"Fabulous. Now I'm hallucinating."

Peri laughed. "Sorry, Doc, but I'm not all in your head."

The Doctor glared at the figure standing before him. He jabbed an accusing finger in her direction. "You are dead, Peri, your mind destroyed by Crozier and your body by that bloody barbarian Yrcanos after Kiv took it over. Or," he continued sarcastically, without bothering to take a breath, "if the Master is to be believed, you went off with Yrcanos and became his queen. Either way, you are not here."

Peri stood, watching with an amused smile on her face, waiting for the diatribe to end. When the Doctor finished, she waited another beat, then slowly shook her head. "I told you, the TARDIS saved me." Her grin turned impish. "I may not be in your head, Doc, but I'm in hers."

"Hallucinating, hah!" he muttered, ignoring her as he paced deliberately around the Console, facing the interior door. "Audible and visible, but!" he whirled around and marched purposefully toward her. "But, if I touch you, you won't be real!" He stopped just in front of her and very deliberately poked her in the shoulder.

"Hey!" Peri's voice was indignant as she slapped his hand away. "Quit poking me!"

The Doctor stared. His hand, contrary to expectations, had not passed right through her, causing her to vanish as the hallucination was banished. Instead, his finger made direct contact with her shoulder. Just as her hand made direct contact with his. He rubbed absently at his smarting fingers as he mulled the possibilities. "You're not an hallucination," he finally pronounced.

"Nope." Peri sounded annoyed. "I already told you that. And I may not feel things the way I used to, but I don't appreciate being poked."

Everything she'd said since first appearing finally made its way to his conscious mind. "Wait, the TARDIS rescued you? How? And what d'you mean, you don't feel things the way you used to?"

Peri sighed and took his hand in hers. It felt warm, real, just like Peri's hand ought to feel, and the Doctor felt a thrill of hope. Not dead, not living as Yrcanos' queen half a galaxy away… Her next words, however, brought him back to the bitterness of reality. "Sorry, Doc, I'm not alive, either. This body may feel real to you, but it's just a holographic projection. The TARDIS saved my consciousness, not my life. My real body's still just a pile of ashes." She looked incredibly sad, but the Doctor had the feeling she was sad for him, not for herself.

He gently disentangled his fingers from hers. From the holographic projections of fingers, rather. "Now how in the universe did she do that?" he murmured, glancing automatically at the innocent-looking Console. Peri opened her mouth to answer, and he shushed her with a sad smile. "No, don't bother. I'd really rather not know, because then I'd be tempted to use it every time I lose someone in the future."

"It probably won't ever work again; the circumstances were pretty unique," Peri said, perhaps meaning to comfort him. "It was a combination of your connection to the TARDIS, the way my consciousness was removed, even Yrcanos' destruction of my body was a factor. I don't really understand it all, not yet, but I will once I become fully integrated into the TARDIS."

That caught his attention. "Fully integrated? You mean, become a permanent part of the TARDIS?" He sounded intrigued, then caught himself, shook his head at the thought. "Absolutely not! Not that I'd mind having you about, but it wouldn't be fair to you; you'd lose your sense of self. I'd rather try to find a way to get you into a new body of your own, a clone or even an android, the technology certainly exists--"

"Maybe it does, but that's not what I want. What we want," Peri interrupted firmly. "We both, we all know those things don't ever seem to work out. Don't we." She held his gaze until he reluctantly nodded. She was right; after all, look at what had just happened, all because someone was attempting a mind transfer.

"But for every failure, there's an equal number of success stories," he argued, but she just looked at him. "Well, perhaps not an equal number, but some," he tried again, weakly.

"I'd rather not take the chance," Peri replied. Her expression softened. "I don't mind losing my sense of self, not if it means becoming part of the TARDIS. Remaining a part of your life." Her eyes lit with wonder. "Just being in there now, even with the TARDIS keeping my consciousness separate so I could talk to you, the things I've discovered--! I was never an A student, Doc," she confessed. "Never what you'd call a brainiac. Now I have the chance to learn more than anyone I've ever met, more than I could learn even just traveling with you, and that's what I want. I'm just lucky the TARDIS is willing to share you with me."

"Yes, she has been known to be rather temperamental," the Doctor agreed wryly. He caught her gaze again. "So why bother with this?" he indicated her holographic body. "Just to say good-bye?"

She nodded. "Exactly. I didn't want to leave you wondering what really happened to me, which memories were real and which were fabricated by the Valeyard." She pulled a sour face. "Plus I really didn't want you to think I'd gone off with Yrcanos. I would have gone nuts if I'd had to spend the rest of my life with him!"

