Xylem, the way Zero acts is just the effect Zippy has on people...
Hello everyone! I know I've never written an author's note before a chapter before but seeing as this is the Fifty-Fifth chapter (my favorite number written twice!) and seeing as you all are so helpful about giving me feedback on this story, I thought I might as well say hello. Thank you all SOOOOOOOOOO much for continuously replying to my story and telling me what you think of it. No matter how corny it sounds, I really do appreciate it. Also, I'm sorry it takes me such a long time to update new chapters, I'm just always really busy lately and I hardly ever have time to write. Finally, if anyone has any suggestions for my story or questions or anything please don't hesitate to ask, I'd be glad to hear what you have to say. Thanks again and I'm sorry I've wasted your time by writing this author's note but hey, it's good to try everything at least once. I'll try to update again soon! I hope you like this chapter!
Munkymuppet
Chapter Fifty-Five
The air may have been stuffy and hot but sitting in the little police car with the air conditioning on full blast made the fact that all the D-tent members were squashed together, and rather cramped, bearable.
"Will you change the station?" Magnetic moaned for the third time in the last couple of minutes. "I can't stand this stupid rap-rock crap! It's giving me a headache!"
"No," Twitch replied, he was still at the wheel and was rather enjoying the radio station they had been listening to since they had all gotten into the car. "If I change it all we'll get is static."
"Yeah right!" Magnetic retorted. "What about that channel you skipped earlier, before you found this one? It actually had cool music!"
"Yeah, I don't really like this station either," Lei said, reaching for the radio dial and changing the channel.
"NO!" Twitch, Squid, Static, and Chase cried as the radio speaker started blaring out sounds of static mumbo-jumbo.
"It took me a long time to find that station too," Twitch pouted, glancing over at Lei just long enough to give her the 'evil eye'.
"This gives me more of a headache then Linkin Park did," Chase grumbled, covering her ears to try and drown out the annoying fuzz still echoing about the car as Lei frantically tried to find a new station.
"There we go!" Lei said triumphantly, finally finding a station that played music by Jennifer Lopez, Brittany Spears, Jessica Simpson and other pop idols that sang the complete opposite of what D-tent had just been listening to.
"Awe!" All the D-tent guys grumbled, Squid folding his arms and looking crossly out the window and Armpit looking as if he could die.
"Why can't we listen to the oldies channel?" Zippy asked hopefully, propping herself up onto her knees so that she could prod Lei in the back of the head.
Everyone turned to glare at her except Zero, who couldn't help but laugh.
"What?" Zippy asked. "I LOVE the old people!"
This seemed to finalize it and no one said anything as they turned to look anywhere but at Zippy who found it all to be quite flattering.
"I just wanna sleep," Fidget said tierdly, her voice as dry as it had been before they had found aid at the hospital. "I just wanna sleep," she repeated, letting her head loll back against the seat, her eyes closed and her breath became thick.
Everyone was quiet except for the voices exuding from the radio speakers at the front of the car. Chase, thinking Fidget had the right idea, rested her head back on Squid's warm shoulder and allowed herself to close her eyes, slowly drifting off into the deepest sleep she had endured since the night before she'd hit the little boy on the hillside with her mother's car. Back before she had been given her sentence in court, in the presence of a judge who had looked down upon her as if she was the ugliest most vile creature they'd ever seen. Back before she'd entered Camp Lakeway, scared and alone. Back before she'd met Zippy and Fidget, Static, Rogue, Magnetic and Lei. Back before she, and all her fellow female juvenile deliquents had been moved hundreds of miles to Camp Green Lake after Camp Lakeway's warden had suddenly died. Long back before she'd ever even laid eyes on Squid or any of the other Green Lake boys. And back before this tremulous journey had even begun.
Squid looked down upon her emotionless face and smiled: It was the first time he'd seen her like this in all the time that he'd known her.
"You know what?" X-ray asked to no one in particular from where he sat in the back seat, squashed between Rogue and the window. "If I were at home right now, I can honestly tell you that I wouldn't be having as much fun as I've had during this trip."
Static smiled thoughtfully. "I agree with you X-ray," she said slowly. "All this time all I've been thinking about is getting home. But I've never done anything at home as exciting as everything we've encountered so far."
"Yeah, right," Magnetic grumbled. "Hot weather, sweaty orange jump suits, and near-death experiences. I can't wait to do all that again."
