Disclaimer: I'm dirt poor. I can't afford to pay for all the damage caused by the characters in the HP universe. All credit goes to J.K.
The next morning, Rolanda awoke to the sound of rapping on her door. She first tried to blot out the noise by pulling her blankets over her head, but the unnaturally cold temperature nipped at her toes and forced her out of bed- at least long enough to find some socks and to shut the open window. The knocking got louder, and she heard Minerva's voice. "Rolanda, open this door right now! I know you're in there!"
"I'm coming, unknot your panties!" Rolanda shouted. She smacked herself on the forehead for not realizing that she could simply summon socks instead of wasting time actually looking for them. The knocking stopped for a moment, but it started again, this time louder and more aggravating until Rolanda finally made it to the door.
Instead of seeing only Minerva there, she saw Albus- and behind him, a very aggravated Severus Snape. "Good morning, everyone!" Rolanda tried to look chipper, but the thought of what was in store for her and Severus put a lump the size of a Quaffle inside her throat. She cleared her throat and as Minerva, Albus, and Severus bustled across the threshold became quite self-conscious about how she was dressed.
She summoned her robe and shrugged it on as everyone made their way to a seat- Albus and Minerva in comfy chairs opposite the fireplace, and Severus situated on the right side of a love seat against the wall near the two chairs. As Rolanda sat down next to Severus on Minerva's command and looked at her company she didn't feel so uptight about being in her pajamas- Severus didn't even have a robe!
Albus seemed to take pity on him and asked Rolanda's permission to start a fire. She thought about it for a moment, but before she even had a chance to answer Minerva already had a merry flame crackling in the fireplace. "As you recall from last night," Minerva started, "your behavior towards each other is simply deplorable and must be remedied as soon as possible." She sighed as Albus conjured up a tea tray and some biscuits. "Albus and I have devised a plan that will last for exactly one week unless your outlooks in regards to one another improves, in which case, you will have to endure over all of the breaks- including summer vacation- until you can get along."
Rolanda graciously accepted the steaming cup of tea from the Headmaster and watched Severus take his mug with a barely audible 'thank you' and a sneer. "Rolanda, please extend your right hand." Minerva's eyes twinkled with anticipation as Albus spoke. "Severus, please extend your left hand." Both complied, and Albus continued. "Join hands." As they did so, both Albus and Minerva started muttering under their breaths and circling their wands over Severus and Rolanda's hands.
After a moment, it was all over. "I don't feel a thing." Rolanda laughed. "When it comes to punishments, Minerva, you sure have dropped the bar since I was in school." She tried to pull her hand out of Severus' grasp, but he was unrelenting. He adopted a look of panic as he looked from his hand to the Headmaster, and soon joined in Rolanda's attempts to get unstuck. The corners of Minerva's mouth twitched upward and Albus' eyes sparkled as the two watched their colleague's futile attempts at parting. "Damn, maybe you haven't lost your touch!"
Severus snarled and his brow furrowed in concentration as he took his wand out and started muttering various countercurses. "I daresay you won't get any farther that way- the only way to be able to let go is to appreciate each other." Albus finished his tea, proffered his arm to Minerva, and the two left without another word.
"Damn you both to a life as a Muggle!" Severus barked as he threw his mug of tea at the closed door.
"Snape, be careful!" Rolanda shouted as she waved her wand in the general direction of the mess to mop up the spilt tea and glass shards. After about five or ten minutes she doused the fire and started to walk towards her wardrobe but once Snape caught on to what she was doing he stopped dead in his tracks.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"What do you think I'm doing? I'm getting dressed." Rolanda paused for a moment and realized what he meant. "Where do you think Dumbledore and McGonagall are right now?"
"Chances are they're either eating breakfast or getting dressed." Before Severus even had time to react, Rolanda pulled him to the newly lit fireplace and Flooed to Minerva's rooms.
