Me: (pops up unexpectedly) HELLO!
Ariel: (lets out a squeak and jumps on the ceiling fan)
Me: Oh crap, I have that going on 'high' too.
Ariel: (barely clinging onto a fan blade) HELP ME!
Me: Ehhh, no. (begins filing her nails) Don't own nothing. Don't forget, Lemon in this chappie.
A couple days later, everyone was considered fit to get out of the hospital and go back to school and-
"WHAT!" Nikki yells at the narrator, "WHAT THE HELL KINDA PUNISHMENT IS THAT!" Kaoru bops her across the head.
"Punishment is given where punishment is due Nikki. Now c'mon!" Kaoru drags a swirly-eyed Nikki offscreen.
Ahem, as I was saying, they were considered fit to go to school-
"JAIL!" Nikki shouts.
-and were sitting around, eating what the school calls food. Everyone was just chatting and having a good time, Sanouske with a ketchup stain on his white shirt from when Nikki threw a french fry on him for calling her Sex Kitten again. They were talking about the drama club and the upcoming auditions for their next play (Me: this will be corny, I know, but it's one of my favorite movies) Phantom of the Opera.
"I think Kao would be a good Christine." Nikki says, giving her friend a playful punch on the arm.
"Yeah, bullshit." Kaoru hits her back, "I'm not innocent enough."
"Yeah, well I am seriously thinking about going out for the part." Battousai, Sanouske, and Aoshi get a good laugh out of this.
"I don't think you quite meet the qualifications." Battousai says, "For one thing, I doubt you can do opera."
"Yeah, and don't you have to be a virgin too?" Sanouske adds.
SPLAT!
Another french fry connected with his shirt.
"NIKKI!" Kaoru yells, "STOP THROWING MY FOOD ON SANOUSKE! DUMP YOUR DAMN CHICKEN BROTH ON HIM NEXT TIME!"(Nikki's still on a liquid diet. Remember?) All of a sudden, Candy Shop by 50 Cent in ringtone form began playing. (Me: My friend Amber (she's in Key West now) had that one her cellphone. It was hilarious)
"Oh shit," Nikki fumbles with a flip phone that has a white cover with her logo on it, "Sorry guys, it's only for an emergency." She brushes some bangs out of her eyes and puts the phone up to her ears, "Hello?...WHAT! YOU'RE SERIOUS? You're not joking are you?...well, okay. Listen, don't go on any missions kay? Oh, and stay away from alcohol...and stuff high in fats. Yeah, I know...oh, and alfalfa sprouts...and that YooHoo chocolate drink that you're obsessed with...oh, and Ella, don't forget about the beer in the vegetable crisper. What? I am not obsessing!" Spatial and Kenshin look at eachother with confused looks, "Well okay, I'll visit right after school...OH MY GOD! I AM SO EXCITED! Yeah, take care. Bye!" Nikki flips her phone shut, a huge grin plastered on her face.
Lemon begins here...
"Kenshin?"
"Hai?"
"Can I borrow your coat?"
"That you may." Nikki grabs Kenshin's coat and lets out one HUGE, LONG scream into it.
"Thanks. Kenshin?"
"Hai?"
"Can I borrow your food?"
"Uhhh, sure?"
"Sweet!" Nikki takes a little yellow fruit known to us as a lemon and squirts it in Sanouske's eyes, "I've wanted to do that ever since lunch started."
Lemon Ends Here...
Me: AHAHAHAHAHA! HAD YOU FOOLED! You people thought there was gonna be that lemon in this chappie. HA!
Ariel: (bops me across the head) That was not only mean, but pointless as well.
Me: But there was a lemon, so I wasn't lying. HAHAHAHA!
"Nikki, what was that all about." Kaoru says. Nikki turns around, an even huger grin on her face. Kaoru's eyes widen and she scoots away a little bit, taking her "food" with her. After a few moments of silence...Nikki explodes.
"ELLA'S PREGNANT! I'M GONNA BE AN AUNT!" she lets out another squeal and grabs Kenshin and hits him right on the kisser (she kissed him in other words)
O.O (Everyone)
"Um...congrats...I guess?" Nikki hugs Battousai.
"Thanks Batts-kun!"
"OH MY GOD!" Spatial crushes Nikki in a hug, "THAT IS SO GREAT! I'M SURE THE BABY WILL LOOK JUST LIKE YOU! CONGRATS NIKKI! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO NAME IT!"
