Me: HI EVERYBODY! It's a little known fact, but in some state, it's illegal to make out for more than 5 minutes.
Ariel: That fact relates to this story...how?
Me: (blank stare)
Ariel: Nikki?
Me: (still staring blankly)
Ariel: Nikki!
Me: (yet still staring blankly)
Ariel: Alright, now that's scaring me.
Me: (still staring) Huh? (Looks up at Ariel) You say something? I was just plotting my revenge against Kagura for trying to stake a deal with Sess in this one episode of Inuyasha that I have yet to get over.
Ariel: -.- Forget it. I don't even wanna know.
At School...(Ariel: Gawd, do these people even get a weekend? Me: NO! RAWR!)
"It's quiet in this class..." Spatial says, slyly looking around the Advanced Bio room, "Too quiet. (Silence...3...2...1...)AH HA! NIKKI'S NOT HERE!"
(-.-) (The class)
"It's halfway into the period and she just figured that out? Incompetent human wench." Haru mutters under his breath. Of course, he was suffering Nikki withdraws as well. He missed his morning torture session.
"Hey Kenshin?" Spatial turns to Kenshin, whom she just realized was in this class too and sitting right beside her, "Where's Nikki?"
"Sessha let her sleep in, that he did."
SLAM!
A completely livid Nikki bursts down the door to the classroom, cracking the glass on it because she chose to wear heels that day.
"Kenshin...you...son of a...mother fucking...bitch..." she pants, "I...told you...to...wake me...up..." Kenshin smiles and sweatdrops.
"Nikki-dono, you needed your rest, so sessha let you sleep, that he did."
"DON'T GIMME THAT BULL! WHAT I NEED IS AN EDUCATION!"
"Miss Hirote, you better go down to the clinic."
"What! WHY SENSEI!"
"You said that you needed an education, you must be sick." Nikki stomps in mid rampage.
"You know what, for once sensei, you might be right. I must be sick."
(-.-) (The class)
"Sit your smart ass down Miss Hirote." the teacher sighs.
"Yes sir!" Nikki mock salutes him and walks to her desk.
"Now, to get to the subject we've been avoiding all the first week of this semester...reproduction: How it all Happens."
At the tail end of the class...
"...so, that is how reproduction occurs, in the most specific detail I can possibly give."
O.O (the whole class) No one made a peep. Not even Nikki or Sanouske made a joke about how the female model's boobs look like mosquito bites or how the male model's dick looked like a roll of dimes. Finally, one football player lets out a long whistle.
"We'll spend the last two minutes of the period recovering from shock." the teacher sits down at his desk and opens up a hunting magazine.
Two Minutes later...
The bell rings and the class bursts out, laughing their asses off about today's lesson.
"GYM! YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT GYM MEANS!" Nikki asks/yells, shoving her books in Spatial's arms and jumping on Kenshin's back, while he proceeded to carry her down the hallway walking alongside everyone.
"No Nikki, we have no idea..." Battousai says dryly.
"It means...HITTING GUYS IN THE BALLS WITH A BALL! WooT!" Nikki jumps off Kenshin's back and does a one-handed cartwheel right in the hallway.
"Someone is waaaay too happy for this." Kaoru mutters.
"What is it with her and hitting us in the nuts?" Battousai adds. When everyone got into the gym, they went wide-eyed. It was filled with gymnastics equipment.
"Why the hell is this shit set up? And what the hell did they do with our gym?" Spatial spits out.
"More importantly, why is there a guy instructing this class?" Nikki asks, staring blankly.
"That's Saitou, the biggest gay in the whole school. He's not interested in looking at girls Nikki." Kaoru answers flatly.
"So you're saying we have to worry?"
"Exactly Batts-kun."
"What did I say about that name?"
"Awww," Kaoru pinches his cheek, "It's a term of affection."
"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE P.D.A?"
"Wow Spatial, you rhymed!" Nikki drops into the splits and lowers her torso all the way to the gym floor. (You know the stretch where you spread your legs as wide as you can (no pervertedness please) and then bend down as far as you can)
"Nikki, don't start with me."