"Minerva? Minerva, we need to talk right now!" Rolanda marched towards the bathroom door and was again stopped by Snape.
"What do you think you're doing, woman?" He hissed.
"Hold on a moment!" Minerva called. As she stepped out of the bathroom in a towel, Severus threw both hands up to shield his eyes and inadvertently jerked Rolanda back several feet, forcing her to crash in to a small coffee table and roll on to the sofa. The whole unfortunate predicament was not over, however. Severus, pulled along by the weight of Rolanda's falling body, landed on her legs and in an attempt to get away jumped over the sofa's back and landed right on top of a stack of graded papers, sending parchment flying everywhere. Rolanda, being pulled along like an anchor, also ended up over the top of the sofa and nearly broke her wrist when she landed next to Severus.
Minerva changed in to her emerald teaching robes with a wave of her wand and helped the two teachers up, laughing the entire time. "Are you alright?" She asked when her mirth subsided.
"Minerva, how am I supposed to bathe with this corvid idiot holding my hand?" Rolanda fumed.
"You both will simply have to work together, I suppose." Minerva replied with a hint of amusement in her voice. Rolanda stamped her feet in frustration and tugged Severus back through the Floo system to her rooms. She thrust her wand through the air so violently the comforter on her bed ripped in two and her wardrobe door cracked as it slammed shut.
Severus snatched her wrist out of the air with his free hand and said "Calm down! You're going to kill us both!" Rolanda glared at him, but her hand went limp and he continued. "If you had actually thought before you acted, then we might have stood a chance of having private showers- chances are McGonagall is on her way to tell the Headmaster about what happened and to convince him not to grant us shower rights!"
Rolanda fumed at him and said "So that was my fault. You seem to forget that if you hadn't hit me with that spell I would have left and we wouldn't be in this situation!" By the time she finished, she was at a near shout.
"And what about the 'present' you left for me?" Snape hissed. He tugged Rolanda to the bathroom and summoned a set of robes, then threw them on the floor near the shower. "Go ahead- take your shower!"
"Pervert." Rolanda growled as she picked up her clothes. She then dropped them and performed a simple Switching Spell, then glared at Severus some more. She sighed and said "We're both going to have to shower some time- well I am, at any rate. Are you allergic to soap or something?" He sneered at her, but said nothing. "My hair's going to end up bothering me eventually; it might even get to be as greasy as yours."
Severus dragged her to his rooms through Floo and Switched his clothes out as well. "I'm not going to subject myself to the embarrassment of being seen in public with you- even if it's only around the students and staff."
"Well that's too bad because I've got to supervise remedial Broomstick practice."
"I have three detentions today and I don't plan on being late- do you think that you could sit under my desk for eight hours?"
"No one else in this school is certified to supervise my class. Hope you can find a substitute on such short notice."
Snape was about to retaliate when Albus' head popped into view in the fireplace. "Ah, so you got dressed without a hitch. Minerva and I have arranged for any discrepancies in terms of your schedules." He handed each of them an individual slip of parchment and disappeared with a pop.
Rolanda and Severus stood silently- to the untrained eye almost companionably- until they finished looking over the schedule for the day.
Day one of Christmas vacation agenda:
8:00- 8:30
Breakfast in Great Hall
8:30- 10:00
Remedial Broomstick Practice
10:00- 12:45
Detention in Dungeons
12:45- 1:50
Lunch in Great Hall
1:50- 4:15
Detention in Dungeons
4:15- 7:30
Broomstick Maintenance
7:30- 8:35
Dinner in Great Hall
8:35- ?
Staff Meeting
Severus groaned and stomped over to his sofa, yet again forcing Rolanda to stumble and crash in to a coffee table. "Watch it!" Rolanda whined as she grasped her knee after sitting down next to him. She checked the time and said "Well, we missed most of breakfast- we can still get something from the kitchens before supervising Broomstick Practice."
