Chapter 2: Where's Kenshin?

(Hi, all you crazy people who like crazy fanfics. There's a special guest star in this chapter, so look out for him! Not that you could really miss him…)

Kenshin wanders the streets, wondering vaguely where he was. He missed talking with the pixie, (the sandal) whose name was Gin, but he couldn't stand being with those annoying, arguing people that acted as though they knew him…

He walks through the market, still muttering in Spanish under his breath, getting weird looks from people who didn't know Spanish, and even weirder ones from people that did. Suddenly, something catches his eye. It's a big, new, round…(you guessed it)…washtub. Kenshin's practically salivating. Washtub… He walks over to the stall selling the washtubs, and picks it up, turning it in his hands, admiring every detail, checking for any faults. It is perfect.

"You gonna buy that?"

Kenshin looks up to see a very large…woman…glaring at him from behind the stall. He opens his mouth, and then realizes the predicament he's in.

"Uhh…this one doesn't have any money…" (He's now speaking Japanese)

The woman leers at him. "You wanna do some laundry to pay for it?"

Kenshin's eyes light up, and he nods briskly. He follows the woman to a colossal, fantastically putrid pile of the most revolting laundry in the history of civilization. Kenshin's nose starts to bleed. He sits down and begins scrubbing away in earnest.

Sanosuke, Amarante, and Kaoru all leave the dojo to search for Kenshin. They would search for Yahiko too, except they don't really care. After all, as Amarante put it, "If we find him while we're looking for Kenshin, then we've found him. And if we don't, who gives a damn?"

The three of them decide that the logical place for Kenshin to be would be the marketplace, so he could buy another washtub. Then again, with Kenshin's current train of thought, (Ha! Train!), who could trust logic?

At the market, Weasel Girl-sama joins them. Her speech is slightly inhibited by some cheap Easter chocolate she bought 50 off at Eckerd.

"Ah shuggess oo try oer shere." She swallows the chocolate and tries again. "I mean, I suggest you try over there." She points to a stall selling washtubs, managed by a large, rather mannish woman. Amarante and Sano look at each other, then shrug, while Kaoru goes to talk to the woman.

"Excuse me, but have you seen a short, red-ha…"

The rest of her question is cut off by an excited scream from Weasel Girl-sama:

"SEPHY!"

Sephiroth had been wandering the streets, wondering why he was suddenly in early Meiji Era, Japan, when he heard someone yell his name. Or, something like his name.

"SEPHY!"

He groans, because he recognizes that voice. It's HER. He wants to run, but before he takes even two steps, a very excited, and surprisingly strong Weasel Girl-sama tackles him from behind. He pries her off him slowly and stands up, brushing himself off. Weasel Girl-sama remains sitting on the ground, looking blissfully up at Sephiroth. He glares down at her.

"If you do that again, I'll slash you."

"NO YOU WON'T!" She cries joyfully, and jumps on him again, sending them both into the dust all over again.

Meanwhile, Kaoru has successfully retrieved Kenshin, who was rather reluctant to leave the washing. She returns to find Weasel Girl-sama missing, but then is informed that she is just talking to an 'old friend'.

Sano watches Weasel Girl-sama and 'Sephy' with a pout on his face. "I don't get it," he finally says. "I thought Weasel Girl-sama liked ME."

Amarante frowns at him. "What about me? I like you. What do you want, a freakin' fan club?" To which Sano mutters something that makes Amarante kick him in the back of the head.

"So what are you doing in Japan, Sephy?"

Weasel Girl-sama is leading Sephiroth over to the rest of the group. He glares down at her, because she's too short to glare up at. (I'm actually not that short, but in comparison to Sephiroth, everyone is short.)

"You should know, you're the author of this stupid story, and therefore, you must know everything that goes on here."

Weasel Girl-sama rolls her eyes to the sky, in a 'strike me down now' type gesture. "I'm just trying to make conversation."

"Then stop trying."

"Why do you always have to be such a cold-hearted bastard?"

"I'm not ALWAYS… just most of the time."

"I give up. You're hopeless."

"Does that mean you're gonna shut up now?"

"No. What's up with you, Sephy? You talk differently now. You used to always talk about The Reunion, and punishing the humans and stuff. What happened?"

Sephiroth begins to mumble, "Aerith tried to summon Holy, to counter Meteor, and my plans were foiled. But I killed her. And Cloud killed me. And everyone lived happily ever after, the end."

"That sucks… but… if you're dead, why are you still alive?"

"Because people want me to be alive, so I can't die. Aerith's alive too, even though I killed her."

"What people want you to be alive?"

"Oh, you know… throngs of adoring admirers, fanatics, devotees, fangirls …probably even some fanboys."

"Is that because they think you're a girl?"

"WHAT! NO, it's because I'm so beautiful, and they WISH I was a girl."

"You're much more conceited than before, too."

"I have reason to be."

They've now rejoined the group. After everyone had been introduced, and Sephiroth had looked over the women with a critical eye, and glared mistrustfully at the men, including Kenshin, even though he isn't really sure if he's male or female, everyone decided it was time to go home. Before the author had a chance to make anything else weird happen.

(Chapter end! Yay! Are there any Sephy fans out there? I mean, reading my story? Wait, no one DOES read my story… sigh Next chapter preview: A little 'Guy talk' with Kenshin, Sano, Yahiko, and, of course, Sephy! Plus, a cool car that really doesn't fit the times or the country, but I don't care! )

COMING SOON: Chapter 3: I Have No Idea What The Title Of This Chapter Is!