"Oh, you know what she means you big poop-head!" Zippy cried, she had now migrated from the cramped back seats to the floor in front of them and was sitting on top of Static's feet. "Like that water fight we had on the bus that one time! That was lot's of fun!"
"Hey! I remember that!" Twitch whooped from the driver's seat. "Everyone was soaked! And you could see through all the girl's white shirts!"
"WHAT?" several people cried at once: the girl's outbursts due to their anger and shock and Zigzag's outburst due to the fact that he (sadly) hadn't noticed anything.
"And the time in the hotel when we got to mess around in the little restaurant downstairs!" Zippy said, who was so flat-chested that she seemed undisturbed by Twitch's statement opposed to some of the more matured girl's who were still glaring at him in disgust.
"And we snuck wine back up to the room," Magnetic said with a snobbish air, portraying someone of a higher class. "Yeah, that was pretty fun."
"And that night in the cornfield," Zero added. "When we had the fireworks."
"Oh God, that was one of the scariest nights!" Static cried. "With everyone jumping out at us and Magnetic screaming 'Bloody murder' every now and then."
"Yeah, but you found us in the end," Zigzag said, smiling ruefully.
"Oh don't even let me get started on you," Static said, rounding onto Zigzag like a mad hornet. "You were the leader of that whole operation and you were the one who pulled my pants down!"
Magnet abruptly snorted. "I forgot about that!" he laughed. "That one was good, man," he said in praise to Zigzag.
"I know!" Zigzag laughed before he was scared into silence by Static's mean glare.
"And remember WAY back," Lei said, turning around in the front seat so she could address all the girls. "That night under God's Thumb when we drank the last of the Sploosh?"
"Yeah!" Zippy cried excitedly. "Fidget drew on our faces and you did our hair!"
"What?" Squid asked, looking to his fellow male friends for help, all of whom seemed just as confused.
"Oh you wouldn't get it," Magnetic said airily, glad to know about something the guys didn't.
"Well I remember the day I got to see you naked in a shower chica," Magnet said, even prouder then Magnetic.
Magnetic's know-it-all expression dissolved in an instant and she was left with a face as red as a tomato. "I thought I told you never EVER to mention that again!" she growled between clenched teeth.
"Oh so you two have been having conversations in private then," Armpit laughed.
"Ooh!" Lei squealed, grinning uncontrollably.
"No! Of coarse not!" Magnetic cried, her face going from dark red to pale green. "Why would I do something stupid like-"
"Well I remember the time we all ate Orgasmic ice cream!" Zippy said, her eyes glazing over as if she were remembering something amazing.
No one said anything but rather stared at Zippy in absolute horror, all thinking the same thing: Orgasmic ice cream?
They all concluded that it was just Zippy's wild imagination running away with her again.
"Remember when we finally reached the top of God's thumb?" Lei asked.
"Yeah," Rogue said with a grin. "And how surprised and upset we were when the boys reached the top of it as well."
"Yeah, that was pretty unexpected," Lei agreed.
"But I'm glad you guys decided to climb that stupid mountain," Static said, running her fingers through Zigzag's hair. "Who knows where we'd be now if you hadn't."
"You'd probably be at home," Armpit said frankly. "Clean, fed, and happy. We have caused a lot of trouble for you guys."
"Like what?" Lei asked, looking confused.
"Like that bench," Squid said in remorse. "I was the one who had the stupid idea to waste time and see how many people it took to break the bench. If it hadn't been for me and my dumb idea we would have got to the bus station a lot earlier and we probably would've caught a different bus with a nicer bus driver."
"Oh don't blame yourself for that!" Static chastised as if it were one of the silliest things she'd ever heard. "That whole bench-breaking experience was one of the best things to have happened to us in days. We all needed a laugh, and thanks to your idea that's exactly what we got."
"Yeah," Squid said, sounding somewhat like a mournful child. "But still..."
"Come on man, that wasn't that bad," X-ray said. "At least your suggestion didn't put anyone at risk like my stupid idea."
"What are you goin' on about now?" Zigzag asked, staring from Squid to X-ray in confusion.
"Remember back a long time ago," X-ray replied, "back when Zippy fell off that mountain?"
"I remember that!" Zippy cried excitedly as if it were the best memory she had, even better then the time she and the others supposedly ate Orgasmic ice cream. "But that wasn't your fault at all," she continued. "That was my fault: I was the one who just had to climb down that mountain as fast as I could." She paused, then said suddenly, "Oh, and it was partially Chase's fault for being such a slowpoke. But I've forgiven her," she patted Chase reassuringly on the knee to no response as Chase was still fast asleep.