"How do you expect to fly when we're bound together like this?" Severus sneered as he stared at the fire.
"I don't know, okay?" Rolanda replied in an exacerbated voice. She jumped up and pulled Severus along with her to the kitchens. When they got there, a lone House-elf greeted them and asked in its squeaky voice if they needed anything. "Erm, I would like a bit of toast, and Professor Snape here would simply adore any scraps of raw meat you may have laying around."
The elf looked confused, and Snape said "Toast would be fine." He jerked his left hand down and Rolanda went down with it, and in retaliation she stamped on his foot. He looked as if he might howl for a moment, but he regained composure as the elf returned with a tray laden with marmalades, jams, jellies, apple butter, cream cheese, margarine, and several different varieties of toasted bread.
Rolanda selected a piece of wheat toast and was about to put some apple butter on it when she ran in to a problem- she could only use one hand. "A little help, Severus?"
Severus sneered down at her and looked as if he were about to refuse when Rolanda started to squeeze his hand until the bones seemed as if they would break. Even as he spread the toppings on her toast, he looked as if he would rather have swallowed undiluted Bubotuber pus than help her. He then grabbed a piece of wheat toast and decided to eat it plain instead of asking for assistance.
"I wonder if we can switch hands, or if we're stuck like this." Rolanda wriggled her right arm as she spoke and earned a glare from Severus as they walked down the corridor.
"Perhaps we should be more worried about what to do when we get to the Great Hall- I, unlike some, have an image to maintain."
"You mean the image of the illegitimate and unwanted son of a manticore and vampire? You could just pretend that you are kidnapping me- that might even make you seem even more formidable."
"No, it would make me look like I had bad taste in women."
Rolanda veered her course to the right and increased her speed until Severus was forced into the side of a statue. At that moment, a seventh-year Ravenclaw boy was walking past. "Mr. Connelly!"
The boy stopped at the sound of Rolanda's voice, and she continued. "Mr. Connelly, why don't you go get your broom and help me with watching over remedial Broomstick Practice?"
His eyes widened and his jaw dropped for a moment before answering. "Yes, of course! When do I need to be there, Madame Hooch?"
"As soon as possible, it's starting in just a few minutes."
"Yes, Ma'am!" The boy doubled back down the hall and ran until he was out of sight.
Severus got up from the crouching position that he had assumed and glowered in the direction the boy ran. "I don't know how he managed to get in to Ravenclaw." Rolanda chuckled under her breath and shook her head. "Oh, shut up!"
The two got out to the Quidditch Pitch without further incident- probably because they decided to forgo conversation. "Mr. Connelly, right on time. Professor Snape and I will be monitoring you from the ground and giving you instructions, but you will do the actual teaching."
"Thank you, Madame Hooch."
Rolanda laughed. "I should be thanking you for doing my work for me!" A fairly small bunch of first, second, and third years were waiting on the Pitch as the teachers and student approached. "Remember, Mr. Connelly- these students do not show the same aptitude for flying that you did at their age, but they are eager and want to learn and improve."
"Yes, ma'am." The students all lined up in two rows of four at the sight of Madame Hooch and ceased all conversation until they saw her and Professor Snape sit down in the lower bleachers.
"Don't let them go any higher than twenty feet or so, alright?" She called as he ran to stand at the head of the two lines.
"Yes, ma'am!" He answered.
"Come back here." Snape ordered. He doubled back and Snape handed him a small earpiece. Rolanda was given one as well and they both wriggled the pieces on to their heads. Snape gestured to the students on the field and Mr. Connelly yet again ran to take his place at the head of their ranks.
"Testing, Quaffles and Bludgers. Testing, one two." Rolanda said into the air. "Can you read me?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Okay, my prodigal son, do you remember the first lesson?"
"Mount brooms and hover?"