"GAAAH! SPATIAL! STOMACH! REMEMBER! AND WOULD YOU STOP ACTING LIKE IT'S MY BABY!" The bell rang.
"SWEET FREEDOM! GYM!" Nikki bolts out the door.
AFTER SCHOOL, AT THE HIROTE FAMILY MAFIA HEADQUARTERS...
"Yo! Luna! What's up!" Nikki yells, waving hi as they walked into the medical headquarters, with everyone in tow.
"Hey guys!" Luna walks up and slaps a high-five with Nikki. Everyone's attention turned toward a group of people who were shrieking with laughter at a joke some guy said. All of a sudden one of the guys started crying in pain and everyone in that group laid him down on the front desk.
"SOMEONE GET THIS GUY SOME WATER!" one nurse yells.
"WATER MY ASS!" another guy in that group yells, "BRING THIS GUY SOME PEPTO BISMOL!" They see something bulging up out of the guy's stomach and all of a sudden, a small alien bursts out of his stomach and begins hissing. The guy lifts his head up and down at the alien.
"Oh shit," he says, "not again." The alien jumps out on the front desk and lets out another mean hiss. It then smiles and puts on a little hat and takes out a cane. Music starts up out of nowhere and the alien begins can-caning across the front desk...singing
Alien: (as it can-cans) Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my rag time gal
send me a kiss by wire, baby my heart's on fire!
If you refuse me, honey you'll lose me, then you'll be all alone!
So baby telephone, and tell me I'm your ooooooooowwwn! (It's what that one frog sings on Looney Tunes)
And then it jumps off and runs away.
O.O (Everyone)
"That is messed up."
"Well Batts," Luna smirks at the growl he gave her, "It's our third this week."
O.O (Everyone)
"SWEET PEA!" Auriela unexpectedly glomps Nikki from behind.
"Ella! No jumping!" Ella laughs and gives Nikki a noogie.
"I told you that you were obsessing."
"ELLA! THIS IS MY FUTURE NIECE/NEPHEW WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE!"
"Fine. If it'll stop your worrying, I won't jump...too much."
"Good." Luna walks up and slaps a gun into Nikki's and Battousai's hands.
"Luna, what is this for?" Nikki asks.
"I need you to shoot some bullets for me."
"Oh shit," Nikki looks down at her nails, "I just filed them too. And why me?"
"Because you're the best damn gunner in the whole mafia, and you know it. So don't give me any shit about it."
"Eh?"
"Take it like this Kenny boy. You're little girlfriend (insert growl from Nikki here) can shoot a moving target in the vitals fifty yards away."
"Psha, so?" Battousai asks.
"Without aiming. And no automatic-pointer-thingie either."
"Now that's something."
"Damn straight."
"But I do prefer bow and arrows to guns." (Nikki)
"Shut up, nobody cares."(Battousai)
"Now I feel pathetic." Spatial begins to mope.
"You wanna feel really pathetic?"
"Sure, why not." Nikki wraps one of her arms around Spatial's shoulder.
"We have a seven year-old who can hack into anyone's computer, even the government's computer systems."
T.T (Spatial)
"SISSY!"
"And there she is." A small silver-haired girl with red highlights and emerald green eyes runs up and hugs Nikki. Nikki laughs and bends down so she can hug the girl and then picks her up, resting her on her hip.
"Hey Shannon. How are ya?"
"I'm fine. How are you sissy? Hi Auriela!"
"Hello Shannon."
"Sissy's fine." Nikki rubs her nose against Shannon's, "And how's Nii-san?"
"Nii-san's fine. He went to visit you a few days ago...but he said you disappeared." (Have you figured out who Nii-san is yet? Nii-san is "brother", by the way)
"Excuse me, Nikki?"
"Yeah Kao?"
"Two things. One, who is Nii-san? And two, why does she call you Sissy?"
"Nii-san is Derek, and she calls me Sissy because I've babysat her so much, we are like sisters."
"How cute! I'm Kaoru, Shannon, nice to meet you." Shannon giggles and shyly hides her head in Nikki's shoulder.
"Nikki-dono? You like children?"
"Yep Kenshin." Nikki hoists Shannon up a little bit higher on her hip, "Absolutely love em. In fact, I hope to have one or two in the future." She looks at Kenshin and smiles.