The Doctor laughed, feeling better than he had since being pulled to Gallifrey for that mockery of a trial. Truly better, not just play-acting for Mel's sake. "If that's what you really want…"

She nodded. "It is. It's not that I don't want to be with you the way we used to, it's just that I'm a little scared that something will go wrong and I'll really be destroyed. At least in the TARDIS, I know I'll be with you. Because, you know, the TARDIS loves you as much as I do."

"In spite of my many shortcomings?" He had to lighten the moment; to hear Peri confess her love for him at the moment she was bidding him good-bye would be too much to bear otherwise.

Peri grinned. "Maybe even because of them. Quirks and all, we both love you. That's part of the way she was able to save me.So you see, this is the perfect solution."

"Well, perhaps not perfect, but as good as you two seem to be willing to risk," the Doctor countered, not quite suppressing the disappointment in his voice.

"Exactly. Because neither of us wants to take the chance of losing you." She stepped forward and put her hands on his shoulders. "I'll be with you always, Theta. I want you to be happy, to find someone else to be happy with, someday." She leaned forward and kissed him. He kissed her back, and sometime before he'd been ready to end it, she vanished.

oooOooo

"And you never saw her again?"

The Doctor shook his head. "She never took on that holographic form again, but there was really no need. Not once she'd become fully integrated; the TARDIS is her body now." He patted the counter affectionately. "Things have even become a tad more efficient around here since then."

"And she really won't mind if you ever find someone else?" Ace was familiar with the concept of unselfish love only in the academic sense. It seemed impossible to her that anyone could feel that way, just let the person they loved go to someone else, no matter how disembodied and integrated with a machine they might be. Come to think of it, that was a weird enough thought on its own, that Peri was still hanging about like some kind of high-tech ghost.

"No more than the TARDIS ever would," the Doctor replied to her question. "She's not hovering over me, Ace, like some kind of vengeful spirit." Once again, he'd read her thoughts. She hated when he did that. "She and the TARDIS are one, which means she would have to have shed all her human failings or it would never have worked."

"But what about her human emotions?" Ace argued, still uneasy. She had a sudden picture of Peri taking form and doing all the mundane chores around the TARDIS that seemed to do themselves. "What if she gets tired of picking up after us or does get jealous when you find someone new?"

The Doctor sighed and rose to his feet. "I'm sorry, Ace, I can't explain it any clearer than I already have. As for Peri's human emotions…" he smiled, a private smile, before looking back at her concerned face. "As for her human emotions, they would by necessity have been just as fully integrated into the TARDIS as the rest of her consciousness. Since Peri sacrificed her sense of self, she also gave up those emotions, at least as you would recognize them."

Ace set her jaw stubbornly. "I think she was daft," she pronounced. "If it ever happens to me, Doctor, you make sure and find me proper body to live in."

"I give you my word." The Doctor watched as Ace walked out of the room, pulling her dressing-gown tighter around herself in an unconscious gesture, as if to protect herself from prying eyes. Well, he'd told her to get dressed. "She'll get used to the idea," he murmured, half to himself and half to the TARDIS. And Peri.

He chuckled and headed for the Console Room. Time to plot their next course. Yes, Ace would get used to the idea. He made a private bet with himself as to how long it would take. "When she asks me about Leela," he said aloud. "That's when I'll know."

The End

A/N: Originally this story was going to strictly be in line with the other "Old Girlfriends" stories, and just sort of fill in the relationship blanks between the 6th Doctor and Peri. However, as I reviewed details of "Trial of a Time Lord", I realized that I had never been satisfied with the way Peri was written out of the show; or rather, how she wasn't written out. The Master, of all people, reassuring the Doctor that Peri was living as a warrior queen? I personally never bought it. Then a few years ago Nicola Bryant was the guest at a local Dr. Who convention (Springfield, MA) and she voiced her own dissatisfaction with that scenario. She said she had a lot of fun filming the whole "head-shaving, being taken over by an alien and then being killed" thing, and felt that they diluted the impact by making it seem as if it never really happened. That statement really stuck with me, so when I came to the point in this story where I had to figure out the ending, I decided to incorporate my own ideas as to Peri's ultimate fate. I hope people find it at least interesting…and I know you'll let me know whether you like it or not!

One last thing: A website I find absolutely vital in helping to jog my memory when it comes to specific details of a particular episode (especially those I haven't seen in 20 or more years), is "The Doctor Who Reference Guide" ( at Not only do they give detailed overviews of each episode (organized by Doctor), they also cover novels, comics, radio programs, etc. I highly recommend it to anyone writing Dr. Who fanfics, as well as people who just appreciate the show!