-Oh, what a shame that I row
To the edges so that I can fall off
At long last, here is chapter 2! Thank you everyone for your support.
I'm trying to keep the fic somewhat canon compliant, so I included brief references to episodes that take place after Firewall, and those would be s12e11 'On The Arm' for the birthday dinner, s12e14 'Allegiance' for the Mimi Martinez case, and s12e15 'Where We Stand' for the Emmy case.
Thank you for you patience, this fic is my baby and I will update as frequently as I can given real life and whatnot. It may take a little long, but the updates will come.
I apologize for any mistakes, fic hasn't been beta'd we die like men.
Danny finds himself eager to get out of bed, waking with unbridled levity and a jovial smile on his lips; one that carries through his early morning routine. He splashes the cold water across his face and for the first time in a long time, he agrees with the way his reflection looks after the wet haze in his eyes clears.
He hums along to the unfamiliar melody that starts playing in his mind, making his way downstairs to open the kitchen windows and start a fresh pot of coffee. The crisp daybreak air fills his lungs as Danny gathers items from the cabinets and refrigerator for breakfast. The aggravated stomps of his youngest upstairs alerts him to the excessive noise being made first thing in the morning.
"Hey, dad," Sean surfaces after a couple minutes, dragging his feet through the kitchen floor and rubbing his face.
"Morning," Danny responds with boisterous assertion.
"Dad, it's 7:00 AM," Sean stares with a groan. "Why are you so chirpy?"
"Why are you so grumpy?"
"The reason I just said."
"Come on," Danny reproaches. "It's beautiful out there."
"It's freezing," Sean rubs his arms. "Why are the windows open?"
"I never realized how crabby you are in the morning."
"That's because you are never up this early."
"I am, too."
Sean rolls his eyes. "Okay, dad."
"What do you want with your pancakes?" Danny ignores his son's petulance.
"Pancakes? But it's a weekday."
"So?"
"You never make breakfast unless it's the weekend, and even then—,"
"Don't be so dramatic, Sean," Danny interrupts. "It's just the pre-mixed stuff."
"Syrup is fine," he shrugs and watches his father take two mugs from the cabinet, along with the bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's.
"Coffee's brewing too."
"Thanks," Sean squints, paying close attention to the newfound quirks he notices in Danny's behavior.
"I'm going for a quick walk before work. Help yourself to anything."
"What's gotten into you?" Sean furrows his eyebrows.
"Nothing," he replies with a hint of amused annoyance. "Just clean up when you're done."
As Danny takes his first step outside and breathes in the chilly New York City air, he's reminded of yesterday and the numbness he'd felt prior to finding her by the water, the pounding sensation on his chest when she surprised him with her lips in his, the exchanged pleasantries en route to dropping her off at her place – all as vivid as the light of day.
Not too far away, Baez wakes up with the same smile on her face. Her morning ritual is much quieter, but the sentiments with which she carries herself very much mirror her partner's. Much like Danny, she recalls the events from the previous night, every single detail carved in her memory – all as vivid as the light of day.
…
THE NIGHT BEFORE
The drive to her place is quiet, but in an entirely different way from their earlier ride in the cop car. Silence is filled when needed, but there is no discomfort or strain when it's not. To the relief of both, things feel normal again. It's in the way he checks on her for all of the day's developments. It's in the way Danny slows down at yellow lights instead of flooring through them like he ordinarily would, welcoming any additional time with her. It's in the way his gut reacts to how she laughs at that joke he is finally able to crack.
He pulls up to the space in front of her house and puts the car in park, turning to her attentively. Their gazes hold for a moment, neither certain of what to do about the nervous flutters that catches their senses.
"Let me walk you to your door."
"It's right there, Danny," she laughs, the door not ten feet away from them.
They sit in stillness, waiting, expecting. He leans towards the passenger's seat lightly, taking her hand in his.
"We have to be careful, Danny," she breathes, all the while tightening the grip around his fingers.
He gives her hand another squeeze before placing it on her lap and restating the car.
