Awareness came to Padme gently as she woke, enjoying the warmth of the blanket over her nude body, the way the mattress sunk perfectly beneath her weight and most of all, the sensation of Anakin's lips journeying the valley of her neck. Smiling into the pillow, she giggled as his lips lingered on a spot that tickled and turned over to face her lover. "Good morning."
"Mmhm, morning." He leant over her body and brought his lip to hers which she welcomed happily, morning breath aside. When they parted, she traced her fingers along his chin and jaw, enjoying the scrape of growing stubble beneath her touch.
"I think you would suit a beard, you know." It wasn't the first time she'd told him this in the three months they'd been doing this and probably wouldn't be the last, either. Cosmetics were difficult to come by these days – beyond her hairbrush and the occasional can of deodorant – Padme hadn't seen anything like that since the early days of the new world, when everybody thought it was temporary but somehow, Anakin was always able to shave. Did he hoard the foam when he found it? Maybe he just used soap?
He laid on his side and leant on his elbow, exploring the curve of Padme's hip with his free hand, "what is it with you and beards, Naberrie?" He laughed, trailing his palm upwards on her body to cup her breast, "I'm starting to think you want to change me."
"Well…" She drawled, barely battling down her smile. Mornings like these had become the norm these past three months, under the comfort of night sharing this bed had begun as a regular occurrence and were now a nightly routine. Sometimes their hands would wander each other's bodies for hours, sometimes they'd make mental maps of one another with lips, teeth and tongues… Every passing day furthered their absolute comfort around each other. It hadn't taken long for their amorous activities to slip out of the bedroom and into other areas of the suite. Couches, walls, tables and on one particularly drunken night, the supply closet next to the lobby had all served them well. "Maybe you are a little rough around the edges…"
"Oh, you think so?" Anakin pushed her on her back and climbed over her body, "say what you want, Padme, but you don't like soft. You'd get tired of someone who didn't have fire." She didn't allow herself to dwell on his words, choosing instead to focus on the heat blooming between her legs as he kissed her throat, her breasts and lower, lower… Yes, thinking about that was far sweeter.
Whatever it was in this cruel world, they were making some kind of a life together. They talked for hours about movies they used to like, music, hobbies. He made her laugh and without the presence of others around, he could be kind and sweet… They made love with their hands and mouths until they were boneless and sated, laying in a heap of tangled limbs and it was amazing but they burned for more, to go further and know each other in every intimate way. However, without proper protection, it was impossible.
Padme cared about him, she didn't think such a thing was possible before but it was true… She enjoyed their time together, the stolen kisses when no one was looking, the brush of their fingers as they passed each other in the halls of the Empire, the quiet moments upstairs and especially the rare nights he would surprise her with a scrappy dinner and a shared bottle of wine on the table overlooking the city.
It wasn't perfect, nothing was in the new world, but it was theirs and Padme enjoyed the comfort it brought her. But still… Deep down in her heart, she still ached for her friends, for Obi-wan, Bail, Rush, Dorme and Sabe… She wondered how they were or if they were even still alive? Padme hoped they were, she wanted to see them again someday.
After losing themselves to their pleasure – twice – Padme pulled on a well-worn pair of dark blue jeans that had torn at the knee two days ago and a long-sleeved, black shirt before reaching for her trusty leather holsters and strapping them to her legs. Without looking in the mirror, she pulled her hair up into a tight pony-tail and sighed, it was getting too long now… She was going to have to cut it before a monster grabbed at it and used it to hurt her. The little things were dangerous in today's world.
After tying the laces of her boots, she walked toward the bathroom and found Anakin applying a beard of soft, white foam to his lower face in front of the high, cracked mirror. He was running low on razors, he'd mentioned it last night, so she made a mental note to keep an eye out on the day's supply run for him. It was a nice thing to do, after all. "I'm going to head downstairs. Kit will be waiting for me to go out for supplies."
"Don't forget to arm up," he put his razor down before starting, "there's been a lot more of those things than usual out there lately."
"Actually, I was thinking that it might be a good idea to go out there without a gun and hope singing Kumbaya would settle them down." He laughed, shaking his head and Padme joined him. It was still a little strange to feel so light and carefree again, especially around Anakin, but in moments lie these their suite felt like home. "I'm not stupid, I know how to take care of myself out there."
"I know." He nodded, "C'mere…" Padme went to her lover with a smile, wrapping her arms around his neck when he hoisted he up, onto the white marble counter. "Mmm, why don't you ditch the supply run and we can stay up here all day?" His hands slid from her knees to her thighs and she wound her calves around his hips. It was tempting… Staying here in the privacy of their suit and the snug warmth of their bed sounded wonderful in comparison to heading outside into the cold and dangerous streets to pillage a few stores, but, she made a commitment. Kit would be waiting for her.