"Exactly." The rest of Broomstick Practice went on without a hitch, and before moving on to the next activity Rolanda and Severus hung back to congratulate the student teacher. "Mr. Connelly, you certainly have a knack for teaching!" She was about to say more when she noticed him staring at her right hand. "Is there something wrong, Mr. Connelly?"
"No, ma'am." He continued to stare at her and Professor Snape's intertwined hands for a bit longer and abruptly turned and walked back towards the school.
"He didn't notice a thing; I hope that everyone else is asblind as he." Snape jeered as they followed him to the castle.
"So why don't you like him?" Rolanda asked as they entered the Great Hall. Decorations were already being put up for Christmas, including trees, banners, and mistletoe.
"What's to like? He obviously doesn't have any ability for any kind of comprehension in anything other than the physical arts and even then he lacks the ability to work in a group setting. You saw how he taught today- he only worked on an individual scale and there were several times when if not for your instruction a disaster would have occurred." Snape retorted with a frown.
"This is the first time he's done this before- don't you remember your first days of teaching? I'm sure that they were nearly identical to what happened today." Rolanda countered as the two avoided peculiar looks from teachers and students on the way to the Dungeons. She wriggled her right arm until Severus shot her a killing look. "What? Your palm's getting sweaty."
Severus opened the door to the Dungeons and at first Rolanda didn't see any students until her eyes properly adjusted to the darkness- and even then, there were only three people in the room. With a wave of his wand, Severus placed three cauldrons in front of each student and said "As you can all see, these cauldrons are filthy." Another wave of his wand produced brushes and cleaning solution on each occupied desk. "This cleaning solvent is incredibly dangerous, so you all must be very careful not to get any on your skin."
A small buzz of whispers from the three students regarding Snape and Hooch's hands being clasped together started. "Silence! Detention starts now." The two teachers sat at the front of the classroom and didn't speak until lunchtime.
"I'm not going to lunch with you." Rolanda said as she stood up and conjured up a cup of tea.
"Don't deny your feelings any longer, Rolanda. You know that you want to make our relationship public; I know that I do."
"Shut up," Rolanda snapped. "Let me think."
"It gets hard use your brain after years of little or no use, or so I'm told." In response, Rolanda grasped his elbow with her free hand and used her right hand to force his arm backwards until Snape wriggled free. The doorknob turned and came forward, and in reaction Snape forced Rolanda under the desk.
"Severus, are you busy?" Sibyl's voice called out, and Severus answered with a 'no'. The door opened all the way and shut again after the Divination instructor stepped over the threshold. "Oh, I'm glad." She sighed. "We need to talk."
Severus sat down and gestured to a chair sitting in front of his desk. Rolanda couldn't help but laughing until she received a harsh kick in the side. "About what, Sibyl?"
Sibyl sighed in exacerbation and said "About us, about our relationship." Tears were streaming down Rolanda's cheeks from the contained mirth by this time.
"I'm a bit confused- we aren't in a relationship." Severus said.
"Oh, but you want to be!" Sybil shouted as she pounced over the desk and started to madly and passionately kiss him.
Severus pushed her away, jumped up, and stood in front of the desk in hopes of blocking Rolanda from view. "Sibyl!" He shouted. Tears welled up in her buggy eyes and she ran from the room without another word.
Rolanda got up from her crouching position and said "Well that was an interesting experience." She laughed, and said "'Oh, but you want to be!'"
"You are not to speak of that to anyone, do you understand me?" He hissed.
"I'll talk to anyone I choose about anything I bloody well wish!" Rolanda retorted, and then picked up her tea, which had cooled to room temperature by then. "Stupid tea." She pulled out her wand and uttered a Warming Charm after slamming the cup on the desk. Severus gave her a curious look and conjured a bowl of soup for himself. "What?"
"Beg pardon?"
"What was that look for?"
"Nothing."
"Oh, right." They sat in silence until 1:50- the next detention session. Rolanda crawled under the desk on Snape's orders, but probably would have done so anyway.
