Seven Years Later...
Chapter 3 Part 1
Pre-Ladies Night
By: Deep Shadows and EckoStalker
Disclaimer: We dont' Own elvis or his song. or the "Ladies Night" Tune Alexis sings. {Deep Shadows}
Alexis skipped down the stairs towards the second floor, smirking mischievously and mumbling under her breath. "He gets to go back to sleep... I get a date with the bloody lawnmower... I'll show him... lazy git... all he ever does is sleep... or bug me..."
She stopped outside the door to the now occupied guest room. She smirked and looked around for any signs of Artimis. She catches me, I'm dead.
Quietly, she slowly turned the knob and ever so gently pushed the door open. Severus Snape still lay fast asleep, oblivious to his surroundings.
She coughed loudly, and Snape grunted, rolling over and warily opening one eye. My cue.
She stepped back then ran and slid in along the stone floors, posed like the king, Elvis Presley.
She pulled her black hairbrush up to her mouth as Snape sat up on one elbow, staring in perplexity and shock, still half asleep.
She drew in a breath and, under the Sonorus spell, started singing at the top of her lungs. "You ain't nuttin' but a hound dog! Cryin' all the time... You ain't nuttin' but a hound dog, cryin' all the time!..."
Snape sat bolt upright, almost falling off his bed. From down the hall, several screams and hollers could faintly be heard against her loud voice.
"You ain't nuttin' but a hound dog, and you ain't no friend of mine!..."
Artimis suddenly rushed into the room, dripping wet and a towel wrapped sloppily around her, "What the Hell is going on!"
Alexis ignored her and sung the chorus over, as loud as she possibly could. She heard, no felt, pounding footsteps racing towards the guest room and her little show. Among them was Remus Lupin. He stood staring at Alexis, singing into her hairbrush, and sighed, rubbing his temples.
Artimis quickly stepped forward, nearly slipping in her own puddle of water, and snatched away her hairbrush. Alexis stops, glared at her, and snatched it back. Artimis held on and a tug-of-war fight over the psuedo-microphone commenced.
"Give it... here, Alexis..."
"No!... I'm not finished, yet..."
"Yes... you, are..."
Suddenly, Alexis stepped back, stepping on her own white cape and stumbling, crashing into Artimis. Artimis slipped in her growing puddle of water and also fell back, Alexis sprawled atop her.
Alexis took the brush out of Artimis's stunned grip, and turned on her back to resume singing.
Artimis shoved her off, and quickly stood, realizing her soaked towel is now lying in a heap on the floor.
She looked to Snape, who was turning bright red in embarrassment, as Artimis dove down for her towel. Snape angrily reached for his wand on the desk next to his bed as Artimis quickly wrapped her towel around herself. Artimis stood over Alexis, standing intimidating in just a towel. "Alexis WHYTE! I was in the middle of a shower! Severus was SLEEPING! This was uncalled for. I'm sure Snape did not want to see me buck naked in his room. You are a dead woman." She yelled as she grabbed hold of Alexis rhinestone sleeve. Alexis struggled and punched Artimis in the arm. Artimis, infuriated, leapt on Alexis totally forgetting her clothing, or lack there of. She gripped Alexis's arms, sitting on her stomach. "Stop it NOW! I am in no mood!" Alexis squirmed over the floor trying to get away but Artimis simply grabbed her wrist and slammed them on the floor. Draco yelled "Cat FIGHT!" as Lupin rushed forward and separated the girls. He quickly undid his cloak and wrapped around Artimis, who nodded and glared, walking out of the room. Aaron walked forward and grabbed Alexis by the arm. He dragged her out of the room as Snape sat there in his bed looking at everyone else, which just shrugged and walked away. Aaron dragged Alexis to his room and sat her on his bed. He paced his room, rubbing his head glaring at Alexis under his hand.
"Look! I know you don't like him here, no one really does, but he is still human and your elder." Alexis crossed her arms upset at being reamed by Aaron.
" I don't like him. He has always been mean to me."
