Disclaimer: I still don't own it. If I did…well let's just say I wouldn't waste my time with this.

A/N: NEW CHAPTER! La La La…I'm finally going to make Maureen have her baby now. But it's not going to be easy…I'll tell you that much. Okay…that's all I have to say for now so…

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Two weeks later it was announced that Adam could finally come home. Mimi, was still not doing as great as could be hoped, and they decided to keep her in the hospital for a little while longer. Leaving Roger alone to take care of Adam most of the time. Which led to Roger usually being found at Mark and Marli's, because he couldn't stand handling Adam alone. Mark figured it wasn't because he couldn't stand it; it was more because he had no idea what to do.

Everyone lived in the same building now, so they had all become regular fixtures at either Roger and Mimi's place, or at Mark and Marli's. It had become fairly normal to be in the middle of taking a shower or feeding a baby and just have a random person stumble in so they could help. It was actually great, for all of them. But Mark was especially happy about it for Roger. The poor guy was completely baby-inept and left to take care of his newborn son while his wife was still in the hospital.

Today…was a fairly usual day. Roger had come over bright and early at six AM, just as Mark and Marli were heating the twins' bottles, to get help on heating up Adam's. They of course, helped him out, even though they knew eventually he'd have to learn from himself. But they gave him a break; he was all alone and had only been doing this for a few days. At least he had finally mastered having to change a diaper. That had taken his a while. When he arrived at the door holding Adam, they let him in, as they had every morning for the past three days since Adam came home.

"Hey Roger," Mark greeted holding the door open. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I visited Mimi again, with Adam yesterday after I left here. They finally decided and could see her and everything, which was a load of shit if you ask me, but whatever. The doctor said she should be coming home in two days if all goes well, but she'll still have to rest a lot. You should've seen her with Adam, though. She was more alive then I've seen her be in a long time."

"Well that's great she's going to be coming home soon, buddy. If you need anything, just let us know man." Mark patted his old friend on the back, then grabbing Blair's bottle and picking her up. He sat down and started to feed it to her.

Marli handed Roger Adam's bottle, which she had already taken the liberty of heating up. "Thanks. I don't know how I'll ever repay you both for all you've done these past few days…and even weeks when Adam was still in the hospital. I feel so bad having you guys helping me like this and you getting nothing from me."

"Don't worry about it. You men are hopeless with babies anyway; it's the least we could do. Besides, that's what friends are for, right?" Marli sat down next to Mark, feeding a bottle to Riley. Mark looked down at Blair, whose eyes were closed sleepily as she sucked on her bottle. He smiled.

"I guess. Thanks for everything. I think I'm going to visit Mimi in a few hours. But they told me not to bring Adam today, so would you guys mind watching him? If it's a problem I can always see if Maureen and Joanne will do it, but obviously, I'd rather trust my son with you guys."

"It's no problem. And besides, Maureen and Joanne will probably be here soon anyway. Maureen's been itching to complain about how it sucks to be a week and a half past her due date. So we're probably going to be listening to her. Just do what you've gotta do. You obviously need to visit Mimi. You've barely seen her since you've brought Adam home." Marli protested to Roger, giving him a stern look that Mark had only seen when he had done something that she considered wrong.

"I know, I know. It's terrible. But thank you. Thank you so much. I don't know what I would do without you guys."

"Don't worry about it." Mark put Blair's empty bottle of the coffee table. She was now asleep, once again.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and in walked Joanne and Maureen. "Hey everyone!" Maureen was very loud, especially for 6:45 AM. Blair stirred and Mark hoped she wouldn't wake up again. She wasn't the deepest of sleepers and he was sure Maureen would wake her up.

"Maureen, whisper. Blair's asleep!" Mark whispered, trying not to move the baby around.

"Sorry. So guess what? Being pregnant sucks!"

"I'm guessing this means you haven't even come close to going into labor yet?" Marli seemed very distressed. Well that was nice of her, feeling compassion for Maureen.

Joanne who was sitting next to Marli leaned over and said, "Pay up, bitch!" That was when Mark realized what was going on. Joanne and Marli were betting on when Maureen would have the baby. And it seemed that Joanne was keen on keeping her girlfriend in misery. It was completely sadistic and wrong…but also quite funny.