"Settle down. You all should be grateful towards the fourth years that finished all of the work that I had lined up for all of my detentions today- instead of my going out of my way to find something for you all to do, you will be sitting in silence for the remainder of this period." He pulled out a book and placed it spine-down on the desk so he would be able to turn the pages when necessary. Although the period probably passed quickly for the Potions Master, it went agonizingly slowly for Rolanda- the only relief from the boredom of sitting at Snape's feet was pulling his leg hairs from time to time.
Finally, 4:15! The students filed out of the classroom and Rolanda jumped up with a relieved sigh. "That was fun, we should do that again some time! I-" She stopped cold at Snape's cue, and as she turned around she saw a student, Baley Grimm, standing in front of them. "Miss Grimm, you are certainly a sight for sore eyes."
Baley blushed and muttered something behind a shield of brown hair before turning and running out of the room. Rolanda sighed and Severus fumed "Fantastic. The implications of this incident alone are staggering!"
"She's a good girl, and a shy one at that. I doubt that she'll tell anyone of this." Rolanda tugged Severus to the Quidditch Pitch. "If it makes you feel better, no one will see us together in the Equipment Shed."
"What would make me feel better is for us to not be together at all." Snape jeered.
"Look, I don't like this arrangement any more than you do, but we can at the very least try to get along until either Albus or Minerva take pity on us and tear us from the shackles of each other's company." Yet again, Severus gave her an odd look. Rolanda fumed at him, but didn't say anything about it. "The Quidditch equipment is actually in very good repair; it just needs a bit of polishing up."
"I'm going to be stuck in a room full of broom polish fumes for three hours and fifteen minutes?" Snape asked with an incredulous look in his eye.
"As if your potions are any better for the lungs." Rolanda said as she opened the door to the Equipment Shed and flicked her wand to light the lamps sitting in the four corners of the room. "Unfortunately, the polish that I buy was developed in such a way that it looks best when used by hand as opposed to magic."
Severus sighed and plopped himself down next to Rolanda, who had gotten several brooms, a jar of polish, and two rags out; and the two worked in silence for several hours. Rolanda finally broke the silence that had settled over the two of them with "How are we going to negotiate the Staff Meeting? We never sit near each other."
"I'm sure that the Headmaster has thought of something." He answered stiffly.
"I suppose you're right."
Dinnertime arrived before they were done, but most of the students had their own brooms nowadays so it didn't really matter. Rolanda made herself a turkey sandwich and a glass of pumpkin juice, and Severus prepared a foul smelling liquid in a coffee mug that looked like a cross between collard greens and Polyjuice Potion. When they finished their meals, Rolanda doused the lights and they made their way back to the castle for the Staff Meeting.
The talking never seemed to end- just talk, talk, talk! Nothing at all interesting or engaging until Auriga Sinistra whispered to Trelawney about the new "seating arrangement" while staring pointedly at Severus and Rolanda. "Did you hear about the new staff romance?" Severus muttered to Rolanda while looking back at Trelawney and Sinistra. Rolanda squeezed his hand in appreciation.
"Thank you all for coming, and have a nice evening." Albus finally said about thirty minutes later. All of the teachers filed out of the staff room, except for Severus, Rolanda, Minerva, and Albus. "How was your day? Do you feel at all better towards each other?"
"No." They said in unison.
"Well, I am sorry to hear that." Albus sighed with a disappointed look in his eyes. "Minerva, would you fancy a game of chess?"
"That would be delightful." He proffered his arm, she took it, and the two walked out in companionable silence.
"Wait!" Rolanda cried.
The two turned and Albus asked "What?"
"What are we supposed to do about sleeping arrangements? I'm not getting into a bed with this thing." She jerked her head towards Severus.
"Come now, you two are both adults; you can handle sleeping next to each other!" Albus admonished her and left with Minerva.
