Chapter 3: I Have No Idea What The Title Of This Chapter Is!
Sephy…
Sephiroth groans and rolls over.
…are you asleep…?
Something is poking him in the forehead.
Wake up, Sephy.
He opens one eye. Weasel Girl-sama is standing over him, patiently poking him in the forehead. "Are you awake now, Sephy?"
He opens the other eye. "Stop calling me Sephy."
"What should I call you?"
"Sephiroth is fine. So is, Rightful Owner Of The Planet, Lord Sephiroth. Or, Badass, Incredibly Sexy, Pimp Sephiroth."
"You're very strange, Sephy. You're not a pimp."
"Heh, heh, if only you knew. Err, did I say that out loud? I did, didn't I?"
"Yes, you did."
"Damn. Remind me next time not to say things that I don't want you to know."
"How am I supposed remind you not to say things you don't want me to know, if I don't know what you don't want me to know because you don't want me to know them?"
"I have no idea what you just said."
Weasel Girl-sama sighs. "Never mind. I just came to tell you, that you'll be spending most of the day with the guys, because Kaoru, Amarante, Megumi, and I are going out. Amarante and Megumi decided to call a truce for the day, so they wouldn't be fighting the whole time. I'll see you later."
Sephiroth groans again as she leaves. Maybe he'd just go drive around in his car for a while. People in the early Meiji Era didn't have cars, so there wouldn't be any traffic. Yay. That also meant no one to appreciate his magnificent car. Oh well.
Sephiroth proceeds to dress himself. He then went to his sleek, salient sports car. There, on the window of his beautiful, black Viper(Can't you just imagine that? A black Viper is perfect for Sephiroth!), Weasel Girl-sama had placed a sticky note, which read:
Hey, Sephy-
I know you probably don't wanna hang around with the guys, and will most likely want to go diving in you're car. Well, forget it. You've got hardly any gas left, and there aren't any gas stations in early Meiji Era, Japan.
Have fun with the guys! Heh, heh.
- Weasel Girl-sama
Sephiroth pulls the note off the window and crushes it in his fist. Then he carefully examines the window of the Viper to see if the sticky note has left a mark. It hasn't, and Sephiroth climbs in, because he can go a little way, having some gas left. He glares in annoyance at the gas gauge before starting the engine.
After realizing there was nothing to see, Sephiroth returns to the dojo. Sano, Kenshin, and Yahiko(who had reappeared mysteriously in the night) are all standing around, and watch as Sephiroth drives up. Sephiroth gets out of his Viper.
"Funny… I'm a character from a predominately Japanese game, developed by a predominately Japanese company, and yet I drive a big American sports car…"
Sano looks amused. "Hmm… a big sword and a big car… You're compensating for something, aren't you, Sephy?"
A blood vessel twitches in Sephiroth's temple at the adopted nickname, but he answered calmly. "No, actually my package is quite large, thank you. In fact, it's so big, that I have to use the sword as comparison, so it will seem smaller."
This confuses Yahiko. "Why would you want it to seem smaller?"
"So women will not think it's to big to fit in."
"That was… much more than I wanted to know."
"Oh… I am sorry. I'm afraid that I am not familiar with Japanese ways."
"I don't care where you are, you just don't say stuff like that. It's… disgusting."
Sephiroth glared at Yahiko, before whipping out his sword and slicing him in half. Sano and Kenshin dodge the huge blade. Kenshin looks shocked.
"You just killed Yahiko!"
Sephiroth glares down at Yahiko. "He'll live." He growls.
"YOU SLICED HIM IN HALF!"
"Don't blame me- the author likes to kill off Yahiko. YOU killed him in that other story she wrote."
"This one didn't mean to!"
"Sure you didn't. You know you hate him like everyone else does."
Sano looks surprised. "How did you know we all hate Yahiko?"
Sephiroth smirks. "It's easy to tell. How could anyone like him? He's so goddamn annoying."
Kenshin cries, "How would you know? You just met him!"
"Point being…?"
"THAT IS MY POINT!"
"You're annoying too. What's your name?"
"Himura Kenshin. Why?"
"Hmm. I'll have to remember to put that name on my 'death list', I mean, 'annoying people list'. Yeah. 'Annoying people list'. Not 'death list'."
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?"
Kenshin, Sanosuke, and Sephiroth all turn to see Kaoru, Megumi, and Amarante standing in the doorway, looking at the lifeless Yahiko. (Weasel Girl-sama got bored and went home) Kaoru clapped a hand over her mouth.
"Oh Kami-sama, my only student! Megumi, can you help him?"
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, he's kind of… how can I put this… CUT IN HALF!"
Then Sano added, "And he wasn't you're only student- what about that kid in Germany… what's his name… Yutaro?"
Kaoru blinks. "Hey, you're right. Wow, I guess we don't really need Yahiko after all… Oh well. No one really liked him anyway."
Everyone nodded, except Kenshin, who was in denial that he had disliked someone who wasn't evil.
(Hi! Chapter end! This was much shorter than the others because I got bored of this chapter. If you people want to read the story Sephy mentions, its called 'Yahiko's Birthday', and it was the first fanfic I ever wrote. It's a one-shot piece, and it ends fast, but oh well. It's still one of my favorites. I hope there isn't anyone who read this and got offended because I killed off Yahiko, and they like Yahiko. Oh, who am I kidding, NO ONE likes Yahiko. Personally, he's probably my least favorite character. But then again, I hate Kenshin too… hmm… Whatever.)
COMING SOON TO A COMPUTER NEAR YOU: Chapter 4; Yet another chapter of this stupid fic!