"No, it was my fault," X-ray said, looking nervous. "I was the one who gave the go-ahead for everyone to start climbing down that particular side of the mountain, remember? Chase had asked us something about whether or not we should climb down from there and I'm the one who said yes. I didn't even consider anything! I just said, 'Go right ahead'."
"Any of us would have said yes to Chase's question," Lei replied. "It's not your fault at all."
"Yeah," Zero added. "There was no other way to climb down anyway."
"Yeah!" Zippy mimicked. "Besides, just look at me now! I'm perfectly fine except for my disfigured face and my pulsating bottom. But the way I figure it those are just a few more attributes that are going to make me money. Look out Hollywood and Ripley's Believe It Or Not, here I come!"
"Yeah, you really shouldn't beat yourself up about it X-ray," Static said. "Zippy enjoys the absurd attention," she added nodding towards Zippy who was now performing the chicken dance at a sitting position.
"You guys, excluding you, Magnet," Magnetic began, glaring at Magnet, "haven't really done anything bad that seriously slowed us down. I mean, it was Chase who pointed out that way down the mountain, wasn't it?"
Static turned briskly to glare at Magnetic. "Don't start that grudge again," she warned.
"I'm not starting any grudge again," Magnetic retorted. "I never had any grudge against her anyway! I'm just saying, she was the one who showed all of us that way down the mountain. Maybe if she hadn't said anything and we had kept looking around we might've found a safer way down."
"What are you suggesting we would have found a golden staircase?" Static asked sarcastically. "Think about it Magnetic, chances are there probably was no safer way. Chase was just being helpful by pointing out that particular spot. If she hadn't've done so somebody else would have."
"I know, I know," Magnetic said, brushing away the suggestion with a wave of her hand. "But I'm just saying that Chase has caused a lot of trouble this whole journey."
"What else do you think she did wrong then?" Zippy asked offensively, retiring from the chicken dance so that she could glare up at Magnetic with malice.
"Well, I dunno," Magnetic began, though it was obvious by her tone that she had a million things lined up to blame on Chase. "Remember that time after the bus driver stranded us in the middle of nowhere? She got all upset and stormed off."
"Yeah, so? We were all angry," Static said.
"Yeah but she just ran off and left us to stand there wondering what the hell we were supposed to do. If she hadn't got all huffy and left us there then we would've been able to hitchhike all the way to Dallas without stopping to worry about her and Squid. I mean, if it weren't for her then we would have never even left for this stupid journey at all!"
"Excuse me?" Rogue asked, taken aback. "As I recall it was you an' me who overheard Chase complainin' that night an' it was you an' me who decided to start makin' plans for an escape. Chase didn' even know nothin' about until we told her. Remember that?"
Here Magnetic stumbled for words. "Yeah... So what? If she hadn't been complaining so loudly the I would have never got the idea to escape!"
"She had a right to complain though!" Zippy cried defiantly. "That jerk that had been messing with her that night had really pissed her off when he kissed her. Remember that? Remember how she ripped his lip? I don't blame her either. I would have been mad too if a guy that ugly had been harassing me!"
"That reminds me," Squid said. "I have to kick the shit out of him if I ever see him again."
"Who was it again?" Armpit asked. "Easy?"
"Naw," Zigzag replied knowingly. "It was Spit."
"I knew I was going to have to kick his ass one day," Squid nearly growled, looking dangerous.
"His name was Spit?" Lei asked in disgust. "Why?"
"Cause he liked to spit a lot," Armpit explained simply. "Especially on people."
"That's gross!" Lei cried.
"Not really," Armpit said shrugging.
Lei stared at him as if he'd just offered her a plate of haggis.
"Anyway," Static said, turning her gaze back to Magnetic's shrewd expression. "Chase isn't at fault for anything except being hungry, hot, and tired-just like the rest of us-and that's all there is to it."
"Period!" Zippy concluded, grinning from ear to ear like an insane person again. It wasn't until a few silent seconds later that she burst out laughing at the mentioning of the word 'period' and frankly, the members of D-tent were surprised she hadn't exploded sooner.
"Remember that one time?" Zigzag asked suddenly, gazing out before him as if he was watching the road and horizon beyond the windshield.
"What one time?" Static asked patiently as if she was completely used to this sudden outburst of vagueness.