Rolanda and Severus stood for a moment and without another word the two walked to the fireplace. "Where to, do you think?" She asked. Snape shrugged and scowled deeply as Rolanda wriggled her right arm again. He tugged her through the fireplace and into his rooms. "Should have known," she said.
Severus switched his robes with pajamas and pulled Rolanda to the bathroom, where he brushed his teeth and stirred a small brew sitting on his hearth before turning to her and saying "I imagine that you will want to sleep in your own bed tonight."
"If I'm not going to get any sleep then at least I can be comfortable." Rolanda sighed as she led Severus through the fire. She then brushed her teeth and switched her robes, then waved her wand over the damaged bedspread from that morning. "Well, uh…"
"Hm,"
"Yes."
"Perhaps you should try getting into the bed."
"I don't need your so called 'wit'!" Rolanda snapped.
"I'm just trying to help. Though I imagine that, what with all of the company you keep up here, you should be quite familiar with sharing your bed."
"Shut up Snape!" Rolanda shrieked. "Just because you're still a virgin doesn't mean that you have a right to cover it up with insults and a salty disposition!"
Snape took as large a step back as possible, seemingly horrified that she would say such a thing. He glared at her for a few moments, then gave her that same odd look from earlier and said "I would prefer if you changed the sheets- I personally don't want to drown in whatever body fluids that may be left over from your date with Bagman."
Rolanda smacked him. Hard. The edges of her vision began to blur, but she fought it off and stared angrily at him. Funny, she thought she saw a look of remorse on his face as her shoulders shook from contained sobs. "You simpering puddle of festering goat urine! How dare you say that!" How did he even know about their date in the first place?
"How dare I say that? How can you live with being the school tart? How can you strut around this school in those skimpy outfits you call robes and sleeping with every male on staff- and I'm sure some females, too." Snape stepped ever closer, his sonorous voice crescendo-ing from a low growl to a shout; his breath heating her cheeks until she just couldn't take it anymore-
She hit him again.
Tears welled in her eyes, she crouched down, and she sobbed into her knees. "You," she cried. "Se-elf serv… serving… demor- or- or- alized… bastard!" Tears continued to run down her face and her breathing grew less and less regulated for what seemed like ages until Severus did the unthinkable- he bent down and put his free hand on her back in a meager attempt to comfort her.
"Rolanda? Listen Rolanda, I'm…" He paused, looking for the right word. "Sorry if I hurt you. I didn't really mean it."
"Li- like hell you di- didn't!"
Severus moved his hand laterally across her back despite the awkwardness generated from their clasped hands. He soon gave up rubbing her back for trying to get her to look at him. After a short while, he surrendered in that endeavor as well and settled for sitting next to her and occasionally squeezing her hand.
A few moments later, Rolanda finally said "I didn't sleep with him."
"It's eleven o'clock, Rolanda."
"You don't believe me."
"That doesn't matter right now, let's just go to bed." Severus stood and helped Rolanda up.
"Yes, it does matter right now!" Rolanda said indignantly.
"Yes, I believe you." He said as he looked straight into her eyes. "Do you want to wash up or anything?"
"No, I'm fine." She said coolly as she led him to her bed.
"You certainly weren't a minute ago."
"You're pushing it."
"Sorry."
Rolanda climbed into bed and moved against the wall to leave as much room between her and Severus as possible. "Good night, Severus." She said as she doused the lights with a flick of her wrist.
"Good night." He was so stiff; it was as if he was made of wood instead of flesh! Not a short while later his deep, regular breathing echoed throughout the room, providing a comforting noise against the cold and darkness that settled in the room whenever Rolanda was alone. She wriggled her right arm once more and fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.
Well? LONG chapter, huh? 4,700+ words! I'm impressed, personally. I was thinking about adding a little more- like Rolanda recounting her day, but I decided that it's been WAY too long of a day and I just need to go to bed. Goodnight, I hope that a review will await me in my inbox tomorrow!