"What are you doing?" she chuckles as he takes a couple of turns, waits at a red light, and eventually stops around a corner a few blocks away from her place.
"Now we're not in front of your house anymore," he announces with a proud smile.
Baez grins, eyes trained on him, amused at how endearing she finds his antics.
Danny's hand gently brushes her knee before he laces their fingers back together. Much to the alleviation of his unease, Baez reciprocates the gesture every time.
"So, what now?" she asks, a trace of tension in her voice.
"Now…" he pauses. "We take it one day at a time."
Danny is the one to initiate the kiss this time. He starts on the corner of her mouth and gradually moves inward, taking his time to relish the taste of her lips in his, slow but steady. Baez lets out soft hums that echo through the both of them.
When they come to themselves, they decide to cut the night short, agreeing not to rush into things too hastily. The pair whispers their goodnights before Danny circles back to drop her off at home.
…
BACK TO PRESENT DAY
"Coffee?" Danny inquires with a reticent smile not ten minutes after she sits at her desk.
"How many is that today?" Baez gives him the side-eye, already on her way to the coffee station.
"One," he says defensively, following suit.
"Sure."
"It's true," Danny catches her raised eyebrow. "I made a pot for me and Sean this morning but didn't have any. I promise."
"I mean 'Sure', let's go get coffee, not 'Sure', I know you're lying to me," she teases. "No need to be apologetic."
Baez stops at the precinct's coffee station and leans on the table, turning to face Danny.
"I mean outside," he nudges her, motioning to the exit.
"Oh."
"Found a new place," he smirks, and her face mirrors the sentiment.
"We're driving?"
"It ain't far," Danny rationalizes, and Baez nods in amusement.
"Okay."
"And also, because I want a moment just for us," he says out of everyone else's earshot.
She gives him a pointed look, loaded with an impish sternness that evokes a giggle out of him.
"Did you do something to your hair?" they're five minutes into the drive when Danny asks the question, eyes straight ahead.
"Um, no," she turns to him and runs her hands across the strands, cheeks flushing.
"It looks different. Longer."
"I don't think I grew hair overnight, Danny," she laughs.
"It looks good," he shrugs.
"Thank you," Baez twists the curls in her fingers, smiling to herself.
"Can I see you tonight?" Danny asks in a low voice.
"Have I been stricken by daylight invisibility that I don't know of?" Baez jokes, frantically waving her hands before her, as if she can see through them.
"Oh, no. Not you, too," Danny plays along. "I've enough of the wise guy attitude from Sean, thank you very much."
Her laugh steeps the air.
"I'd like that."
She comes to find Danny is right, thoroughly enjoying the sip of coffee she takes.
"Told ya," he raises his to-go cup, and the pair sits in comfortable silence enjoying their beverages together.
…
The day seems to go by fast. Back at the precinct, after finding Christine and Emmy, they mainly focus on the paperwork, working in sync, anticipating each other's thoughts and moves. It feels like any other day, only the energy is somewhat different. Danny lightens the mood with humor when appropriate, she breathes gently.
He catches her glancing in his direction when he places another folder on the 'completed' pile, a pensive look on her face he can't quite read.
"What?" Danny chortles.
Her mind wanders, landing on that one moment not long ago when Danny set all of this in motion. And every moment after that.
The memories hit her like bricks. It hits her in the way he takes her out for her birthday when her family doesn't even grace her with a call. Or when he shows up at her doorstep after closing the Mimi Martinez case for a friendly meal, and how they laugh together while watching old DVR'ed episodes of her favorite talk show.
And it hits her today after working the Farmer case. The despair on Will's face, the way he described what his life would be like if he lost Emmy. And the lengths he'd go to in order to ensure his daughter wasn't taken from him.
Because life without her, without Emmy, seemed meaningless, miserable; because Emmy was everything Will had.
"Nothing," Baez comes back to reality, her response quick and taciturn.
Danny gives her a quizzical look but turns his attention back to the documents in front of him as she tries to focus on her own paperwork.