"I promised Kit I would help him," Padme smiled, "I'll have to cancel a meeting or two but we can lock ourselves away in here all day tomorrow if you like. Maybe I'll find a packet of instant coffee or two to keep us going."
He smiled and pressed his forehead to hers, mindful to keep the lower half of his face from touching her. "Hey, speaking of finding things… You know I went out with Dooku and a few others yesterday?"
"Yes…?" She raised a curious eyebrow.
"Well, it was far out, right by the docks, its neutral territory for now until I can have someone go out and spray the Imperial sign around to keep the Rebels out. No one's been in there, so there was a lot to gather up – tins, cereals and stuff with long expiration dates. We did good, the kitchen is stocked up nicely for now so we don't have to worry about it for a while. I, uh, I found something else… Something still in date…"
Padme sifted her fingers through the soft hair that fell to the nape of his neck as he spoke, nodding along. "If you say chocolate, I might have an orgasm right here."
"Like I'd share that with you," he rolled his eyes with a laugh, "no, it's actually, uh… Look, me telling you this isn't meant to be anything more than putting it out there, okay?"
"Hey," she pulled her face away from his, "you're starting to worry me now. What did you find?"
Anakin's tongue poked out to wet his lips and he nodded slightly, swallowing, "condoms."
"Con..." She breathed, almost choking on the word, eyes wide. He'd found actual, non-expired condoms out there? Padme didn't think that it was possible anymore given how long it had been since the time before. "Wow… I…"
"I thought that I should tell you… Now there's options… If we want them…"
Options. That wasn't something a lot of people had these days, not in anything. But now they did, they could have sex, real sex without putting her life at risk through pregnancy. She thought it was impossible for them...
Kit was waiting for her downstairs.
"I think that we should talk about this later when we have the time."
"Yeah," he nodded, "yeah that's a good idea."
Padme traced the top half of the scar over his eye with a gentle fingertip and tried to push back the nervousness she felt in her stomach. They had been together in every other way they could think of, she had seen every inch of his body and he'd seen hers, there was nothing to be frightened about, not with Anakin. "I could see if I can find a bottle of wine when I'm out… For tonight…" She pressed her forehead against his again, "and then… We can just see where the night takes us."
"Yeah? I like the sound of that…" Padme felt his cock twitch against her core through her jeans and smirked, a spark of arousal beginning to coil inside her.
"Mmm, me too… But for now, I have to go, you're making me late to meet Kit."
"Ugh, fine." He rolled his eyes and made to kiss her goodbye but Padme pushed him backwards, shaking her head with a giggle.
"Uh, absolutely not! You're covered in shaving foam!" Something playful lit up in his eyes and she shook her head again, slowly this time, "Anakin Skywalker, I mean it! Stay away from me!"
Ignoring her, he lunged and Padme leapt off the counter, running toward the door as he gave chase, both laughing hysterically all the while.
That afternoon, Ahsoka walked through the doors of The Empire wearing a long, burgundy leather coat over her dark pants and a torn, purple t-shirt. The weather was finally beginning to warm with winter melting into spring, something which brought survivors some relief. For being a former Imperial and an occasional ally to the Rebels, the girl seemed to stand on neutral ground, dealing with both gangs equally but fighting only for herself. Padme wondered if she ever grew lonely, being out there all on her own… Her time alone on the streets had been horrible.
"Where is Anakin?" Ahsoka's face was blank as she looked at Aphra, "I need to talk to him."
"Right." The raven-haired woman nodded, "I'll go get him." She jogged out of the lobby when the younger girl nodded, unafraid of the Imperials or even of Anakin. She saw why he enjoyed her company; he enjoyed the girl's fire. Ahsoka had a strong nerve, she'd been an Imperial and chose to go out on her own… Padme didn't think she could ever be so brave.
After just a moment, Aphra returned and tipped her head for the younger girl to follow behind her. Padme's heart drummed in her chest at the sight. If Ahsoka was here, it meant she had probably visited The Coruscant too – she would know how everyone was! Gathering her courage, she followed Ahsoka and Aphra out of the lobby and around the corner to where Anakin waited in one of the torn, red leather booths for their meeting. She lingered near the end of the hall, prepared to catch the girl on her way out and ask about Obi-wan and the others. All she needed to hear was that they were safe… Safe and alive.
