded animal.

My wide eyes meet his as I try my best to carefully walk around the subject I didn't even want to think about. ". . . What do you want to know?"

"Why don't you start at the beginning?"

"This. . . this me telling you won't help anyone. Talking about it will only make it worse." I warn them.

Esme pushes a lock of hair behind my ear. "We both think it is important for you to talk about what happened. We can't move past it until we address it."

I look into Esme's worried eyes and know I can't avoid this forever. Vampires were nothing if not persistent. ". . . I wasn't trying to kill myself." I say and can see they don't entirely believe me. "Edward told me. . . about when you-" She knows what I'm referring to. "But I wasn't, I swear. I know it looked like that but I don't think the cliff was high enough. That's beside the point. I saw the guys on La Push cliff diving. I thought it looked. . . fun so Jake promised he'd take me." I'll just pass over the part about me hallucinating their son. "Jake canceled at the last minute. . . I didn't know Victoria was there." I try to ignore Esme's soft gasp. "I jumped and Alice saw me, she didn't see Jake save me. . . I didn't realize a storm was coming in until I was already in the water." They knew what happened from there.

"And in Italy?" He prompts.

I grimace. "What have Edward and Alice told you?" Maybe I can get away with just giving them a few more details.

"Not much. They are both avoiding the topic and severely editing what we are told." Carlisle replies.

Great, I'll have to remember to thank them later. "Well, uh, Edward was, um, he was going to expose himself but I- I caught him in time. A few of the guards found us and Alice and said Aro wanted to speak with us. He, uh, tried to read my mind but h-he couldn't, Jane couldn't hurt me either." If you don't count Edward's pain and what that did to me. "Edward said later that, that Aro suspected I could be a shield. . . They wanted me to be changed or, um, killed so Alice told them that she had already seen it, seen me as a vampire. They wanted us to join the guard and we declined. . . then Alice and Edward rushed us out into the hallway but- but not before-" my voice breaks.

"Shhhhh," Esme tries to soothe me but the memory is playing on loop in my head.

"All those people." I stop, I can't say anymore.

Esme had me in her lap, her arms around me and Carlisle's around both of us.

"We heard them, heard everything. They wouldn't let us leave until the sun went down." The children, the old lady with the rosary, all gone. Edward tried to distract me but the thin wall couldn't block the sound of the screams. I know that sound will haunt me just like the vision of the psychopathic human receptionist, Gianna, sitting there completely unaffected.

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