"Well you better get over it because we have two months with him and this kind of thing will not be accepted. Do you realize that Artimis just dropped all her modesty in front of Snape because of your prank. My guess is she is so embarrassed she may not be able to look him in the eye!" Alexis thought on this a moment and felt kind of bad.
"I didn't mean for that to happen"
"I don't care Alexis! It did happen. You are supposed to be second in command around here, but you are acting like a little child. If you are going to be a bitch at least do it at your age level!"
She smiled and replied "Sure. Can I go. I'd like to get into some normal clothes."
Aaron nodded and opened his door and Alexis stormed out, fuming cause Aaron had no right to yell at her. She went into her room and screamed angrily. Then she turned on her music loudly and relaxed to the violent tunes vibrating her body smiling at the thought of Snape's shocked face.
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Severus was sleeping after a filling breakfast. He thought he herd his door open but simply pushed the thought aside for the comfort of his bed. He rolled over in bed and heard a loud cough. He opened one eye to see a person dressed in white. Then he heard Alexis start belting out Elvis at him in a loud echoing voice. He sat up quickly noticing she was dressed like Elvis in a white rhinestone jumpsuit, decked out even with cloak. He heard people yelling and resisted the urge to cover his ears simply because he knew she would sing louder. Next thing he knew Artimis ran into the room, skidding to halt. She was soaking wet and had a bit of suds in her ebony hair. She stood in just an emerald towel and Snape gulped. He watched everyone else pile in his door and he glared at them. Artimis snatched the brush Alexis was using as a microphone and that triggered a tug of war fight. He saw Artimis fall and Alexis topple over her. Next thing he knew Alexis was singing and Artimis was standing with her back to him, butt naked. He blushed and turned his head, seeing his wand on the table. Angry at these events he grabbed it and turned to see Artimis back in her towel yelling at Alexis. She bent to pick Alexis but it seemed that Alexis hit her and Artimis went flying down on the ground after her. There was yelling and scrambling that he could not see over his bed but he heard Draco Malfoy's comment and saw Remus pick Artimis up and wrap his cloaks around her. She dashed out of the room and Aaron grabbed Alexis and dragged her away. Everyone kind of stared at Snape and left. Lupin stayed after everyone and cleaned up the water Artimis had left. He left and closed the door behind him. Snape sat in bed in utter shock. "Either that was the weirdest dream in my mental history or I am going to kill Alexis. A slow and painful death, beginning with making her watch every Elvis film ever made and ending with her falling over dead from fear or something." He mumbled to himself as he got up and decided to take a shower. I need to get out of here... Alexis is going to kill me or give me a heart attack... although both sound good right now.... He thought as he closed the bathroom door and locked it.
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Lupin was in the midst of putting away the last of his unpacked clothes when he heard a booming voice drifting through the house, coming from the second story guest room. He quickly jumped up and raced out the door, vaguely recognizing the voice and the song.
Let's see...early in the morning... loud... Elvis Presley... I think I already know.
He saw a crowd outside Severus's door and pushed himself through to view Alexis, dressed as Elvis and serenading to Snape into her hairbrush. He sighed. It would figure.
To his confusion, Artimis was yelling at her clothed only in a towel. Should I be surprised?
A brawl broke out and he chuckled, reminiscing back to their school days when Artimis would probably be doing the same thing as Alexis. Time changes a lot... He stared at Alexis. Well, maybe not everything.
Artimis seemed genuinely perturbed, while Alexis was having a blast. He suppressed a laugh, going over the detail of her Elvis costume, right down to the large shades the old singer used to wear. Then things started getting rough. Lupin blushed profusely, similar to Snape, when Artimis lost what little covering she had as she struggled for dominance over the rebellious Alexis.
At first, Lupin refrained from interfering, convincing himself that Alexis needed the reprimanding.
Then he saw Severus reaching for his wand in anger and Artimis practically smothering Alexis.
Yep, time to break it up.
He quickly rushed forward and pulled Artimis off of Alexis, covering Artimis with his cloaks.
After the event, he walked back to his room, shaking his head. This is going to be a long summer.
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The guys all sat in Harry's room, the door locked in parseltongue so Snape or the girls could not enter. Harry stood up and asked above the talking men, "Are we going to take him with us, or leave him for the women to deal with?"