She watched them talking, heard the murmur of their voices but couldn't make out any clear words nor did she care to. Their conversation was none of her business, after all. Anakin laughed at something Ahsoka said but Padme didn't hear the girl join in. Their talk lasted only a few moments longer before the girl stood with a parting nod and made to leave. This was her only chance! Who knew when Ahsoka would be back?
"Hey, Princess, what do you think you're doing?" Aphra called out as Padme grasped Ahsoka's wrist and yanked her into a dark corner, away from prying eyes and, most importantly, listening ears. The girl looked startled for a moment, her twin black braids swinging over her slim shoulders as she was tugged along. When they stopped, surprise shone in her big, blue eyes.
"Padme!" She crossed her arms, "I'm glad to see you… Obi-wan has been worried that something might have happened to you."
"How is he? And the others? Sabe and Dorme? Bail? Rush? Are they still alive?" There wasn't any time for pleasantries, Padme had no idea when someone might come to interrupt and escort Ahsoka out. They had to get to the point. "Tell me everything you can."
Ahsoka pursed her lips and glanced over her shoulder quickly, "I've only seen Obi-wan since you left but he hasn't mentioned any deaths. I'm actually about to head over to The Coruscant now."
It wasn't exactly what she'd been hoping to hear but for right now it was enough, Padme could have cried out with the relief it brought her, instead, tears welled in her eyes. Thank god, thank god…
"I know that they miss you," the girl unfolded her arms to touch Padme's shoulder, "Obi-wan regrets letting you come here with Anakin… He would come get you if he thought he could… You haven't been forgotten."
Nodding, she wiped at her eyes quickly, "thank you, Ahsoka, you don't know what it means to me to hear you say all this. When you get there, please just… Tell them I'm alright here. Could you?"
The young girl's face softened, "I will, I promise. And you never know, you might be able to tell them yourself sooner than later."
Her words made the blood in Padme's veins run cold suddenly, there was a hint beneath what she said, a silent promise of something… No, Obi-wan wouldn't be so stupid would he? She came here to keep them safe, he couldn't jeopardise that by pulling a stunt to get her back. She shook her head, feeling panic churn in her stomach.
"They can't try anything." She grabbed Ahsoka's wrists with a desperate whisper, "I mean it! Anakin will kill them! They can't try to get me back, it's not worth it." He would set his beast on the Rebels and they'd be killed because of her. Because Obi-wan couldn't accept her sacrifice. No, no he couldn't do it!
The girl gave Padme an odd look, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Obi-wan takes any risks into account before making a move. He's a smart man. Don't worry so much, alright?"
She nodded, not exactly reassured but prayed Ahsoka would pass along her words regardless. Hopefully, when he heard she was fine, Obi-wan would finally let her go… That way he and the others could be safe. "Alright… Thank you."
They exchanged a small smile before Ahsoka turned on her heel and marched out of The Empire doors as easily as she'd come in and Padme's heart hurt at her departure. The girl was her only link to her friends… She wished she could go with her to see them, just for a day, even an hour…
When she was sure there were no remnants of her tears, Padme took a deep breath and rounded the corner. Aphra and Anakin stood slightly beyond the booth where he'd met with Ahsoka, whispering to one another quietly. It wasn't difficult to see that he was seething, his body tightly coiled and ready to snap and her stomach sank. What had Ahsoka said to wind him up like that? Was it something to do with the monsters? Or was it the Rebels? Please no, god, please no.
Anakin noticed her a moment later and snatched his dark coat from the booth before turning to Aphra once again, "take them and be ready. I shouldn't be far behind."
Something was happening but Padme was missing the vital piece for everything to make sense. When Anakin came close enough, she brushed her fingers against his, wary of showing any affection where they could be seen. Aphra already hated her, no need to add anyone else to the list. "What did Ahsoka want?"
His face was hard and stony, his anger simmering just beneath the surface. "I could ask you the same," his jaw tightened warningly, "you two looked quite friendly over there…"
Shit. There was nothing to tell him but the truth… But would that endanger her friends? Being honest with one another was a fiery tightrope when he had the power and desire to hurt people he perceived to be a threat. If she lied, he would know and then grow suspicious but if she told him the truth… Padme shook her head and rubbed her hand up and down Anakin's arm softly. "It wasn't anything important, I was just asking about Obi-wan and the others…"
"Why?" He asked impatiently, "what is there to know?"
"If they're safe – if they're alive. They're my friends, Anakin, I care about them."
He blinked, surprised, as if Padme had admitted something reprehensible to him. "Why do you care about what's going on with Obi-wan and his Rebel scum? You're an Imperial now. You're here, with me." His hands grabbed possessively at her hips over the blue denim of her jeans and tugged her body closer to his.