"I like your hair." Shannon says, grabbing at a lock of Kenshin's hair(and who wouldn't wanna do that?). Kenshin laughs and takes Shannon in his own arms and pulls out his ponytail, letting her play with his hair. (It's cute if you picture it)
"Luna-san?"
"Yes sweetie?"
"I checked Nii-san's computer for you." Luna winces, pain suddenly coming back to her neck, which the bandages were hidden by a black turtleneck.
"Can you tell me later sweetheart?" Shannon nods and lays her head on Kenshin's shoulder, falling asleep. Kenshin laughs and sweatdrops.
"She does that," Nikki softly takes Shannon from Kenshin's arms, "I'll just go put her to bed. Meet me out at the shooting range you guys."
Me: God...Don't worry folks, I should get another chappie up soon, seeing as I have Monday off from school too. I don't think I'll be able to update as much seeing as I now have Quiz Team practice after school. (We participate in Quiz Bowls and smart people competitions...) Don't yell at me, my teacher signed me up, saying that it's wrong that I won't do that. Stupid teachers. Anyway, REVIEW RESPONSES! (glomps the reviewers)
Chigiri Ikeda- I'm glad your mother enjoyed the guide and didn't find it too offensive. Truth be told, I was kinda worried about that! And I am sure it was a very nice GUY you drew. Ciao.
Lady Inari- I hope you liked the guide. And I hope your parents liked it as well. Arigato for reviewing!
Reignashii- (stares blankly at you, then at her chapter, then back at you) Well I wish you'd explain it to me. I hope your parents enjoy the guide. Bye-bye! See (or read, to be technical) you in your next review!
Spatial-chaaaaan!- NO YOU MAY NOT THROW DARTS AT DEREK! I already have one girl who wants me to inject radioactive waste into his bloodstream. Yeesh. And you think I wanna die! I still have to watch Naruto too! Which is on tonight! WOO! And I hope your mother enjoys the guide. P.S. tell me what you'd like for your Mafia logo, it HAS to have a rose in it. Sorry.
anim3angel143- Guten Tag!(bows) Danke schon Fraulein! (Dunno about the spelling) Ich freue mich, Sie zu seheh! (Note: This is German)DUDE I KNOW! Though I'm not a dude, hence the Miss in my name. But like me, you probably call everyone dude. And someone's hyper. Very hyper. GOD PERSON! WHAT DID YOU EAT!
Evil-chan- No, not younger siblings...older. I only have an older brother. Of course, had all my mom's children survived, I would've been the fourth out of five. That would've been chaos. But it is fun to torture siblings! One easy way to annoy my brother is watch Phantom of the Opera on the computer while he's playing video games and not wear headphones. LOL I do that just to piss him off. (Rereads your death description) If he got shot, wouldn't he basically be dead? And wouldn't it be pointless to do all that other stuff then? And if you shot radioactive crap into his bloodstream and he had cancer, that would cure it. Blame my bro and my mom. They told me all this crap. There's more they found, but it would take up two pages to type it all.
Universal Fighter- You should know to never be scared of me. Heh, heh. My parent don't give a damn what I do really, lucky me. It's only my bro but when he gets on my case, he gets in trouble. LOL Listen, if your dad and bros are like this now, imagine what they'll do when you bring your first b/f home (unless you already have) to meet the family. HAHAHAHA! I can just imagine that. Don't worry about Luna, she's an immortal. She can't die.
blueangel-maggie1723- Naoko: (grabs Lou by the wrist, just as she's about to karate chop her, punches her in the stomach, and then flips her on her back like a rag doll) Angel: NAOKO-SAN!
Naoko: What! Self defense people. Me: This was actually her going waaay easy. If she went easy on Lou, Lou would've been burnt to a crisp. I still cannot believe how many people want me to shoot/torture/inject radioactive stuff in his blood stream at Derek! God! What is the deal! And...YOU SUCK! I've always wanted to go to a Green Day concert! Devil: Why can't the world just die? Me: Excuse me, I have to work on self-esteem issues. Oh, and I hope you got the pic of Setsuka alright. I think she looks purty!
inuwofl04- I'm glad you like Luna...she IS cool. (Does a small jig) BYE! (waves)
Me: And as I've said. WHAT THE HELL IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND WANTING ME TO KILL DEREK! You don't tell me to kill Enishi! YEESH! Anyway, R and R.