"Okay then." she stands up and lifts her right leg up so that her foot is pointing straight at the ceiling and grabs onto it. Everyone winces. Just watching her stretch made them feel the burn.
"Well, aren't ya guys gonna stretch?"
"Okay okay everybody!" Saitou calls, "Let's begin. No whining or complaining! If you bust a bone, not my fault. Clinic's down the hallway."
"I CALL BALANCE BEAM!" Nikki squeals.
"DUDE! WAIT UP!" Kaoru and Spatial run after her.
"Kewl! I need someone to help me!" Nikki puts both hands on the balance beam and, after flexing a couple times, slowly goes up into a handstand. She then does the splits while still in the hand stand.
"Miss Hirote!" Nikki bends her lower half and her elbows so that they were all in an almost parallel line and looks up at Saitou.
"Yo!" she yells back at him.
"Are you just going to do handstands all day or were you planning on using your feet as well?"
"Hey, Kao, Spatial, can I get some help?" Kaoru and Spatial help Nikki to sit down on the balance beam, "Couldn't I do both?"
"Fine whatever, I don't have the energy to deal with you right now." Saitou walks away.
"Yeah," Nikki says, doing a backflip off the beam, when Saitou was out of earshot, "Since you just got blown by our principal." Spatial and Kaoru chuckle at this comment.
"KAORU! SPATIAL!" Saitou yells over his shoulder. The stiffen up immediately. "Don't just stand there, get on that beam and do something!"
"Yes sir!" they say hurriedly. Nikki snickers and goes back to doing various handstands on the balance beam. All was going well until...
"OW! DISLOCATED GROIN!" Battousai yells hunched over in pain, clutching his 'man pride'.
"DISLOCATED BRAIN!" Kaoru yells back at him.
"Say goodbye to your two friends," Nikki says, in a Dark Helmet-ish voice(if you don't know who he is, then it's Darth Vader), "And I don't mean the raccoon and the gay rooster." (If you get it) Spatial slaps Nikki across the head and causes Nikki to loose her balance, fall out of the handstand, and fall flat on her back.
"Nice half-blood." Nikki looks up and sees Haru looming over her.
"What the hell! You aren't even in this class!" she yells, standing up. Haru smirks.
"I have a pass." he says, showing her a hall pass, "I missed your morning torture session."
"Well I didn't." Nikki says, glaring at him, "Now go flirt with Saitou. You know you wanna."
"Sure, I would. But you might get jealous."
"GAAAH! I AM GOING TO THE ONE PLACE WHERE YOU CANNOT FOLLOW AND PUSH ME EVEN CLOSER TO SUICIDE!" Nikki seizes Spatial's arm and drags her to the girl's locker room.
"Nikki...ow...I would still...ow...like to use...my...ow...arm...(whimper)...please." Spatial says, while she's being dragged. Once inside the locker room, Nikki releases Spatial and slams her foot into the nearest locker.
"Thanks for not kicking me." Spatial says, rubbing the newly forming bruises on her arm.
"GOD! I JUST WANNA CASTRATE THAT GUY RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!" Nikki screams, punching the same locker she kicked, putting a dent in it.
"Now Nikki, that's just not nice."
"NO! HE'S NOT NICE!" Nikki punches the locker again. Spatial grabs her friend and pins her arms to her side.
"Nikki, stop. Just stop before you demolish the entire locker room. Yes, Haru is an ass. But did you ever think that the reason he picks on you is because he likes you?" Nikki stops trying to wriggle her way out of Spatial's grasp.
"Where do you think we are? Kindergarten?" Nikki says sarcastically, "Guys don't do that anymore!"
"Well obviously he does! You should've seen him this morning! I thought Haru was gonna go into cardiac arrest he looked so dead!"
"Well it's nice to know that I'm only a form of amusement!"
"Now that is not true! Not true at all!" (Very Shigure-ish right here)
"How do you know! You aren't his only form of amusement!" The funeral march plays throughout the locker room, "Dammit! What now?" Nikki screams. She angrily flips open her cellphone, "WHAT!" she yells angrily into it. She pauses for a moment.