There was no point to this conversation, she knew it, he knew it, they would go round and round until his jealousy got the better of him but Padme just couldn't help but bristle at his words. She'd always hated when the Imperials had spat the words 'Rebel scum' at them. They hadn't done anything wrong, the Rebels were people trying to survive just like them.
"Don't say that. They're good people, Anakin, people who took me in and helped me survive. They'll always be my friends regardless of where I am or the way we feel about each other."
With an irritated roll of his eyes, he released her waist and began pulling his dark coat on over the long-sleeved, green shirt he'd dressed in this morning. "You should stop caring about them. Your life here will be easier if you do."
"It's not that easy to just stop caring about people!" She said, appalled, "it's not a switch I can just flick off."
"For you, maybe…" He muttered.
Frustrated, Padme glared at him. "Well not everyone is as uncaring as you, you know! Some people actually have room in their heart for others."
Anakin paused then, frowning, "…You think that I'm uncaring?" He looked at her like he was angry, perhaps even hurt, but Padme didn't care. His callous disregard for her friendships and feelings awoke a deep resentment she'd buried beneath the new feelings created by their changing relationship. It was too late to hold back her anger now. It was spiteful but she wanted to hurt him, to make him see how he made others feel for once.
"What?" She laughed bitterly, "you think you care about me, do you? Please! You don't care about me, Anakin – you only care about controlling me! All you want is for me to be your little pet! That isn't caring!"
"Is that really what you think?"
"It's what I know!" Padme yelled, her anger awoke and then exploded. "You were a bully all those years ago and you're still a bully now! You haven't changed at all." Despite her fury, she felt tears spring into her eyes and shook her head, "I don't know what I was thinking… I thought that maybe there was something more to you, that all this cruelty was a pretence or that you were changing, but I was wrong. You are who you are, you'll never change."
Anakin stared at her for several silent moments as she desperately tried to compose herself, looking upwards at the crumbling ceiling to calm her breathing. His silence felt more alarming than his words. When she wiped her tears away and looked at him again, the intensity of his gaze made Padme's breath catch, it was electrifying, unstable. Her outburst had wounded him, she sensed it, but had it been his heart of his ego? She wasn't sure which was worse.
Regardless, she would not take her words back.
Finally, something in his face changed, hardening before her eyes. "Maybe it's time that I proved you wrong, Naberrie." His voice was falsely sweet, dangerously alluring and Padme feared he was setting a trap just for her. Anakin wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her close again, "I'm going to show you just how much I care."
She shuddered. Something cruel lingered in his eyes… Had she gone too far? "Anakin – "
He didn't let her finish, claiming her lips in a harsh, bruising kiss that tasted of anger and jealousy instead, releasing her only when Padme was breathless. "We're going out. I have a surprise for you."
He led Padme out of the hotel and to a large parking lot behind an old grocery store where most of the Imperial gang's best fighters had already gathered, murmuring amongst themselves as they waited. Aphra lounged on top of what had once been a silver car, abandoned and rusted now, the thick metal chain of the beast's leash was wrapped around her palm. "You finally decided to show up, huh?" She called out to Anakin with a smirk. "I thought you were going to miss it!"
Why was the beast here?
"Miss what? What's going on?" Padme turned to Anakin nervously and clutched at his shirt, "what have you done?"
She glanced over his shoulder and spotted Rex who guiltily avoided her gaze and dread began to form in her stomach. Did everyone here know what was happening except for her?
"Don't look so worried," Anakin murmured and stroked her cheek, "this is your surprise. You wanted to see your friends again, didn't you? You're getting your wish."
Every inch of Padme's body froze in a mixture of horror and utter dismay. No, no, he couldn't do this… He couldn't really do this… "Anakin, please – "
"They're here." Someone said and Padme looked over her shoulder, horrified, as a crowd approached from the other side. Recognizing Obi-wan's long, tan coat right away, horror turned to panic as she grabbed the collar of Anakin's coat, searching his eyes.
"Anakin, no, please! Please, I'm begging you, don't do this!"
Without looking at Padme, he called out, "Aphra! Come over here."
The other woman leapt from the car at once, carelessly tossing the creature's chain to Kit who winced and immediately stepped backwards from the thing. When she was close enough, Aphra and Anakin glanced at one another, sharing a silent conversation in the span of an instant and she nodded, shifting her gaze to Padme with a smile.