…
Baez paces impatiently, feeling like she's on the edge of a precipice until she hears the soft knock at the door.
"Hey, partner," she makes way to let him in.
"I brought food," he hands her the clear plastic bag from his favorite burger joint.
"Thank you. You shouldn't have."
"Extra pickles just for you," he winks at her.
Baez scrunches her nose, a ghost of a smile behind her eyes.
"Can we talk?" she leads him to the kitchen area, setting the food on the counter while Danny closes the door behind him.
"That's never a good sign."
"I'm serious, Danny," she frets.
"Okay, but before we do, can I say something?"
Baez nods with a chuckle, the irony of Danny saying something before they can talk not lost on her. He takes a step forward and tilts her head up with his index finger. He kisses her – the way he'd meant to do all day – and she doesn't stop him.
"Well said," she whispers.
Danny laughs, tucking her hair behind her ear.
"Are you trying to bribe me?"
"Depends on what you wanna talk about."
It's hard for her to start the conversation, but she takes a deep breath and steadies herself.
"How long have we known each other? Twenty years now?"
"Well, that's really not a good sign."
"Danny," she smacks his arm playfully.
"Ow," he pretend yelps, happy to see the lightness it brings to her demeanor. "Yeah, just about twenty."
"And we've been working close together for the past ten…" she trails off. "Long time."
"Let me stop you right there," Danny raises a finger. "I think I know where you're going with this."
"Are we making a mistake here?" she blurts out.
"We've been here before," Danny murmurs calmly.
"I know," she feels the guilt eat at her. "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry," he brings her hand to his lips and places a kiss on her palm. "What it is that is bothering you?"
"Not bothering me," she exhales. "Just…we still have time."
"Time for what?"
"To put a stop to this before it's too late," she breathes.
"Is that what you want?" Danny can tell by the expression on her face that it's not.
"I don't want to lose you," her eyes are heavy with certainty.
Danny finds solace in the fact that she doesn't withdraw from his touch – it is all the assurance he needs for now. Not all is lost.
"I know it's risky," he concedes. "But isn't that all the more reason to take the leap?"
"I don't have that many people in my life that I can count on, truly count on," she stammers. "You're it."
"You can always count on me."
"That's just it, Danny. What if there comes a time when I can't anymore?" she takes a small step back to see him better. "We work so well together."
"We do."
"What if we lose that?"
"That's not going to happen."
"You can't know that."
Danny lingers in her orbit. "Do you not trust me?"
"Of course I do," her forehead lines crease.
"Then give us a chance. Give me a chance."
"It's not about that. I trust you with my life, Danny, but…" Baez hesitates.
"But?"
"What if it doesn't work out?"
Danny takes an extended pause before he speaks again.
"What if it does?"
Astonished, Baez stands still while he gently rubs his thumb on her cheek.
"I don't know what is going to happen," Danny continues. "And I don't know how things are going to turn out, but I do know one thing and that is how I feel about you."
"Which is?" she doesn't mean to ask something that makes her look so vulnerable, but it comes out before she's even able to think.
He measures his words. "That we can be great together."
Her lips tremble and her body shudders. Danny moves closer, then waits. After a moment, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her to him.
"I'm scared," she whispers, face buried against his shoulder.
"I know," Danny presses his eyelids together. "Me too, but I'm even more scared of not even trying."
Baez grips the back of his shirt, pulling him closer. The steadiness of his embrace slowly calms her body into relaxation.
"It's a gamble," Danny carries on, "but one we'll take together. The outcome is ultimately up to us."
He rests his chin on top of her head.
"You're not going to lose me because I'm pretty set on keeping you in my life too, you know?"
Danny exhales before speaking his next words.
"I'll leave if you want me to."
She grips him tighter, and then the words fall from her like a whisper.
"Stay."
I was fully prepared to include a Wahlburgers reference at the end, but I realized there are none in NY. Bummer.
Chapter summary comes from Of Monsters and Men's Róróró.