"Really?" she squeaks happily, "I'm gonna have a new second cousin in a few days? Are you serious? Oh my god daddy! That is so great? How's Celeste handling it? Oh my god that's so great!" her smile then drops like a dead fly, "No! You have got to be fucking kidding me! GRANDMA' IS COMING! DAD! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HER! Oh yeah, well one time we spent two whole hours telling a fish fork from a salad fork from a dinner fork! I NEARLY DIED! AND SHE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO FIND ME A NEW BEAU! Dad, if I see her one more time, I will go insane. Especially since I already have a boyfriend! Yes, yes, goodbye. Love ya too. Bye." Nikki slaps her phone shut and sighs. "Great, just what I need. First Haru, now Grandma being all up in my face about how a proper mafia heiress should act."
"Poor girl. Tell Auntie Spatial all about it."
"Don't think you're off the hook either, when Grandma sees you, she'll launch off with insults first, then she'll try to correct you, then she'll talk boyfriend options for hours on end."
"Dude, that would suck having a Grandma like that." Nikki looks up at Spatial.
"You have no idea."
Me: Misery loves company. Whatever. Review responses! Oh, and I might not be able to update for awhile seeing as I have the County Spelling Bee Monday, Science Fair Tuesday, and Confirmation Class Wednesday, so this is a busy week for me. Sorry! T.T I feel like I've let you guys down!
inuwolf04- XD Yes, it seems you did say it again! LOL. Wait, how am I gonna have to fight for Haru? Don't I already own him? o.0 The confuser is very confused.
tkdl- (salutes) Yes sir-ma'am-sir-ma'am! XD Thankies for reviewing.
Chigiri Ikeda- Let's keep this hushie hushie, but I think I might make a triangle, since everyone seems to think there will be one...And I personally agree with Spatial too, guys just aren't worth the trouble...
Spatial- Ah ha! Smart ass comment right there missy! And like I said to another reviewer, I might do a love triangle, seeing as so many people want one. BUT NO LEMONS! I only read them, not make them...And what's up with "And I thought we had just red blood"? What the hell does that mean?
Jade-chaaaan!- How bout I don't put it in my disclaimer and say I did! XD Kewlie about your Vol. 11...and as to your question, I have all twelve volumes that have come out and I have Vol.1 and Vol. 4 of the DVD...you hate me now, don't you?(sees Haru) MINE! (GLOMP!)
anim3angel143- Me: T.T Ryushi! I'm hurt! (Curls up all sullen in a corner) Angel: Nikki-chan is not the type of girl to bestow punishment for a simple mistake. She has too big of a heart for that! XD Devil: She may not...BUT I DO! MWAHAHAHAHA! (whips out a meat cleaver) Angel: DEVIL! NO! (Begins struggling with Devil in the background) Me: You didn't insult me. It was a common everyday-OH MY GOD! DEVIL! DON'T TRY TO HACK OFF ANGEL'S HEAD! As I was saying, it was a common everyday mistake. I COULD NEVER HURT ANYONE WHO'S SO KEWTE! (comforting hug) Now-ANGEL! FOR CRAP'S SAKE WOMAN! FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE! DEVIL! DON'T MAKE ME GET IN THERE! (jumps into the dust cloud fight) Devil: (inside the dust cloud fight) NO! YOU SHALL NEVER TAKE ME! MWAHAHAHA! Me: OH GIRL! YOU ARE FORCING ME TO GET UGLY! AND I AM NOT PRETTY WHEN I AM UGLY! RIGHT ANGEL? Angel: NO! NOT THE UGLY! (fighting...3...2...1...) (Dust cloud stops)Me: And yet again, I have conquered my dark side! (standing on top of Devil with one foot on her head and one on her rump, whilst holding the meat cleaver in a victory pose) Angel: (walking around all woozy) Yes...good...job...(falls down on Ryushi) Me: UWAAH! ANGEL! I'M COMING! Toodles, and remember, normality is a myth parents tell little kids to make the world make sense...