"Don't worry, Princess," she pouted mockingly, "it'll all be over before you know it." Aphra grabbed her wrist and dragged her away from Anakin whose gaze was fixated on the approaching Rebels, pushing her towards Rex. "Keep her back here."
Furious, panicked and frantic, Padme fought to free herself from the burly New Zealander's grasp as he held her wrist but despite her struggling, shouting and even kicking, there was no escaping, Rex was tall and his grip strong. He forced her backwards a step or two to where the rest of the Imperials waited for Anakin's orders. "I'm sorry about this, lass, really…" He muttered but she hardly heard him over the pounding of her heart in her ears. "Just don't fight him on this. It'll make it worse."
Helpless tears welled in her eyes and spilled onto her cheeks. This couldn't be happening! It couldn't! She turned to Rex, "why is he doing this?"
"Just watch."
All too soon the Rebel silhouettes had come close enough for Padme to make out her friends across the parking lot and she spied Bail beside Obi-wan, Dorme and Sabe to the left and Clovis beside a man she didn't recognise to the right. Just this morning the sight of her friends alive would have bought her endless joy and relief but now she could hardly breathe from panic. They shouldn't be here. They had to get far, far away from here while they still could!
"Padme!" Clovis spotted her first, he had a new scar across his left cheek but looked exactly how she remembered him otherwise. Bail followed his gaze and found her also, beginning to move forward but Obi-wan extended his am to stop him, something painful in his gaze. The two men whispered together, glancing at her again. Finally, the Rebel leader came forward.
"What's the meaning of this, Skywalker?" He called across the concrete, "you and your crew are in Rebel territory!"
"She wanted to see you," Anakin gestured toward Padme with a shrug, "I wanted to show her just how nice can be." Padme's gaze flicked from Obi-wan to Anakin and to his beast where Kit still held it leashed. "Rex, let her go see her friends."
Immediately, the firm grip on Padme's wrist fell away and she took a few small steps but didn't wander further. She wanted to go to her friends but something wasn't right… This was a trap, she just didn't see how yet. There would be consequences, she could feel it in her bones.
"Go on then, Princess!" Aphra sniggered, "don't you want to go say hello? This is what you've been crying for since you joined us."
I hate her, Padme thought to herself, I hate her.
Looking past Aphra's smug face, she found Anakin's narrowed eyes and shook her head. What point was this supposed to prove?
"Padme," he spoke at last, "this is your chance."
She didn't move, standing her ground in whatever silent fight he had thrown her into. Padme wouldn't give him easy ammunition against her or her friends – no, their safety was her priority now. After another moment, Anakin rolled his eyes and nodded at Rex who sighed and grasped her arm, pushing her forward despite her struggles. "I told you not to make things more difficult. You'll just piss him off more than they already have!" He hissed in her ear and practically threw her body toward the Rebels.
Padme stumbled forward, slightly dazed, because she had no idea what was happening or what exactly Anakin's plan was. But there was a plan, he would never have come here without one. She glanced back at her lover to see him climb onto the hood of the abandoned silver car to sit on the roof, folding his arms over his chest. A hand squeezed her shoulder then and she jolted around to see a pale-faced Bail whose eyes glistened with disbelieving tears.
"Padme…" He breathed her name and just the sound was enough to tear a small sob from her throat. "Are you alright?"
"Yes!" She nodded and threw her arms around the man briefly, pulling back before he could return to hug, "I'm fine, but you have to – "
A moment later, Clovis came running over, all but skidding to a stop before them, "thank god you're okay! When no one had seen you around the city, I began to think the worst. Please tell me that smug bastard over there hasn't… He hasn't done anything to you?"
It took everything Padme had to keep her face from crumbling because if Clovis and Bail knew what she let Anakin do to her… She shook her head and swallowed her grief. Clovis looked relieved but Bail's face didn't change. A hand on Bail's shoulder made her friend step out of the way to make room for Obi-wan, his face carefully emotionless even as their eyes met. He was always good at hiding his feelings when he wanted to but the auburn-haired man's eyes had always spoken more than his lips ever could.
He looked at Padme with fierce fondness and absolute regret and she forced a smile over her lips for his sake. A long time ago, Obi-wan Kenobi pulled her out of darkness and even if she'd found herself drenched in a different sort of darkness now, she hadn't forgotten what he'd done for her. She wouldn't be alive right now if not for him.
"Padme, I – "
"I think that's enough of a reunion for one day." Anakin barked from where he sat on the car and Obi-wan's gaze shot to the Imperial leader angrily.
"What is all this about, Anakin? Whatever game you're playing, we want no part of it!"