Ron frowned and stated, "Why should we have to take him, Artimis is the one who wants him here."
Draco nodded and replied, "Besides, he would be a drag and none of us would have any fun!" All the guys nodded in unison and grabbed the portkey out of the house, smirking at their evilness.
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Artimis sat in the living room reading a book quietly. She had been there all day and didn't want to see anyone until tonight. She figured the guys had left so she put her book down and went upstairs to change. She walked into Alexis who shied from her slightly. "Oh come on, after knowing me for so many years do you think I am going to kill you?"
Alexis smiled and said "No, I guess not. Better get ready, It's Ladie's Night, uh hun yeah, If you hear any noise it aint the boys, It's Ladies night..." Alexis broke out into disco dancing and Artimis laughed, joining in.
"So I take it the guys left?" Artimis asked. Alexis stopped and nodded. "Good, let me go get ready and you go get dressed too." Artimis said as Alexis dashed up the stairs to her room. Artimis walked by Snape's room humming when she glanced at him walking back and forth reading. She stuck her head in his door, "Um shouldn't you be gone?"
"Why do you ask that?" He said stopping and looking up from his book.
"Didn't Draco tell you?" Artimis asked panicked.
"Tell me what?" Snape replied severely confused.
{Alexis, we have a Problem! Get the girls down here pronto}
(Please don't tell me they didn't)
{Fine I won't tell you.} Artimis said as Snape stared at her. "Um Severus, This is sex night-" He looked at her affronted, "The guys go out and have a Boy's Night, and the girls go have their Ladie's Night." Snape sighed in relief as he realized sex night meant the same sex all hung out. Alexis, Hailey, and Hermione rushed up behind Artimis and moaned. "Just like those assholes." Hermione stated and Snape looked taken aback. Hailey nodded and replied, "We could just leave him home." Artimis turn and shook her head no. She grabbed Hermione and Hailey and whispered in their ear and they frowned. "Excuse me but what is this all about." Severus asked confused.
They looked at him and replied, "We can't leave you home but we have plans to go out. So we have to figure out a way to take you with us."
(I have an idea)
{Well spill}
(Your not going to like this...) Alexis said looking Snape up and down with a scrutinizing eye.
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Alexis was walking down the stairs yet again, head low at the thought that she would have to toughen up and apologize to Artimis.
Hell if I'm gonna be stuck with the bookworm and the wimp on Ladie's Night.
Alexis looked up and came face to face with Artimis. Instinctively, she flinched, unconsciously waiting for the blow. Artimis looked at her with affection and slightly offended. Alexis listened to her comments and smiled, feeling slightly foolish.
So, that's settled.
She left to get ready, then heard the slightly disturbed voice of Artimis in her head.
No, please not him, not now... hold on a minute... ooohhhh.... hehehehehe.
She listened to the conversation with the left behind Snape as she meticulously looked through her closest even though she was already dressed and ready to go, and smirked as she went through some of her gaudier outfits. Then she went rushing down to join the girls and carefully studying Snape's form.
When Artimis was finished, Alexis informed she had a great idea on how to take Snape along, though she knew full well Artimis would not be happy about it. Neither will Snape, but that's the fun of it... God I love being evil to him.
Alexis maneuvered around the girls and grabbed the door handle to Snape's room. "Excuse us a moment." she spoke overly polite as she pulled his door closed.
She grinned evilly and Artimis watched her warily. "Well, we could take him along for Ladie's Night... after a few subtle changes. Anyways Artimis, you yourself said he couldn't leave without a disguise... and I don't know about you guys, but I don't trust him by himself alone in this house..."
"Quit rambling and spill!" Hermione said impatiently. Artimis was already catching on and her eyes widened in shock.
"Fine, we could dress him up like a lady. It wouldn't be too difficult..."
"Minus the fact that we have to convince him!" Artimis spoke for the other two now silent, open-mouthed women.
"Maybe we don't..." Alexis said slyly, rubbing her chin evilly.
"I'm not ignorant to what you concoct in that lab of yours, I know you have something..."
