"You killed me." Lana's face loomed in front of Clark's. "You killed me. You told me your secret. You took that crystal. You saved your father and killed me. I loved you. I was always honest with you and it took you so long to be honest with me that it killed me. You killed me." Lana whispered. It would have almost been better if she was yelling them, but she was whispering them with a hurt expression on her face, tears running down her cheeks and every syllable was making Clarks heart ache even more. "Is this what you do to the people you love?"
Then the unbearable vision of the accident passed across his vision. He heard the terror in her voice; on that last phone call….he saw her lying sprawled and dead in the road. He felt the last kiss they shared, their last embrace, right before he never saw her again. She saw her nose crinkle up with laughter, he felt her hug him again after they found out his dad was the new senator of Smallville.
He was pulled out of his dream suddenly. "No. No, Lana. I'm sorry." he whispered, he was sweating, tired. It was 2:22 in the morning.
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"Clark?"
"Dad, I'm not really in the mood to talk."
"But we need to. Son, I know you're hurt, and that you feel lost. But you need to do your best to move on and live your life. I know that it sounds severe, but would Lana want you to sit up here, blaming everything on yourself? Clark, loss if a part of life. I know how much it must hurt. But I love you and I just want what's best for you."
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"Hey, Smallville."
"What are you doing here?"
"Your parents sent me up here, I'm thier last effort to cheer you up. I guess they thought I might be able to talk some sense into you."
"I know their just worried, but it's like I can't even bring myself to think or do anything really but breathe and think about her."
"Clark." Lois said. Unsure of what to say Lois cautiously rested her hand on Clark's shoulder. "What if you…came in for dinner? Get some food in that glum body of yours?"
"Yesterday, I picked up the phone. To call Chloe. Her number was right there. On the top of the list. Just like it has been for years. I just wanted to call her. I just wanted to hear her voice. I'd do anything to have her back." Clark turned to Lois, all the pent up tears streaming down his face. "I just miss her so much. Everything I do reminds me of her. Everything."
Lois looked at him. It seemed so strange to see this rock solid farm boy crying and weak. Lois didn't know what to do, so she hugged him around the shoulders.
"Hey? Come on. Everything's going to be okay. Just…give it some time." Clark leaned towards Lois a little bit; he didn't know what had made him open up to her even that little bit. Their little embrace lasted a moment longer till Clark pulled away.
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"Hey Clark. How are you doing?"
"I'm fine, Chloe. What are you doing here?"
"Oh. I just found these pictures of Lana, and I thought you might like to have them."
"Thanks. Why don't you just leave them on the table?" Chloe set the pictures album down and turned to go.
"Clark. I'm worried about you."
"Chloe, I told you, I'm fine."
"Clark, you're not the only one who's hurting."
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Clark opened the picture album up to the first page. There she was. Her beautiful smiling face. He touched her face with his finger tips, closing his eyes trying to remember every detail.
"Lois? Can you come over? I need somebody to talk to."
"Yeah. I'll be over in just a minute."
"Hey Clark. What's up?"
"I was just looking at these pictures of Lana."
Lois walked over to him and laid her hand on his shoulder.
"She looks so happy. It must have been before she met me."
"Clark don't say that. She loved you. Every time you walked into the room her face lit up. She never sounded happier than when she was with you. Stop blaming yourself for her ever being unhappy. Don't say stupid things like that. She loved you, more than anything. There was nothing you could of done. She told me once when I was upset 'It's better to live life with the person you love for any fraction of time than to go without love for all eternity' and that's what she did."
"Thanks Lois."
"No problem. Clark, why'd you call me?"
"What?"
"Well, you said you needed somebody to talk to. Why not Chloe, or your parents?"
"I don't know. I just…wanted you here."
Lois smiled and dropped her eyes. "Oh, look at this. Where are you guys?"
"On top of the windmill at Chandler's field. She used to love it up there. You can see the Metropolis skyline from there. She said once that it was one of her greatest desires, so I made it come true."
"Let's go."
"What?"
"Let's go. Come on, let's go see it. I drove all the way over here so we can at least go do something besides mourn."
"You really can see the Metropolis skyline from here. This is incredible!" Lois said. They were sitting on the top of the windmill, dangling their feet off the side. "I can see why Lana loved this place." A single tear slid down Clark's cheek and they sat in a comfortable silence just looking around.
A/N: Hey People! I tried to follow 'Mlle. Skywalker' said and make my chapter longer! Hope you like it! Read and Review! (Please)