Title: Par Avion
Author: Jane Morrison
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Post Ep for Election Day II
Disclaimer: They will forever be Aaron Sorkin's to me.
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A/N: I can't seem to stop writing J/D angst, but in light of the recent events, I guess it would be hard to bring any funny. This takes place right after Election Day II.
Par Avion
You stare out the window of the plane, seeing only darkness. You think, this is the last trip we'll ever take together, and I can't even talk to him. You wish you could talk to him...you need to talk to him...about so many things, about the campaign, about the election, about what's ahead, about her. You feel empty inside and your head throbs from exhaustion, from sorrow, from a loss too horrible to comprehend. Your throat aches so badly you can barely breathe, and you wish you could turn back the clock, make it all go away like a bad dream.
But it's not going away, and you know it. Your heart is breaking, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. You try to wrap your head around what a life without him will be like. You wonder how something this tragic can happen on a day when something else so incredible happened. You marvel that a person can go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in the course of just one day.
You lean your head back against the seat, close your eyes. You know you should sleep, but you don't think that will happen for a very long time. You try to erase the images...his glasses, his watch, his unfinished crossword puzzle, and his shoes, dear God, his shoes. He didn't even get to wear his shoes. You feel a sob rising from your chest just as she sits down beside you, covers you with a blanket, gives you a glass of water and two Advil. You take the water, swallow the pills, and look at her. You see her pain, and you realize that she's hurting, too. In your grief You've forgotten that, and you've let her be the strong one, your rock. You wonder how you could be so selfish.
You whisper, "How are you doing?"
"I'm okay."
But you know she's not. You caress the side of her face. "I'm here, Donna. I'm here for you, too, you know."
You watch as she bites her bottom lip to stop the quivering. You see the tears spring to her eyes. "I'm going to miss him so much, Josh."
You nod and lift the blanket for her as she moves closer to you. You put your arms around her, kiss her forehead. "We'll get through this, Donna. We will."
"I know. It's just so sad. He'll never know..."
"Oh, he knows. He knew. He knew long before either of us did."
"Do you really think so?"
"I do." She raises her head up then, looks at you with so much love in her eyes that you want to weep again. And your heart and your body fill with desire and you want her right here, right now. You want to feel her as close to you as is humanly possible. And then her mouth is on yours, and your hand, under the blanket, lifts her shirt, finds her breast. She pulls away a little, but you tell her it's okay, everyone else is asleep. You just want to kiss her. She smiles a little, puts her hand at the back of your head and pulls you to her again.
Later, when you're in your own house, and your own bed, you make slow, sweet love to her and you believe, truly believe, that with her by your side anything is possible. And you finally tell her, after all these years, what's really in your heart, and she cries. But they're happy tears and you have to smile because you swear you can hear him say, "You finally got it together, kid. Good for you."
The End