Chapter 5: Disclaimer Contest Winner: Mirithorn. I will continue searching for a new winner for the next chapter. Say, did I forget to mention that a contest existed? Yeah? Oh, okay. Well, email me your disclaimers, or put them in a review. I might use any I find around.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in the this story. Unless by own you mean pwn, in which case I own all of them.

Warning: As I wrote this, I realised it hinted at Starbuck/Baltar. I in no way intentionally supported this pairing. It was just something for her to think about while she got lost.

Sorry again about that last chapter, and if this one is too short.
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"Well that was odd." Dr. Jackson said after Dr. McKay left. "Would anyone want to get him or shall I?" "I'll get him." Starbuck interrupted. She felt that the man deserved a stern discussion about the fact that she honestly was not at all attracted to geeks. Or to anyone whose name started with Doctor. Baltar was a real jerk. He just pretended that nothing had ever happened between them. Well, two could play at that game, and as a result no-one ever brought up the fact that she had frakked the doctor. She shook those thoughts out of her head. Why did she even care? The guy was a perv. At least the rest of her former 'boyfriends' took more notice of her afterwards. She just figured she was insulted. She looked around, and wondered where she was going. She seemed to have gotten lost. "Ah frak" she said, quietly. "May I help you?" She turned around. Dr. McKay looked at her. "I'm supposed to be the one looking for you." The woman said. What was her name? It was some type of store. He settled on Macy "Well, Macy, I seem to have found you first." He replied. "First, it's Starbuck. Stop smiling! Second, I'm taking you back to the briefing.." She responded. "I'd rather not" "Too bad." She was really losing her temper. She wanted to just punch the guy. "But for you, I'd go to the end of the earth." That did it. She looked around. No one seemed to be looking, and there weren't any cameras in the hallway. She punched him, feeling her hand connect with his nose. The nose offered no resistance. It was satisfying to punch something. "Ow! Wud da hell was dab for!" He yelled. She had just punched him! No warning, no provocation, nothing! "She's tryink to kill be!" He yelled. he touched his nose. It was bleeding. He fainted. He woke up in a sickbay of some sort. Had it all been a dream? No, this didn't look like the Atlantis infirmatory. Then again, it didn't look like the Stargate infirmatory either. "Where ab I?" That settled it. His nose was still broken. Definitely not a dream. Dreams don't hurt after you wake up. Except for that one that he had when he was about three. But that was because he had fallen out of bed. "My nobe! My nobe hurts! I tink id's infecteb! I'm goink to die! And I haben'd eben seen my famiby agaid!" "Do ye even have a family?" Was the responce he heard. He looked up. "Oh thang Gob dogter. Whub habbend?" Becket looked at the poor man. What an embarassing thing to happen.
"You were punched in the face by the girl you were hittin' on."
"I knobe thad you ibiod. Why ab I here?" Beckett sighed. He had been transferred, himself and the woman from Stargate Command, Dr. Something-or-other. He had a terrible mind for names.
"Myself and Dr. Beckett were transferred temporarily onto the Galactica, to help with the wounded as best we could. Major Cottle" Dr. Fraiser nodded at the man in the corner "Did the best he could, but three doctors are better than one."
She had heard some strange rumors on the Galactica about Dr. Cottle, but didn't have any of them confirmed. He evidently proscribed 'medicinal herbs' called Kamala, similar to Marijuana to help save the colonial president for as long as he could. She wondered if she would have done the same.
"Web, I demand and abobokegee" Dr. McKay said sternly. He probably hadn't been listening.
"A what?" Carson asked. He understood McKay clearly, but he wanted to have a little fun. The man was too uptight anyway. He deserved to be laughed at a bit.
"An Abobokegee" McKay said.
"I'm sorry, I can't understand a word yer sayin'" He said.
"An ABOBOKEGEE you ibiob, you ninkomboob, you infebier human beink"
"I'm sorry, are you speaking a different language? I can get Dr. Jackson in here if you want." Fraiser interjected.

"No, debibintlee nob. I demand an abobokegee from Sdarbug"
"Who?"
"Starbuck!"
She looked over her shoulder. She was in the Galactica brig. Again. (A/N, I just realised something. Is it just me, or did Galactica's brig expand, like, twice it's size between the miniseries and the show? Starbuck barely had room to do pushups in the miniseries, and I think Doral complained of claustrophobia, but in the last episode I saw, the brig comfortably fit six people.)

This time because she'd punched an idiot scientist in the nose.
"Yes sir!" she snapped to attention. The commander had personally come down to talk to her this time.

"Were you aware that this was a diplomatic mission?" He asked. He looked upset, like this was definitely not the time for frakking with his mind. She could either be sarcastic, or sincere. As usual, goodness hardly put up a fight.

"Yes sir," she replied smiling "I punched him in the most diplomatic way I could think of."

"I'm not in the mood for games, Lieutendant." He said. This was getting tiring.

"Sorry sir, we'll just put away monopoly shall we?" This technically was an option, she had just been playing with Sharon. Apparently it was quite a popular earth game. She couldn't understand why. Sharon had very nearly put a 'hotel' on every place in the board.

"Very funny lieutendant. But I do want to know why you punched that man."
"Let me see, shall I list alphabetically, or by order of importance?"
Boomer laughed. She sured missed Starbuck's company. What of it she could remember, at least. She always had something to say. Six appeared next to her. She could see her, she was a cylon, after all. Starbuck had probably figured that there was some cylon presence aboard the ship, but she couldn't be sure.

Six leaned over. "Are you listening?" Boomer nodded silently. "Good. You will attack Starbuck." "I will not." She hissed. "I trust her too much." This may have worked with the water tanks, but she'd be damned if she let it happen again. "I'm afraid you don't have a choice." The Valerii model had always been stubborn. It frequently disobeyed orders from it's superiors. Namely Six. Six usually just let it ignore orders. Only when she felt she had an important plan, would she use the device. It sent out a frequency to the nearest cylon, causing them to do the imprinted command, in this case attack Starbuck. The device didn't actually exist in the real world any more, not for her at least. Only the senior Cylons were allowed to use it. Not models like Valerii. She needed this to work. Starbuck had taken out more Cylon raiders than most of the other pilots combined. Six pressed the button. But too late, Sharon had already warned Starbuck. "Look out Starbuck!" Starbuck turned around, just in time to see Sharon trying to hit her with a pipe. She grabbed the woman's hand, twisted it around her back, and kicked her onto the floor.

"Frakking Toaster Bitch!" She spat at the Cylon.

Boomer, Tyrol, Helo, A pair of Pegasus security guards, and the guy who Tyrol and Helo killed.