Hello all, to my first story! It might be immensely confusing and disorganized, because quite frankly, I really suck at being organized. .' Argh, hyper...on...coke...again. Sorry about that.
This story is basically about a reminiscing Sesshomaru and...that's about it!
Disclaimer: ...Do you really think that I'd be doing this if I owned Inuyasha?
All youkai and all humans know that I, Sesshomaru, son of Inutaisho and Lord of the Western Lands, despise humans. I did not inherit my father's compassion for the lowly humans, nor his patience for their foolish antics. I am a youkai and as such, I hold more power in my formerly lost arm than any group of humans could ever hope to gain in their time of existence. They call us youkai beasts who deserve to disappear from this world and claim that we are the ones who destroy all things good. Who are they to say such though, when it is not our interference that destroys their pitiful little lives, but their own? They vandalize this world and slaughter this worlds harvests, caring little about those which have existed before them.
Compared to us youkai, humans are no more than weeds. They can be picked off easily, or they can spread like wildfire. However, with all that happens in this world, their existence can never be exterminated. They need to be tended to, taken care of. Without help and companionship, they will be starved of life, or be brutally attacked and killed. And such is with the idiotic weeds that haunt the fields of trees. They steal the lives of those things which are beautiful, take the nutrients from those who are deserving, and dress up in their pretty colors and are never satisfied. They are useless and do nothing in this world.
So why should we bother loving them? Why should we waste our time, loving them, caring for them, or even missing them? Why do we bother caring for those who label us as evil when their hypocritical existences do nothing in the way of life. No one misses weeds. No one misses those who do little more than act like parasites.
And yet…I, Sesshomaru, one who loathes humans, once came upon a girl who was a flower when there were only weeds to be found. She was simple and often times troublesome, but easily captured the hearts of unwilling souls.
As it was, I'd met her solely by chance. I had been struck down by my foolish father's fang. I'd thought myself dead for an instant, until I'd heard the rustling of this little girl. She came, bringing food and drink, regardless of the fact that I didn't require any assistance. A day or two passed, and I saw her come to me with fish and bruises. It was not until later that I pieced it together and realized that her own people had beaten her. If they had not already been slaughtered, I would have come and done the job.
She did not come back one day and I believed that this was the end. We would never see each other again. We would move on, she would grow old, and this encounter would eventually fade in my memory. Yet I smelt blood, and death, and I saw her body. The Tensaiga would not let me forget this girl, so I revived her, saving her from the grasps of the death imps.
She was like no other human that I had ever encountered. She held the utmost respect for me, yet it was not brought about by fear, or lust, but adoration. (Perhaps it is unfair of me to bring lust up, she was after all at that time, only six.) Though she owed me no debt, she continued to follow, her steps lagging behind me, running when she fell too far behind. If this Sesshomaru could have simply continued walking and ignored her pleas to wait, I could have left her behind. Yet I somehow believe, that no matter how tired this young girl became, no matter how starved, she would have refused to stop following me. So this Sesshomaru allowed her to follow.
She held something that I, in all my greatness, could not have possessed if I should live for eternity. It was so human, and yet so godly at the same time, that this Sesshomaru could not dare to even touch it for fear of befouling it. She cared for things with all her heart, she loved, she tended to; she took care of all that she could. She cared not of what would happen to her as long as things turned out for the better in the end. No other human, I believe, could compare to this, no, not even the miko Inuyasha is so infatuated with. She did all she could, if only to remain by my side.
She could have been considered a nuisance as well. She was kidnapped, killed, near death many times, and that was quite probably, only the half of it. Yet when she needed a savior, I was there to rescue her; when she had a dilemma, I obliterated it. She trusted in me, not that I would fight for her, or destroy something at her whim, but that I would protect her, and care for her. She trusted that I would always come back. The rewards she gave this Sesshomaru were poor, a bouquet of simple wildflowers and a child's smile. I would have taken these than the riches of the other daimyos and lords I know, merely because she had given it to me because she was truly grateful, and did not think of it, as some believe, a debt or a favor. She had a smile that was only for me, and as she had once described to me, I had been a guiding light in her darkness. Then she'd smiled, the one solely for this Sesshomaru, and this Sesshomaru is never sure whether to be gratified, or amused to see that smile for me.
She was taken away from me many times as well, by humans and not just because they wanted to harm either of us, but to take her away from what they called 'evil.' This Sesshomaru eradicated each of these and let her choose between me, and returning where she belonged. Oh,I knew well where she belonged, but I ama selfish and possessive taiyoukai, and yet,I would have given her the moon to be happy.
And I have said that I met a young girl and that I saved her from those who would harm her. I witnessed her first death and revival, I saved her countless times. She desiredsomething, it was hers. It was her dream to stay by my side forever, and if I were to speak truly, I would not have minded very much. Yet as with all humans, she grew older and she matured from a young child to a young adult, as all humans do. I saw her through her time of becoming a woman and helped her trough her fears. Regrettably, I have also been forced to guide her through the foolish talk that those stupid humans do. To think that I, Sesshomaru, was coerced into doing such a thing as that.
She went through stages as a teenager as they call them, adolescents, Iknow them. She fell in 'love' as she called it, but she was a special girl, smart enough to know that it would not last. For short times, I was willing to stay just a day longer or two for her excuses which I knew held no true relevance but to see those she held a strong attraction to. After that, they faded out of her memories. She was, as I am thankful for, smart enough to see beyond the facades.