"But you're the one who started it!" His eyebrows shot up, "I have to admit though, I'm disappointed, old man. I expected something more elaborate from you."
Padme tensed and slowly lifted her gaze to Obi-wan again as he clenched his jaw. Clovis took a step forward, defensively blocking her from Anakin and the other Imperial's view. What was he talking about by starting a game? No, surely he and the others weren't stupid enough not to listen to the warning she'd had Ahsoka pass along…
"I don't know what you're talking about!"
Anakin rolled his eyes, leaping off the car and began to close the space between himself and the Rebels, followed closely by Rex and Aphra. Every step he took spiked her anxiety. "Let me spell it out for you then…" He was close enough to see the smug smirk across his mouth and the coldness of his eyes. Padme tried to catch his gaze, to silently plead with him to call off whatever sick plan he'd conjured up but there was no breaking the spell of loathing between the two men. "Your little trick, sending Ahsoka to me, informing me about that previously undiscovered storage unit filled with weapons and supplies… Did you really think I'd fall for that, Kenobi? Let me guess, you planned that I wouldn't be able to resist such a prize and head out with my best fighters making it easy for you and your… Motley crew here to swoop in and take Padme back, yes? In fact, I bet you were all heading to The Empire right now, weren't you?"
Padme glanced at Obi-wan with wide eyes as Anakin spoke, shaking her head in disbelief when his eyes met hers. He looked apologetic but she could have smacked him for being so dense! How could he have thought for even a second that Anakin would fall for such an obvious ploy? It was too convenient, too easy and completely short-sighted… Ahsoka had obvious ties to the Rebels after all, why would she share that kind of information with the Imperials? It was dangerous to provoke an enemy like Anakin, it was asking for trouble… And they'd done it for her. Her friends had tried to save her – they cared enough to take such a ridiculous risk and it made her ache because they shouldn't have tried it! Now, Anakin was going to kill them all.
"You went through all this trouble for nothing," Anakin shrugged, "Padme's an Imperial now, she's fine where she is."
Still hovering in front of her, Clovis scoffed. "Fine with you? Please, I don't believe that for one second! You're a sick bastard, Skywalker! The only reason she stays in that hotel is because you threatened us."
"Hey!" She hissed, touching his arm, "stop it! I'm fine, okay?"
Rather than take insult at Clovis' furious words, Anakin merely looked the man up and down once before shaking his head. "If only you knew…" His eyes looked beyond her friend's head to catch Padme's eyes. "Do you want to tell him or should I?"
Frowning, Clovis turned to Padme, confusion swimming in his narrowed green eyes. "Tell me what?"
Shame, hot and agonising, swelled inside the Imperial-convert. Why was he doing this? Padme felt like weeping. Why did he thrive on hurting people in any way he could? She hung her head, the words unwilling to leave her lips as both men awaited their appearance with bated breath. "I… Rush," her voice was small and afraid, "things have changed since I joined the Empire."
She trudged slowly around her friend, watching her scuffed boots take the steps toward where Anakin waited, holding out a hand when she was close enough. Padme took it at once to placate him, praying that he'd had his fun and it was over now, but, it didn't stop there. Anakin drew her in, fierce and quick, placing a hand on her nape and pressed a kiss made of jealousy and victory to her lips.
It lasted only a moment or two before Padme pulled away, glaring, but Anakin's eyes were elsewhere. That kiss hadn't been for her, no, it wasn't passion or lust, it was an act, a twist of his knife. She hardly dared to look over at her friends but forced her gaze upwards to where the Rebels stood in horrified silence as understanding dawned of the futility of their rescue. They had been willing to risk their lives for her and it had been for nothing…
They had agonized over plans while Padme had surrendered herself to lust.
They had come together with Ahsoka to create a scheme that might outwit the Imperial leader and risk his wrath while she had slept in his arms at night.
Obi-wan was expressionless. Bail shook his head, aghast. Dorme and Sabe avoided Padme's gaze. Clovis looked outraged.
"Trust me," a slow, self-righteous smile spread across Anakin's mouth, "I've made sure she's perfectly satisfied."
His double entendre hung in the air poignantly, heavily, and the world around Padme fell absolutely silent. Something rang in her ears. Something burned through her stomach and chest. Shame. Humiliation. Regret.
And guilt. The guilt brought fresh tears to her stinging eyes.
Through his attempt to claim her for himself, Anakin had done something more, something even he probably hadn't anticipated, he'd outed her. Now Padme's sacrifice in joining the Imperials was tainted, in their eyes, she hadn't done it for them anymore, she'd chosen to join him for herself. Now she was with Anakin, sleeping with the enemy, she'd thrown herself into the Imperial firepit and relished the burn.