Artimis smiled and looked at the other girls, "Ok. But we have to try and ask him first. If that does not work then Alexis, you and these two hold him down, I'll pour it down his throat."
"Me hold HIM down?" asked Alexis, thinking about the size and strength difference. Artimis shook her head and gesture to Hermione and Hailey , who were still in shock. Suddenly Hermione smirked and said, "Either way I'm calling Colin. We need pictures of this."
Hailey smirked and replied, "Priceless!"
Artimis breathed a deep breath and opened the door to his room and the girls all walked in. He was sitting on the leather couch in front of his fireplace reading. He looked up and asked, "Care to tell me what's going on?"
Artimis sat down beside him and smiled slightly, "Well, you see we have plans tonight and the guys were supposed to take you out to Boy's Night. I was ordered by Dumbledore to not leave you alone. But two friends of ours are coming into town tonight. We can't cancel on them and we all are going..."
"Can you please tell me where this is going?" Snape sighed rubbing his head at her dragged out explanation.
"You want to know, fine! The only way we could take you with us -cause we sure as hell aren't leaving you here alone- is if you dress up like one of us. A Woman. There, so what do you think?" Alexis blurted out, impatient and eager to see his reaction.
Artimis grimaced as he jumped up offended and yelled, "Absolutely NOT! There is no way that I will ever cross dress just so you can go out."
Alexis looked at Artimis and asked, "It that good enough for you?" Snape looked at them with questioning and Artimis nodded. Alexis nodded back and sighed dramatically, she looked discreetly to Hermione who was behind Snape now, then, without warning, leapt straight at Snape, hitting him in the stomach. Stunned and taken by surprise, Snape stumbled back and tripped, grasping Alexis's shoulder roughly as he fell to the hard floor.
"A little help here!" Alexis yelled as Snape yanked her to his side, pinning her also to the ground.
Hermione dove down and pulled Snape's hands off Alexis and back, pinning them to the ground with her knees, as Hailey pounced and landed on Severus's legs. Alexis got up and plopped down on his stomach. He exhaled in pain and cursed under his breath, trying to breathe again. Then he started struggling with all his might, and Alexis lay across his chest, trying to hold him down with her weight.
She quickly glanced up at Artimis, who was holding back laughs. "Damnit! Get the bloody potion! Unless you want to get down here and hold him..."
"Accio Impluseonus Potion!" Artimis yelled as she watched Severus's eyes grow wide in fear and knowing. He struggled and yelled to be let go. Alexis laughed and held him down as the potion floated to Artimis. Artimis kneeled by his head, "We offered you to do it willingly. But we are not missing the opportunity to see Erica and Vicky." Snape glowered at her and quickly closed his mouth tightly. Artimis threw her head back in laughter and held his nose, she had dealt with her own nephew for medicine time, and this was too easy. Severus held his breath for as long as he could and then he finally opened his mouth for a gasp of air and she poured it down the back of his throat, her left hand caressing his throat to make him swallow. He choked and spurted, biting down on Artimis's hand. "Pay back for all those years ago!" He hissed as she drew her hand back.
She lowered her face over his and asked, "Well then how did I taste??" She smirked, her face mere inches from him. She watched the defiant part of him recede and her relaxed. "Ok guys, let him up. Hermione you have skin and nails. Alexis help with nails. I'll tame this mess of a head of hair. Hailey he's more of your build, raid your closet, Alexis get accessories and footwear hurry we've got three hours." They all nodded and Artimis lead Snape to his bathroom. "What are we doing." He asked, looking about.
"Lean over the tub. Close your eyes." Artimis said as he complied. She turned on the warm water and pushed his head under it. She summoned some shampoo and scrubbed it into his hair. He wiggled and she told him to stop. She rinsed the shampoo out and went for the conditioner. She rubbed it in and grabbed brush dragging it through his hair with him screaming bloody murder. She finally got most of the knots out and rinsed the conditioner out. Alexis walked in and handed her a towel and she towel dried his head. Then she had him sit backwards on his toilet as she blow-dried it. After much brushing it became soft and silky. Artimis looked at Hermione and stated, "He's all yours. Work your magic!" then she took of and took her own shower.