She'd also fallen in love before, and she felt her heart shatter. She came to me sobbing and I clearly remember the tangy scent of tears and bittersweet murmurs of loyalty towards me, and how she would never leave me. I did not answer, but she took my lack of answer as comfort more than anything else. I allowed her virtually ultimate freedom, allowing her to do as she liked, only setting down a restriction or two when it concerned me.
She left my household several times and so I moved on with my life each time, yet she always returned by my side again. She swore to me that she would never disappear by my side the last time that she left. I was told soon after what had happened, but it was never brought up again. She persisted in aging though. And it occurred to this Sesshomaru one day, that she had slowly but surely found a place in my heart, the one I have been accused of not having. Her world had begun to coexist with mine.
As she grew older still, I stayed at my castle more, watching her tend to her gardens and smile. Ihad been content to merely watch her, and let her read to her heart's content. Jaken as well, he passed one of those days as well, and she grieved. Then the inevitable came across, much to my household's despair. For she had come and conquered the hearts of even youkai, but age, the human disease,caught up with her. So she passed on a cool spring evening. Her eyes had lit up, not with a fierce joy, nor a grievous suffering. Her eyes held something in between, raw passion for something I had never cared to experience. She was crying then, and apologized. I never wanted to know, but that was the only time I wanted her to be silent, to cease speech. She apologized for leaving when it was not her doing, she apologized for the troubles she'd caused which I had never minded. I hated her for an instant, because she reminded me that she would soon be gone. And I allowed her to embrace me, to wet my chemise with tears. I carried her into the gardens which she adored so very much, and there she died. She clutched onto my collar and smiled brilliantly, that age old smile, and whispered three words before passing away, just as quietly as she'd come into mine. Although I could have extended her life to mine,I refused to use any kind of dark magic to keep her by my side, because selfish as this Sesshomaru may be, to see her as a monster would be to destroy her very essence.
I vaguely remember though, that she had never truly aged in the way that other humans do. Perhaps it was the Tensaiga's doing, but while she was old, her hair turned a platinum silver, the strands not at all rough or thin, but as silky and thick as it once was. Her skin remained almost as smooth as the woman she once was. The only thing that ever faltered was her ability to move as she once had, for her state of mind was clearer than the glass goblets she shone.
And though years upon years have passed since that very day, she has never faded from my mind, therefore keeping a promise for her. Once a child had asked me, that if she should ever die, would I please not forget her? I had never truly answered, only replying with my self explanatory, 'Don't be foolish.' She'd been comforted and smiled again. I remember her smiles, her life, her laughter; if I should forget, may the gods curse me for eternity. For each memory, no matter how small, sticks outin memory, so that I may look upon them fondly.
She was a simple girl, of no importance to anyone but I. She was innocent and naïve, pure until the day she died. She required no riches, no luxurious comforts as long as she could remain by the side of those she loved. Although she had the world at hand, she did not grow corrupt, and although she was more curious than the demons which have wondered how her flesh would taste, she never overstepped her boundaries. She lived life for the moment, never bothered to let anything vex her about the future. She lived life as, what was that quote again? Oh yes… "Dance as if no one can see you, sing as if no one can hear you, work as if you don't need the money, and live life as if it were your last day." She lived life in that fashion, and never had a thought of unrequited hatred.
What brings all this reminiscing on however? At this very moment, I am reminded of her promises to never leave me. I can see a smile, and chocolate eyes, in mind and in sight. I am reminded harshly of her vows and know that until my own existence ceases and I pass on into the afterlife. She will wait for me to catch up with her and guide her through the darkness of purgatory and through the curtains of fear into paradise.
A man who in all appearances looks only about twenty three is walking through an orphanage, glancing around at the interior, his smile mocking. His hair falls to his waist in hoary locks of silver and his golden eyes merely glance off of the warm looking walls. He knows what lies within and what his money is truly used for. Hypocrisy, he hides a laugh of abhorrence and continues through.
The markings on his beautiful face are perfectly symmetrical, and the moon on his brow not at all normal. Yet he passes it off as merely something done at birth.
However, he is in shock now. No emotion passes through his face as he bends down to come down face to face with her as she moves closer. He ignores the gasps behind him as the woman moves to remove her and only stops her with a hand. There is only the two of them in his minds eye and he sees all the signs of fate. Her eyes are mocha colored and full of life, but there is a bruise on her cheek. Her own waist length hair is tied up t the top, awkwardly, and she smiles a toothy smile. She offers him a small, almost wilted flower. He takes it without a word and tucks it into a fold of his jacket.
"What is your name child?" He asks, although he knows full well that it doesn't matter. He already knows, one way or another. She tries to speak but he knows that she is mute already. That would heal in time and for now he will play along. For he knows that also in time she will remember. It is inevitable that she will, as surely as she will find him, time and time again until the journey is over. "You don't want to tell?" He feels like a fool, but for her…he would do much more. "Then permit me to guess." She cocked her head and smiles. "Could it possibly be…?" He names it, holding his breath for a small breadth in time.
A nod.
A smile.
A flower.
A small, genuine, smile graces his lips as he feels arms wrap around his neck.
Rin.
Hoshi:-currently embarassed that she wrote such a thing- Ooh...if I embarassed myself (Which I'm sure I did) Please don't be mean!
Kyoushuu: ...nitwit.
The reason that Sesshomaru alternates from 'this Sesshomaru' to first person is because I'm not quite sure how he would do it in the 21st century. Also, although he'd talk more like the rest of the world, I'm pretty sure he would still speak a little like he did in the feudal era.
I was going to have anotherending of this, another version persay, but I thought this was the better work.
Please review! You'll make an authoress very happy!