She was a traitor.
She found the strength to look at Dorme and Sabe first but their shock was too painful to endure. Padme wondered what they'd tell Mon when they got back to The Coruscant. She could already see the disapproval and slow shake of the other woman's head. In the space of a moment, in the red-haired woman's conclusive mind she would no longer be a potential ally or a friend in need of rescue. She would be the enemy. Another one of Anakin's snide, Imperial lackeys. Padme had thought like that once too before she knew what he or the Imperials truly were.
The crowd of faceless, nameless Rebels Padme didn't know judged her, in her mind at least. She dragged her gaze across every one of them to delay the inevitable collision of her and Obi-wan's gaze for she feared the aftermath might break her. But he wasn't looking at her at all, his distant blue eyes focused on Anakin with unmistakable, outright hated, unblemished by the truth of context. Would he care if he knew Padme had kissed Anakin first? Would that outrage turn to her if he knew she'd willingly been with him, happily taken her clothes off for him and let herself begin to care about the Imperial leader?
Bail did look at her, his dark eyes shocked but kind and perhaps if she wanted badly enough to see it, understanding. Padme's lips parted but no magical, miraculous words slipped out of them. What could she possibly say to make this sound better? They all knew that this world was a cruel place that killed without mercy, they understood how a person had to cling to any scrap of joy they came across. They wouldn't see it as an excuse. Padme wouldn't, in their shoes.
Would she?
Finally, the shocked silence shattered in a thousand tiny pieces as Clovis stormed closer with a harsh, indignant cry. "Shut your damned mouth, Skywalker! You blackmailing piece of shit! You – you forced her, I know you did!"
"No!" Padme cried before she could stop herself. It was not a defence of Anakin, though they would undoubtedly see it that way, it was a proclamation of her own guilt. "It wasn't like that…"
"Fun's over," Anakin's voice rang out angrily, "You and your followers tried to play me, Obi-wan. I hope that's a mistake you'll never make again… For your sake."
Padme only had the time to look up and catch the danger shining in his eyes before a heavy clanking sound and a monstrous roar sent some Rebels running for their lives as Anakin's pet beast pounced, the vibrant purples and greens of its scales glittering in the sunlight as it bounded across the parking lot to kill. There were screams as it approached, Obi-wan frantically pulled out a long blade from the holster on his hip but the beast was so fast, too fast…
Rebels rushed to their leader's defence, some she knew and others she didn't, but with a shout from Aphra, the Imperials rushed forward and fighting broke out at last between the two factions. Screams filled the air, blood stained the street and Padme fell to her knees with a horrified cry. There hadn't been an all-out war between the Rebels and Imperials like this before, perhaps it was inevitable, perhaps it was fated, but it broke her heart regardless. These were people! People hurting each other, people suffering as the fight grew brutal, savage, absolutely merciless…
And it was her fault.
Padme stayed on the ground shaking as over and over again twin tears trailed down her cheeks, reuniting on her chin before dripping to the concrete below, her shoulders trembled as she fought the urge to lift her head and scream until it was all over. How could Anakin have done this? She knew he could be cruel, that he hurt others to better the lives of the Imperials but this? It was monstrous. He was evil… She let herself forget it but she would never make that mistake again.
She looked up to see Obi-wan knocked to the ground as the Imperial's four-legged beast's green foot slammed down onto the man's leg, its claws sinking into his flesh, pinning him down as its wide mouth parted for the killing lunge. No! She wanted to howl, no, no, please no! Bail shot at the monster but its pained howl lasted only a moment before its aggression exploded. Aphra appeared from nowhere and yanked Bail backwards by the collar rising her blade upwards for power and thrusting it into his side. The man stumbled, crying out from the pain of it and Padme watched the blood stain the blue of his sweater worryingly fast.
She pulled herself to her feet, shaking her head numbly. This couldn't go on… She had to do something! People were going to be killed – her fault – her fault – her fault –
"Make it stop!" She cried, rounding on Anakin furiously, "You've made your point now make it stop!"
He looked at her but his eyes were distant, gleaming as he enjoyed the rush of violence but he nodded a moment later, turning to the chaos with a single worded roar. "Enough!" His voice was so loud, so commanding and most Imperials stopped at once, retreating as the remaining Rebels staggered in shock at the sudden departure of their enemies. Some punches were still thrown and Padme flinched as three gunshots rang out, but after a few minutes, it stopped. Aphra and Rex chased the beast's chain for a moment and the New Zealander dragged the horrid thing back toward the Imperials as it howled and shrieked in protest.
