Page 12
Disclaimer: I do not own anything here.
DEAR PEOPLE OF THE HELP LINE:
MISS MAIDENHAIR IS CURRENTLY UNDER ARREST FOR STEALING EIGHTEEN JARS OF MAYONNAISE AND TRYING TO USE THE CONDIMENTS TO GREASE HER HAIR.
BAIL IS EIGHTY MILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS.
-THE MODERATORS
Dear M,
Will you be able to reply from jail?
C.D.
Dear C.D,
Yes.
M.
Dear M,
My lair was attacked my a rabid mob screaming for my blood. What should I do now? I haven't a home!
E.
Dear E,
You could go on the Oprah show.
M,
Dear M,
Why is the format different for this page?
P. de C.
Dear P. de C.,
Because I am using a crappy jail computer.
M.
Dear M,
I have tried time and time again. It is no use. My friend will not stop committing crimes. What should I do?
D.N.
Dear D.N.,
You could always kill him.
M.
Dear M,
I don't know about you, but I'm really bored of watching The Perils of Pauline every night.
Madame G.
Dear Madame G.,
Yes, that would be dull…
M.
Dear M,
Why are you such a jerk?
Person
Dear Person,
Oddly enough, I'm not. I just act like one for the help line.
M.
Dear M,
I am tired of the same old thing.
Jack
Dear Jack,
Please get your own help line!
M.
Dear M,
I don't want to go on Oprah. I just want my home back.
E.
Dear E,
I know several phangirls who would gladly assist you in your hour of need.
M.
Dear M,
It has come to my attention that the personage known as "E" on your help line may very well be the infamous Phantom of the Opera.
R.
Dear R,
AHHHH! MY FAVORITE FRENCH DETECTIVE! I LOVE YOU!
M.
Dear M,
Never mind.
R.
Dear M,
Your magic eight ball was right! My life is now utter misery. My love is dead, and, more importantly, my job is ruined!
C. the Diva
Dear C. the Diva,
What can I say, it's always true.
M.
Dear M,
May I talk to you personally about my love life?
R. de C.
Dear R. de C.,
Certainly not!
M.
Hey peoples! Okay, hope you like this! Oh, and as a side note, I hope no one was insulted by my last post. It was just for fun, I promise. ;)