What can I say? It's a one shot monologue I was inspired to do after listening to some Johnny Cash and reading GG at the same time. Entirely my mistake. Nothing special - but there's some stuff in there about Triela that links in to my other story which I'll be putting up as soon as I work up the courage and get it so I'm happy with the result... enjoy! It's nice and depressing!
Tears and Blood
I watch the raindrops beat a pattern on the window. They form trickles that dance and chase each other across the glass. Trickles like tears. Like blood. Tears and blood. Blood and tears. It's the same either way. Like life. Whichever way you view it it's always the same. Tears and blood.
I watch the people on the television set as I sit alone in this empty room. The wooden chair beneath me well used to this now. Used to these tears. Used to this blood. The razor cutting into my palm. It's a lie. Like the liars on the screen. Smiling and laughing. Nothing more than heroin addicts and tired old men being paid to play at being happy families. Lies. Their end will be like this. Tears and blood.
My brother says I'll get a new partner. I don't want a new partner. I want you back to hold, to smile, to love. No more lies. My boss he tells me I've got the team worried. They're worried about my behaviour, he says. Idiot. Liar. He just wants another gun-hand. Another child destroyer. No more. I surrender. Since you've been gone, all I know are these tears and this blood. Tears and blood.
I should have been ready, I guess. I should have been prepared. Poor Marco. I share his pain now. But he was always strong. Always tough. He could always get on with things in his own way. Me? No, I can't get on without you. I envy Hillshire. Triela ended in tears and blood. She lost her battle, but Hillshire couldn't mourn for long – he lost his fight too. They ended together. In pools of tears and blood. Tears and blood.
Then
I think of poor, unyielding Claes. Dying alone in her room. Unloved.
With no memories of her past or present. And no thought
for the
future. Raballo didn't matter any more. He was already tears and
blood. And so it comes to you – my Henrietta. When you started to
shut down. That day your mind was lost in itself. That day you forgot
my face. That day you looked at me and said,
"Nice to meet you".
I'll never forget. The cold iron kiss under my chin.
My brother says I'll get a new partner.
This gun says I won't.