POTO Help Line

by Maidenhair

Why do you think all the POTO characters had such a hard time? Well, they had ME as their advisor. Page 11 is here to scare you.

7. page 7

Page 7

Disclaimer: No. I wouldn't dare!

To Syen: You may enjoy.

To Pimpernelunderthecelticmoon: Heheheheh!

To Baby-vixen: Yeah, I got that from L-X-R. She's funny.

To L-X-R: Yes, like I said, I did copy that. ;)

To Mizamour: Sorry, this is a POTO help line. I probably will do a Les Mis one and then you can. THAT'S SOOOO COOL about Colm Wilkenson! Yay! One of my friend's sister's friend sand a duet with him!

To Phantom of Erik's Past: Thanx. I'll ask Erik.

To El Loco Uno: Yay! What kind of cookie? I LUV cookies, only I'm sugar intolerant so it'll have to be an organic splenda cookie….

To Jessie-ashely: Thanx! Yeah, I'm glad you agree on the smut thing. I hate that! Well, thanx again. Smiles!

To 1wingangel: Hi, I have you in.

To Sereenie: Thanx. Oh, I LUV the song that never ends! I sing it on weekends and holidays and all throughout May!

To Angel-of-music1331: Don't worry, Erik is just an overly sensitive, ADD, hypo-allergic, insatiable person who is subject to mood swings.

RilkaGreenRider: I have a dark gift? Hmm… Ok, thanx for the review. What does ROTFLMAO mean?

To Moonjava: Thank you. I'm having fun writing it. FUN! YAY!

Dear M,

Last week I had a few

Dark dreams. I need an interpreter.

Can you suggest one of quality.

E.

Dear E,

Try Joseph, he has a

Technicolor dream coat.

M.

Dear M,

I wanna banana!

The Hungry One

Dear HO,

Uh, what?

M.

Dear M,

I need a pretty flower

To stick in my button hole

For my new suit. Could you

Suggest one?

R. de C.

Dear R. de C,

Try a carnation for the

Serious attire,

Dandelion for the hippy look,

Rose for the Erik look,

And skunk cabbage for the

Ever popular total dip-stick look.

M.

Dear M,

I have a serious problem.

I seem to love my childhood

Buddy and I also have an attraction

To my voice teacher. Who should I choose.

C.

Dear C,

Well, seeing as your

Voice teacher promised to help

Me re-design my room,

You my want to choose the fop,

er- childhood buddy, he's less busy.

M.

Dear M,

I want you to stop referring

All those idiot phan-girls

To me NOW!

Gerry

Dear Gerry,

Gosh! You are sooo temperamental!

Like, double gosh! I mean, a gourd

Should be glad that girls like him and

Don't want to eat him!

GOSH!

M.

Dear M,

For the last time! I'm not

That vegetable! I'm the HUMAN

SCOTTISH Gerry!

Gerry

Dear Gerry,

Scottish eh? You mean one

Of those smelly, Loch Ness monster

Sighting, beer drinking, skirt wearing Scots

With arm pit hair down to their waits? Uh,

SAY! Have you ever actually SEEN Nessie?

M.

Dear M,

Why do I even try?

Gerry.

Dear Gerry,

I dunno.

M.

Dear M,

You give a lot of advice.

Do you have a license for that?

Concerned Phan.

Dear CP,

Nope! I am 100 percent

Unofficial!

M.

Dear M,

I need some advice to

Help me kidnap my girlfriend

So she will marry me.

E.

Dear E,

Ok. The first thing you

Wanna do is get the gal on stage

Singin' your gig. Now, listen up,

You may borrow me shears and cut da

Chandelier (but give em back by dawn or

Snakes will give ya the juice on da chair.)

Then take da chick to da underground lair,

And threaten ta juice da fop unless she

And ya gets hitched.

M. (which also stands for mafia if you want to know)

Dear M,

I am under the impression that

YOU have been giving BAD advice

To my voice teacher! STOP IT NOW!

C.

Dear C,

ME? Why honestly darling!

My advice is wonderful and

Kind (always!)

M.

Dear M,

Life is tough. I

Have always known that.

So when my CRAZY

Somewhat friend, Erik,

Sends me a BIG present,

I get scared, right.

I opened the package and

I see this nice bed spread and

A bike. What does this mean?

D.N.

Dear D.N,

Put the bed spread on the bed

And ride the bike. Then, write a

Nice little thank you note to your

Somewhat friend.

M.

Dear M,

Lalalalala!

U.P.

Dear U.P,

What does it mean?

M.

Dear M,
I am in love with many men

that do not exist in reality.

Do I have a chance of ever

getting a boyfriend here on Earth?
Internet Person who is Extraordinarily Expressive during Dinner

Dear IPED,

Uh, who wants a boy friend?

Not me! I have no time for

Such fiddle-faddle. Join me and

Spend time wisely!

M.

Dear M,
Is the fop really as stupid as the fanfic

authors write him?
ReginaRex

Dear RR,

If he's not he should be,

I like him better as a total

Idiot. It's more fun.

M.

Dear M
I'M LONELY! Is Erik still lonely?

If he is, let him know that someone

is looking for someone like him.
Phantom of Erik's past.

Dear PEP,

I don't know.

He doesn't confide in me regularly.

I'll ask.

M.

Dear E,

Wanna date?

M.

Dear M,

YOU? No way!

No thanks!

E.

Dear E,

No, not me!

(Though I'm a CHARMING

PSYCO!)

This gal known as PEP

Wants ta date you. Actually,

Her name is 'The Phantom of

Erik's Past'.

M.

Dear M,

The phantom of my past?

That's scary! Uh, I'll

Think on this.

E.

Dear M
Me and my best friend are

thinking about making a POTO/Star

Wars cross over. I mean, there are so

many similarities between Leah and Christine,

and Darth Vadar has the demented face like

Erik, and Luke is all girly like Raoul! It ALL WORKS OUT!
-Weird Old Wally

Dear WOW,

Ok, that makes sense!

I agree. Erik might not,

But I do. Leah is a heck of a lot

Tougher than Christine though.

It's like buff Christine. Yeah,

Luke is girly.

Ta-ta!

M.

Ok, that's all (for the time being). Ta-ta and do review! Cheerio!

M.