Elliot rushed into the station, still mumbling obscenities under his breath about traffic. Olivia smiled to herself, enjoying Elliot's usual Monday morning routine. She had tried for years, and failed miserably, to get him to leave earlier on Mondays to avoid traffic during his commute. He never listened, always swore it was a "one-time thing." He had barely taken his jacket off when Cragen appeared at their desks, file in hand.
"Elliot, you're late," Cragen started, and continued without giving his detective the chance to explain himself. "Munch and Fin are tied up re-canvassing the Williams apartment building. Right now, this is the only lead we've got," he explained, handing the folder to Olivia. "I need you two to sit on his apartment until he shows up, bring him in for questioning. Elliot, your tie," he said, as he walked back into his office.
Elliot just shook his head at Olivia's disapproving glance and followed Cragen into his office.
"Cap?" he looked at him, holding up his useless hand. "I can't," he said, embarrassment creeping onto his face.
Cragen studied the face of his detective, and smiled to himself at his helplessness. He walked over to him and began to tie the knot, feeling like a proud dad helping his son.
"Everything okay with you?" he asked out of genuine concern.
"Yeah, thanks," Elliot replied with a smile.
"And…there you go," Cragen stepped back to admire his work. "Get out of here," he said, ushering Elliot out the door.
Elliot hustled out of the office, grabbed his coat off the back of his chair, yelling thanks over his shoulder as he ran out of the bullpen. He emerged into the bright sunlight outside to see Olivia leaning against their squad car, her arms folded tightly across her chest. She tossed Elliot the keys and climbed in the passenger side.
Elliot started the ignition and immediately rolled down the window, the car already stuffy from the warm spring sunshine. He knew he was in for a long day when Olivia immediately shifted in her seat to stare out the window. He turned the radio on to fill the awkward silence. They drove a few blocks before Olivia finally spoke.
"Can we stop for coffee?" she asked timidly, almost like a young child asking her father to stop for ice cream.
"Yeah, sure," Elliot said, switching lanes expertly in time to stop at one of their favorite coffee shops.
"Want anything?" Olivia asked, her hand already on the door handle.
"The usual, I guess," Elliot flashed a smile of thanks.
It went unnoticed, however. She simply nodded and climbed out of the blue sedan. Elliot leaned back into his seat and groaned. He would think that after spending so much of his life around women, he'd have a better sense of how to deal with them. But not this time.
Fifteen minutes later, they were parked a few houses down from the brownstone where their suspect lived. After knocking at his door and receiving no answer, they retreated back to their car to wait.
They sipped their coffee in silence, the only sound coming from Olivia rummaging through the paper bag from the coffee shop.
"Hungry?" she asked, offering the top half of her bagel to Elliot.
"Sure, thanks," he said, graciously accepting what he hoped was a peace offering.
As he stared out the window at the quiet street, he thought about what Kathy had told him the other day. He had to make her listen. Now was as good of a time as any. They were trapped in a squad car on assignment, she couldn't get away easily. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized he didn't know if he actually wanted to know what was going on with his partner. She would tell him if there was something he needed to know, right? Elliot shook those thoughts out of his mind and took a deep breath, unsure of where this conversation was headed.
"Olivia?" he asked quietly, and he waited for her to look up before he continued.
"Hmm?" she asked mindlessly spreading cream cheese on her bagel.
Elliot cleared his throat and went on.
"I'm sorry. I crossed a line that night, and I'm so sorry," he bowed his head, unwilling to see the expression on her face. He didn't want to make things worse, but for some reason, he thought he might.
"Elliot," she sighed, craning her neck to meet his eyes that were staring at the emergency brake that separated them.
"No, let me finish please. Hear me out," he looked at her for approval, and she nodded, setting her bagel on the dashboard, settling in for one of Elliot's serious talks.
"I was tired, frustrated. I'm worried about you," he said, noticing Olivia's eyes pooling with tears. But he went on. "I said terrible things, I know that. I pushed too hard, and I didn't realize it then, but I do now. I know that if I gave you space, you'd come to me eventually. If you wanted to talk, that is. And if you don't, that's fine."
He paused for a moment, he knew he was rambling, but these were all things that needed to be said, and the quicker the better.
"No, actually, that's not fine. Olivia, something's going on with you, and we're best friends, and if you can't tell me, I'm worried you won't tell anyone else, either. I just want to tell you that I'm here. I can be a good listener, I promise," he finished, his hands trembling. There, he'd said what he needed to say.
He turned his gaze from the windshield to Olivia's face, surprised to see that she wasn't able to hold back her tears. He reached across the seat and with his thumb wiped her tears. She shook her head and pushed Elliot's hand away.
"Liv, it's okay," he said, not knowing what to do. He was terrible with crying women. He found in most cases, it was best to let them cry and open up when they were ready. So he pulled his hand back and watched her while she struggled to contain her emotions.
"I'm sorry," she finally managed between sniffles. "I said some awful things to you. God, I can't believe I was such a bitch."
Elliot smiled, satisfied that their relationship was headed back in the right direction. They were talking, attempting to work out their problems. They were quiet for a few minutes, Elliot sipped his coffee and finished off his bagel. Olivia, however, continued to wipe her tears as she stared out her open window, breathing in the refreshing spring air.
"Dean broke up with me, um, about four weeks ago," Olivia started, her voice quiet. Elliot could tell this was hard for her and he kept his mouth shut and nodded for her to continue.
"It was that night we worked late, you dropped me off at my place. Remember, it was the Perkins girl?" Elliot nodded, remembering that day well. Their strength and knowledge had been questioned on that case, they were both drained. Elliot dropped her off, and they looked at each other in his car, perhaps for a moment too long, but they had a mutual understanding. Olivia just knew that Elliot was thinking about his girls, and Elliot knew Olivia was thinking about herself as a young girl. They needed each other in that moment. Elliot remembered Olivia's forced smile as she left him at the curb, and he watched her walk away, shoulders hunched, wishing there was more he could do to comfort her. But there was nothing he could do, and he knew it, he just drove away.
It took him a minute to find his voice, but he finally managed, "Yeah, it was a rough case."
"Anyway, I walked into my lobby and Dean was there. He was so mad, he said…" she shook her head angrily. "No, I'm not even going to tell you what he said, but he ended it."
She stopped, and Elliot was unsure if she was finished. He laced the fingers of his good hand through hers, squeezing her hand gently. Just as he was about to open his mouth to offer some semblance of comfort, she continued.
"Three weeks before that, I found out I was pregnant," she said, her bottom lip quivering.
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