"Well, I think you're going to have the baby today!" Marli glared at Joanne, daring her to bet again. "Double or nothing," she mouthed so only Joanne could see her. Joanne nodded and Marli turned back to Maureen.

"You think? Well I hope so! I made Joanne take me to the doctor's yesterday. He gave us a bunch of things we can do to make things go faster."

"And we've done all of them…" Joanne seemed very annoyed with Maureen.

"But one…"

"Sorry Maureen, but you know I can't help you out with that one."

"What is it?" Whatever it was, it had to be better than sitting here listening to Maureen bitch and watching his wife and Joanne bet on Maureen's misery.

"Sex."

"Oh, wow. Well…you can borrow Mark! Mark's good! But, um, I'm sure you know that…just a suggestion." Mark couldn't believe Marli said that! What a nerve! What did she think he was? Honestly, all she cared about was winning this little bet with Joanne.

"Um, no thanks. Not that I don't love you Maureen, just not in that way. I'm kind of married…"

"Whatever, Marky. It's not like I was going to say yes. Although, I am quite miserable…"

"No, Maureen! Stop trying to guilt him into having sex with you! Remember what happened last time you did that?" Oh, way to rub salt into old wounds Joanne. Bravo! But that wasn't why she did it. She gave Marli a death look and Marli returned the look.

"You're sadistic! I bet you like to see me miserable! I hate you…Joanne! You don't deserve to be called Pookie anymore! You're so mean and you want to see people in pain for your own sick pleasure! You know what? It's no wonder people don't like you!" Maureen had gone into full-fledged bitch mode. Mark wanted so badly to put Blair and Riley back in their room, but he had to keep on listening.

"Okay, whatever Maureen. I'm sure you really mean all that stuff. Besides, Mark said himself that he wouldn't sleep with you. Even if it meant you could finally stop driving us all insane at…seven in the morning."

"Well, Mark isn't the only option. I could always ask Keith. I bet he would do it for me…or there's always Roger." Maureen turned to Roger and put on her best pout. She clearly wasn't thinking about everything that could happen if she slept with Roger.

"Um, Maureen, no way am I going to sleep with you. You see, I'm married and I also have a very fatal illness that, last time I checked, was sexually transmitted. Sorry, can't help you out." Roger looked very awkward and uncomfortable as he said this, something he rarely ever was or had been in his whole life.

"Ugh, you all suck! I'm going to call Keith, since he's nice and will have sex with me in order for me to have the baby." She waddled off to the kitchen and picked up the phone. "Hey, Keith. It's me, Maureen…no, I'm not in labor. Yes, Joanne has taken me to the doctor…well actually, that's what I called to talk to you about. Yeah, they gave me some tips…how did you know? Yeah, Joanne obviously can't help me…oh could you? Keith, you're so amazing! I'm actually a little bit jealous of how amazing you are…sure you can call me back. Bye." Maureen waddled back over. "See? Keith is nice and going to help me out. You are all evil! The end!"

"Whatever, Maureen. It's for your own good!" Joanne was still being stubborn about it…oh well.

"Well I think it's really good!" Way to encourage her, Marli!

"You would."

Three hours later Roger left to go visit Mimi and Maureen had left to go meet Keith. Joanne decided to stay at the apartment to help with Adam. Marli understood this to be because she didn't want to go wait in a living room while Maureen had sex with the sperm donor of their baby, in order for her to actually get the baby out. Yeah, that wasn't a weird situation at all! Whatever, Marli was happy. She was so about to win back all the money she bet with Joanne.

This whole betting thing…it had started innocently enough. Joanne had been helping her with the babies one day while Maureen was on a bitching spree and Mark helping Roger prepare for Adam coming home the next day. Joanne had been feeding Riley a bottle and telling Marli how sick and tired of Maureen's complaining she was. Marli then said that she bet Maureen would have to baby the next day. Joanne asked how much she was willing to bet, and that was how it all started. Now the bet was renewed each day, double or nothing.