"You know," Zigzag explained, still distractedly gazing onward. "That one time... When I had my lighter... On the bus... And-"
"And you practically burnt my hair off?" Magnetic asked, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. "Oh yeah, I remember."
"Yeah," Zigzag said excitedly, ripping his eyes away from their trance and grinning wildly at her. "Oh, that was a great day," he said while slowly reaching into his pants' pocket and retrieving his little red and gold lighter. "Just me and my lighter..."
"I don't even know why he needs me!" Static cried exasperatedly. "All he needs is his lighter and he's perfectly happy."
Zigzag looked shocked and immediately wrapped his arms around Static's shoulders and began rocking back and forth in a demented fashion, as if it was supposed to be comforting.
"Well I don't care just as long as he doesn't start masturbating in here," Magnetic said obtrusively, eyeing Zigzag cautiously. "The way that stupid lighter turns him on is kind of scary."
"Oh God Magnetic!" Static cried as Squid, X-ray, Armpit, Twitch, Zero, Magnet and Zippy burst out laughing. "I can't believe you would say that! Don't give him any ideas!"
"Yeah," Zigzag said offensively behind a big, give-away grin. "Don't give me any ideas!"
"Oh crap," Static grumbled, rolling her eyes.
"You know what I just noticed?" Lei asked, staring around at everyone with her eyebrows furrowed as if she hadn't heard a word of the previous subject. "Some of us never changed back into our jumpsuits."
And it was true, many of them were still dressed in their frail hospital smocks and pants, all of them looking like patients in a taxi to the nearest insane asylum.
"Even Chase is still wearing that doctor's coat you had her put on earlier," Lei continued.
"Hey, I wonder what she's got on under there?" Magnet said furtively, eyeing Chase's sleeping body with lustful curiosity. He was about to suggest more until he realized Squid was glaring at him, giving him one of the most dangerous warnings without even opening his mouth. And judging by the fact that Squid was tall, strong, and had been working as X-ray's "muscle", or henchman, for the past year, Magnet knew better to continue.
"But really," Lei said. "If push-comes-to-shove and somehow we find ourselves back out there in the desert how are we supposed to survive in these?" she tugged on the sheer linen smock she was wearing, looking down at it with an expression of distaste. "They're hardly thick enough to protect us from the sun."
Squid shrugged his shoulders. "I guess you guys should have got dressed like me," he said frankly.
"Oh please!" Magnetic cried. "You were the only one who even knew what was going on! The rest of us were just told that the Warden was coming and we needed to get out of there as soon as possible. What were we supposed to do? Get dressed, pack our bags, and hug the doctors goodbye?"
"Yeah man, I didn't know what the hell was goin' on!" Zigzag contributed. "I was sneakin' around with Static when this doctor came in and told us we needed to leave-"
"For the hundredth time Zigzag," Static said, now impatient. "That was Chase, not a doctor."
"Oh..." Zigzag said quietly, furrowing his brow in confusion. Then he said, "Are you sure? Cause it really looked like a doctor to me-"
"Oh my God!" Static cried before going off on a bickering rant about how Zigzag could be so clueless sometimes.
"I just thought we were gonna get doughnuts," Armpit grunted, still looking a little ticked about not getting what he wanted. "I mean, that's all Ziggy told me. He didn't tell me nothin' about gettin' all dressed and all that."
"Don't worry guys," Squid reassured them. "I'm sure it will be fine. This car won't break down anyway, right Twitch?" he called up to the driver's seat.
"That's right!" Twitch replied jovially, practically bouncing in his seat. "Not unless we run out of gas, which should be any minute now!"
Squid had not been expecting this answer, especially in the joyous form that it had been given.
"So I suppose we'd better pull off at the next exit and see if we can find a gas station, eh Twitch?" he asked, trying to keep his voice as calm and merry as Twitch's.
"Yes sir!" Twitch replied. "I reckon so." He paused, raised himself up so that he could look back in the review mirror, and then continued. "But you know what else I think we should do?" he asked, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. "I think we ought to steal a different car as I bet'ch'ya anything them cops are gonna be after us."
"Well then why don't we pull off at the next exit and see if we can find any car to steal," Squid said, staring right back at Twitch in the review mirror.
"All right," Twitch said happily, sitting back down and pressing the gas so that the car sped up and zoomed down the lonely highway.
As the car rolled on, in search of an exit to pull of at, the members of D-tent slowly drifted off to sleep, all of them thinking peacefully about the long journey behind them and the promising road ahead.