Part 2
"Welcome back to the show, is everyone back in their seats ready to begin? Let's see, we have Teal'c, Jonas, Daniel, Ja... Where are Jack, and Sam?" Alex says as she looks around.

"Oh not again!" Nicola groans. "I'm not even going to give them a warning this time." Nicola mutters under her breath as she pulls the hose from the set and walks towards the dressing room. She opens the door and quickly turns it on full blast.

"OH WHAT THE..." Everyone hears Jack yell before it is drowned out by the water. Nicola turns the hose off after a couple of moments and gives them a very angry look.

"I said two minutes, you have had five minutes. The show started two minutes ago, you should have been there three minutes ago, now GET YOUR ARSES BACK IN YOUR GOD DAMN SEATS!" Nicola screams as they quickly leg it to their seats. Jonas leans over to Daniel.

"Was that English?"

"No, actually that was Nicola's language for they better get back quickly or she is going to kill them." Alex explains calmly after over hearing their conversation.

Jack and Sam by now had found their way back to their seats and Nicola is now back in her place next to Alex.

"Moving on, let's bring up the next topic ... Enemies." Nicola announces in a very cheery voice, as everyone on the stage groans loudly.

"Over the years you have had a lot of enemies, your first one in the series was probably the biggest pain in your arse, so as a treat we have him here for you... Ladies and gentlemen please put your hands together for... (Excruciating long pause)... Apophis." Alex announces.

"WHAT? No he is dead we killed him ... twice ... three times ... maybe more ... I've lost count ... the point is he is dead." Jack screams.

"Not anymore, he is here today for your entertainment." Nicola says.

"Entertainment? You mean for our torture," He replies.

"Oh yeah ... sorry... for your torture and our entertainment." Nicola says with an evil smile.

Everyone turns their head to the side of the stage to see Apophis walking in with three of his serpent guards following closely behind. He was decked out in his normal gold suit and the extreme amount of make-up.

"Oh look its goldilocks and the three gold bears." Nicola says in a sing song voice.

"Bow down to your god!" Apophis ordered Nicola. Nicola gave him the not-a-chance-in-hell look.

"I don't think so buddy. Sit your snake arse down and drop your pets of somewhere else." She said pointing to the three serpent guards. Apophis sat down immediately, simply because he had never seen anything as scary as the girls in front of him.

"He never did that for us. How did you do that?" Jack asks amazed.

"Watch and learn, you'll go far." Nicola answered.

"Okay, can we get back to the show now please?" Alex asked.

"Sure, fine, whatever." Nicola says. "Now Apophis why do you hate SG-1 and Earth so much?"

"I don't actually know, they're just always there. You'd think that killing me once would be satisfying enough, but no they kill a second time, but then they decide to do it again. You know some people could take that very personally, and I have feelings you know. There are two life forms in me, two times the emotion, I don't need the stress of people trying kill me, I mean doesn't anybody care?" Apophis whines on the verge of tears.

Nicola and Alex share a look and then turn back to look at Apophis.

"No." They say in unison. Apophis looks at them in shock for a moment with a hand over his heart before he jumps up and runs off the stage in tears towards the bathroom, the door slams shut after him.

"O...K. Big bad Apophis just ran off the stage ... Like a sissy girl." Alex says in confusion.

Nicola turns to SG-1.

"It took you guys four seasons to kill that guy and we had him in tears in two minutes, what's the deal with that?"

"What is the deal with that? HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO IT?" Jack asked once he came out of his shock in seeing Apophis crying.

"Sheer talent." Nicola replies. "Okay on to the current snake head. He has only been in it for a while now but seems to be pissing you off pretty good ... everyone please welcome Annubis." Nicola announces. A big figure walks in wearing the long black cloak and the mask. He looked like a cross between the grim reaper and Darth Vader, heavy breathing included. SG-1's faces were priceless.

"Bow down to me lowly humans." Annubis demanded

"Whoa Darth Vader we're the hosts here we hand out the demands. SIT YOUR ARSE DOWN!" Alex demanded. Annubis sat down while Nicola looked on in wonder.

"What is it with you guys and bowing? When you meet someone you don't go 'bow down to me' you say hi or hello or at least grunt in response, you don't get all ordery and order people to bow, that's just rude." Nicola explained while SG-1 were once again in shock to how these two could get the two hardest system lords to reduce to tears and to shut them up so quickly.

"So SG-1 why does Annubis piss you off so much?" Nicola asks the team.

"Well where do we start? He started by blocking our gate, then trying to kill us every opportunity he got and now he has these super soldiers that are just ack!" Sam says ranting.

"And don't forget that he probed my mind with that little ball thing that had these spikes in them... and it hurt." Jonas wines.

"Oh come on! All I want to do is take over your puny little planet, not a big deal." Annubis replies in a voice that doesn't really suit the look of the grin reaper.

"What's the big deal? Are you kidding? Oh it isn't just our puny planet that you want, it is ours and every other planet in the whole frickin' universe as well." Jack reminds him.

Annubis stands up and his normal voice is back in place.

"I will destroy you!" He threatened.

"Oh no you wont, if anyone is going to do any destroying around here it is going to be us." Nicola tells him

"Sadly that is all we have time for, join us after the commercial break for more enemies because they have made so many we couldn't fit them all in this part. Please remember to call in with your topic requests and we will see you after the break." Alex says

"And CUT! Great guys, we have three minuets then we are back." Steve calls around the set.

"Hey Annubis!" Nicola calls to get his attention.

"Yes?"

"Get the hell off our stage." She tells him as she points towards the exit door.

"Oh ... Okay." Annubis replies as he turns to leave without even a little fight.

"How the hell do you girls do that first Apophis...?" Jack started before he was interrupted by Alex.

"Oh God Apophis, is he still in the toilet?"

"Yeah, someone just checked and the door is still locked so he's still in there crying." Steve informed her.

"Well get him outta there, he'll make a mess. That's all we need, a stupid, gold loving freak messing up our toilets."