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Alexis and Hailey walked side by side up the stairs, discussing what outfits and colors would suit the Potion's Master best.
"Well, I think anything black, silver, or even a deep blue would look great on him." Alexis stated casually as they entered Hailey's room. She opened her closest, and frowned," Don't have anything blue that would look good on him though..." she muttered, pulling aside some outfits. Alexis thought a moment then spoke," Hold on, I'm going to check out Artimis's closest real quick. Don't think she'll mind to much..."
She quickly ran down stairs, leaving Haley to contemplate over the great question: Skirt or Pants.
Alexis burst into the room and rummaged through Artimis's nice, neat closet, throwing several pieces to the floor. Oh, well. This is a fashion emergency.
She smirked when she found what she wanted.
It was a silk silver shirt, gussets along the sides to show off a flat stomach and gathered at the top to show off breasts. The sleeves were long and flowed into large open ends. It had laces down the front to adjust the cleavage shown. Damn it Artimis your holding out on me.
Grabbing it, she jumped up and ran back up the stairs to Hailey's room. She entered and held up the shirt to herself, spinning around. "How 'bout this?"
Hailey's eyes lighted up in amusement but then she frowned, "Alexis, Snape doesn't have breasts."
Alexis smirked evilly and lowered the shirt. "I know a few spells to change that..."
Hailey stared at her, laughing hysterically.
"You find what he's gonna wear? It would be hard for him in a skirt, though I 'd love to see him walking in one."
"Naw, these I think will fit him better." Hailey pulled up a pair of black pants. They had roses embodied on the bottoms of the flared leg, the stems and leaves beaded in light green and the roses were red beads. Alexis smirked and stated, "Perfect, now for accessories.... Come Hailey to the WOLF DEN!" Alexis said going into batman stance. They both laughed and headed to her room.
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Hermione could not believe that she was doing this. It was her job to make Professor Severus Snape look feminine. This was like any woman's dream especially anyone who had wanted to embarrass Snape as much as her. All those years of calling me a know-it-all... Payback is a bitch and there are four of them... She thought as she lugged her make-up case on to Snape's bathroom counter. She made him face her and she tipped his face at all angles with his coal black eyes following her. She quickly pulled out a compact from the bag that she ran and grabbed when Artimis washed his hair. She smoothed the powder along his cheek bones and it made his eyes lustrous. She drew out some of her eye shadow compacts and held them up to his face determining if they would work. She quickly grabbed a light bluish green and gently dabbed it on his eyelids. He watched her with interest. I can't believe he is this calm... Can't wait till Colin gets here... She quickly put mascara on him making his lashes long. After applying the eyeliner she went to his lips. First she traced them with a light beige color lip liner and them put dark champagne on his lips. The contrast made them fuller. She stepped back to admire her handy work as Artimis walked in drying her own hair with a towel. "Amazing.... Here is some moisturizer. " Artimis said handing her a bottle. Alexis and Hailey walked in with the clothes. "Um Artimis who's dressing him?"
Artimis smacked her forehead and replied, "He can dress himself."
"Oh, alright, here's the clothes." She said handing her the pile. Artimis noticed her shirt but bit her lip not wanting to ruin this perfect occasion. She handed Snape the clothes and Hermione came out of the bathroom. After another hour and a long fight about breasts, Snape was ready to go. Artimis was too so she waited with him while everyone else rushed off to get ready. "Ok, Severus, when we are out we are going to call you 'Sevannah' ok. You have to answer to that." She smiled and Severus returned it. His usually angry voice was cheerful as he replied, "Whatever you say Artimis."
Hermione walked in dressed up in tight jeans and a button up blue blouse, followed by Alexis in a bluish cammy shirt and black flared jeans with blue flames running up the pant legs. Artimis stood in her green silk blouse with a deep v-neck and a black suede skirt with matching belt. There was knocking at the door and Alexis went to get let Colin in. He walked in and began snapping pictures. Everybody grabbed Snape and the posed in front of the stairs before they took a portkey out of the house. Colin went with them and the night had begun.
HEHEHEHE! I would like to say that this was sooooo much fun to write!!!