She really shouldn't have been betting to begin with, but she was compelled. But it had presented itself and well, Marli was never one to turn down a bet. She happened to really like betting about things, always had. It was really a wonder she had never became a gambling addict. She just liked to bet with friends about random stuff. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all. Just the fact that now she was betting on another friend's misery with that friend's girlfriend. There was something kind of wrong with that. You think?

Whatever. This was quite fun. "Marli? You realized you said Maureen would be in labor by now?"

"Did I?"

"Yeah, so pay up. I believe its $250 now, right?" Joanne held out her hand.

"Fine." Marli took the cash and put it Joanne's hand. Then the phone rang. "Hello? Oh hey. Yeah, leaving now. Bye!" She went back to Joanne. Ha, she could win, she could so win. "You know, I bet she'll be in labor in a hour. Double or nothing."

"That was Keith wasn't it? Maureen's in labor, isn't she?"

"Damn, you're good!"

"I know, right!"

Mark took them all to the hospital, minus the babies who were staying with Marli's mother. Adam was going to spend time with his parents in the hospital. Mimi had wanted to see him again anyway. The doctor said Adam could visit today because Mimi was going to be allowed home the next day anyway. She was doing much better.

Everything the way it was, messed up as it was, was going well. Maureen was going to finally have that baby. Mimi was finally going to leave the hospital after nearly three weeks. This was good. It was really good. And Mark was really happy. All his friends were happy, so he was too.

They said goodbye to Roger and Adam, who headed off to visit Mimi and went to Maureen's room. When they got there, Mark tried in vain to suppress his laughter. She looked so helpless and definitely not at all like the Maureen he knew. Ha, let's see how long this whole helpless Maureen thing lasts!

Turns out, it wouldn't last for long. Only eight hours later (stupid bitch didn't have a short labor at all. He had to deal with Marli for eighteen hours.) She had a little boy. They were called in to see her holding the little thing. He looked just like Keith, which relieved Mark. No way in the world was that kid his. Not that he didn't know it would be Keith's all along, he had very little doubt. It's just seeing that the baby looked like Keith (and hearing the paternity test results) definitely settled the little doubt he had. He loved the fact that there would be no deep dark secrets to hide from his daughters. Just imagine what would happened if Maureen's baby had ended up being his too and one of his girls had a crush on him…not a good thing to have to explain to a teenage daughter.

"What's his name?" Marli was eager, as was he. He did kind of want to know what the name was. He just hopes for the sake of the poor kid, she didn't name him something odd like Americus or something equally as bad. The woman had always been quite eclectic…it wasn't a secret.

"His name is Ryan Cooper Pierce-Johnson." He really was a cute baby. And at least Maureen had given him a normal name. Joanne didn't even seem mad that they had only put Keith and Maureen's last name in there. The name was still very long. He actually pitied the poor kid for never being able to write his name without getting carpal tunnel syndrome. But he did have a cute name, that's all that mattered.

"That's such a cute name, Maureen." Marli looked at the baby. He had auburn curls already, just like Keith, and Mark was pretty sure he's have the same green eyes. "He's beautiful."

"Thanks. Do you want to hold him?" Maureen held out the little boy and Marli took him.

"You're so cute. Yes you are. You are going to have the girls knocking at your door. All the pretty girls will want to date you. Yes, they will." Marli cooed to the baby. Mark then realized it was a possibility that Blair or Riley could end up being one of those girls. Which wasn't too bad when he thought about it. One of them could date Adam, the other could date Ryan. Then they'd keep everyone together. It worked.

"Well what if he's gay?" Joanne couldn't help but say it. It was possible. They say that every awkward silence a gay baby is born. There have been a lot of awkward silences lately.

"Well…then all the hot guys, even the straight ones will want you. You'll be a regular Casanova, no matter what." She handed the baby back to Maureen.

"We have to go. There's only so much of the twins Marli's mom can take, you know?" Mark laughed. "See you all tomorrow!'

A/N: Okay, now I will get into the after part. It should be good. But if you don't review, you wont see it…so yeah, review! Oh and yes, I did semi-steal the induce labor with sex and betting thing from FRIENDS. What can I say, FriendsAmazing! And reviewslove. And I love you all. And you love me. And no, I do not like Barney. But yea, whatever.