Padme craned her neck to see Sabe tear a strip of her shirt off to wrap the stained material around a thick wound on her sister's arm, Bail kneeled on the ground, bleeding and panting as two men she didn't know rushed to help him stand. Clovis and other Rebels gathered around Obi-wan's body, the sight of her friend threatened to make her wretch.
There was blood everywhere. Anakin's beast's attack had torn hunks of flesh out of the man's leg, his shoulder and his stomach… He barely moved and the audible panic from the Rebels tore a pained, terrified whimper out of her. How could Obi-wan survive that? How could anyone? He'd lost too much blood already… God, if he died here because of that thing, she would never forgive herself.
No, she would never forgive Anakin.
"Don't try to cross me again," his voice cut through the Rebel's panic, "if your leader here wakes up and tries it again, remind him of what happened today." With only a wave of his hand, he chased off the rival faction, but not before Rush looked back at the Imperial leader with a parting glare, his gaze changed when he looked at Padme but did not soften. He looked bitter and pained and she wondered if he hated her too. They all probably did.
As the Rebels shuffled their way back to The Coruscant, carrying the wounded who could not walk as best they could. Every step they took began to smother the grief and guilt Padme felt and stoked at the fires of rage she'd been too distracted to notice before. Her hands trembled as it grew into a blaze, her breath shallowed and the moment the Rebels were out of sight, safe from his wrath, she spun around and punched Anakin so violently that he stumbled backwards into a car with a curse.
Agony swelled in her fingers and knuckles but she did her best to ignore it and focus on her anger instead, using the fury to ground her. "That was your big gesture to prove that you care? Huh? Hurting people that I care about? Killing them? What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
Slowly, he lowered his hand from his nose, grunting at the pain of it. Blood trickled down to his lip. "I didn't kill them."
"Not for lack of trying!"
"I called my people off," he stood tall and dared to reapproach her, "when you asked."
Padme blinked at him in disbelief, her mouth hanging open before a bubble of laughter slipped up and out of her throat. He was crazy! Completely out of his mind. Did he – was he truly twisted enough to actually believe that was a nice gesture? He was so utterly wretched and twisted, it was impossible to understand him… He was insane, she had never been more sure of it. How was this the same man she'd woken up with this morning? It made no sense.
He wiped the blood beneath his nose on the sleeve of his coat and hissed, a bruise was already beginning to form. She hoped she broke something, he deserved it. "Come on," his voice was loud enough for everyone to hear, the message for the Imperials as a whole, "let's go home."
Padme scoffed, sickened, "I'm not going anywhere with you. You're a monster!"
"Don't be so damned difficult." Anakin hissed, lowering his voice, "What? Are you going to live on the streets alone again? I don't think your friends over there would be too happy to see you on their doorstep right now."
"Difficult? Difficult?" She cried, eyes wide, "Are you kidding me?"
The jab about her friends made her ache because it was true. Padme was a traitor now. They'd come to rescue her and almost gotten killed to find out she'd shacked up with her supposed captor. Her bridge to the Rebels was beyond burned, it was ashes in the wind.
Staying with the Imperials was her only choice.
She hated Anakin for that.
Behind him, someone sniggered, someone else whispered and someone gave a low, awkward whistle, as if this was nothing more than a small lovers spat they got to witness. They were all deranged, every one of them, why hadn't she seen it before? Normal people didn't share a laugh over drinks on one day and fly into vicious battle at a word from their leader. They didn't hurt people for no reason.
"You're a monster," she said again, shaking her head at Anakin, "Do you hear me?" Padme shoved at his chest, forcing him back a step, "You're a monster! I hate you! I hate you! I wish you'd never come back into my life, Anakin – if I could, I'd never see you again!"
"You're just upset," hurt flashed across his face before he smothered it, "And you know what they say, Naberrie, there's a fine line between love and hate." He tried to smirk but it didn't reach his eyes this time. Finally, finally, something had affected him. But it was too late – it was probably a farce anyway – Padme closed her heart to him, she could never be with someone who delighted in cruelty.
"Love?" She whispered and then laughed mirthlessly, bitterly, "Love? You think I could ever love someone like you? You're crazier than I thought. I can promise you one thing, Anakin, and it's that I will never, ever love you. Ever."
Something passed across his face then, hurt, anger, regret and maybe a touch of embarrassment at being so dressed down in front of his subordinates. He swallowed and looked to where the Rebels had been, curling his hands into tight fists for a moment before dragging his gaze back to Padme's.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Naberrie."